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(Daily Mail)   With one exception, all U.S. presidents are directly descended from one medieval English king   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Interesting, U.S., Martin Van Buren, china trains, New Mother, Magna Carta, U.S. presidents, John C Reilly, English  
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31496 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2012 at 3:13 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



217 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-08-04 11:49:46 PM  
I never did trust that Martin Van Buren.
 
2012-08-04 11:50:49 PM  
The motherfarking Dutch ruin something else. Jeeeesus Christ.
 
2012-08-04 11:54:30 PM  
There is one thing you can say about Van Buren...

He really liked the Hoes.

www.presidentsgraves.com
 
2012-08-04 11:57:19 PM  
If you go back enough generations, everyone share a common ancestor. This is not a surprise. Statistically speaking, every person of European descent is descended from the Emperor Charlemagne.
 
2012-08-04 11:59:13 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-05 12:01:56 AM  
Cousins?

But he's a Kenyan Usurper?

THIS IS UNPOSSIBLE!
 
2012-08-05 12:03:20 AM  

hubiestubert: Cousins?

But he's a Kenyan Usurper?

THIS IS UNPOSSIBLE!


Martin Van Buren: History's first Kenyan.
 
2012-08-05 12:11:01 AM  
Well, to tell a family secret... My grandmother was dutch.
 
2012-08-05 12:18:19 AM  

RexTalionis: Statistically speaking, every person of European descent is descended from the Emperor Charlemagne.


Even Charles Martel?

BURN
 
2012-08-05 12:26:23 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: I never did trust that Martin Van Buren.


But he has the integrity that America wants and has the mutton chops that America needs
 
2012-08-05 12:32:29 AM  
Everyone shares a common male ancestors...at 50,000 years ago.
 
2012-08-05 12:33:48 AM  
All is well and fine with the article, and the girl's work is awesome. But dear Jesus Hussein Christ DailyMail, 12 years old is not not not a teenager. Teenager is a concept unique to the English language that refers to ages thirteen to nineteen and thirteen to nineteen only. 12 years old is a pre-teen, a tween, a teenybopper, whatever. Just not a teen. Carry on with discussion of how awesome this young genealogist and her discoveries are.
 
2012-08-05 12:49:09 AM  
img109.imageshack.us

/right thread this time
 
2012-08-05 12:55:45 AM  

Kevin72: All is well and fine with the article, and the girl's work is awesome. But dear Jesus Hussein Christ DailyMail, 12 years old is not not not a teenager. Teenager is a concept unique to the English language that refers to ages thirteen to nineteen and thirteen to nineteen only. 12 years old is a pre-teen, a tween, a teenybopper, whatever. Just not a teen. Carry on with discussion of how awesome this young genealogist and her discoveries are.


I thought teenager and teenybopper were synonymous.
 
2012-08-05 01:02:33 AM  
Why does Van Buren hate the Magna Carta?
 
2012-08-05 01:03:02 AM  

shanrick: [i.imgur.com image 634x474]


is that some kind of racist comment?
 
2012-08-05 01:04:36 AM  

adiabat: Well, to tell a family secret... My grandmother was dutch.


Somebody get a rope.
 
2012-08-05 01:07:20 AM  

feckingmorons: Kevin72: All is well and fine with the article, and the girl's work is awesome. But dear Jesus Hussein Christ DailyMail, 12 years old is not not not a teenager. Teenager is a concept unique to the English language that refers to ages thirteen to nineteen and thirteen to nineteen only. 12 years old is a pre-teen, a tween, a teenybopper, whatever. Just not a teen. Carry on with discussion of how awesome this young genealogist and her discoveries are.

I thought teenager and teenybopper were synonymous.


I thought teenybopper referred to preteens who liked "bubblegum" music and were too young for hard rock. There could be 13, 14, year old teenyboppers I suppose. Some overlay.

/Sing it, Ohio Express!
 
