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(Paste Magazine)   The ten worst videogame-inspired movies of the past ten years   (pastemagazine.com) divider line 152
    More: Fail, day one, New Girl, Ryan Gosling  
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13013 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Aug 2012 at 3:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-06 04:45:10 PM  
Silent Hill is a good creepy movie. Is Far Cry on the list?
(goes to read article)
 
2012-08-06 04:46:25 PM  

Lumbar Puncture: Happy Hours: What disturbs me most is that there are actually 10 movies inspired by videogames.

Think of all the remakes the creatively bankrupt hollywood could've made instead!


I'd rather not. I just saw The Thing - 3rd version. I actually enjoyed most of it, but I was just wondering why remake that movie?

I know why - people will watch it and I am just as much to blame by doing so but couldn't they come up with a new story? Apparently not. At least they're recycling.
 
2012-08-06 04:46:58 PM  

Happy Hours: Lumbar Puncture: Happy Hours: What disturbs me most is that there are actually 10 movies inspired by videogames.

Think of all the remakes the creatively bankrupt hollywood could've made instead!

I'd rather not. I just saw The Thing - 3rd version. I actually enjoyed most of it, but I was just wondering why remake that movie?

I know why - people will watch it and I am just as much to blame by doing so but couldn't they come up with a new story? Apparently not. At least they're recycling.


It's not a remake, it's a prequel.
 
2012-08-06 04:47:42 PM  

tgambitg: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time.... They made a movie about a video game.. Then they made a video game based on the movie.... at which point the universe almost divided by zero... but was saved by the fact that the movie and game both sucked ass.


Ahh, but Prince of Persia made me aware of Gemma Arterton, for which I will always be grateful.
www.thesnipenews.com
 
2012-08-06 04:49:45 PM  

Zombie Eater: -Silent Hill had the visuals, but it was a terrible mishmash in the story department.

-Prince of Persia may not have been a great tie-in, it wasn't a terrible movie. Still, casting fail.

-I'm avoiding Max Payne. I loved the first two games (haven't played 3...kinda hating the shift from noir), and Marky Mark ain't Max. If anyone should've played him, it should've been Dean Winters.

-I still dig the first RE. It's as cheesy as the first game. Not great, but compared to each new installment, it's an okay B-movie.

-Doom lost me with the missing Hell angle, the shiatty extra chromosome crap, and the brawl at the end. As long as I don't think of it as Doom, I can sit down and watch it if I've had enough beer and there's nothing else to watch.

-Street Fighter...no. I laughed my ass off at the Van Damme, wasn't up for another Hollywood abortion. Stick to the animated stuff (Animated Movie, SF2: V...skip Alpha and the US crap).

-DOA...nooope. Terrible casting, stupid story.

-Alone in the Dark...never played the games, but from what I've read about them, the movie had little if anything to do with them. I caught like fifteen minutes of the film and changed the channel.

-House of the Dead was the only movie I've ever rented where I stopped it after thirty mintues, went back to the video store, and returned it. It was terrible.

-Bloodrayne is one of those movies that you can tell is going to suck without having to watch it. Haven't bothered, not going to.

Honorable mention should go to King of Fighters.


Aww then you missed the zombie tongue scene. Besides House of the Dead II: Dead Aim was worse.
 
2012-08-06 04:49:58 PM  

Happy Hours: I'd rather not. I just saw The Thing - 3rd version. I actually enjoyed most of it, but I was just wondering why remake that movie?


The Thing (2011) is actually not a remake, but a prequel to John Carpenter's. The last few minutes of the new one (I think it's the last 10 minutes, might have been in the credits) tie in perfectly to the first few minutes of JC's.
 
2012-08-06 04:50:43 PM  

Zombie Eater: -DOA...nooope. Terrible casting, stupid story.



Ok, the story is the story. It's based off the game and what do you expect from a Street Fighter clone?!

But the casting? Who on earth could have saved that story?! What master of stage and screen could save that?! Name them!!!

Roberts was a perfect case and the ladies were smoking hot! What else could you want for casting?

img641.imageshack.us
What more could want?!
 
2012-08-06 05:02:57 PM  

Strategeryz0r: It's not a remake, it's a prequel.


