If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph)   So is that a banana in your HOLY CRAP   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 56
    More: Scary, Holy Crap  
•       •       •

35516 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2012 at 10:39 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-08-05 08:59:10 AM
And now all her friends think her husband's wang, which she also described as as "banana-sized", is actually four feet long.
 
2012-08-05 10:07:12 AM
holycrap.ca
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2012-08-05 10:14:13 AM
You just leave my HOLY CRAP out of this. thankyouverymuch
 
2012-08-05 10:41:35 AM
Those toddlers, always shoving moldy bananas in the darnedest places.
 
2012-08-05 10:46:13 AM
img62.imageshack.us


You're not gonna fall for the boa constrictor in the tailpipe?

It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this: "Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no boa constrictor in my tailpipe!"
 
2012-08-05 10:46:42 AM
So, what I'm getting out of this is that Britain must have very strange looking bananas.
 
2012-08-05 10:47:31 AM
This one sounds like a dingbat. How do you mistake a snake for a banana?
/ Ring ring ring
 
2012-08-05 10:47:40 AM
I expected this to be a TSA-related story.
 
2012-08-05 10:48:06 AM
"Now I think I'm seeing snakes everywhere even though we've filled up all the holes.

/classic
 
2012-08-05 10:52:04 AM

Wasilla Hillbilly: I expected this to be a TSA-related story.


I expected a 50 Shades... thingy.
 
2012-08-05 10:52:23 AM

oukewldave: This one sounds like a dingbat. How do you mistake a snake for a banana?
/ Ring ring ring



Right?!

"I was going to pick up a rotten moldy banana but forgot about it for seven hundred days, then came back and the banana jumped up with a mouth and eyes! Then I grabbed my kids and ran for the hills but forgot how to open the door, so I just kept bumping into the door bump bump bump! Then I called animal control and they said I had to burn my house down to get rid of the banana eye snake"
 
2012-08-05 10:56:14 AM
Owned a Red Tail for several years. Got to be about 7' long. Great pet. Got him (or her) when it was about 8" long. Started eating pinkies. Was into fairly large rats when I sold it. Got bit a few times. When I had handled a mouse. Didn't hurt. Just several small pricks on my finger.
Very little upkeep. Would recommend for a pet.
 
2012-08-05 10:57:40 AM
What I don't get is if there was really a banana in the tub, how does no one else notice it for 3 days? How often do these people bathe?
 
2012-08-05 10:57:57 AM
I like how they tell us the banana was a boa constrictor in the title, subheading, and the first sentence of the article. I feel like I have a good idea what the banana was.
 
2012-08-05 10:57:59 AM

oukewldave: This one sounds like a dingbat. How do you mistake a snake for a banana?
/ Ring ring ring


www.snakesite.info
 
2012-08-05 10:58:22 AM
So...she thought it was a banana but didn't bother to try and pick it up to throw it away until a few days later?

Filthy biatch.
 
2012-08-05 10:58:25 AM
Came for the one-eyed trouser snake jokes, leaving disappointed.
 
2012-08-05 10:58:51 AM
Fifty Shades Of Boa
 
2012-08-05 10:59:02 AM

ga362: Just several small pricks on my finger.
Very little upkeep. Would recommend for a pet.


No thanks. I prefer to keep my fingers away from pricks, small or otherwise.
 
2012-08-05 10:59:07 AM
I had bathroom mushrooms one time when a pipe leaked in the wall for months.

/wait for it...
 
2012-08-05 11:04:19 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk
ERMAGHERD BANANEZ
 
2012-08-05 11:04:44 AM
Protip: If you eat a banana and leave the peel in your work area it will smell like a dumpster.
 
2012-08-05 11:06:33 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com

There's always money in the banana stand...
 
2012-08-05 11:06:44 AM

darkvstar: oukewldave: This one sounds like a dingbat. How do you mistake a snake for a banana?
/ Ring ring ring

[www.snakesite.info image 505x461]


More like this:

i.ytimg.com

(either the yellow one or the brown, I suppose.)
 
2012-08-05 11:07:09 AM
Oh, I'm being eaten
By a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it--one bit.
Well, what do you know?
It's nibblin' my toe.
Oh, gee,
It's up to my knee.
Oh my,
It's up to my thigh.
Oh, fiddle,
It's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
It's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
It's upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff...

-shel silverstein
 
2012-08-05 11:09:22 AM

Abox: Protip: If you eat a banana and leave the peel in your work area it will smell like a dumpster.


Try broccoli sometime.
 
2012-08-05 11:09:34 AM
She needs glasses but doesn't wear them for cosmetic reasons.
 
2012-08-05 11:09:50 AM
I must echo earlier posts...

How do you "forget" about having a goll-durn rotting banana in your bathroom??? WTF, Brits?
 
2012-08-05 11:11:22 AM

Ed Finnerty: Abox: Protip: If you eat a banana and leave the peel in your work area it will smell like a dumpster.

Try broccoli sometime.


Broccoli with cheese is even worse. Or noodles with soy sauce.
 
