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(Short List)   "I put some spaghetti up there, but that was a long time ago," - The words of one six-year-old moments before a doctor pulled a piece of LEGO out of his nose. It had been up there for three years   (shortlist.com) divider line 70
    More: Amusing, Lego, noses  
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7718 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Aug 2012 at 10:39 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-07 08:54:52 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-07 09:21:50 AM  
Done in one.
 
2012-08-07 09:25:15 AM  
I made so many emergency room trips as a kid. I'm amazed I'm still alive. Ranged from getting hit by a car when I was 6 to getting a kidney bean stuck in my nose once.

/Good times.
 
2012-08-07 09:55:36 AM  
Get down off there Chaime, get down off the doctor
 
2012-08-07 10:40:28 AM  
encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-08-07 10:40:55 AM  
I had the same problems for a long time. It was mostly pills and coke though. She'll only get sober when she wants to.
 
2012-08-07 10:42:00 AM  
He's acting like an animal. He sticks everything up his nose.
 
2012-08-07 10:44:00 AM  
Hmm. Now I wonder what items the younger-me lodged up my nose. Are any still there?
 
2012-08-07 10:45:01 AM  
newsimg.ngfiles.com

/Hot as marinara.
 
2012-08-07 10:45:12 AM  
"...and doctor, keep the change."
 
2012-08-07 10:45:31 AM  
Scroll down for "Drunk moose gets stuck in tree": Link
 
2012-08-07 10:47:23 AM  
Warning: avoid all green Legos.
 
2012-08-07 10:47:54 AM  
dont put marbles in your nose!
put them in there, do not put them in there!!
 
2012-08-07 10:48:26 AM  
Sounds like he needs some Ragu.
 
2012-08-07 10:51:17 AM  
First, he started with a juju bead.
 
2012-08-07 10:53:56 AM  
He should have sent a fireman and policeman after it.
 
2012-08-07 10:54:28 AM  

AirForceVet: I made so many emergency room trips as a kid. I'm amazed I'm still alive. Ranged from getting hit by a car when I was 6 to getting a kidney bean stuck in my nose once.

/Good times.


That was my sister, she had an obsession with sticking things up her nose. Emergency room for corn kernels, dried beans, plastic beads, etc.

/she's blonde
 
2012-08-07 10:55:22 AM  
Lego tire... He was building a rhinocar.
 
2012-08-07 10:56:02 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: dont put marbles in your nose!
put them in there, do not put them in there!!


Came for this.
 
2012-08-07 10:56:50 AM  
3 years to discover! Time for a new doctor.
 
2012-08-07 10:59:57 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: dont put marbles in your nose!
put them in there, do not put them in there!!


MAR
BUL
SIN
UR
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES!
 
2012-08-07 11:01:07 AM  

Ben4149: Warning: avoid all green Lego.


FTFY
 
2012-08-07 11:02:35 AM  
For whatever reason I grew up thinking most kids were just dumbasses. I never shoved foreign objects up my nose or in any other oriffices. Just seemed counter intuitive. My sister, who jumped off a bunk bed because she thought she could fly, never shoved things up her nose. It's like watching Darwin at work I think at times.

/if I had a kid and he shoved legos up his nose, I'd do the gene pool a favor and get him a vasectomy
 
2012-08-07 11:05:38 AM  
One of my childhood friends decided to cram a LEGO antenna in his urethra when he was about six. He probably hoped I would never tell that story on the internet, but there you go.
 
2012-08-07 11:07:55 AM  
nickles, pennies, quarters... he's got fort knox UP HIS NOSE!
 
2012-08-07 11:08:15 AM  

The Bunyip: One of my childhood friends decided to cram a LEGO antenna in his urethra when he was about six. He probably hoped I would never tell that story on the internet, but there you go.


Uh....why did he tell you?

It was you, wasn't it?
 
2012-08-07 11:10:06 AM  

Mr_Ectomy: Ben4149: Warning: avoid all green Legos Lego LEGO.

FTFY


FTFBOY
 
2012-08-07 11:10:45 AM  

KatjaMouse: For whatever reason I grew up thinking most kids were just dumbasses. I never shoved foreign objects up my nose or in any other oriffices. Just seemed counter intuitive.


