Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   Bored moms turning to sex, drugs   (cnn.com) divider line 252
    More: Obvious, Yo-Yo Ma, Married... with Children, social circle, Shanon Cook  
•       •       •

28506 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2012 at 3:03 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



252 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-08-05 12:48:56 PM  
FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice
 
2012-08-05 01:37:30 PM  
Meh, a midlife crisis by any other name is still just a midlife crisis.
 
2012-08-05 01:51:21 PM  
How is this any way news. Guess that is why its on fark.
 
2012-08-05 01:55:26 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice

 
2012-08-05 01:57:57 PM  
Sympathy... I don't has it.

Has it never entered the minds of these women to get out of their suburban bubble once in a while and go help people with real problems?
 
2012-08-05 01:58:21 PM  
www.sherv.net
 
2012-08-05 02:03:28 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice


Done in one. Well said.
 
2012-08-05 02:05:01 PM  
Sohn's salacious revelations have some people suggesting she made it all up: Her new novel comes out in August, after all.

Yup, there it is.
 
2012-08-05 02:15:49 PM  

Chariset: Sympathy... I don't has it.

Has it never entered the minds of these women to get out of their suburban bubble once in a while and go help people with real problems?


No.. They do give good BJs though!

/milf magnet
 
2012-08-05 03:05:57 PM  
Self-centered people act self-centered. News at 11.
 
2012-08-05 03:07:55 PM  
What a drag it is getting old...
 
2012-08-05 03:08:58 PM  
More problems I couldn't give a shiat less about
 
2012-08-05 03:10:41 PM  
Time to join
www.365games.co.uk
 
2012-08-05 03:12:41 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice


Came in to say the exact same thing. Bunch of farking losers.
 
2012-08-05 03:13:32 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice


And... we're done here.
 
2012-08-05 03:14:13 PM  
Maybe they aren't involved in an existential crisis of identity. Maybe they're just slutty.
 
2012-08-05 03:14:38 PM  
"50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me
 
2012-08-05 03:14:47 PM  
Rock and roll?
 
2012-08-05 03:14:56 PM  
What about Rock and Roll. Sex and drugs just aren't complete without Rock and roll.

Just like Rum and sodomy aren't complete without the lash
 
2012-08-05 03:15:15 PM  
Uncle Zip can help. Really. Just give me a call, and I'll do everything I can to stave off your boredom.

/what the hell is sexting?
 
2012-08-05 03:15:40 PM  
FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I love all the butt-hurt man-failures in the thread who can't even read the three sentences they quoted.
 
2012-08-05 03:15:42 PM  
But when men "regress" and act like irresponsible, reckless juveniles, they're "manchildren". Got it.
 
2012-08-05 03:15:54 PM  
by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives.

The only thing that makes this hipsterlike is insisting that your generic and unoriginal midlife crisis is special to the point of needing its own name.
 
2012-08-05 03:17:41 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.
 
2012-08-05 03:17:44 PM  
Sex, drugs and classical music.
 
2012-08-05 03:19:51 PM  
img18.imageshack.us
Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Pah. Amateurs.
 
2012-08-05 03:20:24 PM  

OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.


Did you not know this before you married her?
 
2012-08-05 03:20:28 PM  
I have a feeling that these women were never far removed from being bored, self-centered and poorly behaved at any point in their lives. Calling it regressive suggests that they had, at some point, advanced beyond this behavior; I'm not convinced.
 
2012-08-05 03:21:32 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


I wonder about people like you. The girls I've dated, I've always brought that up. I'm a very horny person, and I want it on a daily basis. Hell, I dumped a girl over the lack of sex. I just told her, this isn't working for me, maybe you should go find a guy that dis-likes sex as much as you.
 
2012-08-05 03:23:18 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


biatches be crazy. i'm saving up for a divorce, i can take the batshiat looney anymore. not so much as a peck on the cheek in over 8 years.
 
2012-08-05 03:25:17 PM  
img600.imageshack.us

"Who wants MILF and cookies?"
 
2012-08-05 03:26:43 PM  
Nothing like a glass of nice warm MILF!
 
2012-08-05 03:26:53 PM  
Is this a repeat of 45+ years ago?

"Things are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of her mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day.



/The more things change, the more they stay the same
 
2012-08-05 03:27:00 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: ////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'


While my first reaction is that this is something you should have done before you, y'know, got married, the whole "sex is an important part of a relationship for me" discussion might be a good plan, and if your kids aren't dependent on you anymore then divorce is generally considered a reasonable and fairly amicable option nowadays.

No reason to stay in a relationship you find unsatisfactory in a major way, y'know.

//Then, I've not been married even once, so possibly my priorities are dramatically different than yours. Plus I'm a random asshole on the internet, so, y'know, advice, barrel of salt, etc.
 
2012-08-05 03:30:05 PM  
I admit it. I am a mother farker and proud of it.
 
2012-08-05 03:30:10 PM  
Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!
 
2012-08-05 03:31:22 PM  
CNN, making the abnormal seem normal. Maybe makin' shiat up. These sons of belial will pay the price.

Look to the light! Ask for forgiveness. Ask for guidance. It will be cheerfully and immediately be given!
 
2012-08-05 03:32:12 PM  

fragMasterFlash: [img600.imageshack.us image 578x400]

"Who wants MILF and cookies?"


and plastic boobs?
 
2012-08-05 03:33:18 PM  
Reminds me of where I grew up-Westchester NY-so much booze floating 'em all along, then the endless parties where it seemed that the adults were always pairing up with anyone other than who they were married to. The rumor mill of who was after who and of course who was/wasn't doing whoever......the drugs I sometimes found on the coffee table...my siblings wandering around-finishing up drinks that were put down-kind've unclear if they were doing that during the parties or after wards. Don't think kids aren't aware of what does go on with their parents as well their friends.
 
2012-08-05 03:34:45 PM  

fragMasterFlash: "Who wants MILF and cookies?"


Nice bolt-ons.
 
2012-08-05 03:34:46 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce
 
2012-08-05 03:35:24 PM  

propasaurus: Sohn's salacious revelations have some people suggesting she made it all up: Her new novel comes out in August, after all.

Yup, there it is.


Some pseudo-journalist making up crap to capitalize on the 50 Shades phenom. Surprised this isn't a NYT piece.
 
2012-08-05 03:35:53 PM  
God I love these type of women

#cmonmamaIgotweed
 
2012-08-05 03:36:11 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


50 shades of Goat.

See. See what happens when a married man has too much time on his hands.
 
2012-08-05 03:37:15 PM  
I'm a stay at home dad, and I have yet to meet these women. If you see them, send them my way.

In the meantime, I'll be masturbating excessively.
 
2012-08-05 03:38:47 PM  
I'm surprised none of you seized on this gem:

"Au contraire. Truth be told, I actually enjoy going out more now, simply because I'm a parent. There's a sense of accomplishment that I haven't felt before, having co-created this awesome little creature who giggles her way through the day. These days I feel lighter and happier when I'm on the town. I laugh more because my baby constantly reminds me how funny we all are. I relax more because I know it's useless wasting rare moments away from the house on being uptight."

Come on Fark, you can do better.
 
2012-08-05 03:39:04 PM  
As someone dating a recently-divorced woman in her mid-30s, I would be getting a kick out of these replies if I could find the key to the handcuffs...
 
2012-08-05 03:40:46 PM  

Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!


Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.
 
2012-08-05 03:42:13 PM  

rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.

Did you not know this before you married her?


It's funny I didn't, because she would do 'other' things that (while not full-blown intercourse, certainly) were not things a 'Good Christian girl' would do before marriage. But she did make me wait for intercourse until after we were married, & yes, I was her first. Later on, I asked her about her pre-marriage behavior being in conflict with her beliefs & she told me she felt pressured because she didn't want me to leave :/

But the trouble started right away - no sex the night of the wedding (granted we were both very tired & she had 10,000 pins in her hair) but then it became no sex the week of the honeymoon, etc... We eventually went to counseling (I was eventually dismissed as I was told 2 things: 1) There was nothing wrong with me. 2) Don't waste my life.

Honestly, I interpreted the 2nd part as having to do with my (then 20-something) level of partying, now I believe the counselor was talking about divorce. Unfortunately the sessions ended when my wife came home in tears (it got to the point where they told her something was wrong with her, as she doesn't have the capability to feel passion or lust whatsoever). One thing I won't stand for is any woman (but especially mine) crying - makes me want to hurt the person who did it. I know it wasn't fake (she didn't 'turn the waterworks on', etc) but it has allowed her to drop the issue.

We have 2 kids & I just don't think I can put them through the pain of divorce, and I still do love my wife...
 
2012-08-05 03:42:39 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


I'm just going to say it...you should cheat with one of those neighbor's wives. Honestly, you've already screwed the pooch on this marriage. You married a woman you don't like, but are not quite sure you really want to divorce. That shiat's hard. So, you cheat, she gets angry...you either have the Talk and "reach a new level" in your relationship, or it's the TNT that finally blows that shiat part, and you didn't have to bother being the one to file. Who cares if it's the shiatty thing to do...isn't what you're describing already a really shiatty, useless situation? Why bother with the "right thing". Just do what you need to do-why concern yourself with "right" when she doesn't care enough to bother with you?

That's my 1 1/2 cents. Then again, I'm not married. Going on 10 years with my fella, and and I'm still getting laid like a motherfarker. Then again, we never shut up about the shiat we think about. You non talkative people confuse me.
 
2012-08-05 03:42:42 PM  
FTA : Another sliver of wisdom, this time from a PR executive and mother of two grown children, was that if I was ever tempted by another man I should "jump in with both feet" regardless of my marital status.

"Falling in love isn't something you should ever pass up," she said.

Even if it might tear my whole family apart?


This selfish attitude strikes me as a lousy way to find happiness.
 
2012-08-05 03:43:29 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.

Did you not know this before you married her?

It's funny I didn't, because she would do 'other' things that (while not full-blown intercourse, certainly) were not things a 'Good Christian girl' would do before marriage. But she did make me wait for intercourse until after we were married, & yes, I was her first. Later on, I asked her about her pre-marriage behavior being in conflict with her beliefs & she told me she felt pressured because she didn't want me to leave :/

But the trouble started right away - no sex the night of the wedding (granted we were both very tired & she had 10,000 pins in her hair) but then it became no sex the week of the honeymoon, etc... We eventually went to counseling (I was eventually dismissed as I was told 2 things: 1) There was nothing wrong with me. 2) Don't waste my life.

Honestly, I interpreted the 2nd part as having to do with my (then 20-something) level of partying, now I believe the counselor was talking about divorce. Unfortunately the sessions ended when my wife came home in tears (it got to the point where they told her something was wrong with her, as she doesn't have the capability to feel passion or lust whatsoever). One thing I won't stand for is any woman (but especially mine) crying - makes me want to hurt the person who did it. I know it wasn't fake (she didn't 'turn the waterworks on', etc) but it has allowed her to drop the issue.

We have 2 kids & I just don't think I ca ...


Fight back with the bible:

"The husband must fulfill his (sexual) duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another (of sex)." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
 
2012-08-05 03:43:29 PM  
White people problems....
 
2012-08-05 03:43:39 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: ////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'


Show her this, particularly part 5a.
 
2012-08-05 03:46:16 PM  
reviews.realtvchat.com

Unavailable for comment...

/can't believe this hadn't been posted yet.
 
2012-08-05 03:48:42 PM  
machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.


