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Pole dancing in the 2016 Olympics, strong swimmers from the Trojan Swim Club, and Gabby Douglas' authentic frontier gibberish: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/29 - 8/4
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-08-06 6:46:46 PM (6 comments) | Permalink

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4185 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2012 at 7:48 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



New week, new headlines. Enjoy

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-07-29 to Sat 2012-08-04:

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  10-year-old girl accused of starting house fire because she was angry at her mother. I think we all know what she looks like    
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  Pennsylvania man kills another with a pair of scissors. The deceased was found with paper, no rocks    
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  Army eradicates wasps with flamethrowers. I guess Cape Cod won't be so crowded this summer    
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  Man wanted for stealing beer and cigarettes found sitting in lawn chair while drinking beer and smoking cigarette. Unclear if he owned chair    
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  Welcome to our POOL. Notice there is no 'R' V' in... oh, damn    
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  Mexico has a major drug problem. Also a general drug problem, and a lieutenant colonel drug problem    
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  Penguins get shark roommates at California aquarium. Sharks get dinner guests    
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  Businessman who only likes watching the first half of movies aims to create a real-life Jurassic Park right after he funds a full scale replica of the Titanic    
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  Another megachurch pastor goes down, this time on a teenage girl    
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  First opera about the war in Iraq now being performed. Critics say it costs too much, lasts too long and at the end there is no way to get out of the theater    
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  Six-year-old boy flying with father pulls landing gear lever just as plane touches down, retracting landing gear and putting plane on its belly. I'M HELPING    
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Sports:

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  US swimmer hailing from the Trojan Swim Club takes the gold. Apparently the club is used to fielding strong swimmers    
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  Pole dancers want to be a part of the 2016 Olympics. Officials told a ticket would only require a small cover charge and two drink minimum    
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  Gabby Douglas wins the all-around gymnastics gold medal on the strength of a stunning vault, flawless balance beam, and authentic frontier gibberish    
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Geek:

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  Why do men stare at women? Here's the entire story in two parts    
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  Dolphins are highly cultured. [Cetacean needed]    
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  Google buys Mark Zuckerberg's sister. The battle for internet supremacy has moved to another level    
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Entertainment:

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  You can't label my 'fluid' sexuality, says X Files star Gillian Anderson. Really? Because redheaded, hot, lesbian, nerdy, MILF works for me    
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  Arnold Schwarzenegger turns 65, celebrates by hiring a housekeeper to actually clean his house    
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  Stevie Wonder files for divorce, even though he isn't seeing someone else    
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Politics:

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  Tea Party says Romney better step to the right. Pundits, however, believe it will be the pelvic thrust that will drive voters insane    
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  Jenna Jameson endorses Mitt Romney for President, further cementing her reputation as someone who enjoys getting f*cked    
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  In response to new unemployment data, Romney promises 12 million new jobs in four years. Should break down to approximately 6 million for India, 6 million for China    
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Business:

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  Roper buys Sunquest for $1.4 billion, promises not to raise the rent on Jack, Chrissy and Janet    
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  Car industry warns that Obamafuel regulations will make cars unaffordable and destroy America. Much in the same way that safety glass, seatbelt, airbag, and crumple zone regulations have done in the past    
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  "A sleek Gulfstream 5 - a symbol of success known among owners simply as a G5 - can now be had for as little as $20 million." You submitted this while eating leftover instant ramen    
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· · ·

6 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2012-08-06 07:50:17 PM  
"Yes, yes, no, some yes over there, and a no, no, no, and yo." ;)
 
2012-08-06 08:00:57 PM  
Immediately thought HOY candidate when I first read the Time Warp one.
 
2012-08-06 09:24:18 PM  

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/haters gon' hate.gif
 
2012-08-06 09:26:18 PM  

Indubitably: "Yes, yes, no, some yes over there, and a no, no, no, and yo." ;)


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2012-08-06 09:58:28 PM  

Stile4aly: Indubitably: "Yes, yes, no, some yes over there, and a no, no, no, and yo." ;)

[www.dvdtalk.com image 400x225]


I love her.
 
2012-08-07 09:14:41 AM  

Indubitably: Stile4aly: Indubitably: "Yes, yes, no, some yes over there, and a no, no, no, and yo." ;)

[www.dvdtalk.com image 400x225]

I love her.


The servant watis... while the master baits.
 
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