Agreed.
 
2012-08-07 11:11:34 AM  
YixilTesiphon Uh....why did he tell you? It was you, wasn't it?

No, I remember my Mom telling me about it after my friend had to go to the doctor to get it removed. I'm guessing she wanted to make sure I knew not to cram LEGO parts in my junk.
 
2012-08-07 11:12:13 AM  

KatjaMouse: For whatever reason I grew up thinking most kids were just dumbasses. I never shoved foreign objects up my nose or in any other oriffices. Just seemed counter intuitive. My sister, who jumped off a bunk bed because she thought she could fly, never shoved things up her nose. It's like watching Darwin at work I think at times.


Came here to say the same thing. I didn't shove anything up my nose. I didn't eat dirt. I didn't spit. I didn't squash bugs in my hand. I didn't eat my own boogers -- or anyone else's, for that matter. I don't understand what children find appealing about any of those.
 
2012-08-07 11:17:34 AM  
 
2012-08-07 11:18:08 AM  

Dragonflew: Mr_Ectomy: Ben4149: Warning: avoid all green Legos Lego LEGO® pieces or bricks.

FTFY

FTFBOY


a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-08-07 11:18:19 AM  
For years and years I felt something in my right ear. I would tap it with pencils, scrape it with paperclips, etc.. but could never get it out. In middleschool, on one of those doctor school-visits, I asked about it and after a quick look he told me it was simply dried earwax and to try using a moistened q-tip. Didn't work.

Fast forward to first year of college. Everyone sitting around taking a test, with me once again playing with a mechanical pencil in my ear when I feel something shift. I had never been so excited in my life. I stopped everything and carefully navigated the end of the pencil around the object, slowly rolling it out step by step. After a few minutes, a sudden slipping feeling came and something fell onto the floor. Anxiously, I picked it up and examined it.

It was a big, hard ball of wax.

But then, while playing with it (which I of course was going to do after 10+ years of mystery) some wax flaked off and it was different underneath. I quickly stripped it of all the wax that had accumulated over the past decade.

It was a farking cherry pit.

I had a farking cherry pit in my ear for most of my childhood and didn't realize it. Doctors never noticed it. My parents never noticed it. Lord knows I don't remember putting it in there so I don't even know how it got in there.

my balance and hearing in that ear was a bit off for the next few days, but returned to normal. Some days I miss that little mystery in my life.
 
2012-08-07 11:18:26 AM  
This is why we can't have Buckyballs.

Damn kids.
 
2012-08-07 11:19:17 AM  
My brother stuck a penny up his nose when he was a toddler. I stuck a bean up my nose around the same age. My younger brother shoved a bean up his nose too. By the time me and my younger brother did it, though, my mom didn't freak out any more, she just pushed the other nostril closed and told us to "blow it out hard". Worked too; they she told us not to do that any more.

/listened to her too
//just like when she told us about our older brother putting a penny up his nose as a kid...
 
2012-08-07 11:19:53 AM  
well i'm shiatting bricks

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-07 11:26:52 AM  
farm4.static.flickr.com

When I was a camp counselor back in the day, we had one camper that was extremely high maintenance and always wanted attention. We were in the middle of a wide game activity and this kid keep shoving this woolly bear caterpillar in everyone's faces. One of my fellow counselors took the kid to get rid of it and the kid asked " What do you want me to do with it?"

"I don't care, stick it up your nose"

...

*ambulance noises*
 
2012-08-07 11:27:25 AM  
The kid's obviously a paste eater.
 
2012-08-07 11:27:31 AM  
holy crap, another internet author who assumes everyone was born in his time slot. (adjusts onions hanging from belt) back in my day there was no LEGOs, no big wheels, no star wars, none of that crap. and we liked it that way, by gum.
 
2012-08-07 11:30:25 AM  

spazzhappy: For years and years I felt something in my right ear. I would tap it with pencils, scrape it with paperclips, etc.. but could never get it out. In middleschool, on one of those doctor school-visits, I asked about it and after a quick look he told me it was simply dried earwax and to try using a moistened q-tip. Didn't work.