I can see where it would be - if you had no libido - or stamina!
 
2012-08-05 03:48:47 PM  
fragMasterFlash: [img600.imageshack.us image 578x400]

"Who wants MILF and cookies?"


Looks like she's spent too much time in the sun. Still, not bad for ~45 years old...
 
2012-08-05 03:49:30 PM  

phenn: The My Little Pony Killer: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice

Came in to say the exact same thing. Bunch of farking losers.


There is such a thing as part time work. Put 20 hours in a week someplace and feel useful.
 
2012-08-05 03:51:57 PM  
MILF does a body good!
 
2012-08-05 03:53:09 PM  
geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce


This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?
 
2012-08-05 03:53:21 PM  
desertfool & GilRuiz1 - thanks!

/just emailed the link to her now
//maybe some fireworks tonight...
///or just farking rockets & bombs
 
2012-08-05 03:53:51 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Easy solution. Tell her, "You get Jesus, I get a fark-toy on the side. Your other option is divorce. This whole jerking off silently in the dead of night thing has just about lost all its charm. Your move, cupcake." Feel free to put it more diplomatically than that, though.

/told the wife about this story and she was appalled; she thinks you should get sex, or you get to go have an affair free and clear
 
2012-08-05 03:54:03 PM  
Whore. Whore never changes.
 
2012-08-05 03:55:39 PM  
FizixJunkee: Looks like she's spent too much time in the sun. Still, not bad for ~45 years old...

Her fake ID says 45. In reality, she's probably 29.
 
2012-08-05 03:56:41 PM  
Almost two years without sex here. Divorce proceedings been going on for 8 months. I stayed even after I caught her in an affair because I didn't want to destroy the family. We have a son. So I've been miserable for three years thinking I was doing what was best for him. It's sucked. Still sucks and I hate it for my son but I can't wait to have the insane biatch out of my life. What happened? I dunno. We were good for 7 years then she changed. I guess I did too.

I never retaliated for her cheating. I think she has a boyfriend now too but I still won't break my marriage vows. I just pray every day that I can end this nightmare soon and go find some hot divorcee that's as hard up as I am.
 
2012-08-05 03:56:50 PM  
Aikidogamer: phenn: The My Little Pony Killer: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice

Came in to say the exact same thing. Bunch of farking losers.

There is such a thing as part time work. Put 20 hours in a week someplace and feel useful.


Yeah... no thanks. I'd rather have a partner than a dependent.
 
2012-08-05 03:57:21 PM  
Meh. Amy Sohn has made a living using sex to peddle her exceptionally average writing. And hey, now it's an easy lifestyles piece. Bad journalism about bad writing. We need a behind the scenes television special about this whole shiatshow to complete the downfall of civilization.
 
2012-08-05 03:57:56 PM  
READING COMPREHENSION WIN LIST:

propasaurus
LowbrowDeluxe


READING COMPREHENSION FAIL LIST:

The My Little Pony Killer
Indolent
phenn
Keyser_Soze_Death
 
2012-08-05 03:58:32 PM  
blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?



No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).
 
2012-08-05 03:59:07 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Yeah, if she wants to get all xtian Biblical on you tell her she is citing Levitical law. Jesus's sacrifice made the Leviticus book of the Bible basically a historical foot note, including that bit about "not spilling seed." The book was a "how to not die out" provided to the Jewish people in their new land by god.

As long as you are married, fark whatever hole you want and blow your load. God made sex enjoyable for a reason.
 
2012-08-05 03:59:13 PM  
Step right up boys...

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-08-05 03:59:56 PM  

xynix: Chariset: Sympathy... I don't has it.

Has it never entered the minds of these women to get out of their suburban bubble once in a while and go help people with real problems?

No.. They do give good BJs though!

/milf magnet


Yep, i keep getting older and these married women just stay the same.

If you arent banging your wives, neglectful husbands, someone else is. Take my word for it.
 
2012-08-05 04:00:31 PM  
Also, what the hell is "masterbating excessively" for one of these chicks? Is it on the level of "the second he pulls out of the driveway, I'm looking through the gangbang category on youporn and THEN I start the laundry" kind of thing, or is it a on a Warren Jeff's level (what was that, 14xs a day?)?

I somehow think that "excessively" means once at 0830 and again at 3. *yawn*
 
2012-08-05 04:01:09 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil: desertfool & GilRuiz1 - thanks!

/just emailed the link to her now
//maybe some fireworks tonight...
///or just farking rockets & bombs


I thought it was funny that we almost had a simulpost quoting the same scripture.

And I'm an atheist!
 
2012-08-05 04:01:41 PM  

red5ish: I have a feeling that these women were never far removed from being bored, self-centered and poorly behaved at any point in their lives. Calling it regressive suggests that they had, at some point, advanced beyond this behavior; I'm not convinced.


Bazinga! And done.
 
2012-08-05 04:02:44 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.

Did you not know this before you married her?

It's funny I didn't, because she would do 'other' things that (while not full-blown intercourse, certainly) were not things a 'Good Christian girl' would do before marriage. But she did make me wait for intercourse until after we were married, & yes, I was her first. Later on, I asked her about her pre-marriage behavior being in conflict with her beliefs & she told me she felt pressured because she didn't want me to leave :/

But the trouble started right away - no sex the night of the wedding (granted we were both very tired & she had 10,000 pins in her hair) but then it became no sex the week of the honeymoon, etc... We eventually went to counseling (I was eventually dismissed as I was told 2 things: 1) There was nothing wrong with me. 2) Don't waste my life.

Honestly, I interpreted the 2nd part as having to do with my (then 20-something) level of partying, now I believe the counselor was talking about divorce. Unfortunately the sessions ended when my wife came home in tears (it got to the point where they told her something was wrong with her, as she doesn't have the capability to feel passion or lust whatsoever). One thing I won't stand for is any woman (but especially mine) crying - makes me want to hurt the person who did it. I know it wasn't fake (she didn't 'turn the waterworks on', etc) but it has allowed her to drop the issue.

We have 2 kids & I just don't think I can put them through the pain of divorce, and I still do love my wife...


Make no mistake:

Your wife is abusing you.

She knows that she can treat you like this while holding your marriage hostage.

Divorce her and move on. "Staying together for the kids" is almost never the correct choice as any reputable therapist will tell you. Your kids will pick up on the fact that something isnt right, theyre not oblivious

Also consider the kind of example youre setting for them. They deserve to grow up in a home where two people truly love one another
 
2012-08-05 04:02:46 PM  
desertfool: Thoroughly With Foil: desertfool & GilRuiz1 - thanks!

/just emailed the link to her now
//maybe some fireworks tonight...
///or just farking rockets & bombs

I thought it was funny that we almost had a simulpost quoting the same scripture.

And I'm an atheist!



*internet high-five*
 
2012-08-05 04:03:25 PM  
Is this a repeat from the 60s and 70s?
 
2012-08-05 04:04:19 PM  

machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.


You've never been with two twenties, before, have you.
 
2012-08-05 04:04:27 PM  
Oh she has a book coming out about this very topic, how fortunate for her.

I'm sure that none of these stories are embellished in anyway.
 
2012-08-05 04:04:56 PM  
GORDON: xynix: Chariset: Sympathy... I don't has it.

Has it never entered the minds of these women to get out of their suburban bubble once in a while and go help people with real problems?

No.. They do give good BJs though!

/milf magnet

Yep, i keep getting older and these married women just stay the same.

If you arent banging your wives, neglectful husbands, someone else is. Take my word for it.



Thank goodness, I was afraid the poor gal wasn't getting any at all.
 
2012-08-05 04:05:58 PM  
I have a 40-year-old coworker who is married and works full-time. She is a vicious flirt. She will flirt non-stop with a guy and then act offended when the guy starts to reciprocate. She has also discovered booze and now loudly wonders, when I'm around, how she will keep from cheating on her husband.

/she's told me more than I needed to know already
 
2012-08-05 04:09:32 PM  
Really? I have to be the Weeners this?

img133.imageshack.us

/Hot
 
2012-08-05 04:10:20 PM  
LandOfChocolate: Thoroughly With Foil: rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

Divorce her and move on. "Staying together for the kids" is almost never the correct choice as any reputable therapist will tell you. Your kids will pick up on the fact that something isnt right, theyre not oblivious


THIS. see my previous post. Wife and I have been living in separate bedrooms for over a year and a half now. Divorce proceedings coming up on 8 months. You think my 5 yer old isn't confused by this? God it sucks. I so wish I was smart enough to have filed a long time ago instead of "staying for my son". Now he's confused, I'm miserable and it just sucks all around.
 
2012-08-05 04:10:46 PM  
Damn filter...
 
2012-08-05 04:10:53 PM  
Approves
t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-08-05 04:10:55 PM  
ladyfortuna: I'm surprised none of you seized on this gem:

"Au contraire. Truth be told, I actually enjoy going out more now, simply because I'm a parent. There's a sense of accomplishment that I haven't felt before, having co-created this awesome little creature who giggles her way through the day. These days I feel lighter and happier when I'm on the town. I laugh more because my baby constantly reminds me how funny we all are. I relax more because I know it's useless wasting rare moments away from the house on being uptight."

Come on Fark, you can do better.


It's a sad commentary on our society when simply spreading your legs is "a sense of accomplishment that I haven't felt before." Was that her first time out of her parents' basement?
 
2012-08-05 04:11:04 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Well, you and your wife have options. Tell her that carrying on this way is not one of them. You could (a) get divorced (b) have an open marriage, or (c) have a morally-justifiable affair behind her back.

You might want to refer her to the relevant passages from the Bible, as well as St. Augustine (the "marriage debt," for instance).
 
2012-08-05 04:12:49 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).


Well, just curious on that end to see if it was an imbalance of hormones, maybe an adverse reaction to sex (pain during the act), etc.
 
2012-08-05 04:13:02 PM  

Cubansaltyballs: Aikidogamer: phenn: The My Little Pony Killer: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice

Came in to say the exact same thing. Bunch of farking losers.

There is such a thing as part time work. Put 20 hours in a week someplace and feel useful.

Yeah... no thanks. I'd rather have a partner than a dependent.


What I trying to communicate here is the notion of maybe you are bored with your office job. Ftfa they live affluently. So quit your full time job take up a partime job in something you are interested in and make life more interesting at home. As long as the husband still makes decent money, you're good.
 
2012-08-05 04:16:11 PM  
Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!


Huh?

The worn-out, high-mileage ones are the best. Easily picked up and they don't get all attached and clingy.

/never married, thank FSM
 
gja
2012-08-05 04:26:09 PM  
Brick-House: Step right up boys...

images2.wikia.nocookie.net



encrypted-tbn1.google.com
 
2012-08-05 04:26:56 PM  
Brick-House: Step right up boys...

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 460x300]


When i'm about 70 that pic will be looking pretty good.
 
2012-08-05 04:28:17 PM  
As a 50-year-old divorced man, where might I find these 40-year-olds-gone-wild?
 
2012-08-05 04:29:49 PM  
Feel free to turn to me, bored moms.
 
2012-08-05 04:31:30 PM  
lousy screw: As a 50-year-old divorced man, where might I find these 40-year-olds-gone-wild?

You don't find them, they find you. Trust me, if they want you they will find you. For some reason I'm like man candy to these women.
 
2012-08-05 04:34:07 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil: /turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


That would be shooting the wrong person. With the wrong ammunition. Load up that guy, boy. Plenty of targets to shoot.
 