2012-08-05 01:48:09 AM  

www.greatdreams.com

 
2012-08-05 02:00:02 AM  

RexTalionis: If you go back enough generations, everyone share a common ancestor. This is not a surprise. Statistically speaking, every person of European descent is descended from the Emperor Charlemagne.


Yeah, this seems kind of silly.
Good on her, though. It pays to pay for private school.
 
2012-08-05 02:24:08 AM  

miss diminutive: img109.imageshack.us


Hah!
 
2012-08-05 03:24:17 AM  

adiabat: Well, to tell a family secret... My grandmother was dutch.


Snerk... I had to laugh.
 
2012-08-05 03:24:56 AM  
All our Presidents are French?
 
2012-08-05 03:29:02 AM  
images.fandango.com
 
2012-08-05 03:29:32 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Van Buren has a lot of descendants of his own though. And they're just as mean as he was!
 
2012-08-05 03:31:44 AM  
Everyone has two parents. Four grandparents. Sixteen great-grandparents. etc.

At some point you get black sheep or rather prolific ancestors.
 
2012-08-05 03:32:24 AM  
Romney would like to retroactively join the family tree since Obama did it with his time machine.
 
2012-08-05 03:32:29 AM  
Interestingly, most people of European descent are hybrids of neanderthal and (mostly) human to differing degrees. This means we share a second set of common ancestors with each other WAY further back at the speciation event of neanderthals ~350-650k years ago.

/Sorry pure Africans, no neanderthal for you.
 
2012-08-05 03:33:22 AM  
I read somewhere that 8% of all Asians are descended from Genghis Khan because he loved to rape conquered women. I don't know by what criteria they obtained that figure.
 
2012-08-05 03:35:46 AM  

bifford: because


I heard it was 16 million living descendants.

/And yes, he reportedly LOVED raping.
 
2012-08-05 03:35:54 AM  
So wait, does this mean that President Obama is British as well as Kenyan? Damn, this might just make the collective head of the teabaggers explode!
 
2012-08-05 03:37:13 AM  

alex10294: Interestingly, most people of European descent are hybrids of neanderthal and (mostly) human to differing degrees. This means we share a second set of common ancestors with each other WAY further back at the speciation event of neanderthals ~350-650k years ago.

/Sorry pure Africans, no neanderthal for you.


That's a negatron there, sparky.
 
2012-08-05 03:38:18 AM  

Mock26: So wait, does this mean that President Obama is British as well as Kenyan? Damn, this might just make the collective head of the teabaggers explode!



His father was Kenyan when it was still part of the British empire.
 
2012-08-05 03:38:38 AM  

Mock26: So wait, does this mean that President Obama is British as well as Kenyan? Damn, this might just make the collective head of the teabaggers explode!


Well, Kenya was a Crown colony for many years, and colonizing can make one really horny.
 
2012-08-05 03:41:00 AM  
Yah, this is total farking bullshiat.
 
2012-08-05 03:43:26 AM  

Kevin72: All is well and fine with the article, and the girl's work is awesome. But dear Jesus Hussein Christ DailyMail, 12 years old is not not not a teenager. Teenager is a concept unique to the English language that refers to ages thirteen to nineteen and thirteen to nineteen only. 12 years old is a pre-teen, a tween, a teenybopper, whatever. Just not a teen. Carry on with discussion of how awesome this young genealogist and her discoveries are.


Kevin please let tween die. A few words I don't like, this is one of them.
 
2012-08-05 03:43:55 AM  

Mock26: So wait, does this mean that President Obama is British as well as Kenyan? Damn, this might just make the collective head of the teabaggers explode!


I guess you never followed the birther arguments thats usually the 2nd or 3rd thing mentioned.
 
2012-08-05 03:44:57 AM  

Mock26: So wait, does this mean that President Obama is British as well as Kenyan? Damn, this might just make the collective head of the teabaggers explode!


They've actually already got this angle covered.

