notatrollorami: My wife and I are the same age/situation. I do a boys night maybe once a year and her a girls night once every few months. We like hanging out with each other and communicate any brewing problems immediately and generally civilly. This works.

Perhaps that's why we still have lots of sex after 14 years of marriage. Gonna have some later tonight. Had some yesterday morning.


Well done dude.
Yes, you may not be boning each other most of the time, but having lots of sex with other people after 14 married years together seems to work for you and if keeps you hanging out with each other, who am I to judge. Getting some in the morning and nights is rare for someone married so long, and you're fortunate your wife isn't jealous of your hookups.

Also, kudos to you both for supporting each other in your occasional same sex dalliances. Do you watch or participate in each others "boys" and "girls" nights, or is it just kept to one gender?

airplane_mech2: Buffet: airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!

Did you mean "You have no idea what YOU'RE talking about."?

lol. that's the best you got? Whatever

Did you mean "....the best YOU'VE got?"

Thanks for all the advise farkers, I've got a lot to think about - but hey, at least there'll be no distractions! (hope someone got a chuckle from that, I know I sure as shiat didn't)...

Thoroughly With Foil: Thanks for all the advise farkers, I've got a lot to think about - but hey, at least there'll be no distractions! (hope someone got a chuckle from that, I know I sure as shiat didn't)...

You may only get one go at life, so don't waste it ... whatever you choose to do try to enjoy it.

Don't stay for the kid's sake! It didn't take long for my son to realize his mom used him during the separation/divorce. It seems she still tries to manipulate him, but, he ignores most of it. Took longer for my daughter to come around and it's harder for her. She lives with her mom.

Divorce sucks for all, but hurts the kids most.

Thoroughly With Foil: Thanks for all the advise farkers, I've got a lot to think about - but hey, at least there'll be no distractions! (hope someone got a chuckle from that, I know I sure as shiat didn't)...

Good luck, dude. I hope you can find your way out of the situation you're in and get some happiness.

And if it makes you feel any better...don't stay with her for the kid's sake. My parents tried to do that and it was miserable for me. I thank providence every day that my dad finally had enough and divorced my mom.

GORDON: machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.

You've never been with two twenties, before, have you.


Oh look, another internet showoff. Look if you have to come in and brag about how much milf tail and 3-somes you are in on an internet website, then you're a lying loser.

Jumbled the last.

Divorce does hurt kids the most - robs them of security, familiarity, and stable home. But, staying in a loveless "black hole of Calcutta" marriage is infinitely worse.

/brain & fingers not cooperating.
//need more scotch!

"ing" subby? What is this "ing" of which you speak?

Man, after reading TFA, all I could think about was spoiled little brat kids who grow up in age but never maturity, they have the ultimate first world problems. They're really making great impressions on their kids.

I'm all for this.

"The tedium of raising children, she says, is driving moms in her circle out at night to party to the extreme as if they were 25 again"

"Driving"? They are blaming the children for thier stupidity? You wanna do dumb shiat, go for it. At least own up to it.

Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

They should make everyone watch American Beauty before they get married.

MorePeasPlease: notatrollorami: My wife and I are the same age/situation. I do a boys night maybe once a year and her a girls night once every few months. We like hanging out with each other and communicate any brewing problems immediately and generally civilly. This works.

Perhaps that's why we still have lots of sex after 14 years of marriage. Gonna have some later tonight. Had some yesterday morning.


Well done dude.
Yes, you may not be boning each other most of the time, but having lots of sex with other people after 14 married years together seems to work for you and if keeps you hanging out with each other, who am I to judge. Getting some in the morning and nights is rare for someone married so long, and you're fortunate your wife isn't jealous of your hookups.

Also, kudos to you both for supporting each other in your occasional same sex dalliances. Do you watch or participate in each others "boys" and "girls" nights, or is it just kept to one gender?

+1

Figured I'd catch some shiat for sounding braggy in a thread like this.

Instead you brought the lulz.

Thoroughly With Foil: Thanks for all the advise farkers, I've got a lot to think about - but hey, at least there'll be no distractions! (hope someone got a chuckle from that, I know I sure as shiat didn't)...

