FARK.com: (7253954) How thorough is the US Anti-doping Agency? Athletes are required to provide a detailed list of where they'll be every hour of the day, 3 months in advance

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		How thorough is the US Anti-doping Agency? Athletes are required to provide a detailed list of where they'll be every hour of the day, 3 months in advance (clickondetroit.com)		32
		More: Interesting, drug tests, Ryan Lochte, athlete of the year

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1133 clicks; posted to Sports » on 06 Aug 2012 at 9:07 PM | Favorite | share:

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beantowndog		2012-08-06 08:35:24 PM

It's a trick, they're just trying to see who'll write down 9PM: drug dealer.

consider this		2012-08-06 09:24:31 PM

When athletes are providing the sample, they are required to roll up their sleeves up to their elbows and disrobe from their bellybutton to their knees in front of the official

I'll volunteer to do the females for free.

consider this		2012-08-06 09:29:02 PM

Phelps has been drug tested 64 times since 2008 so we know he doesn't use any illegal substances.

Mr. Potatoass		2012-08-06 09:30:45 PM

Shiat like this is why I would never consider becoming an athlete.
That, and a club foot.

the biggest redneck here		2012-08-06 09:39:48 PM

VADA > WADA > USADA

machoprogrammer		2012-08-06 09:59:05 PM

Yeah, because it is impossible to dope during the times you aren't being tested

JohnAnnArbor		2012-08-06 10:03:29 PM

How do they recruit testers? I mean, who would want that job?

consider this		2012-08-06 10:05:17 PM

JohnAnnArbor: How do they recruit testers? I mean, who would want that job?

I'm sure there are plenty of pervs willing to get paid to stare at the naughty bits of world class athletes.

thisiszombocom		2012-08-06 10:07:02 PM

11/8/2012 10:07 am - zombocom will be on the can taking a number 2. samples available if required.
11/8/2012 10:19 am - after perusing fark on mobile for a sufficient amount of time, and feeling as if coworkers might start to wonder where zombocom is, i wipe and return to mind numbing menial job.

kevinatilusa		2012-08-06 10:08:31 PM

They have a lot to make up for.

Used to be that when you tested positive they'd just cover it up, at least if you were a top US Track Athlete. A little think like Carl Lewis testing positive three times during the same Olympic Trials wasn't something they thought worth reporting, and he was only one of nineteen US track athletes who competed and medaled after failing their drug test.

JohnAnnArbor		2012-08-06 10:12:46 PM

consider this: JohnAnnArbor: How do they recruit testers? I mean, who would want that job?

I'm sure there are plenty of pervs willing to get paid to stare at the naughty bits of world class athletes.

If I'm an athlete, I'd want those types weeded out. Just sayin'.

Yeah Whatever		2012-08-06 11:10:37 PM

Cyclists have been going through this for years. If you miss a test or fark up your schedule you get a black mark. Three (I think) black marks counts as a positive test. The riders refer to the testers as 'Vampires' since they collect more than just pee.

No thanks.

thisiszombocom		2012-08-06 11:27:57 PM

Yeah Whatever: Cyclists have been going through this for years. If you miss a test or fark up your schedule you get a black mark. Three (I think) black marks counts as a positive test. The riders refer to the testers as 'Vampires' since they collect more than just pee.

No thanks.

img.gawkerassets.com

JEAH Whatever bro

there their theyre		2012-08-06 11:52:48 PM

Ok, but some of those girls are really young...so who is the lucky guy who will be having a seat over there.

CommiePuddin		2012-08-07 12:10:17 AM

there their theyre: Ok, but some of those girls are really young...so who is the lucky guy who will be having a seat over there.

I feel confident that both male and female agents exist, and that there is a general rule that a person of the same sex will observe the sample collection, or that such a thing can be requested, at the very least.

The Smails Kid		2012-08-07 12:18:36 AM

kevinatilusa: They have a lot to make up for.

Used to be that when you tested positive they'd just cover it up, at least if you were a top US Track Athlete. A little think like Carl Lewis testing positive three times during the same Olympic Trials wasn't something they thought worth reporting, and he was only one of nineteen US track athletes who competed and medaled after failing their drug test.

I was curious if you knew what you were talking about, so I clicked the links.

Ctrl-F "Wade Exum"

Yup.

The Smails Kid		2012-08-07 12:20:53 AM

Anyhow, this is *oldnewsissoexciting.jpg*. They have been doing this for as long as I can remember, since before USADA even existed.

Uzzah		2012-08-07 12:37:16 AM

kevinatilusa: They have a lot to make up for.

Used to be that when you tested positive they'd just cover it up, at least if you were a top US Track Athlete. A little think like Carl Lewis testing positive three times during the same Olympic Trials wasn't something they thought worth reporting, and he was only one of nineteen US track athletes who competed and medaled after failing their drug test.