Fast forward to first year of college. Everyone sitting around taking a test, with me once again playing with a mechanical pencil in my ear when I feel something shift. I had never been so excited in my life. I stopped everything and carefully navigated the end of the pencil around the object, slowly rolling it out step by step. After a few minutes, a sudden slipping feeling came and something fell onto the floor. Anxiously, I picked it up and examined it.

It was a big, hard ball of wax.

But then, while playing with it (which I of course was going to do after 10+ years of mystery) some wax flaked off and it was different underneath. I quickly stripped it of all the wax that had accumulated over the past decade.

It was a farking cherry pit.

I had a farking cherry pit in my ear for most of my childhood and didn't realize it. Doctors never noticed it. My parents never noticed it. Lord knows I don't remember putting it in there so I don't even know how it got in there.

my balance and hearing in that ear was a bit off for the next few days, but returned to normal. Some days I miss that little mystery in my life.


I got a strange satisfaction from that story. I was right there with you the whole time
 
2012-08-07 11:33:43 AM  
My oldest daughter shoved some chicken nugget pieces up her nose when she was 2. She was acting odd at dinner, turning away from us, but we didn't think anything of it. Later that night, she complained of not feeling well, and she started to get a fever. Ended up taking her to emerg later that night, after a little chunk of chicken fell out of her nose. The doctor used a hook, designed for just this purpose, to remove the rest.

Fast forward 6 months, and we were walking n the tile floor in the front hall, and heard the sound of a little rock hit the ground. She proceeded to pick it up and hide it, so we knew something was up. That something was a trip to the emerg again, to have some ball diamond rocks removed.

She is smarter now.
 
2012-08-07 11:37:57 AM  
Got the wheel from a hot wheel jammed way up my nose as a kid. Don't remember it, but my father loves telling the story.
 
2012-08-07 11:40:23 AM  
I did this exact same thing when I was about three or so.

farm5.staticflickr.com
It's the clear yellow one in the uppermost left hand corner, the number "143" is beneath it apparently.

At the time- which was about 1980- this was basically the smallest lego brick you could have. I had a set of DUPLO bricks which were mine to play with of course, but Ma had turned her attention for a couple seconds which gave me time to creep my way over to my brother's pile of "oldaboy" legos.

I picked up one of them and immediately began positioning it on the end of my finger, which for whatever reason, I deemed wise to stick up my nostril. By this time, my mother spies me from across the room with a tiny little lego on the end of my finger, poised right beneath my nose.

Now, mom knows that- if she lunges for me- I'm going to panic and jam that little bugger straight up my snuffler. So she start trying to casually move towards me in the hopes she can catch my hand. Unfortunately, by that time, I'd spotted her too, and- knowing she meant to thwart my nasal adventurism, I thrust that sucker right up there.

Last thing I rightly recall was a very large man with a white coat, a porn stache, and a set of very, very long tweezers over me in the ER.
 
2012-08-07 11:43:53 AM  
I'm guessing this kid reads at an abortion-grade reading level.
 
2012-08-07 11:47:54 AM  

Dull Cow Eyes: I'm guessing this kid reads at an abortion-grade reading level.


Not a lot of three-year-olds read, at an "abortion-grade" (a year I don't recall in K-8) or otherwise.
 
2012-08-07 11:48:17 AM  
Kids are stupid.
 
2012-08-07 11:52:48 AM  

spazzhappy: For years and years I felt something in my right ear. I would tap it with pencils, scrape it with paperclips, etc.. but could never get it out. In middleschool, on one of those doctor school-visits, I asked about it and after a quick look he told me it was simply dried earwax and to try using a moistened q-tip. Didn't work.

Fast forward to first year of college. Everyone sitting around taking a test, with me once again playing with a mechanical pencil in my ear when I feel something shift. I had never been so excited in my life. I stopped everything and carefully navigated the end of the pencil around the object, slowly rolling it out step by step. After a few minutes, a sudden slipping feeling came and something fell onto the floor. Anxiously, I picked it up and examined it.

It was a big, hard ball of wax.

But then, while playing with it (which I of course was going to do after 10+ years of mystery) some wax flaked off and it was different underneath. I quickly stripped it of all the wax that had accumulated over the past decade.