Best of luck to you. Whatever you decide you'll be better off in the end for having changed an unlivable situation.

///Crosses fingers for you.

Has 420-you need to meet some people who work at restaurants. They all have or know hookups.

Ha! I forgot about that, thanks.

Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

She probably would actually dig it if you were like "This is my marriage, I am taking charge here." Not like, marriage rape or anything. But she's probs screaming for a submissive role.

charmbomb: Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

She probably would actually dig it if you were like "This is my marriage, I am taking charge here." Not like, marriage rape or anything. But she's probs screaming for a submissive role.

I was married for nearly five years before I discovered that my wife really just wanted to be thrown down and farked. I used to spend half the day hinting at what I wanted, now I just tell her what we're going to do. Probably a downside to this somewhere, but I haven't found it yet.

LandOfChocolate: Xtian

Thoroughly With Foil: Xtian

My parents got divorced. Very tough on my brothers and sisters, much more so afterwards than before.

If you can deal with it, you're doing the best thing for your kids. Carry on and Godspeed.

intelligent comment below: GORDON: machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.

You've never been with two twenties, before, have you.

Oh look, another internet showoff. Look if you have to come in and brag about how much milf tail and 3-somes you are in on an internet website, then you're a lying loser.

I just turned 39, my girlfriend just turned 24... Based on the fun I've been having with her VS the hell-relationship I had with the 40 year old ex-girlfriend prior to her... I'm going to say that he's on to something.

rogue_L_chick: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

I'm just going to say it...you should cheat with one of those neighbor's wives. Honestly, you've already screwed the pooch on this marriage. You married a woman you don't like, but are not quite sure you really want to divorce. That shiat's hard. So, you cheat, she gets angry...you either have the Talk and "reach a new level" in your relationship, or it's the TNT that finally blows that shiat part, and you didn't have to bother being the one to file. Who cares if it's the shiatty thing to do...isn't what you're describing already a really shiatty, useless situation? Why bother with the "right thing". Just do what you need to do-why concern yourself with "right" when she doesn't care enough to bother with you?

That's my 1 1/2 cents. Then again, I'm not married. Going on 10 years with my fella, and and I'm still getting laid like a motherfarker. Then again, we never shut up about the shiat we think about. You non talkative people confuse me.

I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. If she's just not capable of it somehow, she should not be married. It is unreasonable to tell someone that you are the only place they are allowed to go to meet their needs, if you are not actually going to meet their needs.

red5ish: I have a feeling that these women were never far removed from being bored, self-centered and poorly behaved at any point in their lives. Calling it regressive suggests that they had, at some point, advanced beyond this behavior; I'm not convinced.

Nailed it.

GORDON: You've never been with two twenties, before, have you.

No, and I bet you haven't either.

LowbrowDeluxe: FTFA: "...We're masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively-though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions-Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?-by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives."

I love all the butt-hurt man-failures in the thread who can't even read the three sentences they quoted.

Lol k, cupcake.

hammettman: Granolabar: rogue_L_chick: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

I'm just going to say it...you should cheat with one of those neighbor's wives. Honestly, you've already screwed the pooch on this marriage. You married a woman you don't like, but are not quite sure you really want to divorce. That shiat's hard. So, you cheat, she gets angry...you either have the Talk and "reach a new level" in your relationship, or it's the TNT that finally blows that shiat part, and you didn't have to bother being the one to file. Who cares if it's the shiatty thing to do...isn't what you're describing already a really shiatty, useless situation? Why bother with the "right thing". Just do what you need to do-why concern yourself with "right" when she doesn't care enough to bother with you?

That's my 1 1/2 cents. Then again, I'm not married. Going on 10 years with my fella, and and I'm still getting laid like a motherfarker. Then again, we never shut up about the shiat we think about. You non talkative people confuse me.

I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. ..

Sex is a part of being human. Leave it to the church to fark up something so simple. Would not stay married to church lady.

I just wouldn't marry a guy who wouldn't have sex with me before the wedding. Seems like a bad sign of things to come.

geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This isn't the 50's, all but one state has no-fault divorce with no grounds necessary, and things like affairs and withholding sex don't change the monetary splits or alimony in favor of anyone. It would be grounds for annulment, but the timeframes for that are generally extremely strict (unless you're the King of England and don't starting your own church, though killing them turned out to be much simpler anyway) and frowned upon when shared assets and children exist.