2012-08-05 04:36:07 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


have you tried reading the song of solomon to her?

also, that is BS, there's nothing in the bible about it being strictly for procreation
 
2012-08-05 04:37:14 PM  
Sounds like my neighborhood ...
 
2012-08-05 04:37:53 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil: rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.

Did you not know this before you married her?

It's funny I didn't, because she would do 'other' things that (while not full-blown intercourse, certainly) were not things a 'Good Christian girl' would do before marriage. But she did make me wait for intercourse until after we were married, & yes, I was her first. Later on, I asked her about her pre-marriage behavior being in conflict with her beliefs & she told me she felt pressured because she didn't want me to leave :/

But the trouble started right away - no sex the night of the wedding (granted we were both very tired & she had 10,000 pins in her hair) but then it became no sex the week of the honeymoon, etc... We eventually went to counseling (I was eventually dismissed as I was told 2 things: 1) There was nothing wrong with me. 2) Don't waste my life.

Honestly, I interpreted the 2nd part as having to do with my (then 20-something) level of partying, now I believe the counselor was talking about divorce. Unfortunately the sessions ended when my wife came home in tears (it got to the point where they told her something was wrong with her, as she doesn't have the capability to feel passion or lust whatsoever). One thing I won't stand for is any woman (but especially mine) crying - makes me want to hurt the person who did it. I know it wasn't fake (she didn't 'turn the waterworks on', etc) but it has allowed her to drop the issue.

We have 2 kids & I just don't think I ca ...


You can love her from a distance. She's too f*cked up to meet your needs and what impression is this giving the kids? Do you have a daughter?
Cut and run. Kids know when things aren't right and they deserve honesty.
Staying together for the kids is bullsh*t and it burdens them.
 
2012-08-05 04:38:19 PM  
Note: This is not a trend. It is a book review.
 
2012-08-05 04:45:42 PM  
Wish I could find these women. Every day I run into frustrated MILFs who are taking their frustrations out in totally ridiculous ways: obsessing over where the potted plants go, arranging the art on the fridge just so, getting the Cheerios out of the SUV, etc., etc.


*Spoiler* The Cheerios never come out of the SUV.
 
2012-08-05 04:51:06 PM  
I live in an area that has quite a few single-income high-earners. Or to put it another way, about 90-95% of the households around me have husbands that work 12-16 hours a day, and wives that stay home.

I think the arrangements begin when the couples have children under the age of 5 -- which is, if done correctly, an insane amount of work for the one staying home. But then once the kids are in school, the wives continue to stay home -- now, with an impressive amount of free time.

I've always been fascinated that society so freely accepts that women do this while demonizing men that attempt a similar path (deadbeat, anyone?). I figure quite a bit of cheating occurs under this system. I do think we as a society make people work way way way too much -- but the moment this freetime imbalance occurs in a relationship, I think most marriages are bound to capsize. One partner is too tired, while the other is bored.
 
2012-08-05 04:51:44 PM  
Edna St. Vincent Millay is unimpressed.
 
2012-08-05 04:56:42 PM  
Meanwhile, here in my late 30s I prefer to hang out at home with my husband. The only thing we're missing now that we're older is a 420 hookup.
 
2012-08-05 04:57:19 PM  
radiobiz: LandOfChocolate: Thoroughly With Foil: rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

Divorce her and move on. "Staying together for the kids" is almost never the correct choice as any reputable therapist will tell you. Your kids will pick up on the fact that something isnt right, theyre not oblivious

THIS. see my previous post. Wife and I have been living in separate bedrooms for over a year and a half now. Divorce proceedings coming up on 8 months. You think my 5 yer old isn't confused by this? God it sucks. I so wish I was smart enough to have filed a long time ago instead of "staying for my son". Now he's confused, I'm miserable and it just sucks all around.


In the few months leading up to our divorce, my wife told me to sleep on the couch. I told her no, if she didn't like the sleeping arrangement then she could seek an alternative. So she slept on the couch. The couch was VERY uncomfortable and caused me back pain. Fark that.
 
2012-08-05 04:58:50 PM  
www.entertainmentwallpaper.com

s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com

s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com

s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com
 
2012-08-05 05:01:31 PM  
LandOfChocolate: Divorce her and move on. "Staying together for the kids" is almost never the correct choice as any reputable therapist will tell you. Your kids will pick up on the fact that something isnt right, theyre not oblivious

Also consider the kind of example youre setting for them. They deserve to grow up in a home where two people truly love one another


this this this this this. As somebody whose first marriage was broken because, among reasons, he communicated like a three year old (because his parents refused to divorce but didn't speak to each other and used the kids as pawns , he likely had no idea about what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like), DO NOT STAY TOGETHER FOR THE SAKE OF APPEARANCES OR FOR THE CHILDREN.

Honestly your wife is either asexual (it happens) or a lesbian and very scared of that possibility. there's nothing you can do to change that, especially after 13 years. If you don't want to divorce, at least try to negotiate an open marriage. you only have so much time on this planet, and not that I'm advocating total debauchery, but... you gotta feel something, man.
 
2012-08-05 05:01:57 PM  
blueviking: Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

Well, just curious on that end to see if it was an imbalance of hormones, maybe an adverse reaction to sex (pain during the act), etc.


I would make seeing an endocrinologist and gynecologist a condition before dropping the affair or divorce bomb. Couch it in terms of "Honey, you seem out of sorts." Or have her read "Song of Solomon" if she wants to try and keep claiming recreational sex is prohibited in the Bible. Maybe even several translations until she gets the point. Hang in there, TWF, at least until you feel like you've explored all your options.
 
2012-08-05 05:02:39 PM  
img32.imageshack.us
 
2012-08-05 05:02:43 PM  
"Divorce proceedings coming up on 8 months."

Why in eight months? You know if she has an inkling of a timeline, she's gonna ambush you with either a divorce filing and/or a false domestic violence accusation.

When my ex-wife started talking shiat like this and started speaking of a "test separation" and insisted I move out of the house and in with her dad, I said "fark that noise" and filed for divorce myself. At the time, I thought I wanted it to work out. Looking back, getting out was the best thing I ever did.

And yes, she called the cops on me and told them I was beating her

/ended up getting the house, custody of our son, no alimony. She can rot.
//not bitter, but anyone willing to pull the shiat she deserves deserves nothing.
 
2012-08-05 05:04:42 PM  
OgreMagi: Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.

This....if she wont change her ways, get out.
 
2012-08-05 05:06:12 PM  
LeroyBourne: I wonder about people like you. The girls I've dated, I've always brought that up. I'm a very horny person, and I want it on a daily basis. Hell, I dumped a girl over the lack of sex. I just told her, this isn't working for me, maybe you should go find a guy that dis-likes sex as much as you.

Well, that's pretty much the plan. you want to hook up the freaks on both sides of the spectrum with each other. That way, you don't have two sexual tyrannasauri destroying two other peoples lives or two "sex, meh" types frustrating two other folks.

Throw the ground rules out there, folks. And not just about teh sex.
 
2012-08-05 05:06:33 PM  
world problem anyone?
 
2012-08-05 05:07:35 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).


Just go get a vasectomy without her knowing. Then tell her you would like more kids. Pound it out and tell her god wants us to keep trying.
 
2012-08-05 05:07:46 PM  
radiobiz

Almost two years without sex here. Divorce proceedings been going on for 8 months. I stayed even after I caught her in an affair because I didn't want to destroy the family. We have a son. So I've been miserable for three years thinking I was doing what was best for him. It's sucked. Still sucks and I hate it for my son but I can't wait to have the insane biatch out of my life. What happened? I dunno. We were good for 7 years then she changed. I guess I did too.

I never retaliated for her cheating. I think she has a boyfriend now too but I still won't break my marriage vows. I just pray every day that I can end this nightmare soon and go find some hot divorcee that's as hard up as I am.



I know I don't have to say it, but hang in there and stay positive for your boy. I went through a divorce similar to yours, and now it's just a distant memory. Hope you have a good lawyer, because you can bet your ass she does.
 
2012-08-05 05:09:39 PM  
fragMasterFlash: [img600.imageshack.us image 578x400]

"Who wants MILF and cookies?"


Someday those kids are gonna see that pic and realize mom's high beams are on. LOL
 
2012-08-05 05:11:30 PM  
oops my reading comprehension sucks, I thought you were filing in 8 months. the rest of my post stands
 
2012-08-05 05:11:45 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Get a divorce. A relationship without regular sex is a waste of time, unless there's a damned good reason for it.
 
2012-08-05 05:12:46 PM  
Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!


You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!
 
2012-08-05 05:14:52 PM  
butterflyfart: Just go get a vasectomy without her knowing. Then tell her you would like more kids. Pound it out and tell her god wants us to keep trying.

Newsletter, etc.
 
2012-08-05 05:18:38 PM  
I liked this story better when it was called Anna Karenina.
 
2012-08-05 05:19:55 PM  
airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!


Did you mean "You have no idea what YOU'RE talking about."?
 
2012-08-05 05:20:24 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Hey, my sincere sympathies. Not all women are like your wife. I had a husband with a much lower sex drive than me. (REALLY low!) Being rejected and frozen out sucks. Luckily he had a midlife crisis and left me first. I would never put up with that again with another relationship. Lack of sex affects the relationship's quality and has indirect negative effects on the kids that I couldn't see until after the relationship ended.

/ About the article...selfish, immature men have been having "midlife" crisises for decades...now the selfish, immature women have joined in too.
// As for me...I wonder if so much of society saying men want sex all the time is just a front. I don't think my drive is abnormal but most of the guys I meet honestly have lower drives. TIP: Men...keep your women satisfied - once a week doesn't do it for a healthy women.
 
2012-08-05 05:20:29 PM  
I gotta say, I like the Golden Girls opening theme. Never liked the show, but that theme song is great.
 
2012-08-05 05:21:07 PM  
Maybe they should go on vacation...

flowtv.org

/hot
 
2012-08-05 05:21:13 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).


My girlfriends ex husband would be perfect for her. I think he's asexual. She thinks he might be gay. I don't know and I don't care, but I know one thing, she's a tiger in the sack and that's all that matters.
 
2012-08-05 05:25:44 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Was there no indication of her position, or rather her unwillingness to assume the position, before the wedding?

If it was not, IMHO, you are not obligated to remain physically faithful. If she fails to engage in this very important part of life/marriage she must accept your engaging in it elsewhere. No emotional attachments though.

///I realize that's incredibly unlikely
 
2012-08-05 05:27:15 PM  

GORDON: machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.

You've never been with two twenties, before, have you.


Had both situations. Honestly, the 20 year olds don't do much. You will end up doing most, if not all, the work. The 40 year old in good shape will take what she wants from you.
 
2012-08-05 05:27:38 PM  
airplane_mech2: My girlfriends ex husband would be perfect for her. I think he's asexual. She thinks he might be gay. I don't know and I don't care, but I know one thing, she's a tiger in the sack and that's all that matters.

you sound like my boyfriend. but you're not
 
2012-08-05 05:29:41 PM  
Buffet: airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!

Did you mean "You have no idea what YOU'RE talking about."?


lol. that's the best you got? Whatever
 
2012-08-05 05:30:13 PM  
Death_Poot: "Divorce proceedings coming up on 8 months."

Why in eight months? You know if she has an inkling of a timeline, she's gonna ambush you with either a divorce filing and/or a false domestic violence accusation.