On the other hand, Michael Rasmussen was pulled from the 2007 Tour de France, while in the yellow jersey, not because of any positive drug test, but because he had failed to inform doping control agents of where he was going to be three months earlier.

goinkhead		2012-08-07 01:25:51 AM

As someone that drug tested NCAA athletes - I can attest to these testing methods. I've seen more penises that I'd like to admit...

Christian Bale		2012-08-07 01:58:33 AM

Athletes are required to provide a detailed list of where they'll be every hour of the day, 3 months in advance

This is completely false. Way to blow simple reading comprehension subby.

they must provide a 60-minute time frame and exact location for every single day.

That means they have to provide a location for ONE hour of each day.

Not "every hour of the day"

SpaceBison		2012-08-07 03:13:18 AM

consider this: When athletes are providing the sample, they are required to roll up their sleeves up to their elbows and disrobe from their bellybutton to their knees in front of the official

I'll volunteer to do the females for free.

Ok. ;)
www.fitzness.com

Candygram for Mongo		2012-08-07 04:58:59 AM

SpaceBison: consider this: When athletes are providing the sample, they are required to roll up their sleeves up to their elbows and disrobe from their bellybutton to their knees in front of the official

I'll volunteer to do the females for free.

Ok. ;)
[www.fitzness.com image 300x300]

How the fark can you get a urine sample from her? Bellybutton to her knees is going to be completely covered by her fupa. You'd have to bring in the other weightlifters just to get her into position.

Cybernetic		2012-08-07 05:56:08 AM

U.S. beach volleyball player Jake Gibbs tested positive for a banned hormone, but after further investigation, it turns out the hormone was elevated because he had testicular cancer, which is now being treated.

Yikes.

farkeruk		2012-08-07 06:29:14 AM

machoprogrammer: Yeah, because it is impossible to dope during the times you aren't being tested

Ever noticed how hardly any world records are now broken? How women's world records in athletics have an average age of 21 years?

Anti-doping is working. The way it worked in the past was that you doped up during training, then a time before a major event, you eased off and passed the tests.

Personally, I think it's also killing athletics. Athletics isn't particularly exciting, but to see a man go faster, or to throw further than man has ever gone before is historic. The organisers of athletics meets pay more for breaking a world record than just winning, because they know it will make the news.

I'd love to see a commercial games. No peace and love bullshiat, paid competitors, wearing whatever sponsor's gear they want, running for themselves, rather than a country, and allow doping.

Alphakronik		2012-08-07 06:35:13 AM

Best athletes in the world, eh?

And you have to treat them like 9 year olds?

Seems to me you may not have the best athletes in the world if you have to monitor their behavior as such.

TeamEd		2012-08-07 08:46:02 AM

Uzzah: kevinatilusa: They have a lot to make up for.

Used to be that when you tested positive they'd just cover it up, at least if you were a top US Track Athlete. A little think like Carl Lewis testing positive three times during the same Olympic Trials wasn't something they thought worth reporting, and he was only one of nineteen US track athletes who competed and medaled after failing their drug test.

On the other hand, Michael Rasmussen was pulled from the 2007 Tour de France, while in the yellow jersey, not because of any positive drug test, but because he had failed to inform doping control agents of where he was going to be three months earlier.

Not USDA

OtherLittleGuy		2012-08-07 09:19:24 AM

CommiePuddin: there their theyre: Ok, but some of those girls are really young...so who is the lucky guy who will be having a seat over there.

I feel confident that both male and female agents exist, and that there is a general rule that a person of the same sex will observe the sample collection, or that such a thing can be requested, at the very least.

msnbcmedia.msn.com

:Damn, I should have said that we were drug-testing!"

Marcus Aurelius		2012-08-07 09:26:13 AM

The cure is much worse than the disease.

gretzkyscores		2012-08-07 10:27:22 AM

thisiszombocom: 11/8/2012 10:07 am - zombocom will be on the can taking a number 2. samples available if required

Damn...you're so awesome that you know exactly when you'll be taking a dump 3 months from now? :-)

Chunks McGunks		2012-08-07 11:14:50 AM

And yet Usain Bolt can have a known steroid dealer as a strength and conditioning coach.

gwowen		2012-08-07 04:46:40 PM

Christian Bale: Athletes are required to provide a detailed list of where they'll be every hour of the day, 3 months in advance

This is completely false. Way to blow simple reading comprehension subby.

they must provide a 60-minute time frame and exact location for every single day.

That means they have to provide a location for ONE hour of each day.

Not "every hour of the day"

QFT. Also, there's nothing unique to USADA about this. its pretty much the standard WADA out-of-competition testing protocol.

Norfolking Chance		2012-08-07 05:41:08 PM

farkeruk: I'd love to see a commercial games. No peace and love bullshiat, paid competitors, wearing whatever sponsor's gear they want, running for themselves, rather than a country, and allow doping.

Interesting idea but the moment you allow widespread doping you will end up with some one dying on the track and the early death rate would make pro wrestling look good.

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