Yeah, I know that's what the text on the box said but it's probably been at least 20 years since I saw the John Carpenter version and maybe I don't remember enough about it but it seemed like a remake to me.

They're stuck in Antarctica and there's some sort of creepy alien thing going after them.

They didn't even come up with a new name - they recycled the old one. It's The Thing. I'm not sure what you would call a prequel to that. Pre-Thing? The Thing Before the Thing? But come on.......I'll probably download the John Carpenter version here soon so maybe I'll notice the difference - other than Kurt Russel wasn't in it.
 
2012-08-06 05:03:55 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Zombie Eater: -DOA...nooope. Terrible casting, stupid story.


Ok, the story is the story. It's based off the game and what do you expect from a Street Fighter clone?!

But the casting? Who on earth could have saved that story?! What master of stage and screen could save that?! Name them!!!

Roberts was a perfect case and the ladies were smoking hot! What else could you want for casting?

[img641.imageshack.us image 640x427]
What more could want?!


Street Fighter clone? You're kidding, right? Doesn't play a thing like it, and it's more about big, bouncing boobs. They missed the point completely.
 
2012-08-06 05:04:28 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: FishyFred: The My Little Pony Killer: They had the decency to leave off the Super Mario Bros movie, but to include every Resident Evil movie except the first one? List fail.

Last ten years only.

Okay, that explains SMB, but RE was 2002. The fail stands.


It's 2012 dude.
 
2012-08-06 05:05:08 PM  
Silent Hill wasn't that bad of a movie.
 
2012-08-06 05:05:51 PM  
No RE movie lived up to the first, but the rest were fun, and not classifiable as awful.
 
2012-08-06 05:12:04 PM  

Zombie Eater: Street Fighter clone? You're kidding, right? Doesn't play a thing like it, and it's more about big, bouncing boobs. They missed the point completely.


Oh no you don't! Don't try to change the subject on me!

What casting would have saved this!

I'll wait here..

img526.imageshack.us
 
2012-08-06 05:12:14 PM  

Joshudan: Torn: Legacy should be on the list as it is a bad movie based on a bad game based on a bad movie, which is kinda unique.

Or maybe that is why it isn't on the list. I got distracted after DOA.

Oh and...no Hitman?


You never played Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game, did you?
 
2012-08-06 05:12:19 PM  

toraque: No Dungeon Siege: In the Name of the King?


I really hate you for making me remember this abomination.
 
2012-08-06 05:12:38 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: 10. Silent Hill (2006)

I actually like that movie. But I was young.

And who didn't love DOA??

[img689.imageshack.us image 850x638]
[img838.imageshack.us image 550x675]
[img819.imageshack.us image 500x333]

my lord!!


Is she in Falling Skies now?

/yes I watch that show
//Shuttup
 
2012-08-06 05:13:50 PM  

Joshudan: Torn: Legacy should be on the list as it is a bad movie based on a bad game based on a bad movie, which is kinda unique.

Or maybe that is why it isn't on the list. I got distracted after DOA.

Oh and...no Hitman?


Man, I farking loved Trim:Legacy. Never played the game though.
 
2012-08-06 05:15:46 PM  

lousyskater: toraque: No Dungeon Siege: In the Name of the King?

I really hate you for making me remember this abomination.


Hey now...it had one redeeming quality

l.yimg.com
 
2012-08-06 05:22:26 PM  

Happy Hours: Strategeryz0r: It's not a remake, it's a prequel.

Yeah, I know that's what the text on the box said but it's probably been at least 20 years since I saw the John Carpenter version and maybe I don't remember enough about it but it seemed like a remake to me.

They're stuck in Antarctica and there's some sort of creepy alien thing going after them.

They didn't even come up with a new name - they recycled the old one. It's The Thing. I'm not sure what you would call a prequel to that. Pre-Thing? The Thing Before the Thing? But come on.......I'll probably download the John Carpenter version here soon so maybe I'll notice the difference - other than Kurt Russel wasn't in it.


The new one focuses on the Swiss outpost that initially found the alien object under the ice.

In fact it ends with them chasing the dog in the helicopter(the first scene of the Carpenter version).

