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(WTVR)   Jimmy Dean's widow finds new 'Sausage King'   (wtvr.com) divider line 43
    More: Followup, Jimmy Dean, Richmond Times-Dispatch  
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8573 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2012 at 11:01 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-06 06:54:15 AM
Still looks hittable to me.
 
2012-08-06 06:58:20 AM

mikemoto: Still looks hittable to me.


I see it...


What you did there.
 
2012-08-06 09:52:53 AM
She's no Sloane Peterson.
 
2012-08-06 09:58:39 AM
"I weep for the future."
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-06 11:05:13 AM
He's no Abe Froman.
 
2012-08-06 11:05:35 AM
I never sausage an outrage.

/ sausage makes her taco pop
 
2012-08-06 11:10:07 AM
The eggs come from real chickens, the milk comes from real cows, the sausage comes from Jimmy Dean.
 
2012-08-06 11:11:17 AM
Don't get snooty with me!
 
2012-08-06 11:12:42 AM
Came for the Ferris Bueller references, leaving satisfied.
 
2012-08-06 11:12:49 AM
He found a blue jean baby queen.
 
2012-08-06 11:17:26 AM

Falco09: Came for the Ferris Bueller references, leaving satisfied.


Please clean up your mess before you leave
 
2012-08-06 11:20:47 AM
always liked Jimmy Dean. he had that all-American down home goodness. he was a man's man. and when it came down to putting something delicious in your mouth, he had the sausage.

/big, bad sausage
 
2012-08-06 11:22:24 AM
She's marrying Bob Evans?
 
2012-08-06 11:23:31 AM
ruggerjay.typepad.com
 
2012-08-06 11:27:43 AM
I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products. Your quantity of your products. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for thirty something years. But I can't take and feed a family of five on a little twelve ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying more money for your sixteen ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a twelve ounce roll and you've got three men that weigh over two-hundred pounds a piece, a woman that's a little plump Scotch girl, and a daughter who's thirteen, and you're going to try to take a twelve ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that - it ain't going to work - and I'm not going to purchase your product any more or ever again. And as far as your sixteen ounce Maple and Sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast, with their fried eggs and their t-bone steak, and I can't see going to little twelve ounce package to feed four five six people and I'm not going to buy two of those twelve ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same goddamn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your sixteen ounce package on your regular sausage 'cause I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to thirty something years ago. It's not tasty as yours is but it'll work. Good bye. A little twelve ounce goddamn roll supposed to feed your brother, me, and you - six hundred pounds of men at least, get my point? - and the two girls, and they put it in that farking p**** roll of sausage. Son of a biatch. Somebody needs their ass kicked. Some little consumer geekaroid thought this shiate up. Save money, yeah. Saves money. Save money. Fark, I want to eat, goddammit.
 
2012-08-06 11:35:03 AM
He was great in Smokey and the Bandit.
 
2012-08-06 11:39:36 AM
Yes, she may be with you now, but she's still thinking about the guy in high school. Good thing for ol'Jimmy that she didn't have Facebook when he was alive.
 
2012-08-06 11:44:09 AM
Mamma if you please pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please, on a kaiser bun.
 
2012-08-06 11:48:18 AM
Baja? I don't own anything in Baja!
 
2012-08-06 11:52:49 AM
One day, while wandering around the processed meat aisle at my local H.E.B. (grocery store), I happened to stop at the breakfast type sausage section. A rather sweet old lady stepped next to me and said, "Ah, Jimmy Dean is on sale."

I said, "Oh, yeah. Good deal there!"

The preceding is purely from memory, and may not be accurate word for word. But the following is.

Her face then turned sour, and she said "Never did like that man. I hope he rots in hell."

And she just walked away.

I was too astonished to follow and ask her about her relationship with Jimmy Dean.

/C true SB
 
2012-08-06 11:53:27 AM

drpance: I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products. Your quantity of your products. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for thirty something years. But I can't take and feed a family of five on a little twelve ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying more money for your sixteen ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a twelve ounce roll and you've got three men that weigh over two-hundred pounds a piece, a woman that's a little plump Scotch girl, and a daughter who's thirteen, and you're going to try to take a twelve ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that - it ain't going to work - and I'm not going to purchase your product any more or ever again. And as far as your sixteen ounce Maple and Sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast, with their fried eggs and their t-bone steak, and I can't see going to little twelve ounce package to feed four five six people and I'm not going to buy two of those twelve ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same goddamn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your sixteen ounce package on your regular sausage 'cause I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to thirty something years ago. It's not tasty as yours is but it'll work. Good bye. A little twelve ounce goddamn roll supposed to feed your brother, me, and you - six hundred pounds of men at least, get my point? - and the two girls, and they put it in that farking p**** roll of sausage. Son of a biatch. Somebody needs their ass kicked. Some little consumer geekaroid thought this shiate up. Save money, yeah. Saves money. Save money. Fark, I want to eat, goddammit.


