If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Canoe)   Suddenly every director wants Kristen Stewart in their films. Wonder why?   (jam.canoe.ca) divider line 133
    More: Followup, Kristen Stewart, dysfunctional family, Robert Pattinson  
•       •       •

9271 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Aug 2012 at 9:25 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



133 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-08-04 07:21:12 PM  
She really should get those giant ear flaps pinned back.
 
2012-08-04 07:29:53 PM  

Evenbiggerknickers: Quantum Apostrophe: ExperianScaresCthulhu: I don't understand. He ate *her* out, she didn't suck *him* off. What's in it for the directors? unless they're chicks.

You ever see 41 year old pussy?

Well, I looked in your profile, and there aren't any pictures of you...so no, I haven't.

Just this, but I don't think he's 40. Maybe in cat years.

[i54.tinypic.com image 728x1092]


Hey! Leave Tazzy Wazzy Woo out of this!
 
2012-08-04 07:38:33 PM  

rev. dave: She does look like she would be good for porn. If her career had started out that way then that poor guy would not have been so surprised by her tendency to sleep around.


Oh, my God! A 22-year-old made out with someone who wasn't her boyfriend!

SLUT! WHORE! SLATTERN!
 
2012-08-04 07:47:34 PM  
I don't care if she bites her lips. I never saw Twilight, but I've seen clips from interviews with her and she seemed cute as a button, if a little girly and immature. I'd nail her brains out and then take her home to meet my folks.
 
2012-08-04 09:07:41 PM  
She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.
 
2012-08-04 09:14:19 PM  

zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.


Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?
 
2012-08-04 09:36:05 PM  

MadAzza: rev. dave: She does look like she would be good for porn. If her career had started out that way then that poor guy would not have been so surprised by her tendency to sleep around.

Oh, my God! A 22-year-old made out with someone who wasn't her boyfriend!

SLUT! WHORE! SLATTERN!


Minx! Harlot! Malkin!

Malkin?

*checks thesaurus*

Malkin!
 
2012-08-04 09:40:00 PM  

Jekylman: MadAzza: rev. dave: She does look like she would be good for porn. If her career had started out that way then that poor guy would not have been so surprised by her tendency to sleep around.

Oh, my God! A 22-year-old made out with someone who wasn't her boyfriend!

SLUT! WHORE! SLATTERN!

Minx! Harlot! Malkin!

Malkin?

*checks thesaurus*

Malkin!


I would do unspeakable things to Michelle Malkin in bed if she'd let me.

That *is* the Malkin you were referring to,right?
 
2012-08-04 10:08:29 PM  

MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?


Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?
 
2012-08-04 10:14:14 PM  

zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?


You were talking about the women who want to kill themselves after they realize they've had sex with you ... Cupcake. (Is that good? Cupcake?) I offered to help you with your technique. Hurry, shoppers, time is running out!

"mkay, sport"?
 
2012-08-04 10:14:53 PM  

zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?


The jist: After farkin you the average girl kills herself.
 
2012-08-04 10:25:58 PM  

zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.


You didn't have to go there, man.
 
2012-08-04 10:27:47 PM  

zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?


She made total sense, sport. Maybe read a book on anatomy and erogenous zones sometime, mmkay?
 
2012-08-05 12:09:42 AM  
She seems like the kind of girl who is easily distracted by a bag of doritos, but in a good way. Like she could be talking about something boring and stupid and you want her to stop, so you say 'oh hey, you want some doritos? Oh yeah, and I also have a jar of peanut butter', and bam! she's distracted and occupied for the next half hour, trying to dip the chips into the peanut butter jar. And still weighing less than 200 lbs. Some people could be into that. Just sayin'.
 
2012-08-05 12:45:45 AM  

MadAzza: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

You were talking about the women who want to kill themselves after they realize they've had sex with you ... Cupcake. (Is that good? Cupcake?) I offered to help you with your technique. Hurry, shoppers, time is running out!

