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(NYPost)   Man invents a park bench that can be folded and locked up at the end of the day. Pigeons, homeless people, and drug abusers not amused   (nypost.com) divider line 53
    More: Interesting, Flatbush, insults, homeless  
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10494 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2012 at 4:28 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-05 03:15:15 PM  
So he reinvented a folding chair with a lock?
 
2012-08-05 03:20:47 PM  
Unfolding an 'anti-drug' park bench

If Lindsay Lohan were to sit on one, I'd like to think that the park bench and Lindsay Lohan would vanish into thin air, as per matter colliding with anti-matter.
 
2012-08-05 04:30:20 PM  
"There was a problem - and I am a problem solver," Harper told The Post.

Was there? Was there REALLY a problem? Are you sure you're not just punishing the people who would sleep on that because fark 'em?
 
2012-08-05 04:30:49 PM  
How about people who want to sit on one at night?
 
2012-08-05 04:32:27 PM  
heinrich66: How about people who want to sit on one at night?

After closing hours? Then your just a bum.

No, not really. I guess this is slightly better than those benches that have the big spike in the middle to keep you from laying down. Ugh
 
2012-08-05 04:32:34 PM  
From the farking article: "was working in drug-plagued Drew"

You can't make this shiat up.

/laughing at Drew
 
2012-08-05 04:33:15 PM  
heinrich66: How about people who want to sit on one at night?

Did you not do the reading of the article? Only the drug dealers and hobos and vampires wish to do this at night. Everyone else should be in the bed.
 
2012-08-05 04:35:56 PM  
heinrich66: How about people who want to sit on one at night?

If you want to sit on one at night, you're a hideous homeless drug user, and a dreg of humanity.
 
2012-08-05 04:36:28 PM  
The MTA passed on the design, telling The Post that its mechanical component means maintenance, which is costly. "No dice," spokesman Kevin Ortiz said.

Not to mention the recurring expense of paying someone to lock and unlock each bench every day.
 
2012-08-05 04:41:21 PM  
www.johnnybench.com

Not amused, no fold policy intact.
 
2012-08-05 04:42:02 PM  
FTA: secured with a chain and lock when the seat is in the "up" position.

Because chains are so hard to cut.

heinrich66: How about people who want to sit on one at night?

Presumably parks that are open at night are, you know, open at night. I imagine this bench is for parks that aren't.
 
2012-08-05 04:44:48 PM  
ArcadianRefugee:
heinrich66: How about people who want to sit on one at night?

Presumably parks that are open at night are, you know, open at night. I imagine this bench is for parks that aren't.


Huh. Well, you know, in my experience, parks that aren't open at night are, you know, closed. As in behind fences and gates.
 
2012-08-05 04:46:34 PM  
Fear the Clam: Not to mention the recurring expense of paying someone to lock and unlock each bench every day.

Not to mention that the person locking and unlocking the bench each day must be a union worker, with associated expenses. Also if there isn't a union for 'park bench unlockers', there soon will be, the NLRB will make sure of that. And the different unions will fight each other like wolves over a few scraps of meat for the right to represent.
 
2012-08-05 04:49:47 PM  
If you make sure drug addicts and homeless doesn't have any benches to use, they will stop taking drugs and/or find somewhere to live. Without benches their lifestyles stops being so attractive.
 
2012-08-05 04:52:55 PM  
BlueJay206: Fear the Clam: Not to mention the recurring expense of paying someone to lock and unlock each bench every day.

Not to mention that the person locking and unlocking the bench each day must be a union worker, with associated expenses. Also if there isn't a union for 'park bench unlockers', there soon will be, the NLRB will make sure of that. And the different unions will fight each other like wolves over a few scraps of meat for the right to represent.


TFA mentioned a shop owner that was interested. This might be the market that he will appeal to.
 
2012-08-05 04:55:53 PM  
I guess I'll start shooting up ALL the time on the subway, now...
 
2012-08-05 04:59:34 PM  
Coin-op park bench with retractable spikes

static02.mediaite.com


Link
 
2012-08-05 05:04:52 PM  
20 seconds with a bolt cutter.
 
2012-08-05 05:10:02 PM  
drug users using public conveniences as if they were regular people and not syphilitic monsters?
not in my town god dammit.
while we are at it, let's get some jagged glass on these low walls over here so no one is tempted to f*ck my life by sitting down for a minute.
 
2012-08-05 05:14:58 PM  
Good idea, because obviously sleeping in the open on park benches is what's attracting people to the homeless lifestyle. The solution to homelessness is clearly to punish the victims.

