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(Click On Detroit)   How thorough is the US Anti-doping Agency? Athletes are required to provide a detailed list of where they'll be every hour of the day, 3 months in advance   (clickondetroit.com ) divider line 32
    More: Interesting, drug tests, Ryan Lochte, athlete of the year  
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1153 clicks; posted to Sports » on 06 Aug 2012 at 9:07 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-06 08:35:24 PM  
It's a trick, they're just trying to see who'll write down 9PM: drug dealer.
 
2012-08-06 09:24:31 PM  
When athletes are providing the sample, they are required to roll up their sleeves up to their elbows and disrobe from their bellybutton to their knees in front of the official

I'll volunteer to do the females for free.
 
2012-08-06 09:29:02 PM  
Phelps has been drug tested 64 times since 2008 so we know he doesn't use any illegal substances.
 
2012-08-06 09:30:45 PM  
Shiat like this is why I would never consider becoming an athlete.
That, and a club foot.
 
2012-08-06 09:39:48 PM  
VADA > WADA > USADA
 
2012-08-06 09:59:05 PM  
Yeah, because it is impossible to dope during the times you aren't being tested
 
2012-08-06 10:03:29 PM  
How do they recruit testers? I mean, who would want that job?
 
2012-08-06 10:05:17 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: How do they recruit testers? I mean, who would want that job?


I'm sure there are plenty of pervs willing to get paid to stare at the naughty bits of world class athletes.
 
2012-08-06 10:07:02 PM  
11/8/2012 10:07 am - zombocom will be on the can taking a number 2. samples available if required.
11/8/2012 10:19 am - after perusing fark on mobile for a sufficient amount of time, and feeling as if coworkers might start to wonder where zombocom is, i wipe and return to mind numbing menial job.
 
2012-08-06 10:08:31 PM  
They have a lot to make up for.

Used to be that when you tested positive they'd just cover it up, at least if you were a top US Track Athlete. A little think like Carl Lewis testing positive three times during the same Olympic Trials wasn't something they thought worth reporting, and he was only one of nineteen US track athletes who competed and medaled after failing their drug test.
 
2012-08-06 10:12:46 PM  

consider this: JohnAnnArbor: How do they recruit testers? I mean, who would want that job?

I'm sure there are plenty of pervs willing to get paid to stare at the naughty bits of world class athletes.


If I'm an athlete, I'd want those types weeded out. Just sayin'.
 
2012-08-06 11:10:37 PM  
Cyclists have been going through this for years. If you miss a test or fark up your schedule you get a black mark. Three (I think) black marks counts as a positive test. The riders refer to the testers as 'Vampires' since they collect more than just pee.

No thanks.
 
2012-08-06 11:27:57 PM  

Yeah Whatever: Cyclists have been going through this for years. If you miss a test or fark up your schedule you get a black mark. Three (I think) black marks counts as a positive test. The riders refer to the testers as 'Vampires' since they collect more than just pee.

No thanks.


img.gawkerassets.com

JEAH Whatever

bro
 
2012-08-06 11:52:48 PM  
Ok, but some of those girls are really young...so who is the lucky guy who will be having a seat over there.
 
2012-08-07 12:10:17 AM  

there their theyre: Ok, but some of those girls are really young...so who is the lucky guy who will be having a seat over there.


I feel confident that both male and female agents exist, and that there is a general rule that a person of the same sex will observe the sample collection, or that such a thing can be requested, at the very least.
 
2012-08-07 12:18:36 AM  

kevinatilusa: They have a lot to make up for.

Used to be that when you tested positive they'd just cover it up, at least if you were a top US Track Athlete. A little think like Carl Lewis testing positive three times during the same Olympic Trials wasn't something they thought worth reporting, and he was only one of nineteen US track athletes who competed and medaled after failing their drug test.


I was curious if you knew what you were talking about, so I clicked the links.

Ctrl-F "Wade Exum"

Yup.
 
2012-08-07 12:20:53 AM  
Anyhow, this is *oldnewsissoexciting.jpg*. They have been doing this for as long as I can remember, since before USADA even existed.
 
2012-08-07 12:37:16 AM  

kevinatilusa: They have a lot to make up for.

Used to be that when you tested positive they'd just cover it up, at least if you were a top US Track Athlete. A little think like Carl Lewis testing positive three times during the same Olympic Trials wasn't something they thought worth reporting, and he was only one of nineteen US track athletes who competed and medaled after failing their drug test.


On the other hand, Michael Rasmussen was pulled from the 2007 Tour de France, while in the yellow jersey, not because of any positive drug test, but because he had failed to inform doping control agents of where he was going to be three months earlier.
 