It's hard to not have the prequel seem like a remake when they're both set in Antarctica. But I thought the way they tied the two of them together was pretty cool. Even if they did change a few things.
 
2012-08-06 05:25:14 PM  

lousyskater: toraque: No Dungeon Siege: In the Name of the King?

I really hate you for making me remember this abomination.


If it makes you feel any better, I liked Dungeon Siege the game so much that I ended up working for the company that made it, and then got to see the movie that got made out of it.

Cue deep sigh.
 
2012-08-06 05:25:36 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Hey now...it had one redeeming quality


I think that you forgot that Claire Forlani was in that movie.....


I liked that movie, Ray Liotta's leather trench coat was my only problem with that movie. I mean that was bad! Whoever ran wardrobe on that movie should be taken out and shot! What Ren-Fair reject did you get that off of?! Argh!! Find them and kill them!!
 
2012-08-06 05:26:26 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: What more could want?!


Video Game based movies?

media.comicvine.com

Wipe them out. ALL of them.
 
2012-08-06 05:28:17 PM  
Tara Reid playing a genius scientist in "Alone in the Dark" was the worst casting in all of history. IN ALL OF HISTORY. Hearing her regurgitate words that clearly meant nothing to her was just painful. She might as well have been speaking Greek by rote.
 
2012-08-06 05:30:27 PM  

Fish in a Barrel: Tara Reid playing a genius scientist in "Alone in the Dark" was the worst casting in all of history. IN ALL OF HISTORY. Hearing her regurgitate words that clearly meant nothing to her was just painful. She might as well have been speaking Greek by rote.


Doesn't sound much worse than Denise Richards as a nuclear scientist with a character name that was chosen for the sake of a single joke at the end of the film.
 
2012-08-06 05:32:04 PM  
HOUSE OF THE DEAD is awesome!
Only because of Ona Grauer.
 
2012-08-06 05:34:06 PM  
Goddamn is that Bloodrayne trailer horrible. Just farking horrible.

And seriously Ben Kingsley, WTF man? Few actors can go from simply amazing movies (Gandhi, Schindler's List) to pure dreck (Bloodrayne, Prince of Persia) like he can.
 
2012-08-06 05:34:22 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: And who didn't love DOA??


It was silly fun with bewbs. It was very campy and it was meant to be that way...which is why it was fun.
 
2012-08-06 05:34:29 PM  
To heck with all the neigh sayers. Of the ones that I have seen, I enjoyed them all. Why yes I love b movies, why do you ask.

I need to check out DOA. Netflix?
 
2012-08-06 05:37:01 PM  

Zombie DJ: HOUSE OF THE DEAD is awesome!
Only because of Ona Grauer.


I thought you were going to say it was because it's got a topless Erica Durance before her giant bolt-on implants.
 
2012-08-06 05:37:14 PM  
I can't find it now, but I swear there was a House of the Dead trailer featuring the DMX composition "Party Up." It was the best thing I ever seen.
 
2012-08-06 05:39:32 PM  
I honestly believe that Super Mario Bros. is an underrated classic that will one day be properly appreciated. That time hasn't come yet, but it will. Oh yes, it will.

What the hell did people want from a SMB live-action movie anyway? It was never gonna translate perfectly from game-to-film! I loved the weird pseudo-cyberpunk aesthetic, Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo had chemistry, Samantha Mathis was hot, and Dennis Hopper chewed the scenery like no other. Plus, it had the bonus of featuring Lance Henriksen as an ever-present fungus that grew all over the city. It's not great by traditional standards, but it's fun and completely unique.

Now where's the damn blu-ray release?
 
2012-08-06 05:48:56 PM  

FishyFred: Max Payne kicked ass. Yeah, it was in an over-the-top-action kind of way, but STILL.


Mila Kunis and Ludacris were entirely inappropriate for the roles in which they are cast.

I am undecided regarding Mark Whalberg.
 
2012-08-06 05:51:31 PM  

Strategeryz0r: The new one focuses on the Swiss outpost that initially found the alien object under the ice.

In fact it ends with them chasing the dog in the helicopter(the first scene of the Carpenter version).