It was a farking cherry pit.

I had a farking cherry pit in my ear for most of my childhood and didn't realize it. Doctors never noticed it. My parents never noticed it. Lord knows I don't remember putting it in there so I don't even know how it got in there.

my balance and hearing in that ear was a bit off for the next few days, but returned to normal. Some days I miss that little mystery in my life.


How'd you do on the test?
 
2012-08-07 12:13:22 PM  
You place Booger Lego Marble in the bowl and receive 1QP for your efforts.
 
GBB
2012-08-07 12:18:13 PM  

Mr_Ectomy: Dragonflew: Mr_Ectomy: Ben4149: Warning: avoid all green Legos Lego LEGO® pieces or bricks.

FTFY

FTFBOY

[a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net image 662x516]


That's just putting a bandaid on the problem. You'd need quite a few kleenex if you knew how bad it really is.

/I should really xerox this to pass around at work.
 
2012-08-07 12:32:13 PM  
My friend's son swallowed a quarter last month. Kids and metal coins. They must like the taste. My aunt pushed my mother down the stairs because she had swallowed a bell off of a shirt and my aunt wanted to see if she would jingle. They were three and four at the time.
 
2012-08-07 12:37:59 PM  
My youngest had a penchant for sticking dried beans up his nose. They'd glue them onto paper in daycare, and I guess he figured one could go up his nose.

I noticed it that afternoon when one nostril was much wider (and redder) than the other. I simply took a bobby pin, washed it with alcohol, then coated it in baby oil, popped that bean right out of his nose before he could freak out. After two run ins with me and Dr. Bobbypin (my mom also used them to pop blackheads in my ears as a kid - not a good story, very painful) he didn't shove anything up there again.

It just goes to show that with enough lubrication and patience you can get anything into (and out of) an orifice.
 
2012-08-07 12:42:24 PM  

Willis13: spazzhappy: For years and years I felt something in my right ear. I would tap it with pencils, scrape it with paperclips, etc.. but could never get it out. In middleschool, on one of those doctor school-visits, I asked about it and after a quick look he told me it was simply dried earwax and to try using a moistened q-tip. Didn't work.

Fast forward to first year of college. Everyone sitting around taking a test, with me once again playing with a mechanical pencil in my ear when I feel something shift. I had never been so excited in my life. I stopped everything and carefully navigated the end of the pencil around the object, slowly rolling it out step by step. After a few minutes, a sudden slipping feeling came and something fell onto the floor. Anxiously, I picked it up and examined it.

It was a big, hard ball of wax.

But then, while playing with it (which I of course was going to do after 10+ years of mystery) some wax flaked off and it was different underneath. I quickly stripped it of all the wax that had accumulated over the past decade.

It was a farking cherry pit.

I had a farking cherry pit in my ear for most of my childhood and didn't realize it. Doctors never noticed it. My parents never noticed it. Lord knows I don't remember putting it in there so I don't even know how it got in there.

my balance and hearing in that ear was a bit off for the next few days, but returned to normal. Some days I miss that little mystery in my life.

I got a strange satisfaction from that story. I was right there with you the whole time


Dude. I know, right? That was fantastic. I almost felt the.....yeah.....satisfaction is exactly the right word, when that cherry pit hit the floor. And then the quirky reveal of a cherry pit was delightful. Bravo, good man. Bravo.
 
2012-08-07 12:54:24 PM  

th0th: It just goes to show that with enough lubrication and patience you can get anything into (and out of) an orifice.


I think I'm in love with you.

/Just kidding.
//Couldn't resist the line.
 
2012-08-07 01:00:39 PM  
"Up your nose with a rubber Legos!"
 
2012-08-07 01:06:36 PM  

The Bunyip: One of my childhood friends decided to cram a LEGO antenna in his urethra when he was about six. He probably hoped I would never tell that story on the internet, but there you go.


You sob now I have to explain the laughter to my coworker.

How did he you know I don't wanna know
 
2012-08-07 01:20:09 PM  

SkunkWerks: I did this exact same thing when I was about three or so.