Granolabar: I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. If she's just not capable of it somehow, she should not be married. It is unreasonable to tell someone that you are the only place they are allowed to go to meet their needs, if you are not actually going to meet their needs.

Dunno, 2+ decades of being told by her religious beliefs that sex is dirty, bad, and sinful is a hell of a lot of damage to undo. You should find one of those churches (I think they exist) that preaches that husbands and wives should be intimate on every occasion, and Jesus would be really pissed otherwise.

When I was living in Lake Arrowhead, the MILFs were swapping sons.

Regarding the article, wow, that was some rambly self-centered drivel that ultimately faded out, with an obvious hard turn question for a conclusion when the author realized she actually had nothing to say on the topic at all. A few tame anecdotes about acting like an idiot at the bar and see strangers cruising for drunken hookups aren't exactly on par with explosive tell-all revelations of upper class bluebloods holding rockstar orgies and acting like teenagers in a Larry Clark movie.

Koodz: charmbomb: Thoroughly With Foil: blueviking: geek_mars: Thoroughly With Foil: "50 Shades Of Great"?

/turning 40 the end of this year
//turning the neighbor's wives heads ever since shedding 40lbs & lifting regularly
///still old, but still want to have fun
////Xtian wife won't put out, 13yrs faithful, told me point-blank 'sex is only for procreation'
//shoot me

You have my deepest sympathies, but frankly, were I in your place, this is a conversation I'd have had 13+ years ago.

/denial of "marital favors" is grounds for divorce

This.

Has she actually tried going to a doc to see if it's a physical problem?


No. Honestly it's mental. She was brought up in strict compliance with church practices & I think it's still a sin thing to her. She actually has no interest in pursuing the matter & thinks there's something wrong with me for wanting sex so much. And, just to make things clear - I'm not selfish when it comes to that - I'm all about service (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). So it's not like I'm just looking for my own pleasure & then done. No - in fact I'm unable to get 'there' without my partner coming along (OK, pun intended).

She probably would actually dig it if you were like "This is my marriage, I am taking charge here." Not like, marriage rape or anything. But she's probs screaming for a submissive role.

I was married for nearly five years before I discovered that my wife really just wanted to be thrown down and farked. I used to spend half the day hinting at what I wanted, now I just tell her what we're going to do. Probably a downside to this somewhere, but I haven't found it yet.

At some point even if it backfires, there aren't too many other options.

Personally, we just have sex with other people. I'm 26, he's 27. We have the "normal" life. Loving decade long relationship, a toddler, two paid off sedans, just bought a house. Every few months we get a hotel room, spoil the shiat out of each other with nice dinner, spa, fancy drinks by the pool, and have a threesome (or something). Couldn't be happier with how it's working out.

Blink: Granolabar: I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. If she's just not capable of it somehow, she should not be married. It is unreasonable to tell someone that you are the only place they are allowed to go to meet their needs, if you are not actually going to meet their needs.

Dunno, 2+ decades of being told by her religious beliefs that sex is dirty, bad, and sinful is a hell of a lot of damage to undo. You should find one of those churches (I think they exist) that preaches that husbands and wives should be intimate on every occasion, and Jesus would be really pissed otherwise.

I agree, I'm not saying it's her fault. But she's obviously got a huge hangup about sex, and doesn't seem to see any reason to change that. So, either he lives in silent, celibate, resentment for the rest of his life, or they get a divorce.

radiobiz: Almost two years without sex here. Divorce proceedings been going on for 8 months. I stayed even after I caught her in an affair because I didn't want to destroy the family. We have a son. So I've been miserable for three years thinking I was doing what was best for him. It's sucked. Still sucks and I hate it for my son but I can't wait to have the insane biatch out of my life. What happened? I dunno. We were good for 7 years then she changed. I guess I did too.

I never retaliated for her cheating. I think she has a boyfriend now too but I still won't break my marriage vows. I just pray every day that I can end this nightmare soon and go find some hot divorcee that's as hard up as I am.