* OBAMA ADMITS HE WAS BRITISH CITIZEN AT BIRTH - AS SUCH OBAMA IS NOT A NATURAL BORN CITIZEN OF US

* Obama was born a British citizen according to the British Nationality Act of 1948

* British Legal Experts Believe Obama Is Still A British Citizen

Just Google "Obama" and "British subject"...you'll find a treasure trove of derp.
 
2012-08-05 03:45:28 AM  
Riiiight.

That's like everyone in the U.S. claiming they have Native American blood, and are descended from Charlemagne.
 
2012-08-05 03:46:20 AM  

Atypical Person Reading Fark: Everyone shares a common male ancestors...at 50,000 6000 years ago.


double ftfy
 
2012-08-05 03:50:34 AM  

eraser8: Mock26: So wait, does this mean that President Obama is British as well as Kenyan? Damn, this might just make the collective head of the teabaggers explode!

They've actually already got this angle covered.

* OBAMA ADMITS HE WAS BRITISH CITIZEN AT BIRTH - AS SUCH OBAMA IS NOT A NATURAL BORN CITIZEN OF US

* Obama was born a British citizen according to the British Nationality Act of 1948

* British Legal Experts Believe Obama Is Still A British Citizen

Just Google "Obama" and "British subject"...you'll find a treasure trove of derp.


Seriously? I mean, seriously? I have pretty much tried my hardest to tune out as much of the birther movement as I could, and I actually was not aware that there was a "British connection" in there. I thought I was making a funny joke. Now, not so funny. I think I need to go and anesthetize my brain with some Scotch via my liver.
 
2012-08-05 03:52:44 AM  
klaussloves.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-05 03:52:50 AM  

alex10294: Interestingly, most people of European descent are hybrids of neanderthal and (mostly) human to differing degrees. This means we share a second set of common ancestors with each other WAY further back at the speciation event of neanderthals ~350-650k years ago.

/Sorry pure Africans, no neanderthal for you.


Except for George W. Bush, whose ancestors are more closely linked to chimpanzees.
 
2012-08-05 03:53:15 AM  
Cops can be dickheads but fifteen-year old girls can be too. There may be two sides to this story.
 
2012-08-05 03:53:35 AM  
Nearly 1000 years ago there was a Norman baron who saw a hot chick doing the family laundry in a stream. Picked her up (literally) took her home and she had a son and a daughter by him. The son was commonly known as William the Bastard due to the fact that his mom was the daughter of a tanner, A tanner was just about the bottom of the social scale since he spent most of his life squelching around in dog turds and urine and smelt like what you'd imagine Baldrick did.

Anyway William the B was a bit of a belligerent guy, possibly due to his nomenclature, and decided to take his resentments out on the english. Following a successful battle, he was renamed William the Conqueror.

All the subsequent kings and queens trace their lineage to him, and obviously, the anonymous tanner who was his grandfather.

My surname is Tanner. Therefore ....,
 
2012-08-05 03:53:49 AM  
wildcardjack - You had 16 great-grandparents? What kind of mutant are you? I only had eight. As did you, unless your name is Serpentor and you were created by Dr. Mindbender.
 
2012-08-05 03:58:50 AM  

Suede head: Cops can be dickheads but fifteen-year old girls can be too. There may be two sides to this story.


I... can't disagree. Suede head knows the score.
 
2012-08-05 04:00:57 AM  
Illuminati, anyone?
 
2012-08-05 04:01:27 AM  

LOTN: alex10294: Interestingly, most people of European descent are hybrids of neanderthal and (mostly) human to differing degrees. This means we share a second set of common ancestors with each other WAY further back at the speciation event of neanderthals ~350-650k years ago.

/Sorry pure Africans, no neanderthal for you.

That's a negatron there, sparky.


Actually, the link you gave says exactly what I was claiming, if you bother to read past the first paragraph. Explicitly, even.

/wouldn't bother to replt, but I hate sparky.. ;)
 
2012-08-05 04:04:36 AM  
shanrick:

He did sooo much farkin'....

feckingmorons:

I thought teenager and teenybopper were synonymous.

Only when their parents are out of town.
 
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