[farm5.staticflickr.com image 640x480]
It's the clear yellow one in the uppermost left hand corner, the number "143" is beneath it apparently.

At the time- which was about 1980- this was basically the smallest lego brick you could have. I had a set of DUPLO bricks which were mine to play with of course, but Ma had turned her attention for a couple seconds which gave me time to creep my way over to my brother's pile of "oldaboy" legos.

I picked up one of them and immediately began positioning it on the end of my finger, which for whatever reason, I deemed wise to stick up my nostril. By this time, my mother spies me from across the room with a tiny little lego on the end of my finger, poised right beneath my nose.

Now, mom knows that- if she lunges for me- I'm going to panic and jam that little bugger straight up my snuffler. So she start trying to casually move towards me in the hopes she can catch my hand. Unfortunately, by that time, I'd spotted her too, and- knowing she meant to thwart my nasal adventurism, I thrust that sucker right up there.

Last thing I rightly recall was a very large man with a white coat, a porn stache, and a set of very, very long tweezers over me in the ER.


Well I don't have any kids, but I've always suspected it was like having dogs. Now I know my suspicions have been confirmed.
*lets dog out. Dog and I both spy a cigarette butt on the ground*
Don't. You. Farking. Do. It. *Starts edging towards dog.*
*Dog sees that I am attempting to keep her from eating cigarette butt*
*Chomp* *Run* *Chew Chew Chew*
What the farking fark is wrong with you?
*Tackles dog to wrestle shredded cigarette butt from mouth*

On the plus side having dogs has prepaired me for dealing with children.
At mom's for dinner. Sees 6 year old niece reaching for eggs on counter.
"NO!" *points to floor* "Here" *points to chair* "Sit" (Niece performed these tasks admirably and without question)
*cue biatchy sister-in-law who says I should not command her children like they were dogs.*
 
2012-08-07 01:29:01 PM  

MythDragon: Well I don't have any kids, but I've always suspected it was like having dogs. Now I know my suspicions have been confirmed.


Dogs (of any age) and three year old children share about the same kind of mental capacity. It's true.
 
2012-08-07 02:13:39 PM  
 
2012-08-07 02:48:10 PM  
Did they try a can of Dr. Brown's Creme Soda?
 
2012-08-07 04:24:20 PM  

WalMartian: Did they try a can of Dr. Brown's Creme Soda?


like
 
2012-08-07 04:40:47 PM  

The Bunyip: One of my childhood friends decided to cram a LEGO antenna in his urethra when he was about six. He probably hoped I would never tell that story on the internet, but there you go.


Did he get good reception?
 
2012-08-07 04:51:37 PM  

The Bunyip: One of my childhood friends decided to cram a LEGO antenna in his urethra when he was about six. He probably hoped I would never tell that story on the internet, but there you go.


You asshole. Last time i tell you anything in confidence...

*looks at your profile*

Wait, Jersey... i, uh, erm... no, me neither, who would do that?
 
2012-08-07 05:00:02 PM  

YixilTesiphon: spazzhappy: For years and years I felt something in my right ear. I would tap it with pencils, scrape it with paperclips, etc.. but could never get it out. In middleschool, on one of those doctor school-visits, I asked about it and after a quick look he told me it was simply dried earwax and to try using a moistened q-tip. Didn't work.

Fast forward to first year of college. Everyone sitting around taking a test, with me once again playing with a mechanical pencil in my ear when I feel something shift. I had never been so excited in my life. I stopped everything and carefully navigated the end of the pencil around the object, slowly rolling it out step by step. After a few minutes, a sudden slipping feeling came and something fell onto the floor. Anxiously, I picked it up and examined it.

It was a big, hard ball of wax.

But then, while playing with it (which I of course was going to do after 10+ years of mystery) some wax flaked off and it was different underneath. I quickly stripped it of all the wax that had accumulated over the past decade.

It was a farking cherry pit.

I had a farking cherry pit in my ear for most of my childhood and didn't realize it. Doctors never noticed it. My parents never noticed it. Lord knows I don't remember putting it in there so I don't even know how it got in there.

my balance and hearing in that ear was a bit off for the next few days, but returned to normal. Some days I miss that little mystery in my life.