I feel for you. Ive found myself in a similar situation, but its less "keeping the family together" vs "Im terrified that crazy will get custody"

/Sigh... whats so hard about being faithful?

machoprogrammer: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

Yeah, the whole "trade 'em in for two twenties!" thing is retarded. Sorry.

Bizarre, I've always heard this joke as "Why chase the ten, when you can have so much more fun with two fives?"

This variation on the joke doesn't even work if you forget to put the age in!

/High mileage women are at least as uninhibited as the fat girl stereotype, and they definitely rank higher. You better be willing to give them a good long time, though, no wham-bam-thank you ma'am.

GilRuiz1: desertfool: Thoroughly With Foil: desertfool & GilRuiz1 - thanks!

/just emailed the link to her now
//maybe some fireworks tonight...
///or just farking rockets & bombs

I thought it was funny that we almost had a simulpost quoting the same scripture.

And I'm an atheist!


*internet high-five*

Right back at ya!

Krieghund: I'm a stay at home dad, and I have yet to meet these women. If you see them, send them my way.

In the meantime, I'll be masturbating excessively.

You have to look around a bit. Or, your plan works too.

Granolabar: Blink: Granolabar: I actually agree with this advice. Sex is a part of marriage. If she's just not capable of it somehow, she should not be married. It is unreasonable to tell someone that you are the only place they are allowed to go to meet their needs, if you are not actually going to meet their needs.

Dunno, 2+ decades of being told by her religious beliefs that sex is dirty, bad, and sinful is a hell of a lot of damage to undo. You should find one of those churches (I think they exist) that preaches that husbands and wives should be intimate on every occasion, and Jesus would be really pissed otherwise.

I agree, I'm not saying it's her fault. But she's obviously got a huge hangup about sex, and doesn't seem to see any reason to change that. So, either he lives in silent, celibate, resentment for the rest of his life, or they get a divorce.

Yes, something tells me that super-strict religious lady isn't going to roll over and accept the idea of extracurricular activities. Even if she says OK, she'll be hell-bent on sabotaging everything from that point forward, and will never see him as a person to be trusted or respected again. Much cleaner and better for all to get the divorce now, rather than get it two years from now when your woman hates you and wants to see you suffer and burn.

The author of this piece can regress with me anytime. Bonus points if she lets my wife join in.

Alonjar: radiobiz: Almost two years without sex here. Divorce proceedings been going on for 8 months. I stayed even after I caught her in an affair because I didn't want to destroy the family...

I feel for you. Ive found myself in a similar situation, but its less "keeping the family together" vs "Im terrified that crazy will get custody"

/Sigh... whats so hard about being faithful?

I don't know. I've asked mysel that a lot too.

Custody is my big issue too. Overall shes a pretty good mom. All I want is 50/50 - seems to me that max time with both parents is what's best for my son. My STBX however, realizing the only way she can hurt me anymore is through our son, continues to pursue full custody with me getting the visitation every other weekend thing. Yeah, not happening. I'm a good dad and I'm not doing that too my son. I remember how much it sucked when I was a kid and I only got to see my dad the first and third weekends - plus dinner on Wednesday nights.

airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!

This.

Besides, older women are fine, once you get past the used part :)

So, how many of you who claim to have such active sex lives after being in a relationship for 10+ years are telling the truth? I got bored with my ex in less than 5 years, was it her fault or mine? I honestly don't care, but unless you are really good looking, and your partner is too, I can't see anyone having constant sex after being together for a long time. I mean maybe your sex life winds down to once a week, and I think that's totally acceptable, but do people that have been together for a long time still have sex like they did when they first met? No-Farking-Way! This is what my ex thought was normal because she saw it on daytime TV and what her friends told her. THEY are what's killing marriage.

PunGent: airplane_mech2: Buffet: Like I've said before - NO ONE wants to have sex with high mileage, worn out chics.
Trade 'em in for two twenties!

You have no idea what your talking about. The ones I have run into have nearly torn me up. I would much rather be with a woman who knows what she is doing and what she wants and isn't shy about asking for it. Older women for the win!

This.

Besides, older women are fine, once you get past the used up part :)

FTFY