2012-08-05 11:16:41 AM

marius2: Ed Finnerty: Abox: Protip: If you eat a banana and leave the peel in your work area it will smell like a dumpster.

Try broccoli sometime.

Broccoli with cheese is even worse. Or noodles with soy sauce.



Worse for what...what are we talking about here. Those don't have an element you throw away. Or did I miss a meme.
 
2012-08-05 11:17:36 AM
I'm imagining it went something like this:

Community clip
 
2012-08-05 11:17:55 AM
That is the most stupid woman ever! How often do they use that bathroom?
 
2012-08-05 11:23:01 AM
When this woman gets over her horror, eventually she'll start wondering what the snake must have been eating under the floorboards.
 
2012-08-05 11:29:22 AM

Abox: marius2: Ed Finnerty: Abox: Protip: If you eat a banana and leave the peel in your work area it will smell like a dumpster.

Try broccoli sometime.

Broccoli with cheese is even worse. Or noodles with soy sauce.


Worse for what...what are we talking about here. Those don't have an element you throw away. Or did I miss a meme.


Maybe they're talking about farting?
 
2012-08-05 11:32:05 AM
longboxgraveyard.files.wordpress.com

"You, my children, are the water that will wash away all that has gone before. In your hand, you hold my light, the gleam in the eye of Set. This flame will burn away the darkness, burn you the way to paradise! "
 
2012-08-05 11:32:47 AM

Abox: marius2: Ed Finnerty: Abox: Protip: If you eat a banana and leave the peel in your work area it will smell like a dumpster.

Try broccoli sometime.

Broccoli with cheese is even worse. Or noodles with soy sauce.


Worse for what...what are we talking about here. Those don't have an element you throw away. Or did I miss a meme.


Sorry. I meant broccoli smells horrible when left out.
 
2012-08-05 11:34:56 AM
I'm thinking it would have been better if the article had used a picture of a yellow boa instead of a regular brown boa. I too was very confused thinking this woman must have been a complete idiot to mistake a brown snake for a banana.
 
2012-08-05 11:40:07 AM
and in the end the officer said to put a box with some water in it, as snakes like water for some reason

why do snakes like
why do snakes like music
why do snakes like gardens
why do snakes like water
why do snakes like pregnant women
 
2012-08-05 12:03:35 PM

Allen. The end.: I must echo earlier posts...

How do you "forget" about having a goll-durn rotting banana in your bathroom??? WTF, Brits?


Chavs?

www.boredandlazy.co.uk
 
2012-08-05 12:07:24 PM
FTA: "It's a rented property so we couldn't do that, and in the end the officer said to put a box with some water in it, as snakes like water for some reason, and leave it there.

They get thirsty? That'd be my first guess...
 
2012-08-05 12:17:54 PM

browser_snake: When this woman gets over her horror, eventually she'll start wondering what the snake must have been eating under the floorboards.



Well, that would take care of the mouse problem. Now what eats a snake?
 
2012-08-05 12:29:32 PM
Was he hiding it in his tailpipe? #dnrta
 
2012-08-05 12:37:49 PM
"But as the property was rented, the officer advised her to leave a tub full of water on the bathroom floor to entice the snake out."

Do you trust me?

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2012-08-05 12:43:48 PM
i280.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-05 01:10:22 PM
"Stacey Way, 28, was cleaning the bathroom floor when she noticed a yellow object next to the water pipe.

She assumed it was a banana her toddler had shoved down the side, and went to fetch her gloves to pick it up, but forgot about it.

A few days later she was bathing her two daughters and wiped the floor again when she suddenly saw the object move. "


She needed gloves to pick up a banana yet it's days before she cleans again? .

Yeah, now I know why the snake was there, probably a rodent smorgasbord

/bathrooms need to be cleaned daily. skanky lady is skanky
 
2012-08-05 01:14:49 PM
Boa constrictors originate from Central and South America and can grow up to 13 ft long, but the largest ever found measured a staggering 18 ft.

So... What you're saying is, they can grow up to 18 ft long, then.

farm9.staticflickr.com

I suppose Itasca State Park's red pine is older than the maximum age, too.
 
2012-08-05 01:19:42 PM
How high do you have to be to mistake a Boa Constrictor for a banana?
 
2012-08-05 02:51:11 PM
How farking ignorant do you have to be to not notice that there is a farking snake in your bathroom for several days?
 
2012-08-05 03:06:58 PM
personally, i'd like to know where brits get 4 ft bananas.
 
2012-08-05 04:04:52 PM
Back around 1990, I had a pet Red Tail Boa Constrictor. I was in the Navy at the time, and was on a Submarine.

Had to go on a Med Cruise, and I had someone take care of my snake. It was about 6 feet long, and about as big as my wrist. Had to feed it large Rats.

Somehow, she left to top open on the cage and the snake escaped.

3 months after this happened, I returned home, and was informed of what happened.

4 months after that, the Snake just showed up sitting in my kitchen sink... Bigger than before.

The apartment complex no longer had a rodent problem.
 
Displayed 50 of 56 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report