How'd you do on the test?


Yeah man. Your story left us hanging.


Slightly related, a friend of mine once ran into a rosebush as a teenager. Afterward his eye hurt for a few hours, then it was okay. His mom was worried he might have damaged it though, so she took him to an eye doctor three or four days later. The doc looks at his eye, says "hold on a sec", pokes it, and pulls out a goddamn rose thorn half the width of a dime. My friend swears he never felt a thing.
 
2012-08-07 05:19:59 PM  

HailRobonia: Did he get good reception?


Of course not. The idiot put it in backwards.

Cyno01:

Wait, Jersey... i, uh, erm... no, me neither, who would do that?


I had to check yours as well -- he doesn't live in Jersey any more. That would have been...awkward. The LEGO in pen15 thing, not living in Jersey.
 
2012-08-07 06:13:19 PM  

YixilTesiphon: spazzhappy: For years and years I felt something in my right ear. I would tap it with pencils, scrape it with paperclips, etc.. but could never get it out. In middleschool, on one of those doctor school-visits, I asked about it and after a quick look he told me it was simply dried earwax and to try using a moistened q-tip. Didn't work.

Fast forward to first year of college. Everyone sitting around taking a test, with me once again playing with a mechanical pencil in my ear when I feel something shift. I had never been so excited in my life. I stopped everything and carefully navigated the end of the pencil around the object, slowly rolling it out step by step. After a few minutes, a sudden slipping feeling came and something fell onto the floor. Anxiously, I picked it up and examined it.

It was a big, hard ball of wax.

But then, while playing with it (which I of course was going to do after 10+ years of mystery) some wax flaked off and it was different underneath. I quickly stripped it of all the wax that had accumulated over the past decade.

It was a farking cherry pit.

I had a farking cherry pit in my ear for most of my childhood and didn't realize it. Doctors never noticed it. My parents never noticed it. Lord knows I don't remember putting it in there so I don't even know how it got in there.

my balance and hearing in that ear was a bit off for the next few days, but returned to normal. Some days I miss that little mystery in my life.

How'd you do on the test?


i36.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-07 07:31:07 PM  

spazzhappy: For years and years I felt something in my right ear. I would tap it with pencils, scrape it with paperclips, etc.. but could never get it out. In middleschool, on one of those doctor school-visits, I asked about it and after a quick look he told me it was simply dried earwax and to try using a moistened q-tip. Didn't work.

Fast forward to first year of college. Everyone sitting around taking a test, with me once again playing with a mechanical pencil in my ear when I feel something shift. I had never been so excited in my life. I stopped everything and carefully navigated the end of the pencil around the object, slowly rolling it out step by step. After a few minutes, a sudden slipping feeling came and something fell onto the floor. Anxiously, I picked it up and examined it.

It was a big, hard ball of wax.

But then, while playing with it (which I of course was going to do after 10+ years of mystery) some wax flaked off and it was different underneath. I quickly stripped it of all the wax that had accumulated over the past decade.

It was a farking cherry pit.

I had a farking cherry pit in my ear for most of my childhood and didn't realize it. Doctors never noticed it. My parents never noticed it. Lord knows I don't remember putting it in there so I don't even know how it got in there.

my balance and hearing in that ear was a bit off for the next few days, but returned to normal. Some days I miss that little mystery in my life.


I remember you telling that story a few years ago. Wondered if you'd show up in this thread....

I had a wad of Mack's wax ear plugs in my ear as a kid. Doc had to flush it out with water.

/can you hear me now?
 
2012-08-07 09:43:11 PM  
media.avclub.com

No President Eisenhower marshmallow yet? Fark, I am disappoint.
 
2012-08-07 09:51:44 PM  
One of our oldest family stories:
My brother and I and our cousin were in the bathroom having a contest to see who could stick a bean up their penis. I wasn't old enough to have the dexterity to seriously compete. My brother won and he had to run out screaming "Mom! I got a bean stuck in my penis." Mom had to get off the phone and fix his penis.
 
2012-08-08 06:16:16 AM  
The kid was probably influenced by an old Cheech and Chong album.
 
2012-08-08 06:18:56 AM  
And here it is...
Link
 
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