One of the best consumer complaint phone calls evar! That is a classic. Well done!

NSFW language Link for those who never heard it
 
2012-08-06 12:30:07 PM

chachi88: Baja? I don't own anything in Baja!


OK, you made me dig into that. I knew the quote but didn't see the correlation.
Based on findings; you could have played that better.
Admittedly, the material you had to work with on that path was quite limited.

If you had an image of JD coming out of the crapper when he was found (iirc), that would have opened more possibilities.

+ 0.5 for you.

Maximum Score: 1.0
Deductions: 0.5
(insufficient execution)

/bored? how'd you guess?
 
2012-08-06 12:41:03 PM

drpance: I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products. Your quantity of your products. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for thirty something years. But I can't take and feed a family of five on a little twelve ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying more money for your sixteen ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a twelve ounce roll and you've got three men that weigh over two-hundred pounds a piece, a woman that's a little plump Scotch girl, and a daughter who's thirteen, and you're going to try to take a twelve ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that - it ain't going to work - and I'm not going to purchase your product any more or ever again. And as far as your sixteen ounce Maple and Sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast, with their fried eggs and their t-bone steak, and I can't see going to little twelve ounce package to feed four five six people and I'm not going to buy two of those twelve ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same goddamn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your sixteen ounce package on your regular sausage 'cause I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to thirty something years ago. It's not tasty as yours is but it'll work. Good bye. A little twelve ounce goddamn roll supposed to feed your brother, me, and you - six hundred pounds of men at least, get my point? - and the two girls, and they put it in that farking p**** roll of sausage. Son of a biatch. Somebody needs their ass kicked. Some little consumer geekaroid thought this shiate up. Save money, yeah. Saves money. Save money. Fark, I want to eat, goddammit.


Wha-wha-what?

Jimmy Dean sausage has sucked since Sara Le bought the company and not only shrunk the package size to 12 oz, but also changed the recipe to use mostly artificial flavorings. It's crap. So just buy another brand to deed your hoard.
Now go have your medication checked. This is bothering too much.
 
2012-08-06 12:52:11 PM
She's 62 years old. So I guess that makes everyone who's pronounced her hittable members of the Fark GMILF Club. She remained faithful to Jimmy Dean and she's marrying her childhood boyfriend. Sounds like a real nice person.
 
2012-08-06 01:00:46 PM
Rock On
 
2012-08-06 01:32:23 PM

drpance: I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products. Your quantity of your products. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for thirty something years. But I can't take and feed a family of five on a little twelve ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying more money for your sixteen ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a twelve ounce roll and you've got three men that weigh over two-hundred pounds a piece, a woman that's a little plump Scotch girl, and a daughter who's thirteen, and you're going to try to take a twelve ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that - it ain't going to work - and I'm not going to purchase your product any more or ever again. And as far as your sixteen ounce Maple and Sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast, with their fried eggs and their t-bone steak, and I can't see going to little twelve ounce package to feed four five six people and I'm not going to buy two of those twelve ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same goddamn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your sixteen ounce package on your regular sausage 'cause I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to thirty something years ago. It's not tasty as yours is but it'll work. Good bye. A little twelve ounce goddamn roll supposed to feed your brother, me, and you - six hundred pounds of men at least, get my point? - and the two girls, and they put it in that farking p**** roll of sausage. Son of a biatch. Somebody needs their ass kicked. Some little consumer geekaroid thought this shiate up. Save money, yeah. Saves money. Save money. Fark, I want to eat, goddammit.


Haha, came for this.

Couple dozen fried eggs, t-bone steaks... but goddammit how dare you take away 4 oz of sausage
 
2012-08-06 01:36:39 PM
bassfarmsausage.com
The true Sausage King.
 
2012-08-06 01:50:56 PM

chachi88: Baja? I don't own anything in Baja!


Nice!
 
2012-08-06 02:10:51 PM
Was it Bert Saxby?
 
2012-08-06 02:25:40 PM

JackieRabbit:

Wha-wha-what?

Jimmy Dean sausage has sucked since Sara Le bought the company and not only shrunk the package size to 12 oz, but also changed the recipe to use mostly artificial flavorings. It's crap. So just buy another brand to deed your hoard.
Now go have your medication checked. This is bothering too much.


Calm down, you just didn't get the reference/joke.
 
2012-08-06 02:31:13 PM

Cat Food Sandwiches: She's marrying Bob Evans?


Down on the farm.
 
2012-08-06 02:35:06 PM

drpance: JackieRabbit:

Wha-wha-what?