When my ex-wife started talking shiat like this and started speaking of a "test separation" and insisted I move out of the house and in with her dad, I said "fark that noise" and filed for divorce myself. At the time, I thought I wanted it to work out. Looking back, getting out was the best thing I ever did.

And yes, she called the cops on me and told them I was beating her

/ended up getting the house, custody of our son, no alimony. She can rot.
//not bitter, but anyone willing to pull the shiat she deserves deserves nothing.


No no, she filed last January but refuses to settle to anything reasonable or rational. So we're going the trial route. It's taking forever.
 
2012-08-05 05:31:03 PM  
I think the fact that no one mentioned Housewives at Play is a good indication there's hope for Fark after all (either that or no one could find a picture from it that was safe enough to post).
di1-1.shoppingshadow.com
/hot and not in the way you're thinking
 
2012-08-05 05:37:12 PM  

butterflyfart: Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

Just go get a vasectomy without her knowing. Then tell her you would like more kids. Pound it out and tell her god wants us to keep trying.


That won't work as sex for her is just a chore. On the rare occasion she feels guilty enough to offer me the opportunity there is no passion. She just sticks her arse in the air & awaits my completion. She has no interest in foreplay, no interest in being aroused. I might as well be farking a corpse. Passionless sex just plain doesn't work for me.
 
2012-08-05 05:40:16 PM  

flatlinedreams: But when men "regress" and act like irresponsible, reckless juveniles, they're "manchildren". Got it.


No, man-children arent successful adults who regress, as the article discusses with these women.

Man-children are men who dont live their lives to find a wife and work sixty hour weeks supporting children they cant spend time with. the big difference being women complain about man children for simply existing as such 'i cant find a good man because some men who want nothing to do with me exist and thus shrink the pool of potential dates" ridiculous

Still worthy of comparison.
 
2012-08-05 05:42:27 PM  
i.ytimg.com
 
2012-08-05 05:42:43 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Dude, the courts recognize no sex as a valid reason for divorce. File now before she catches you banging a neighbor and takes you to the cleaners. If you don't, youre going to look back at age 50 with a mountain of regrets.

I get it -- you would feel guilty for breaking up the family for "such a selfish reason". Once the kids start having sex, explain why Daddy left then and they'll totally understand.

You need permission? Here: On behalf of the Fark community, I hereby absolve you of any guilt associated with pursuing a normal, healthy relationship.

Now, divorce the fridgid biatch, continue to be an awesome dad, and go find some strange while you can.
 
2012-08-05 05:45:19 PM  

theorellior: fragMasterFlash: "Who wants MILF and cookies?"

Nice bolt-ons.


True, but it beats the hell out of someone who doesn't care about their appearance
 
2012-08-05 05:49:08 PM  

desertfool: Fight back with the bible:

"The husband must fulfill his (sexual) duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another (of sex)." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5


"On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast." Firefly 1:06
 
2012-08-05 05:50:49 PM  

Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!


Know how I know you're a 17 year old virgin?
 
2012-08-05 05:52:11 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


There are no victims, only volunteers....
 
2012-08-05 05:54:21 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


I know everybody's piling on you, but I've read all the posts in this thread and all I'll add is that THIS is the kind of problem the marriage crusaders of the world need to work on. Two gay dudes who get a couple of gold rings and go home and break the bed every night doesn't harm marriage, but women like this are working on killing it. This is why young men and women say, "I don't think marriage is for me." They don't want to get trapped in a situation like this. This is worse than being alone, and even people who haven't experienced it know it and will choose the latter.

Also, yeah, your kids know something's wrong, most kids grow up in broken/incomplete homes. So what? After they grow up do you stay together because you're afraid you'll ruin their childhood memories? Do you owe your kids your entire life?
 
2012-08-05 05:56:27 PM  
img641.imageshack.us
Hello, there.
 
Rat [TotalFark]
2012-08-05 05:57:32 PM  
At my age I just came it to say Giggity.

© and thanks for the memories
 
2012-08-05 05:57:48 PM  

ZombiesYall: Meanwhile, here in my late 30s I prefer to hang out at home with my husband. The only thing we're missing now that we're older is a 420 hookup.


My wife and I are the same age/situation. I do a boys night maybe once a year and her a girls night once every few months. We like hanging out with each other and communicate any brewing problems immediately and generally civilly. This works.

Perhaps that's why we still have lots of sex after 14 years of marriage. Gonna have some later tonight. Had some yesterday morning.

Communication makes good relationships.

And, yes, she is a chick so she's still crazy sometimes but at least she admits it. You've got to extend a little leeway but with limits.

///Loves wife
////Has 420-you need to meet some people who work at restaurants. They all have or know hookups.
 
2012-08-05 05:57:50 PM  

airplane_mech2: fragMasterFlash: [img600.imageshack.us image 578x400]

"Who wants MILF and cookies?"

Someday those kids are gonna see that pic and realize mom's high beams are on. LOL


Her high beams aren't on. Her implants are pushing up on her nipples like the button on a turkey.
That's what happens when you put 300 cc of saline under 100 cc of boob
 
2012-08-05 05:59:22 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).


I had a five year relationship with one of those. wasted years...
We were sexing it up at first, then she shut me down. then at the end she told me she fell out of love because i stopped showing attraction for her body. I told her if someone asks for something and gets 100 nos in a row, they stop asking. id almost become ok with a celibate life too, and it was her who finally pulled the trigger on our deteriorating relationship.

Farkers, run from these women. It wont get better, and life is too short.
 
2012-08-05 05:59:24 PM  

butterflyfart:

Just go get a vasectomy without her knowing. Then tell her you would like more kids. Pound it out and tell her god wants us to keep trying.


Pure WIN!
 
2012-08-05 06:07:02 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: butterflyfart: Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

Just go get a vasectomy without her knowing. Then tell her you would like more kids. Pound it out and tell her god wants us to keep trying.

That won't work as sex for her is just a chore. On the rare occasion she feels guilty enough to offer me the opportunity there is no passion. She just sticks her arse in the air & awaits my completion. She has no interest in foreplay, no interest in being aroused. I might as well be farking a corpse. Passionless sex just plain doesn't work for me.


My gosh man I'm sorry.

And I completely agree. If she's not enjoying it I'm wasting both of our time. My wife knows this and will sometimes respond to sexual overtures with "I will do it if it makes you happy but I'm not in the mood and won't enjoy it ". I've never taken her up on the offer. She doesn't abuse it so I'm fine with it.
 
2012-08-05 06:07:44 PM  

Banned on the Run: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Dude, the courts recognize no sex as a valid reason for divorce. File now before she catches you banging a neighbor and takes you to the cleaners. If you don't, youre going to look back at age 50 with a mountain of regrets.

I get it -- you would feel guilty for breaking up the family for "such a selfish reason". Once the kids start having sex, explain why Daddy left then and they'll totally understand.

You need permission? Here: On behalf of the Fark community, I hereby absolve you of any guilt associated with pursuing a normal, healthy relationship.

Now, divorce the fridgid biatch, continue to be an awesome dad, and go find some strange while you can.


Others have said this, but I'll reiterate.
What's going to fark your kids up more: living in a divorced family, or thinking that parents who show absolutely no affection to one another and resent each other is normal and is how their adult relationships should be. They sense WAAAAY more than you think they do, even at a young age.
 
2012-08-05 06:12:40 PM  

notatrollorami: My wife and I are the same age/situation. I do a boys night maybe once a year and her a girls night once every few months. We like hanging out with each other and communicate any brewing problems immediately and generally civilly. This works.

Perhaps that's why we still have lots of sex after 14 years of marriage. Gonna have some later tonight. Had some yesterday morning.



Well done dude.
Yes, you may not be boning each other most of the time, but having lots of sex with other people after 14 married years together seems to work for you and if keeps you hanging out with each other, who am I to judge. Getting some in the morning and nights is rare for someone married so long, and you're fortunate your wife isn't jealous of your hookups.

Also, kudos to you both for supporting each other in your occasional same sex dalliances. Do you watch or participate in each others "boys" and "girls" nights, or is it just kept to one gender?
 
2012-08-05 06:13:19 PM  

airplane_mech2: Buffet: airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!

Did you mean "You have no idea what YOU'RE talking about."?

lol. that's the best you got? Whatever


Did you mean "....the best YOU'VE got?"
 
2012-08-05 06:14:48 PM  
Thanks for all the advise farkers, I've got a lot to think about - but hey, at least there'll be no distractions! (hope someone got a chuckle from that, I know I sure as shiat didn't)...
 
2012-08-05 06:18:43 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: Thanks for all the advise farkers, I've got a lot to think about - but hey, at least there'll be no distractions! (hope someone got a chuckle from that, I know I sure as shiat didn't)...


You may only get one go at life, so don't waste it ... whatever you choose to do try to enjoy it.
 
2012-08-05 06:21:58 PM  
Don't stay for the kid's sake! It didn't take long for my son to realize his mom used him during the separation/divorce. It seems she still tries to manipulate him, but, he ignores most of it. Took longer for my daughter to come around and it's harder for her. She lives with her mom.

Divorce sucks for all, but hurts the kids most.
 
2012-08-05 06:25:20 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: Thanks for all the advise farkers, I've got a lot to think about - but hey, at least there'll be no distractions! (hope someone got a chuckle from that, I know I sure as shiat didn't)...


Good luck, dude. I hope you can find your way out of the situation you're in and get some happiness.

And if it makes you feel any better...don't stay with her for the kid's sake. My parents tried to do that and it was miserable for me. I thank providence every day that my dad finally had enough and divorced my mom.
 
2012-08-05 06:27:03 PM  

GORDON: machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.

You've never been with two twenties, before, have you.



Oh look, another internet showoff. Look if you have to come in and brag about how much milf tail and 3-somes you are in on an internet website, then you're a lying loser.
 
2012-08-05 06:27:25 PM  
Jumbled the last.

Divorce does hurt kids the most - robs them of security, familiarity, and stable home. But, staying in a loveless "black hole of Calcutta" marriage is infinitely worse.

/brain & fingers not cooperating.
//need more scotch!
 
2012-08-05 06:27:34 PM  
"ing" subby? What is this "ing" of which you speak?
 
2012-08-05 06:33:12 PM  
Man, after reading TFA, all I could think about was spoiled little brat kids who grow up in age but never maturity, they have the ultimate first world problems. They're really making great impressions on their kids.
 
2012-08-05 06:44:13 PM  
I'm all for this.
 
2012-08-05 06:44:57 PM  

Chariset: Sympathy... I don't has it.

Has it never entered the minds of these women to get out of their suburban bubble once in a while and go help people with real problems?


No.

This is what 40 years of self-esteem boosting and avoiding responsibility gets us. Whiny 40-somethings who can't IMAGINE what they should do with their lives, but know that it's still supposed to be all about them and f*ck their spouses and kids.
 
2012-08-05 06:50:53 PM  
"The tedium of raising children, she says, is driving moms in her circle out at night to party to the extreme as if they were 25 again"

"Driving"? They are blaming the children for thier stupidity? You wanna do dumb shiat, go for it. At least own up to it.
 
2012-08-05 06:53:38 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


They should make everyone watch American Beauty before they get married.
 
2012-08-05 06:53:45 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I see they haven't tried getting jobs to stave off some of that boredom...

/must be nice


Not only didn't RTFA, didn't even read the section you quoted. lol
 
2012-08-05 06:56:05 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Either divorce, or introduce her to swingers or polyamory.
 