"mkay, sport"?


Uh..No.."cupcake"...I meant you'd find her in the bathtub with slit wrists because she's UNSTABLE. Ya know, farked up in the head, prone to doing stupid shiat like that.

/Sheesh....
 
2012-08-05 12:49:01 AM  

BumpInTheNight: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

The jist: After farkin you the average girl kills herself.


Interesting how I've been married for nearly twenty years and my wife is very much alive. I'll have to tell her that a bunch of strangers on Fark thinks she's supposed to off herself now due to their misinterpretation of a comment I made there.
 
2012-08-05 12:49:48 AM  

Apos: Jekylman: MadAzza: rev. dave: She does look like she would be good for porn. If her career had started out that way then that poor guy would not have been so surprised by her tendency to sleep around.

Oh, my God! A 22-year-old made out with someone who wasn't her boyfriend!

SLUT! WHORE! SLATTERN!

Minx! Harlot! Malkin!

Malkin?

*checks thesaurus*

Malkin!

I would do unspeakable things to Michelle Malkin in bed if she'd let me.

That *is* the Malkin you were referring to,right?


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-05 12:51:37 AM  

OgrePDX: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

She made total sense, sport. Maybe read a book on anatomy and erogenous zones sometime, mmkay?


I'll have to show this one to the wife, too. She'll get a charge out of hearing from total strangers on Fark about how I don't know where her magic spots are, especially after nearly twenty years of marriage.
 
2012-08-05 12:51:42 AM  

zappaisfrank: BumpInTheNight: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

The jist: After farkin you the average girl kills herself.

Interesting how I've been married for nearly twenty years and my wife is very much alive. I'll have to tell her that a bunch of strangers on Fark thinks she's supposed to off herself now due to their misinterpretation of a comment I made there.


No, they are just saying your wife isn't average.
 
2012-08-05 12:55:03 AM  
This is Kristen Stewart expressing boredom over the last two hours worth of posts

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-05 12:56:14 AM  

SharkTrager: zappaisfrank: BumpInTheNight: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

The jist: After farkin you the average girl kills herself.

Interesting how I've been married for nearly twenty years and my wife is very much alive. I'll have to tell her that a bunch of strangers on Fark thinks she's supposed to off herself now due to their misinterpretation of a comment I made there.

No, they are just saying your wife isn't average.


She isn't...she's well above average, and I'm an extremely lucky man!
 
2012-08-05 03:28:27 AM  
I'll poke a tard if its willing.
 
2012-08-05 07:24:28 AM  

zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

You were talking about the women who want to kill themselves after they realize they've had sex with you ... Cupcake. (Is that good? Cupcake?) I offered to help you with your technique. Hurry, shoppers, time is running out!

"mkay, sport"?

Uh..No.."cupcake"...I meant you'd find her in the bathtub with slit wrists because she's UNSTABLE. Ya know, farked up in the head, prone to doing stupid shiat like that.

/Sheesh....


IT WAS A JOKE.


Honestly, I meant no offense. I'm astounded that you took offense. I sincerely apologize.

I thought you'd laugh, and come back with something like, "Oh yeah? That's not what your mom said last night!" or something similar.

Let's just forget the whole thing.

I give up. Everything I say lately either pisses someone off or is taken the wrong way, so it must be me. I apologize, everyone, for everything.
 
2012-08-05 08:33:23 AM  
Don't go away mad, zappaisfrank!

Don't do it, man! We need you!
 
2012-08-05 10:24:29 AM  

Doran: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: FirstNationalBastard: Did you follow that up with post-graduate studies at the January Jones Actors Academy?

Yes, I did, and my fat suit wearing skills are UNPARALLELED.

That was the best conversation I've seen on this site in two years.


Trying my best, good sir - thank ya!


ambercat: She seems like the kind of girl who is easily distracted by a bag of doritos


Or any shiny object, really.
 