/A society's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members.
 
zez
2012-08-05 05:16:17 PM  
"There was a problem - and I am a problem solver"
www.faronics.com
 
2012-08-05 05:17:52 PM  
Just two words: bolt cutters.
 
2012-08-05 05:21:11 PM  
If you make something that is completely obvious but not used because its a stupid idea, you don't get to claim that you invented it.
 
2012-08-05 05:23:23 PM  
Wert789: Just two words: bolt cutters.

And a hammer to pound down the thingamajig the shackle goes thru.
 
2012-08-05 05:24:03 PM  
That folding bench is just a knock-off of the WW2 era navy racks aboard ship that were 'triced" up for compartment cleaning. The sleeping racks were angled up and held by chains so the berthing compartment cleaner could dust underneath them. The difference is ours were not locked into place, just held up by a chain at an angle.
 
2012-08-05 05:25:58 PM  
FTF: The brains behind US Patent #6299251 - a foldable park bench

ok that should definitely not be patent-able.
 
2012-08-05 05:35:24 PM  
czetie: Good idea, because obviously sleeping in the open on park benches is what's attracting people to the homeless lifestyle.

That's not the point. The park should be clean and HIV infected needle free for everyone to enjoy.
 
2012-08-05 05:54:39 PM  

Ed Finnerty: 20 seconds with a bolt cutter.


Because homeless people and drug addicts walk around with bolt cutters in their pockets.
 
2012-08-05 05:58:03 PM  

heinrich66: ArcadianRefugee:
heinrich66: How about people who want to sit on one at night?

Presumably parks that are open at night are, you know, open at night. I imagine this bench is for parks that aren't.

Huh. Well, you know, in my experience, parks that aren't open at night are, you know, closed. As in behind fences and gates.


Not in Chicago. All parks close at 11pm. If there is a path through the park you are allowed to pass through the park but for all other purposes it is closed, regardless of whether or not there is a gate and/or fence.
 
2012-08-05 05:59:35 PM  

fredklein: Ed Finnerty: 20 seconds with a bolt cutter.

Because homeless people and drug addicts walk around with bolt cutters in their pockets.


Homeless activists do.
 
2012-08-05 06:00:02 PM  
This reminds me of a minor controversy in Albuquerque a while back. There were a lot of complaints about the quantity of bum dung encountered downtown, and someone suggested maybe putting out a few port-a-johns. The proposal was rejected, as I recall, because it was thought that prostitutes and drug users would use them to whore themselves out/ shoot up/ tweak out. Obviously if they don't have port-a-johns to do those things in they'll magically become respectable members of the community.
 
2012-08-05 06:03:55 PM  

borg: fredklein: Ed Finnerty: 20 seconds with a bolt cutter.

Because homeless people and drug addicts walk around with bolt cutters in their pockets.

Homeless activists do.


And they can be arrested, jailed, and fined.

And the fine can go to attaching a new chain.
 
2012-08-05 06:04:11 PM  
images.smh.com.au
This isn't me, but I tried this when I was a kid and my parents were busy for a few hours. If I, short as I was, couldn't sleep on that thing I don't know how he's doing it except let's say desperation for sleep. Oh and they pay someone to be Lord Of The Park and tell you you can't evevn lay down on the things so he's lucky right now. Here's another view:

farm1.staticflickr.com

Even trying hurt my neck and legs.
 
2012-08-05 06:11:06 PM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: [images.smh.com.au image 563x400]
This isn't me, but I tried this when I was a kid and my parents were busy for a few hours. If I, short as I was, couldn't sleep on that thing I don't know how he's doing it except let's say desperation for sleep. Oh and they pay someone to be Lord Of The Park and tell you you can't evevn lay down on the things so he's lucky right now. Here's another view:

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 640x427]

Even trying hurt my neck and legs.


I did not write this comment above...
 
2012-08-05 06:15:09 PM  

DrewCurtisJr: czetie: Good idea, because obviously sleeping in the open on park benches is what's attracting people to the homeless lifestyle.

That's not the point. The park should be clean and HIV infected needle free for everyone to enjoy.


Yes, I've noticed how all the parks are riddled with garbage and needles dropped by homeless people who were shooting up while they were sleeping on benches. *rolls eyes*

Look, moving the problem down the block doesn't make it magically disappear. Unless you've got some suggestion for how to make homeless people less... homeless... all you are achieving is to make an already miserable life slightly more miserable.

Unless of course your theory is that people are homeless and/or junkies by choice, and their life is just slightly preferable to some alternative they would turn to if only we made being homeless less attractive?
 
