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(Cracked)   Five reasons I'm better than you   (cracked.com) divider line 27
    More: Spiffy, tall people, average height, coronary heart disease, Okinawa, fertility clinics  
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9411 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Aug 2012 at 12:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-05 12:10:45 PM
Super. Now I have some cold comfort as I slide into old age, Alone.
 
2012-08-05 12:11:02 PM
You could list as many as you think you can but it doesn't change the fact you read cracked and I don't.
 
2012-08-05 12:11:44 PM
That whole list seems to boil down to if you want no quality in your life, you can get a whole lot more quantity.
 
2012-08-05 12:17:32 PM
Can I get a guarantee that cheery people die sooner?

The fewer of them around, the better. Fark them.
 
2012-08-05 12:18:33 PM
By the articles's logic it's better to have a 30p tv that lasts fovever and have nothing to watch on it than a 1080p tv that will break in then years but is compatable with the little video plugs that let you watch hundreds of channels and play vidja games.
 
2012-08-05 12:19:36 PM
Ten years, not then years.

Proofreading is something I know I should do but don't.
 
2012-08-05 12:19:40 PM

Summoner101: That whole list seems to boil down to if you want no quality in your life, you can get a whole lot more quantity.


"Hey, so what if I spend every day at a desk job that I hate and have dry spells measured in presidential administrations; I'll get to spend 3 years longer sucking down oatmeal in the nursing home than you will. Ha-ha!"

/ No, I'm not crying, that would be ridiculous
 
2012-08-05 12:19:47 PM

Summoner101: That whole list seems to boil down to if you want no quality in your life, you can get a whole lot more quantity.


I'M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER
 
2012-08-05 12:29:39 PM
ct.fra.bz
 
2012-08-05 12:31:32 PM
I'm so sad that I'm 6'1" and strikingly handsome. Sorry, ladies, don't fall in love with me. I'll just go off and die alone.
 
2012-08-05 12:31:54 PM

Yuri Futanari: Summoner101: That whole list seems to boil down to if you want no quality in your life, you can get a whole lot more quantity.

I'M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER


Me too. We should start a club. Perhaps a lonely hearts club band.
 
2012-08-05 12:33:57 PM
The FOREVER ALONE band.
 
2012-08-05 12:59:37 PM
there's a reason Tom Cruise has made a career of hiding the fact that he's only 5'7".

Tom Cruise is only 5'7" in lifts.

/more like 5'4"
 
2012-08-05 02:44:36 PM
Funny how they skip over the fact that without exception you're more likely to get your ass handed to you by a left handed person than a right handed person.
 
2012-08-05 02:52:58 PM
I AM IMMORTAL!
 
2012-08-05 02:53:55 PM

BumpInTheNight: You could list as many as you think you can but it doesn't change the fact you read cracked and I don't.


Damn dude, you're a bad ass.
 
2012-08-05 03:01:19 PM
Number one should make me feel better, but now I know I just have more time to mope around.
 
2012-08-05 03:01:52 PM

indarwinsshadow: Funny how they skip over the fact that without exception you're more likely to get your ass handed to you by a left handed person than a right handed person.


That's only because we have a pretty nonviolent society. In more violent societies there are more lefties selected for and the advantage they enjoy is less.
 
2012-08-05 03:10:05 PM

Lanadapter: Ten years, not then years.

Proofreading is something I know I should do but don't.


I was just listening to Then Years After, so I'm getting a kick...

Cheery people are Darwin bait. I would say it's why Republicans live so long, but I'll get jumped on again for shiatting another tab with politics, so I won't bring it up after all.
 
2012-08-05 04:17:22 PM
Summer Glau's Love Slave: Me too. We should start a club. Perhaps a lonely hearts club band.

One of my uncles and three of his buddies did that. All four were married a year later.
 
2012-08-05 04:34:20 PM
I meet four of the five criteria (ugly, wimpy, big nose, dour). I'd like to say that I'm rolling in pussy, but it's simply not true.

Then I remembered that this is a Cracked article, and accepted my lot in life.

/none of those things get you laid
//so not at all "better off"
 
2012-08-05 05:09:14 PM
artthehypnotist: I AM IMMORTAL!

I HAVE INSIDE ME BLOOD OF KINGS!
 
2012-08-05 05:35:24 PM
artthehypnotist: I AM IMMORTAL!

i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-05 07:48:07 PM

Summer Glau's Love Slave: Yuri Futanari: Summoner101: That whole list seems to boil down to if you want no quality in your life, you can get a whole lot more quantity.

I'M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER

Me too. We should start a club. Perhaps a lonely hearts club band.


The evidence suggests that that may shorted your lifespan.
 
2012-08-05 09:40:46 PM
"Think about it: Nature already assumes that attractive guys are getting more action, but that doesn't mean they're able to produce sperm faster than anyone else, so biology forces them to conserve their ammunition. "

There isn't one part of this sentence that doesn't piss me off. Just say ugly men fark less, and so get more out per time. Stop with the "Nature knows" crap.
 
2012-08-05 11:29:50 PM

Mael99: Can I get a guarantee that cheery people die sooner?

The fewer of them around, the better. Fark them.


Nope, they will outlive you due to less stress.
 
2012-08-06 08:35:56 AM
Another crap list on the interwebs.... Ugly men are more fertile? How is that any better? You have a higher chance of destroying your life with a screaming little shiatsack... yeah.. that seems better...
 
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