2012-08-05 06:57:12 PM  

MorePeasPlease: notatrollorami: My wife and I are the same age/situation. I do a boys night maybe once a year and her a girls night once every few months. We like hanging out with each other and communicate any brewing problems immediately and generally civilly. This works.

Perhaps that's why we still have lots of sex after 14 years of marriage. Gonna have some later tonight. Had some yesterday morning.


Well done dude.
Yes, you may not be boning each other most of the time, but having lots of sex with other people after 14 married years together seems to work for you and if keeps you hanging out with each other, who am I to judge. Getting some in the morning and nights is rare for someone married so long, and you're fortunate your wife isn't jealous of your hookups.

Also, kudos to you both for supporting each other in your occasional same sex dalliances. Do you watch or participate in each others "boys" and "girls" nights, or is it just kept to one gender?


+1

Figured I'd catch some shiat for sounding braggy in a thread like this.

Instead you brought the lulz.
 
2012-08-05 07:00:53 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: Thanks for all the advise farkers, I've got a lot to think about - but hey, at least there'll be no distractions! (hope someone got a chuckle from that, I know I sure as shiat didn't)...


Best of luck to you. Whatever you decide you'll be better off in the end for having changed an unlivable situation.

///Crosses fingers for you.
 
2012-08-05 07:02:40 PM  
Has 420-you need to meet some people who work at restaurants. They all have or know hookups.

Ha! I forgot about that, thanks.
 
2012-08-05 07:11:34 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).


She probably would actually dig it if you were like "This is my marriage, I am taking charge here." Not like, marriage rape or anything. But she's probs screaming for a submissive role.
 
2012-08-05 07:14:37 PM  

charmbomb: Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

She probably would actually dig it if you were like "This is my marriage, I am taking charge here." Not like, marriage rape or anything. But she's probs screaming for a submissive role.


I was married for nearly five years before I discovered that my wife really just wanted to be thrown down and farked. I used to spend half the day hinting at what I wanted, now I just tell her what we're going to do. Probably a downside to this somewhere, but I haven't found it yet.
 
2012-08-05 07:20:24 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: butterflyfart: Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

Just go get a vasectomy without her knowing. Then tell her you would like more kids. Pound it out and tell her god wants us to keep trying.

That won't work as sex for her is just a chore. On the rare occasion she feels guilty enough to offer me the opportunity there is no passion. She just sticks her arse in the air & awaits my completion. She has no interest in foreplay, no interest in being aroused. I might as well be farking a corpse. Passionless sex just plain doesn't work for me.


Anal. No lube.
 
2012-08-05 07:37:16 PM  

LandOfChocolate: Xtian


Thoroughly With Foil: Xtian


My parents got divorced. Very tough on my brothers and sisters, much more so afterwards than before.

If you can deal with it, you're doing the best thing for your kids. Carry on and Godspeed.
 
2012-08-05 07:37:36 PM  

intelligent comment below: GORDON: machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.

You've never been with two twenties, before, have you.

Oh look, another internet showoff. Look if you have to come in and brag about how much milf tail and 3-somes you are in on an internet website, then you're a lying loser.


I just turned 39, my girlfriend just turned 24... Based on the fun I've been having with her VS the hell-relationship I had with the 40 year old ex-girlfriend prior to her... I'm going to say that he's on to something.
 
2012-08-05 07:41:41 PM  

rogue_L_chick: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

I'm just going to say it...you should cheat with one of those neighbor's wives. Honestly, you've already screwed the pooch on this marriage. You married a woman you don't like, but are not quite sure you really want to divorce. That shiat's hard. So, you cheat, she gets angry...you either have the Talk and "reach a new level" in your relationship, or it's the TNT that finally blows that shiat part, and you didn't have to bother being the one to file. Who cares if it's the shiatty thing to do...isn't what you're describing already a really shiatty, useless situation? Why bother with the "right thing". Just do what you need to do-why concern yourself with "right" when she doesn't care enough to bother with you?

That's my 1 1/2 cents. Then again, I'm not married. Going on 10 years with my fella, and and I'm still getting laid like a motherfarker. Then again, we never shut up about the shiat we think about. You non talkative people confuse me.


I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. If she's just not capable of it somehow, she should not be married. It is unreasonable to tell someone that you are the only place they are allowed to go to meet their needs, if you are not actually going to meet their needs.
 
2012-08-05 07:50:14 PM  

Dark Overlord: Jumbled the last.

Divorce does hurt kids the most - robs them of security, familiarity, and stable home. But, staying in a loveless "black hole of Calcutta" marriage is infinitely worse.

/brain & fingers not cooperating.
//need more scotch!


Staying in a loveless, hate-filled marriage so your kids can have a "stable home" is not giving them a stable home. Anyone who thinks that kids are better off with two parents who can't speak to one another, lash out in verbal or physical violence, or drink themselves into a stupor so they don't have to deal with each other--needs to pull their head out of their ass

My parents divorced when I was 14, and yeah, me and my sisters had some issues. But I had friends whose parents SHOULD have divorced but "stuck it out" for the "sake of the kids" and they ended up with ISSUES.
 
2012-08-05 07:54:51 PM  

red5ish: I have a feeling that these women were never far removed from being bored, self-centered and poorly behaved at any point in their lives. Calling it regressive suggests that they had, at some point, advanced beyond this behavior; I'm not convinced.


Nailed it.
 
2012-08-05 08:08:24 PM  

GORDON: You've never been with two twenties, before, have you.


No, and I bet you haven't either.
 
2012-08-05 08:12:44 PM  

Granolabar: rogue_L_chick: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

I'm just going to say it...you should cheat with one of those neighbor's wives. Honestly, you've already screwed the pooch on this marriage. You married a woman you don't like, but are not quite sure you really want to divorce. That shiat's hard. So, you cheat, she gets angry...you either have the Talk and "reach a new level" in your relationship, or it's the TNT that finally blows that shiat part, and you didn't have to bother being the one to file. Who cares if it's the shiatty thing to do...isn't what you're describing already a really shiatty, useless situation? Why bother with the "right thing". Just do what you need to do-why concern yourself with "right" when she doesn't care enough to bother with you?

That's my 1 1/2 cents. Then again, I'm not married. Going on 10 years with my fella, and and I'm still getting laid like a motherfarker. Then again, we never shut up about the shiat we think about. You non talkative people confuse me.

I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. ..


Sex is a part of being human. Leave it to the church to fark up something so simple. Would not stay married to church lady.
 
2012-08-05 08:16:29 PM  

LowbrowDeluxe: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I love all the butt-hurt man-failures in the thread who can't even read the three sentences they quoted.


Lol k, cupcake.
 
2012-08-05 08:18:15 PM  

hammettman: Granolabar: rogue_L_chick: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

I'm just going to say it...you should cheat with one of those neighbor's wives. Honestly, you've already screwed the pooch on this marriage. You married a woman you don't like, but are not quite sure you really want to divorce. That shiat's hard. So, you cheat, she gets angry...you either have the Talk and "reach a new level" in your relationship, or it's the TNT that finally blows that shiat part, and you didn't have to bother being the one to file. Who cares if it's the shiatty thing to do...isn't what you're describing already a really shiatty, useless situation? Why bother with the "right thing". Just do what you need to do-why concern yourself with "right" when she doesn't care enough to bother with you?

That's my 1 1/2 cents. Then again, I'm not married. Going on 10 years with my fella, and and I'm still getting laid like a motherfarker. Then again, we never shut up about the shiat we think about. You non talkative people confuse me.

I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. ..

Sex is a part of being human. Leave it to the church to fark up something so simple. Would not stay married to church lady.


I just wouldn't marry a guy who wouldn't have sex with me before the wedding. Seems like a bad sign of things to come.
 
2012-08-05 08:20:18 PM  

geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce


This isn't the 50's, all but one state has no-fault divorce with no grounds necessary, and things like affairs and withholding sex don't change the monetary splits or alimony in favor of anyone. It would be grounds for annulment, but the timeframes for that are generally extremely strict (unless you're the King of England and don't starting your own church, though killing them turned out to be much simpler anyway) and frowned upon when shared assets and children exist.
 
2012-08-05 08:21:33 PM  

Granolabar: I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. If she's just not capable of it somehow, she should not be married. It is unreasonable to tell someone that you are the only place they are allowed to go to meet their needs, if you are not actually going to meet their needs.


Dunno, 2+ decades of being told by her religious beliefs that sex is dirty, bad, and sinful is a hell of a lot of damage to undo. You should find one of those churches (I think they exist) that preaches that husbands and wives should be intimate on every occasion, and Jesus would be really pissed otherwise.
 
2012-08-05 08:22:33 PM  

I Am The Bishop Of East Anglia: red5ish: I have a feeling that these women were never far removed from being bored, self-centered and poorly behaved at any point in their lives. Calling it regressive suggests that they had, at some point, advanced beyond this behavior; I'm not convinced.

Nailed it.


It's only regressive because they TRIED to be less selfish and rude for a few years. So they progressed in much the same way a baby who still wets the bed at night can make it to the potty in the daytime.
 
2012-08-05 08:22:37 PM  
When I was living in Lake Arrowhead, the MILFs were swapping sons.
 
2012-08-05 08:24:32 PM  
Regarding the article, wow, that was some rambly self-centered drivel that ultimately faded out, with an obvious hard turn question for a conclusion when the author realized she actually had nothing to say on the topic at all. A few tame anecdotes about acting like an idiot at the bar and see strangers cruising for drunken hookups aren't exactly on par with explosive tell-all revelations of upper class bluebloods holding rockstar orgies and acting like teenagers in a Larry Clark movie.
 
2012-08-05 08:26:02 PM  

Koodz: charmbomb: Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

She probably would actually dig it if you were like "This is my marriage, I am taking charge here." Not like, marriage rape or anything. But she's probs screaming for a submissive role.

I was married for nearly five years before I discovered that my wife really just wanted to be thrown down and farked. I used to spend half the day hinting at what I wanted, now I just tell her what we're going to do. Probably a downside to this somewhere, but I haven't found it yet.


At some point even if it backfires, there aren't too many other options.

Personally, we just have sex with other people. I'm 26, he's 27. We have the "normal" life. Loving decade long relationship, a toddler, two paid off sedans, just bought a house. Every few months we get a hotel room, spoil the shiat out of each other with nice dinner, spa, fancy drinks by the pool, and have a threesome (or something). Couldn't be happier with how it's working out.
 
2012-08-05 08:27:58 PM  

Blink: Granolabar: I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. If she's just not capable of it somehow, she should not be married. It is unreasonable to tell someone that you are the only place they are allowed to go to meet their needs, if you are not actually going to meet their needs.

Dunno, 2+ decades of being told by her religious beliefs that sex is dirty, bad, and sinful is a hell of a lot of damage to undo. You should find one of those churches (I think they exist) that preaches that husbands and wives should be intimate on every occasion, and Jesus would be really pissed otherwise.


I agree, I'm not saying it's her fault. But she's obviously got a huge hangup about sex, and doesn't seem to see any reason to change that. So, either he lives in silent, celibate, resentment for the rest of his life, or they get a divorce.
 
2012-08-05 08:29:03 PM  

radiobiz: Almost two years without sex here. Divorce proceedings been going on for 8 months. I stayed even after I caught her in an affair because I didn't want to destroy the family. We have a son. So I've been miserable for three years thinking I was doing what was best for him. It's sucked. Still sucks and I hate it for my son but I can't wait to have the insane biatch out of my life. What happened? I dunno. We were good for 7 years then she changed. I guess I did too.