2012-08-07 01:25:51 AM  
As someone that drug tested NCAA athletes - I can attest to these testing methods. I've seen more penises that I'd like to admit...
 
2012-08-07 01:58:33 AM  
Athletes are required to provide a detailed list of where they'll be every hour of the day, 3 months in advance

This is completely false. Way to blow simple reading comprehension subby.

they must provide a 60-minute time frame and exact location for every single day.

That means they have to provide a location for ONE hour of each day.

Not "every hour of the day"
 
2012-08-07 03:13:18 AM  

consider this: When athletes are providing the sample, they are required to roll up their sleeves up to their elbows and disrobe from their bellybutton to their knees in front of the official

I'll volunteer to do the females for free.


Ok. ;)
www.fitzness.com
 
2012-08-07 04:58:59 AM  

SpaceBison: consider this: When athletes are providing the sample, they are required to roll up their sleeves up to their elbows and disrobe from their bellybutton to their knees in front of the official

I'll volunteer to do the females for free.

Ok. ;)
[www.fitzness.com image 300x300]


How the fark can you get a urine sample from her? Bellybutton to her knees is going to be completely covered by her fupa. You'd have to bring in the other weightlifters just to get her into position.
 
2012-08-07 05:56:08 AM  
U.S. beach volleyball player Jake Gibbs tested positive for a banned hormone, but after further investigation, it turns out the hormone was elevated because he had testicular cancer, which is now being treated.

Yikes.
 
2012-08-07 06:29:14 AM  

machoprogrammer: Yeah, because it is impossible to dope during the times you aren't being tested


Ever noticed how hardly any world records are now broken? How women's world records in athletics have an average age of 21 years?

Anti-doping is working. The way it worked in the past was that you doped up during training, then a time before a major event, you eased off and passed the tests.

Personally, I think it's also killing athletics. Athletics isn't particularly exciting, but to see a man go faster, or to throw further than man has ever gone before is historic. The organisers of athletics meets pay more for breaking a world record than just winning, because they know it will make the news.

I'd love to see a commercial games. No peace and love bullshiat, paid competitors, wearing whatever sponsor's gear they want, running for themselves, rather than a country, and allow doping.
 
2012-08-07 06:35:13 AM  
Best athletes in the world, eh?


And you have to treat them like 9 year olds?


Seems to me you may not have the best athletes in the world if you have to monitor their behavior as such.
 
2012-08-07 08:46:02 AM  

Uzzah: kevinatilusa: They have a lot to make up for.

Used to be that when you tested positive they'd just cover it up, at least if you were a top US Track Athlete. A little think like Carl Lewis testing positive three times during the same Olympic Trials wasn't something they thought worth reporting, and he was only one of nineteen US track athletes who competed and medaled after failing their drug test.

On the other hand, Michael Rasmussen was pulled from the 2007 Tour de France, while in the yellow jersey, not because of any positive drug test, but because he had failed to inform doping control agents of where he was going to be three months earlier.


Not USDA
 
2012-08-07 09:19:24 AM  

CommiePuddin: there their theyre: Ok, but some of those girls are really young...so who is the lucky guy who will be having a seat over there.

I feel confident that both male and female agents exist, and that there is a general rule that a person of the same sex will observe the sample collection, or that such a thing can be requested, at the very least.


msnbcmedia.msn.com

:Damn, I should have said that we were drug-testing!"
 
2012-08-07 09:26:13 AM  
The cure is much worse than the disease.
 
2012-08-07 10:27:22 AM  

thisiszombocom: 11/8/2012 10:07 am - zombocom will be on the can taking a number 2. samples available if required


Damn...you're so awesome that you know exactly when you'll be taking a dump 3 months from now? :-)
 
2012-08-07 11:14:50 AM  
And yet Usain Bolt can have a known steroid dealer as a strength and conditioning coach.
 
2012-08-07 04:46:40 PM  

Christian Bale: Athletes are required to provide a detailed list of where they'll be every hour of the day, 3 months in advance

This is completely false. Way to blow simple reading comprehension subby.

they must provide a 60-minute time frame and exact location for every single day.

That means they have to provide a location for ONE hour of each day.

Not "every hour of the day"


QFT. Also, there's nothing unique to USADA about this. its pretty much the standard WADA out-of-competition testing protocol.
 
2012-08-07 05:41:08 PM  

farkeruk: I'd love to see a commercial games. No peace and love bullshiat, paid competitors, wearing whatever sponsor's gear they want, running for themselves, rather than a country, and allow doping.


Interesting idea but the moment you allow widespread doping you will end up with some one dying on the track and the early death rate would make pro wrestling look good.
 
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