Jimmy Dean sausage has sucked since Sara Le bought the company and not only shrunk the package size to 12 oz, but also changed the recipe to use mostly artificial flavorings. It's crap. So just buy another brand to deed your hoard.
Now go have your medication checked. This is bothering too much.

Calm down, you just didn't get the reference/joke.


Calm, but you're right. Didn't get the reference. Assistance?
 
2012-08-06 02:40:57 PM
There's a reason that the Jimmy Dean logo on those rolls of sausage includes a cowboy boot: probably made of old, ground-up cowboy boots.
 
2012-08-06 02:58:12 PM

drpance: I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products. Your quantity of your products. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for thirty something years. But I can't take and feed a family of five on a little twelve ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying more money for your sixteen ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a twelve ounce roll and you've got three men that weigh over two-hundred pounds a piece, a woman that's a little plump Scotch girl, and a daughter who's thirteen, and you're going to try to take a twelve ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that - it ain't going to work - and I'm not going to purchase your product any more or ever again. And as far as your sixteen ounce Maple and Sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast, with their fried eggs and their t-bone steak, and I can't see going to little twelve ounce package to feed four five six people and I'm not going to buy two of those twelve ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same goddamn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your sixteen ounce package on your regular sausage 'cause I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to thirty something years ago. It's not tasty as yours is but it'll work. Good bye. A little twelve ounce goddamn roll supposed to feed your brother, me, and you - six hundred pounds of men at least, get my point? - and the two girls, and they put it in that farking p**** roll of sausage. Son of a biatch. Somebody needs their ass kicked. Some little consumer geekaroid thought this shiate up. Save money, yeah. Saves money. Save money. Fark, I want to eat, goddammit.


I read this in that guys voice. It's amazing how the brain stores that stuff.
And thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed reading that entire rant all over again. lmao. Man.

/Fark, I want to eat, goddammit.
 
2012-08-06 03:28:11 PM

JackieRabbit: drpance: JackieRabbit:

Wha-wha-what?

Jimmy Dean sausage has sucked since Sara Le bought the company and not only shrunk the package size to 12 oz, but also changed the recipe to use mostly artificial flavorings. It's crap. So just buy another brand to deed your hoard.
Now go have your medication checked. This is bothering too much.

Calm down, you just didn't get the reference/joke.

Calm, but you're right. Didn't get the reference. Assistance?


He's referring to the connubial sausage, not the breakfast sausage.
 
2012-08-06 03:49:35 PM
Hmmm. How did he die?

Once there was a Dutchman
His name was Johnny Verbeck
He made the finest sausages and sauerkraut and speck.
He made the finest sausages that'll evermore be seen,
Till one day he invented a sausage makin machine.

Chorus:
Oh, Mr. Johnny Verbeck how could you be so mean,
I told you, you'd be sorry for inventin' that machine
now all the neighbors cats and dogs will nevermore be seen
For they'll be ground to sausages in Johnny Verbeck's machine.

One day a boy came walkin' a walkin' thru the door.
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor.
The boy began to whistle, He whistled up a tune.
And all the little sausages went dancin' round the room.

Chorus:

One day the machine got busted the darn thing wouldn't go,
So Johnny Verbeck he climbed inside to see what made it so.
His wife she had a nightmare, went walkin' in her sleep
She gave it a yank a deuce of crank and Johnny Verbeck was meat!

Chorus:
Alternate Verses

One day tha meat inspector came knockin at tha door,
He said "I'll start a lookin or give me money more."
Well johnny got real angry an pushed him in tha meat,
he fired up the old machine an now theres more ta eat.

One day there was a shortage there was no meat ta grind,
So johnny he called up tha pound ta see what he could find.
They said were outta busness we keep tha strays no more,
But we'll send all our future finds directly to your door."
 
2012-08-06 04:57:20 PM
I'd pork her.
 
2012-08-06 05:10:49 PM

JackieRabbit: Calm, but you're right. Didn't get the reference. Assistance?


Linkage
 
2012-08-06 05:21:54 PM
I wonder if she would be interested in a Little Sizziler on the side.
 
2012-08-06 08:02:59 PM
I liked him in Diamonds Are Forever, playing a Howard Hughes-like character.
s.wsj.net
 
2012-08-06 08:19:09 PM
I'd let her sleeve my sausage.
 
2012-08-06 08:43:19 PM

djtripp: He's no Abe Froman.


came for this, leaving satisfied
 
2012-08-06 10:46:06 PM
Jimmy was quite the dirty mo-fo.

Was working on a show back in the early 90s. After the taping he briefly talked to the audience members (made up of retirees) and decided to tell this joke...

Did you hear about the little black girl who was afraid of flies?

Until she opened one?

We all just kind of stood there while the audience responded with nervous laughter...
 
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