I never retaliated for her cheating. I think she has a boyfriend now too but I still won't break my marriage vows. I just pray every day that I can end this nightmare soon and go find some hot divorcee that's as hard up as I am.


I feel for you. Ive found myself in a similar situation, but its less "keeping the family together" vs "Im terrified that crazy will get custody"

/Sigh... whats so hard about being faithful?
 
2012-08-05 08:31:00 PM  

machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.


Bizarre, I've always heard this joke as "Why chase the ten, when you can have so much more fun with two fives?"

This variation on the joke doesn't even work if you forget to put the age in!

/High mileage women are at least as uninhibited as the fat girl stereotype, and they definitely rank higher. You better be willing to give them a good long time, though, no wham-bam-thank you ma'am.
 
2012-08-05 08:41:36 PM  

GilRuiz1: desertfool: Thoroughly With Foil: desertfool & GilRuiz1 - thanks!

/just emailed the link to her now
//maybe some fireworks tonight...
///or just farking rockets & bombs

I thought it was funny that we almost had a simulpost quoting the same scripture.

And I'm an atheist!


*internet high-five*


Right back at ya!
 
2012-08-05 08:42:04 PM  

Gyrfalcon: My parents divorced when I was 14, and yeah, me and my sisters had some issues. But I had friends whose parents SHOULD have divorced but "stuck it out" for the "sake of the kids" and they ended up with ISSUES.


At the very least, people are looking for issues with divorced kids, and will by default try to help them deal with it, whereas children with married parents aren't scrutinized nearly as much for signs of trauma.
 
2012-08-05 08:46:18 PM  

Krieghund: I'm a stay at home dad, and I have yet to meet these women. If you see them, send them my way.

In the meantime, I'll be masturbating excessively.


You have to look around a bit. Or, your plan works too.
 
2012-08-05 08:53:12 PM  

Granolabar: Blink: Granolabar: I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. If she's just not capable of it somehow, she should not be married. It is unreasonable to tell someone that you are the only place they are allowed to go to meet their needs, if you are not actually going to meet their needs.

Dunno, 2+ decades of being told by her religious beliefs that sex is dirty, bad, and sinful is a hell of a lot of damage to undo. You should find one of those churches (I think they exist) that preaches that husbands and wives should be intimate on every occasion, and Jesus would be really pissed otherwise.

I agree, I'm not saying it's her fault. But she's obviously got a huge hangup about sex, and doesn't seem to see any reason to change that. So, either he lives in silent, celibate, resentment for the rest of his life, or they get a divorce.


Yes, something tells me that super-strict religious lady isn't going to roll over and accept the idea of extracurricular activities. Even if she says OK, she'll be hell-bent on sabotaging everything from that point forward, and will never see him as a person to be trusted or respected again. Much cleaner and better for all to get the divorce now, rather than get it two years from now when your woman hates you and wants to see you suffer and burn.
 
2012-08-05 08:59:59 PM  
The author of this piece can regress with me anytime. Bonus points if she lets my wife join in.

i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2012-08-05 09:02:44 PM  

Alonjar: radiobiz: Almost two years without sex here. Divorce proceedings been going on for 8 months. I stayed even after I caught her in an affair because I didn't want to destroy the family...

I feel for you. Ive found myself in a similar situation, but its less "keeping the family together" vs "Im terrified that crazy will get custody"

/Sigh... whats so hard about being faithful?


I don't know. I've asked mysel that a lot too.

Custody is my big issue too. Overall shes a pretty good mom. All I want is 50/50 - seems to me that max time with both parents is what's best for my son. My STBX however, realizing the only way she can hurt me anymore is through our son, continues to pursue full custody with me getting the visitation every other weekend thing. Yeah, not happening. I'm a good dad and I'm not doing that too my son. I remember how much it sucked when I was a kid and I only got to see my dad the first and third weekends - plus dinner on Wednesday nights.
 
2012-08-05 09:14:01 PM  

airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!


This.

Besides, older women are fine, once you get past the used part :)
 
2012-08-05 09:27:22 PM  
So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.
 
2012-08-05 09:33:44 PM  

PunGent: airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!

This.

Besides, older women are fine, once you get past the used up part :)


FTFY
 
2012-08-05 09:39:30 PM  

radiobiz: Alonjar: radiobiz: Almost two years without sex here. Divorce proceedings been going on for 8 months. I stayed even after I caught her in an affair because I didn't want to destroy the family...

I feel for you. Ive found myself in a similar situation, but its less "keeping the family together" vs "Im terrified that crazy will get custody"

/Sigh... whats so hard about being faithful?

I don't know. I've asked mysel that a lot too.

Custody is my big issue too. Overall shes a pretty good mom. All I want is 50/50 - seems to me that max time with both parents is what's best for my son. My STBX however, realizing the only way she can hurt me anymore is through our son, continues to pursue full custody with me getting the visitation every other weekend thing. Yeah, not happening. I'm a good dad and I'm not doing that too my son. I remember how much it sucked when I was a kid and I only got to see my dad the first and third weekends - plus dinner on Wednesday nights.


Just from a woman's point of view: If she's using your kid to get to you, she is NOT a good mom.
 
2012-08-05 09:40:22 PM  

Zizzowop: So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.


Part of the fun is in exploring and finding those new things that keep pushing the pleasure that little bit higher. New couple sex is fun, but when you know how each other get your engines going...
 
2012-08-05 09:43:56 PM  
MILF: Man, I love fritos!
 
2012-08-05 09:56:41 PM  

SR_NightBane: Zizzowop: So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.

Part of the fun is in exploring and finding those new things that keep pushing the pleasure that little bit higher. New couple sex is fun, but when you know how each other get your engines going...


I agree, wish my ex understood that, but lucky for me I got out before we got married or had any kids.
 
2012-08-05 10:03:30 PM  
40-somethings are hot, have always been this way; surprised this is news. Is Ric Romero ghost-writing?
 
2012-08-05 10:06:41 PM  

Zizzowop: So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.


The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.
 
2012-08-05 10:21:58 PM  

chicagogasman: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?
/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me
There are no victims, only volunteers....


Wow, that was helpful.
 
2012-08-05 10:29:41 PM  

Thoroughly With Foil: rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.

Did you not know this before you married her?

It's funny I didn't, because she would do 'other' things that (while not full-blown intercourse, certainly) were not things a 'Good Christian girl' would do before marriage. But she did make me wait for intercourse until after we were married, & yes, I was her first. Later on, I asked her about her pre-marriage behavior being in conflict with her beliefs & she told me she felt pressured because she didn't want me to leave :/

But the trouble started right away - no sex the night of the wedding (granted we were both very tired & she had 10,000 pins in her hair) but then it became no sex the week of the honeymoon, etc... We eventually went to counseling (I was eventually dismissed as I was told 2 things: 1) There was nothing wrong with me. 2) Don't waste my life.

Honestly, I interpreted the 2nd part as having to do with my (then 20-something) level of partying, now I believe the counselor was talking about divorce. Unfortunately the sessions ended when my wife came home in tears (it got to the point where they told her something was wrong with her, as she doesn't have the capability to feel passion or lust whatsoever). One thing I won't stand for is any woman (but especially mine) crying - makes me want to hurt the person who did it. I know it wasn't fake (she didn't 'turn the waterworks on', etc) but it has allowed her to drop the issue.

We have 2 kids & I just don't think I ca ...


fark that. That's insane. Period. And, yes, I"m talking about you.
 
2012-08-05 10:45:09 PM  
Personally, I like my drugs before the sex. Unless the drug is an opiate. Because after taking opiates, I won't be having any sex at all. All I would do is sit quietly in my chair and drool.
 
2012-08-05 11:01:09 PM  

charmbomb: Zizzowop: So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.

The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.


So, you've never found anyone boring. How boring.
 
2012-08-05 11:32:14 PM  
I guess I am doing it wrong. My day away from my kid was spent hauling some junk to the attic for my elderly mother and clearing out some of the poison ivy from her yard.


/stay-at-home mom until I find a job
 
2012-08-05 11:33:57 PM  

charmbomb: The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.


Just so you know, that quote was in my AARP magazine this month.
 
2012-08-05 11:43:33 PM  

Zizzowop: charmbomb: Zizzowop: So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.

The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.

So, you've never found anyone boring. How boring.


No, I've had two boyfriends in my life, and I've never been bored in that arena...
If you get bored, take the initiative and spice things up. That's all. If your attempts fail, it's generally not the sex that is the issue.

/also, getting comfortable with someone doesn't equal boredom.

Gramma: charmbomb: The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.

Just so you know, that quote was in my AARP magazine this month.


That's farking brilliant. In all seriousness.
 
2012-08-06 12:23:10 AM  
This thread has made me terrified about the sanctity of my marriage. Thanks, Internet!

/but you'll always be able to say "at least I'm not as farked up as that one guy"
//we all know who that guy is in this thread
 
2012-08-06 12:29:40 AM  
I'm a 38 year old married woman with 2 small kids and full time career outside the home.

My opinion on this book: when will women finally learn that the solution to their lack of fulfillment most likely won't be found through getting sexual attention from some man? That fulfillment has to come from within?

/for the guy who isn't getting laid: it isn't very christianlike for HER to get what she wants from YOU in the marriage while refusing to keep her part of the deal.
 
2012-08-06 12:30:16 AM  

OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.


Seconded. With a vengeance.
 
2012-08-06 12:34:26 AM  

Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!


Noticed a distinct lack of pics in your profile boy...
 
2012-08-06 12:36:30 AM  

que.guero: As someone dating a recently-divorced woman in her mid-30s, I would be getting a kick out of these replies if I could find the key to the handcuffs...


Bwahahaha!
 
2012-08-06 12:39:52 AM  

desertfool: Thoroughly With Foil: rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.

Did you not know this before you married her?

It's funny I didn't, because she would do 'other' things that (while not full-blown intercourse, certainly) were not things a 'Good Christian girl' would do before marriage. But she did make me wait for intercourse until after we were married, & yes, I was her first. Later on, I asked her about her pre-marriage behavior being in conflict with her beliefs & she told me she felt pressured because she didn't want me to leave :/

But the trouble started right away - no sex the night of the wedding (granted we were both very tired & she had 10,000 pins in her hair) but then it became no sex the week of the honeymoon, etc... We eventually went to counseling (I was eventually dismissed as I was told 2 things: 1) There was nothing wrong with me. 2) Don't waste my life.

Honestly, I interpreted the 2nd part as having to do with my (then 20-something) level of partying, now I believe the counselor was talking about divorce. Unfortunately the sessions ended when my wife came home in tears (it got to the point where they told her something was wrong with her, as she doesn't have the capability to feel passion or lust whatsoever). One thing I won't stand for is any woman (but especially mine) crying - makes me want to hurt the person who did it. I know it wasn't fake (she didn't 'turn the waterworks on', etc) but it has allowed her to drop the issue.

We have 2 kids & I just don't think I ca ...

Fight back with the bible:

"The husband must fulfill his (sexual) duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another (of sex)." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5


I just threw up in my mouth, a lot!
 
2012-08-06 12:40:32 AM  
These women sound like they're still the ditzy partygirls they were back when they were young. Having a child doesn't make you wiser nor does getting older.

They sure as hell weren't playing D&D when they were young.
 
2012-08-06 12:47:33 AM  

Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!