It's hard to not have the prequel seem like a remake when they're both set in Antarctica. But I thought the way they tied the two of them together was pretty cool. Even if they did change a few things.


Okay- that kind of jogs my memory a little.It's been decades since I saw the '82 version and it seems like ages until the download finishes

Shooting the dog at the end just seemed cruel, but maybe that was part of the point. The Thing is so evil that you may even have to kill man's best friend.
 
2012-08-06 05:51:45 PM  

Dimensio: Mila Kunis and Ludacris were entirely inappropriate for the roles in which they are cast.


Mila Kunis is never an inappropriate casting
 
2012-08-06 05:55:52 PM  
The only thing really wrong about the Silent Hill movie was they made the cult Christians.

/It is one of the few movies where Sean Bean doesn't die.
//Will he survive #2? I'm guessing not.
 
2012-08-06 05:58:29 PM  

ZombieApocalypseKitten: I must be the only person on the planet that liked DOOM. Yes, it was a predictable popcorn flick. But as a geeky chick, I really appreciated that he wasn't going back for his girlfriend. He was going back for his sister.

/Ok, most of my love is for Karl Urban


Actually I kinda liked it, too. And I agree Karl Urban is awesome. It's weird to watch him in The Bourne Supremacy after seeing Star Trek. It's almost like two completely different people.
 
2012-08-06 05:58:52 PM  
Silent Hill is fine! It only really falls apart in the last 10 minutes where the movie practically declares "You've unlocked the best ending!"

And I'm not sure DoA belongs there either. I mean, yeah, it's 10 kinds of dumb in a 5 item list, but look at the source...frankly it might be the MOST faithful videogame movie ever. Except for Kevin Nash playing Hulk Hogan, that's just...odd.
 
2012-08-06 06:02:47 PM  

Joshudan: Oh and...no Hitman?


I thought Hitman was OK. It ain't Citizen Kane Vertigo, but by video game movie standards, it's pretty good.

The only one I really like is Street Fighter, and 99% of that is Raul Julia, who did it to make his kids happy and so turned in a good performance.
 
2012-08-06 06:13:04 PM  

Joshudan: Torn: Legacy should be on the list as it is a bad movie based on a bad game based on a bad movie, which is kinda unique.


Since I have never seen Torn, I will have to take your word for it...

Now, Tron, was, is, and will always be awesome...
 
2012-08-06 06:13:59 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: The only thing really wrong about the Silent Hill movie was they made the cult Christians.

/It is one of the few movies where Sean Bean doesn't die.
//Will he survive #2? I'm guessing not.


Whats wrong with making the cult christians? Growing up in Appalachia with kids who went to "youth groups" made that movie much more realistically horrifying to me.

/Yes I've visited Centralia
//no, not really that creepy
 
2012-08-06 06:22:47 PM  

farkeruk: Joshudan: Oh and...no Hitman?

I thought Hitman was OK. It ain't Citizen Kane Vertigo, but by video game movie standards, it's pretty good.

The only one I really like is Street Fighter, and 99% of that is Raul Julia, who did it to make his kids happy and so turned in a good performance.


Farkin' a, man. This line makes the movie tolerable when it shows up on free TV:

For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
 
2012-08-06 06:28:12 PM  
FTA: "When compiling this list, it was sheer accident to have three Uwe Boll movies round out the finals, but the man has really earned it. BloodRayne is a film so difficult to sit through that there should be an award.

There was a reward: the scene where we get Kristanna Loken topless and humping an idiot.

Oh wait, that's right I never sat through it, I just googled that scene...

Silent Hill, god I hate it when people bash this one... It wasn't perfect no, but it was a lot better than some make it out to be. Honestly it was one of the BEST video game movies of the last decade IMO.

Doom... Ugh. Good popcorn flick if you leave your brain and any preconceived notions about the game at the door, but pretty bad otherwise. The whole "They're not demons from hell, they're mutated humans" crap gave me one hell of an irritated eye twitch alone.
 