2012-08-05 06:22:22 PM  

bmr68: Coin-op park bench with retractable spikes

[static02.mediaite.com image 550x309]


Link


Or, not pay and have some fun in public!
 
2012-08-05 06:26:17 PM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2012-08-05 06:29:38 PM  
They're pretty much all gone now but there were lots of older people who fed pigeons religiously. With elaborate feeders and pounds of grain a day.

You see, in the 30s, during the Great Depression, lots of dead pigeons kept lots of poor people fed and alive. Those old people were just returning the favor from their youth.

Eddie Rickenbacker fed seagulls in Florida when he was an old man for the same reason. He was adrift in the Pacific, near death, when a seagull landed on his head. Eating that seagull saved his life and he repaid the favor along a beach in Florida.
 
2012-08-05 06:38:16 PM  

fredklein: Ed Finnerty: 20 seconds with a bolt cutter.

Because homeless people and drug addicts walk around with bolt cutters in their pockets.


How do you know what they have in their shopping carts?
 
2012-08-05 06:38:32 PM  

czetie: Yes, I've noticed how all the parks are riddled with garbage and needles dropped by homeless people who were shooting up while they were sleeping on benches. *rolls eyes*


Did you read the article? Just maybe it is a problem in areas where you don't happen to live.

czetie: Look, moving the problem down the block doesn't make it magically disappear. Unless you've got some suggestion for how to make homeless people less... homeless... all you are achieving is to make an already miserable life slightly more miserable.


Yes it does. It disappears from the park. If you want to use drugs fine, don't ruin a park or a bus shelter for the rest of us. Go get high by the tracks.

Unless of course your theory is that people are homeless and/or junkies by choice, and their life is just slightly preferable to some alternative they would turn to if only we made being homeless less attractive?

Many people are homeless by choice, they don't want to spend the night in shelters because shelters have too many rules they don't like, like you can't do drugs.
 
2012-08-05 06:39:10 PM  

fredklein: Ed Finnerty: 20 seconds with a bolt cutter.

Because homeless people and drug addicts walk around with bolt cutters in their pockets.


How do you know what they have in their pockets and/or shopping carts?
 
2012-08-05 06:42:14 PM  

Ed Finnerty: How do you know what they have in their pockets and/or shopping carts?


Bolt cutters can be sold for a couple $'s. If people like this get their hands on anything they can sell, it is gone.
 
2012-08-05 07:44:33 PM  
Now where am I going to fark hookers?
 
2012-08-05 07:56:44 PM  
As others have said, the fixed wall things are a much better solution. There's no mechanical failure, you don't have to roust people out of them or pay a person to lock them up.

This is interesting, but I suspect it will soon be left in the 'always down' position when people get tired of locking/unlocking it for no reason.
 
2012-08-05 07:59:59 PM  
HOMELESS PEOPLE NEVER SIT ON THE GROUND! EVER! THEY HAVE TOO MUCH DIGNITY!
 
2012-08-05 08:19:20 PM  
Clearly, this solves the problem.

Once homeless people realize the benches are no longer available, they'll move their underwear from the outside to the inside of the pants, get a job, fix their credit rating, and sign a lease. Study after study has shown read availability of benches has been a primary cause of homelessness.
 
2012-08-05 08:48:53 PM  
Something tells me this will just turn them into urinals, out of spite.
 
2012-08-05 10:53:22 PM  
I can't wait for the inevitable lawsuit(s) when the superfatties try them out and find them wanting.
 
2012-08-05 11:03:20 PM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: [images.smh.com.au image 563x400]
This isn't me, but I tried this when I was a kid and my parents were busy for a few hours. If I, short as I was, couldn't sleep on that thing I don't know how he's doing it except let's say desperation for sleep. Oh and they pay someone to be Lord Of The Park and tell you you can't evevn lay down on the things so he's lucky right now. Here's another view:

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 640x427]

Even trying hurt my neck and legs.


Am I just weird because I'm looking at that grass/dirt hill behind him thinking "that looks like it would be pretty soft and comfy"
 
2012-08-06 12:54:40 AM  

heinrich66: ArcadianRefugee:
heinrich66: How about people who want to sit on one at night?

Presumably parks that are open at night are, you know, open at night. I imagine this bench is for parks that aren't.

Huh. Well, you know, in my experience, parks that aren't open at night are, you know, closed. As in behind fences and gates.


Some, yes. not all. Some have too many access points (such as not being enclosed at all) and are simply "you can't be here after dark".

Most cemeteries (in NY, anyway) are "park closes at dark" but no one ever closes the farking gates.

/yes, I used to hang out in cemeteries after dark
//safer than the parks
 
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