Two twenties- is that what the backseat special costs these days?
 
2012-08-06 12:55:02 AM  

FunkOut: These women sound like they're still the ditzy partygirls they were back when they were young. Having a child doesn't make you wiser nor does getting older.

They sure as hell weren't playing D&D when they were young.



Nah they sound like gold diggers who do nothing all day while the husbands are exhausted from working 16 hours and come home to drink a beer and relax. Of course they get bored and let their thoughts run wild, with the internet and tv/movies helping to breed their imaginations and make up for their lack of self esteem because they are nothing in life but baby machines.
 
2012-08-06 01:11:48 AM  

Thoroughly With Foil: rustypouch: OgreMagi: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

Just tell her flat out, "if you don't put out, I will find someone who will." Being faithful is the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but you are only human and have certain expectations in marriage.

Did you not know this before you married her?

It's funny I didn't, because she would do 'other' things that (while not full-blown intercourse, certainly) were not things a 'Good Christian girl' would do before marriage. But she did make me wait for intercourse until after we were married, & yes, I was her first. Later on, I asked her about her pre-marriage behavior being in conflict with her beliefs & she told me she felt pressured because she didn't want me to leave :/

But the trouble started right away - no sex the night of the wedding (granted we were both very tired & she had 10,000 pins in her hair) but then it became no sex the week of the honeymoon, etc... We eventually went to counseling (I was eventually dismissed as I was told 2 things: 1) There was nothing wrong with me. 2) Don't waste my life.

Honestly, I interpreted the 2nd part as having to do with my (then 20-something) level of partying, now I believe the counselor was talking about divorce. Unfortunately the sessions ended when my wife came home in tears (it got to the point where they told her something was wrong with her, as she doesn't have the capability to feel passion or lust whatsoever). One thing I won't stand for is any woman (but especially mine) crying - makes me want to hurt the person who did it. I know it wasn't fake (she didn't 'turn the waterworks on', etc) but it has allowed her to drop the issue.

We have 2 kids & I just don't think I ca ...


buy her a good vibrator, show her how good it can be, eventually she will be jumping your bones nightly
 
2012-08-06 02:07:21 AM  

intelligent comment below: FunkOut: These women sound like they're still the ditzy partygirls they were back when they were young. Having a child doesn't make you wiser nor does getting older.

They sure as hell weren't playing D&D when they were young.


Nah they sound like gold diggers who do nothing all day while the husbands are exhausted from working 16 hours and come home to drink a beer and relax. Of course they get bored and let their thoughts run wild, with the internet and tv/movies helping to breed their imaginations and make up for their lack of self esteem because they are nothing in life but baby machines.


Like I said, ditzy partygirls.

Those guys should have picked better women.
 
2012-08-06 04:26:10 AM  

Granolabar: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Two twenties- is that what the backseat special costs these days?


Good question. Not sure about pricing or even precisely what one entails. Might vary according to location? For instance Iowa vs. New York.
 
2012-08-06 05:48:51 AM  

FunkOut: Like I said, ditzy partygirls.

Those guys should have picked better women.


I used to live in this mountain tourist community where well-off guys would buy houses for their wives and kids, and then only visit on the weekends, sometimes only twice a month, sometimes just once a month. Most of the wives were pretty nice women, but it gets boring living on a mountaintop, and after awhile, you succumb to temptation.

Some of the women try for a career of their own. Some of the ones I knew wrote stories, got into mail order, or opened little cozy cafes. But others were just overwhelmed by the loneliness and as soon as the hubby drove out of the driveway, would call their boyfriends.
 
2012-08-06 07:02:08 AM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


the WHOLE POINT of Xtianity is to tell everyone you're not supposed to do anything fun, but then do fun things and say oh well.
 
2012-08-06 08:50:24 AM  
This behaviour would stop almost completely if they started requiring paternity tests before putting the father on the Birth Certificate.
 
2012-08-06 09:26:11 AM  

charmbomb: No, I've had two boyfriends in my life, and I've never been bored in that arena...
If you get bored, take the initiative and spice things up. That's all. If your attempts fail, it's generally not the sex that is the issue.


I'm pretty sure a middle school romance doesn't count. By your own admission, you're 26 years old and have been in a relationship with the same guy for the last 10 years.
 
2012-08-06 10:03:28 AM  

foxyshadis: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This isn't the 50's, all but one state has no-fault divorce with no grounds necessary, and things like affairs and withholding sex don't change the monetary splits or alimony in favor of anyone. It would be grounds for annulment, but the timeframes for that are generally extremely strict (unless you're the King of England and don't starting your own church, though killing them turned out to be much simpler anyway) and frowned upon when shared assets and children exist.


I wasn't speaking about legal grounds. I know that's pretty outdated. I mean relationship-wise.

After my wife and I began dating, when our relationship began to get more physical, we had a frank and open discussion about sex. I made sure she understood that I couldn't love her and not want her, and couldn't want her and not have her. I'm not trying to live with that kind of torture. She knew, before we ever had sex, that sex had to be part of our relationship and if it weren't I wasn't going to be able to handle it, which would mean not having much of a relationship at all.
 
2012-08-06 10:05:11 AM  

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me



I'd like to suggest you read Athol Kay's blog
Link

Sound like you have some work to go through with her, and as someone suggested, she might just be really passive/submissive. At least you're in shape, which will help.
 
2012-08-06 10:09:33 AM  

intelligent comment below: FunkOut: These women sound like they're still the ditzy partygirls they were back when they were young. Having a child doesn't make you wiser nor does getting older.

They sure as hell weren't playing D&D when they were young.


Nah they sound like gold diggers who do nothing all day while the husbands are exhausted from working 16 hours and come home to drink a beer and relax. Of course they get bored and let their thoughts run wild, with the internet and tv/movies helping to breed their imaginations and make up for their lack of self esteem because they are nothing in life but baby machines.


FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

Seriously, the reading comprehension thing has been pointed out no less than a dozen times in this thread already. Yet still plenty of Farkers tripping all over themselves to show that they're the dumbest of them all.
 
2012-08-06 10:09:39 AM  
I would not mind finding one who wanted to fark, but would really like to leave out the grass and coke
 
2012-08-06 10:17:55 AM  

basemetal: Meh, a midlife crisis by any other name is still just a midlife crisis.


THIS.
 
2012-08-06 10:31:08 AM  

radiobiz: I just pray every day that I can end this nightmare soon and go find some hot divorcee that's as hard up as I am.


You can, and you will. I wish you success in this. It's no damned good.

kvinesknows: buy her a good vibrator, show her how good it can be, eventually she will be jumping your bones nightly


I doubt it's that simple. She is probably physically capable of orgasm, most women are, but there's some deep-seated psychological business going on that's preventing her from allowing herself to enjoy it or seek it out.
 
2012-08-06 10:38:54 AM  
This seems kinda relevant. I have a sincere question. I've never dated much, most of mine were simply met through college or school. I've dabbled in eharmony but haven't payed for it yet.

How the #%*^ does one meet women? I'm not rich, I'm not famous, I'm not particularly good looking. And I'm completely clueless. I don't want to meet 'the one' or even just have a bang buddy. I just want to date a little. If either of those happen, great. If not, I'd just like to have a good time and not bore someone to tears doing it.

I know it's a bizarre question, but hey, I've always wondered.
 
2012-08-06 10:39:43 AM  

KawaiiNot: Lack of sex affects the relationship's quality and has indirect negative effects on the kids that I couldn't see until after the relationship ended.


You got that right. I went from monthly to quarterly to annual to none-for-a-year. I stayed in it "for the kids" until my son (then 6) asked me "Daddy, how come you look so sad all the time?" And, "Daddy, how come mommy's always telling you what to do but you never tell her what to do?"

See, some women fark because they think it'll make a man stay, then they fark for the ring, then for the house, then for some kids, but once they've got all the items on their checklist, they stop farking. Some women fark because they like farking. Even if you've had some argument and they're pissed at you, they still might get horny and want to fark, because they like to fark.

The real challenge is telling the one from the other before you're stuck in the joyless, loveless marriage with the kids and the mortgage.

I divorced the hateful coont to whom I gave 14 years. I've since remarried a mature divorcee who LOVES to fark, loves my children (and they love her), and while it's been hard on the kids, it's better than the alternative of giving them a relationship model in which it's just one party giving the other to-do lists and no love or affection evar.
 
2012-08-06 10:42:42 AM  

LandOfChocolate: Make no mistake:

Your wife is abusing you.

She knows that she can treat you like this while holding your marriage hostage.

Divorce her and move on. "Staying together for the kids" is almost never the correct choice as any reputable therapist will tell you. Your kids will pick up on the fact that something isnt right, theyre not oblivious

Also consider the kind of example youre setting for them. They deserve to grow up in a home where two people truly love one another




Meine Gott in Himmel! This is my very thought and experience. You are correct, Citizen, and I only saw this after offering my own story above.
 
2012-08-06 11:00:34 AM  

kroonermanblack: This seems kinda relevant. I have a sincere question. I've never dated much, most of mine were simply met through college or school. I've dabbled in eharmony but haven't payed for it yet.

How the #%*^ does one meet women? I'm not rich, I'm not famous, I'm not particularly good looking. And I'm completely clueless. I don't want to meet 'the one' or even just have a bang buddy. I just want to date a little. If either of those happen, great. If not, I'd just like to have a good time and not bore someone to tears doing it.

I know it's a bizarre question, but hey, I've always wondered.


You live in a populated area. Look up singles events for your local area. Events like that remove any ambiguity as to why you and the other people are there. If you aren't very good at recognizing social cues, this does the work for you.
 
2012-08-06 11:02:22 AM  

charmbomb: Zizzowop: charmbomb: Zizzowop: So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.

The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.

So, you've never found anyone boring. How boring.

No, I've had two boyfriends in my life, and I've never been bored in that arena...
If you get bored, take the initiative and spice things up. That's all. If your attempts fail, it's generally not the sex that is the issue.

/also, getting comfortable with someone doesn't equal boredom.

Gramma: charmbomb: The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.

Just so you know, that quote was in my AARP magazine this month.

That's farking brilliant. In all seriousness.


Wait, I know this thread is long since dead, but what? You've had two boyfriends in your life. And you're a swinger? Am I misremembering your screen name?

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong......
 
2012-08-06 11:20:01 AM  

Genju: kroonermanblack: This seems kinda relevant. I have a sincere question. I've never dated much, most of mine were simply met through college or school. I've dabbled in eharmony but haven't payed for it yet.

How the #%*^ does one meet women? I'm not rich, I'm not famous, I'm not particularly good looking. And I'm completely clueless. I don't want to meet 'the one' or even just have a bang buddy. I just want to date a little. If either of those happen, great. If not, I'd just like to have a good time and not bore someone to tears doing it.

I know it's a bizarre question, but hey, I've always wondered.

You live in a populated area. Look up singles events for your local area. Events like that remove any ambiguity as to why you and the other people are there. If you aren't very good at recognizing social cues, this does the work for you.


I've thought about, but heard those just tend to be huge sausage fests. Good idea though, I shouldn't have dismissed it out of hand. Thanks much.
 
2012-08-06 11:31:50 AM  

kroonermanblack: Genju: kroonermanblack: This seems kinda relevant. I have a sincere question. I've never dated much, most of mine were simply met through college or school. I've dabbled in eharmony but haven't payed for it yet.