2012-08-06 06:29:41 PM  

Strategeryz0r: The new one focuses on the Swiss outpost that initially found the alien object under the ice.


they're norwegians mac!

really though, The Thing is one of my all time favorite movies. i know it by rote, and the new one is a remake pretending to be a prequel. other than ruining/missing the point of the best parts of the original (all male cast, excellent music, great casting) it tried to hit the same points as the original movie almost shot for shot. It was kind of sad, because the parts that should have worked were so telegraphed (straight out of the original) that they were boring.

and really, the prequel concept in the end took away from the first. it really cuts out a lot of the mystery that made the first one so tremendous and creepy. knowing every detail of how the norwegians came to grief not only isn't important, its not fun. your imagination (backed by what happens to the americans when faced with the same enemy) is better than anything even an inspired script could have delivered.
 
2012-08-06 06:34:20 PM  

Iczer: Silent Hill, god I hate it when people bash this one... It wasn't perfect no, but it was a lot better than some make it out to be. Honestly it was one of the BEST video game movies of the last decade IMO.


i thought it was a pretty decent horror flick in general. it had a really good style, very creepy vibe. it didn't make a whole lot of sense, but not very many horror flicks do and they don't need to.
 
2012-08-06 06:53:04 PM  

NonSequiturl: I honestly believe that Super Mario Bros. is an underrated classic that will one day be properly appreciated. That time hasn't come yet, but it will. Oh yes, it will.


Yeah right... And I bet you ten bucks Krush Groove is going to be bigger than E.T.
 
2012-08-06 06:53:37 PM  

ZombieApocalypseKitten: I must be the only person on the planet that liked DOOM. Yes, it was a predictable popcorn flick. But as a geeky chick, I really appreciated that he wasn't going back for his girlfriend. He was going back for his sister.

/Ok, most of my love is for Karl Urban
// I enjoyed watching people play video games as a kid, so the bezerk scene was fun.
/// Where's my BFG.
//// Slashies


I'm sure it's a passable sci-fi action flick, but I refuse to watch it on the grounds that they called it Doom. The movie couldn't be further from the source material if it was a romantic comedy. Sure, Doom doesn't have much plot to begin with, but surely there's 90 minutes' worth. How the hell do you make a Doom movie, and leave out Hell and demons? Jesus farking Christ.

/Somewhat of a fan
 
2012-08-06 07:06:58 PM  

I Like Bread: ZombieApocalypseKitten: I must be the only person on the planet that liked DOOM. Yes, it was a predictable popcorn flick. But as a geeky chick, I really appreciated that he wasn't going back for his girlfriend. He was going back for his sister.

/Ok, most of my love is for Karl Urban
// I enjoyed watching people play video games as a kid, so the bezerk scene was fun.
/// Where's my BFG.
//// Slashies

I'm sure it's a passable sci-fi action flick, but I refuse to watch it on the grounds that they called it Doom. The movie couldn't be further from the source material if it was a romantic comedy. Sure, Doom doesn't have much plot to begin with, but surely there's 90 minutes' worth. How the hell do you make a Doom movie, and leave out Hell and demons? Jesus farking Christ.

/Somewhat of a fan


I remember a while back, I actually read a trilogy of novels based on Doom. They actually weren't half-bad pulp sci-fi stories for a high school kid.
 
2012-08-06 07:12:30 PM  

I Like Bread: Sure, Doom doesn't have much plot to begin with, but surely there's 90 minutes' worth. How the hell do you make a Doom movie, and leave out Hell and demons?


eh, who wants to risk religious controversy on their b-action flick by dragging religion into it? also, i could see why they would consider "hell" a little goofy to try and explain? i didn't think changing it to generic science evil #238 was the big issue.

they should have manned up and just made the whole movie in first person. couldn't have made it worse- and even then, when it sucked it would still at least be memorable suckage.
 
2012-08-06 07:13:41 PM  
Max Payne is the worst because they botched a perfectly simple task: convert the story, intact, to film. There's nothing to do but camerawork and stunts but no. Some asshole had to decide the film needed more than the game. Ridiculous.
 
2012-08-06 07:16:44 PM  

tlchwi02: they should have manned up and just made the whole movie in first person. couldn't have made it worse- and even then, when it sucked it would still at least be memorable suckage.


that scene in kick ass made that movie THAT much better. Felt like I was playing COD only with action
 
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