I'm assuming you're a jet fighter pilot, a Naval aviator who is in the top 1 percent of pilots. For your first day at Fighter Weapons School, call the tower and request a flyby. They will give you a negative response because the pattern is full, but right as the air traffic controller is about to take a sip of scalding coffee, buzz the tower at over 400 knots. His coffee will spill everywhere and then he'll want your butt. And he'll want it now.

Paranoia-': Actually you are going to delay renewing because i was going to sponsor you but accidentally hit back and now it wont let me finish. I have to wait thirty minutes...

Ha. I appreciate the sentiment. But then I'd probably have to send you BIE or something. I'm not ready for that.

Tap dance. But don't wear tap shoes.

EggFool: Tap dance. But don't wear tap shoes.

You be Moe,and everybody else is Larry or Curly.

SanjiSasuke: Wait for the first person to say hello or say something polite, etc.

Once they do grab them by the throat and say "If you mess with me one more time, you won't live to see the reaction" or something to that effect. Then casually chokeslam them through the nearest table, and pose.

Only if you are a Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice.

Sum Dum Gai: xl5150: I'm sorry, subby. I feel for you. When I was 17 my dad made me get a job over the summer to show me how much it sucks to be dependent on a job for your money. I had to work three days a week the whole summer, which pretty much ruined my whole summer, and I was making just over $11 an hour (this was in the mid-90s, so it was pretty much minimum wage). It was the worst summer I ever had. I hope things look up for you soon.

$11 was nowhere near minimum wage in the mid-90s. Minimum wage was $4.25 an hour for the first half of the '90s, raising to $5.15 by the end of the '90s. Hell, even today minimum wage is only $7.25 an hour.

/Would have loved to work for $11/hr in the '90s
//Barely made $11/hr while in grad school in the '00s

You bit on the copy pasta.

Steal your boss's parking spot and call him Lumbergh every chance you get.

Whenever some one asks you 'how's it going?'

Look them square in the eye and say,' I don't know,I've never gotten this far before.'

BMFPitt: Depends if you want to still have the job after tomorrow.

I have a few stories about 1-day employees.

TELL TELL TELL

Sensei Can You See: EggFool: Tap dance. But don't wear tap shoes.

[www.themarysue.com image 600x496]

I actually give the worst advice.

Wait until you're out of sight of all of your office mates except for one. Go up behind that person when they're sitting down, drop trau, and place your dick on their shoulder.

When you're called into HR and are asked: "Did you put your dick on their shoulder," act indignant and say: "Of course not! It would never reach somebody's shoulder! Here, let me show you..."

sarahthustra: be the guy who microwaves his leftover fish at lunchtime. everyone loves guy who microwaves his leftover fish at lunchtime.

My god! everyone loves that guy at my place of business -_-


I suggest you walk around with your finger hanging out of your open fly. Worked for me.

Wear a Stormtrooper helmet. Also, wear said helmet when you destroy the bathroom, so the people that see you walk out are like "Hey, that Stormtrooper just fouled the bathroom up BIG TIME!!"

And if anyone asks why you have a Stormtrooper helmet on your desk just say it was there when you got there.

W.C.fields forever: Whenever some one asks you 'how's it going?'

Look them square in the eye and say,' I don't know,I've never gotten this far before.'

And, when they stare blankly at you, ask, "Where's the save point?" Then wander aimlessly down the hall.

Print some nice pictures of a famous supermodel out, frame them, and put them all over your desk. And if anybody asks, just tell them that you used to date her a long time ago.

Haha. I couldn't stand it any longer, and I went to reup and now I have to wait. PENDING.

*shakes violently*

Locate the biggest guy in the lunchroom and kick the ever-loving shiat out of him.

bingo the psych-o: Sodomy. Nothing says "hello" like sodomy.

It really is the all purpose sex act

Tell everyone you meet that you have to go talk to "The Bobs".

Don't forget to use "air bunnies" when you say "The Bobs".