How the #%*^ does one meet women? I'm not rich, I'm not famous, I'm not particularly good looking. And I'm completely clueless. I don't want to meet 'the one' or even just have a bang buddy. I just want to date a little. If either of those happen, great. If not, I'd just like to have a good time and not bore someone to tears doing it.

I know it's a bizarre question, but hey, I've always wondered.

You live in a populated area. Look up singles events for your local area. Events like that remove any ambiguity as to why you and the other people are there. If you aren't very good at recognizing social cues, this does the work for you.

I've thought about, but heard those just tend to be huge sausage fests. Good idea though, I shouldn't have dismissed it out of hand. Thanks much.


Also, if you don't work in a very socially open environment, things like volunteering help you meet some great people. Except the ones being forced to do it for legal reasons of course!

I started working in a secure environment at 23. People who tended to work in that environment were 1.5 - 2x my age, were married and had kids. So work didn't help my social network one bit. I had to turn to things like volunteering and going to the bar by myself to meet new people.
 
2012-08-06 12:14:34 PM  
Thoroughly With Foil SmartestFunniest 2012-08-05 03:58:32 PM


blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me


Sh'e your wife.. Take her by force.
Deep down, it's what she secretly wants...
 
2012-08-06 01:25:06 PM  

notatrollorami: charmbomb: Zizzowop: charmbomb: Zizzowop: So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.

The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.

So, you've never found anyone boring. How boring.

No, I've had two boyfriends in my life, and I've never been bored in that arena...
If you get bored, take the initiative and spice things up. That's all. If your attempts fail, it's generally not the sex that is the issue.

/also, getting comfortable with someone doesn't equal boredom.

Gramma: charmbomb: The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.

Just so you know, that quote was in my AARP magazine this month.

That's farking brilliant. In all seriousness.

Wait, I know this thread is long since dead, but what? You've had two boyfriends in your life. And you're a swinger? Am I misremembering your screen name?

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong......


Uhm, no? I have a doppelganger? I just signed up like a week ago.
 
2012-08-06 01:54:34 PM  

fragMasterFlash: [img600.imageshack.us image 578x400]

"Who wants MILF and cookies?"


Whoa. Who is that?!
 
2012-08-06 02:46:20 PM  
Bored moms turning to sex, drugsdogs

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-08-06 03:40:38 PM  

AllUpInYa: PunGent: airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!

This.

Besides, older women are fine, once you get past the used up part :)

FTFY


Ironic handle ya got there :)
 
2012-08-06 03:56:38 PM  

charmbomb: notatrollorami: charmbomb: Zizzowop: charmbomb: Zizzowop: So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.

The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.

So, you've never found anyone boring. How boring.

No, I've had two boyfriends in my life, and I've never been bored in that arena...
If you get bored, take the initiative and spice things up. That's all. If your attempts fail, it's generally not the sex that is the issue.

/also, getting comfortable with someone doesn't equal boredom.

Gramma: charmbomb: The saying goes, if you're bored, then you're boring.

Just so you know, that quote was in my AARP magazine this month.

That's farking brilliant. In all seriousness.

Wait, I know this thread is long since dead, but what? You've had two boyfriends in your life. And you're a swinger? Am I misremembering your screen name?

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong......

Uhm, no? I have a doppelganger? I just signed up like a week ago.


Well, my apologies then. Carry on.
 
2012-08-06 04:36:02 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: radiobiz: I just pray every day that I can end this nightmare soon and go find some hot divorcee that's as hard up as I am.

You can, and you will. I wish you success in this. It's no damned good.

kvinesknows: buy her a good vibrator, show her how good it can be, eventually she will be jumping your bones nightly

I doubt it's that simple. She is probably physically capable of orgasm, most women are, but there's some deep-seated psychological business going on that's preventing her from allowing herself to enjoy it or seek it out.


pee on her toothbrush or in her drinks then.. get that testosterone level up and she will be begging for it
 
2012-08-06 04:48:47 PM  
I can't believe I read this whole thread...

Some of you clowns are PATHETIC!

That's no insult - I was pathetic too - but IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!

I was a young "beta-male" when I chanced to meet a 40-ish divorcee with the body of a 20-year old and a libido to match. She had an eye for talent, I guess... I was her "boy-toy" for a year or so, and she rewarded me with a literal "education."

"Look, you get an 'A+' for enthusiasm, but a 'D' for technique! Let me show you how this thing works... Look... this is my clitoris... it's kind of like..." and so-on... She literally explained female anatomy to me, erogenous zones, etc... Then as I learned those lessons she moved on to more "advanced" techniques - how to bring a woman to the brink of orgasm and keep her there for as long as I wanted, and how to control my own so that *I* was in control of the situation...

SHE got the benefit of mind-blowing sex - my 19-year-old stamina and enthusiasm combined with what she taught me kept her seriously satisfied... Being stupid and young, I "fell in love" and tried to get her to marry me - she sadly told me that was the end and went and found herself another lucky young man...

Even then, though, she did me the ultimate kindness by getting me started with some females closer to my own age...

*I* was really the lucky one though - because *I* got the benefit of knowledge most guys don't figure out until they're much, much older. I've never had a "one night stand" except by my choice, because they'd be calling ME. After having a couple of crayzee biatches literally STALK me, I learned to be much more selective about who I took home, and this "I can take you or leave you - prove you're sane enough to handle what I can give you" attitude (and "attitude" is 90+% of "game") gave me more opportunities than I ever dreamed possible.

I've seen a lot of "PUA" and "game theory" crap online lately, and... Some of those guys have it down pretty well, though they're still missing the "how to drive her crazy in bed" lessons they've at least got the "how to get her INTO bed in the first place" bit down pretty damn good!

Honestly, I think that if you're capable of absorbing the lessons and integrating them into your personality, some of these "game" or "PUA" courses/lessons/whatever would be VERY VERY good for most young guys... In fact, I bought a set of DVDs for my son and another for a kid that's become LIKE a son to me over the years, but delivered with the caveat that "don't take this crap too seriously or too literally, but it's a GREAT crash-course into female psychology and for that reason deserves study by guys like us..."

I've also seen some "how to make love to a woman" material online but not been willing to invest in any of it myself... No need...

I didn't write all that to "brag" or whatever - just to establish my "bonafides" before giving some advice...

Young/male Farkers: Go study "game" or "PUA" - but don't take it all too seriously... Use it as a "primer" into the female mind, and to help you understand why all those ugly/dorky/asshole guys are getting non-stop pussy and you're not. Meanwhile, find yourself a hot "cougar" and tell her point-blank that you'd like her to "teach" you so you can do a better job for her...

Older/married/male Farkers: Many of the same principles apply in your marriage. You're not the same guy she fell in love with - if you were, she'd still be on your cock like she used to be. You want to change her? Change YOURSELF! You've got to be *REALLY* cautious with the "throw her down and fark her" bit as there's a fine-line between "fulfilling her desires" and "rape" - you don't want to end up on the wrong side of it~!!

I nearly blew my marriage. After a dozen or so years, things got boring - and I turned "beta-male." We were both unhappy, constantly sniping at one another... She'd about lost all interest in sex - not because I wasn't still good, but because she could have it whenever she wanted she didn't really VALUE it any more...

It was an odd situation that opened my eyes... She'd been grousing over her "honey-do-list" for far too long, and I finally decided to do some things just to shut her up. Then she said "why don't we go upstairs and I'll reward you for doing those things..."

That REALLY pissed me off!

It was like a kick in the 'nads for me -- I'm thinking "WTF? I make you cum 20 times and you act like you're doing *ME* a favor?"

So I decided "Fark it! If this is a BUSINESS transaction, then I'll just treat her like a whore!" -- So I did. Told her to "suck it" then grabbed her by the head and shoved it down her throat. Put her on her knees, spit in my hand and shoved it in her - bouncing her head off the headboard while I rage-farked the shiat out of her...

I figured she'd be PISSED - surprised the hell out of me when she got more turned on than I'd seen her in years... I was surprised when she went back for the oral, and even moreso that she didn't dive for cover at the last instant as had become her habit, instead staying on for "the whole ride" as she used to always do! -- - but I was still pissed... When I was "done" I literally wiped my c*ck off in her hair, pulled on my pants and walked out, left her laying there and shut the door behind me. I got a bit worried when she didn't jump up and run to the bathroom to "wash up" as she always had for the last several years, instead just laying in the bed for another hour or so - she told me later that was because she wasn't sure she could walk and needed to lay there for a while to let the endorphin-rush subside... I realized later that there had been a HUGE change in things in our bedroom that I'd just not noticed - but though she'd still have a dozen orgasms she could hop right up and go back to cleaning where once-upon-a-time she'd need some time to get herself "together" before even trying to stand... Ultimately, it was the difference between being bedded by the alpha-male I'd once been, and the "beta-male" I'd become...

Surprised the hell out of me when she came to bed that night in lingerie for the first time in a couple of years...

It took me a couple of days to figure out, but I finally did: It wasn't so much the rage-fark, and she really didn't appreciate some of the more degrading shiat I did, but she DID like me TURNING BACK INTO THE ALPHA-MALE SHE'D FALLEN IN LOVE WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

I'd become the typical "beta-male" - all but BEGGING for some pussy instead of being the one "in charge" of the situation. Turns out she also DOES like the occasional "rage-fark", and even the odd/RARE "degradation" just to keep things interesting, but more than anything what she REALLY wanted was for me to stop being a pussy-whipped little pansy and BE THE FARKING **MAN** IN MY HOUSE AGAIN!

She's no "shrinking violet" or "submissive woman" or whatever - she's a Masters-educated executive TOTAL MILF "power-babe" but inside she's still a WOMAN -- and most women who are capable of being honest about it with themselves OR us will agree: they all REALLY want a **MAN** - not some metrosexual faig, but a sweaty, hairy ALPHA-MALE, AT LEAST in the bedroom!

That's not to say that there's no place for romance, candlelight and soft, passionate kisses - all those things are nice for them too, but they'll get bored with that a whole lot faster than they will tire of a guy who knows he can get all the pussy he wants... Even after 15+ years of marriage, the "game", the "attitude" is just as important as it was the first time we met!

I'm not saying "grab her head and shove it down her throat" is the thing to do - you'd better be damn sure of what you're doing or you'll make things worse than they already are - but IN THAT TIME, IN THAT SITUATION, WITH THAT WOMAN, it sure worked for me!

It's not so much what I did, but the ATTITUDE - like most women she really wants an ALPHA - not a beta - so BE THE FARKING ALPHA!!

I'm sure this will earn the usual Fark inanity - but maybe it will help ONE poor sap from suffering through an unnecessary divorce... So... Whatever!
 
2012-08-06 06:47:47 PM  
 
2012-08-06 07:04:08 PM  

precious_crotchflake: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

Seriously, the reading comprehension thing has been pointed out no less than a dozen times in this thread already. Yet still plenty of Farkers tripping all over themselves to show that they're the dumbest of them all.



So your claim that they ALL have jobs is based on one quote from one person?

Yeah sorry but you're a farking moran

All the girls hanging out at bars while their husbands work to chase young tail do not have jobs, they're stay at home moms who do nothing all day but send their kids to school
 
2012-08-06 07:11:16 PM  

intelligent comment below: All the girls hanging out at bars while their husbands work to chase young tail do not have jobs, they're stay at home moms who do nothing all day but send their kids to school


Since their husbands are working to chase young tail in your scenario, turnabout is fair play.
 
Displayed 252 of 252 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report