2012-08-05 11:28:17 AM  

cman: Am I the only one who would like to stick their finger up her private area?


I'd use my penis
 
2012-08-05 11:29:42 AM  

fearmongert: yeah, that's an UGLY woman...

/what's wrong with you guys?


It's the knees apparently
 
2012-08-05 01:06:24 PM  

MadAzza: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

You were talking about the women who want to kill themselves after they realize they've had sex with you ... Cupcake. (Is that good? Cupcake?) I offered to help you with your technique. Hurry, shoppers, time is running out!

"mkay, sport"?

Uh..No.."cupcake"...I meant you'd find her in the bathtub with slit wrists because she's UNSTABLE. Ya know, farked up in the head, prone to doing stupid shiat like that.

/Sheesh....

IT WAS A JOKE.

Honestly, I meant no offense. I'm astounded that you took offense. I sincerely apologize.

I thought you'd laugh, and come back with something like, "Oh yeah? That's not what your mom said last night!" or something similar.

Let's just forget the whole thing.

I give up. Everything I say lately either pisses someone off or is taken the wrong way, so it must be me. I apologize, everyone, for everything.


It made me Lol, but I knew what he meant and I knew you were making a joke. :)
 
2012-08-05 06:15:27 PM  
TwoLegit2Quit:

Thank you!
 
2012-08-06 07:38:44 AM  

MadAzza: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

You were talking about the women who want to kill themselves after they realize they've had sex with you ... Cupcake. (Is that good? Cupcake?) I offered to help you with your technique. Hurry, shoppers, time is running out!

"mkay, sport"?

Uh..No.."cupcake"...I meant you'd find her in the bathtub with slit wrists because she's UNSTABLE. Ya know, farked up in the head, prone to doing stupid shiat like that.

/Sheesh....

IT WAS A JOKE.

Honestly, I meant no offense. I'm astounded that you took offense. I sincerely apologize.

I thought you'd laugh, and come back with something like, "Oh yeah? That's not what your mom said last night!" or something similar.

Let's just forget the whole thing.

I give up. Everything I say lately either pisses someone off or is taken the wrong way, so it must be me. I apologize, everyone, for everything.


MadAzza: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: MadAzza: zappaisfrank: She's not unattractive, in fact she has a really rockin lil' ass on her. However, she strikes me as a total bring down to try to converse with.

I put her in the same league as Fiona Apple..the kind of girl you expect to find naked in the bathtub with her wrists slit after you bang her.

Jeez, don't be so hard on yourself. If you need practice or some lessons or something, maybe I can help. Unless it's a size problem?

Uh..what the fark are you talking about? Make sense next time, mkay, sport?

You were talking about the women who want to kill themselves after they realize they've had sex with you ... Cupcake. (Is that good? Cupcake?) I offered to help you with your technique. Hurry, shoppers, time is running out!

"mkay, sport"?

Uh..No.."cupcake"...I meant you'd find her in the bathtub with slit wrists because she's UNSTABLE. Ya know, farked up in the head, prone to doing stupid shiat like that.

/Sheesh....

IT WAS A JOKE.

Honestly, I meant no offense. I'm astounded that you took offense. I sincerely apologize.

I thought you'd laugh, and come back with something like, "Oh yeah? That's not what your mom said last night!" or something similar.

Let's just forget the whole thing.

I give up. Everything I say lately either pisses someone off or is taken the wrong way, so it must be me. I apologize, everyone, for everything.


So we both misunderstood...sorry for getting so butthurt about it. I thought you were offended by what I said!

Ok, never mind! No harm, no foul! It's all good.
 
2012-08-06 07:39:40 AM  

MadAzza: Don't go away mad, zappaisfrank!

Don't do it, man! We need you!


I'm here. Nice to be appreciated!
 
2012-08-06 10:55:05 AM  
Jokes were being had all around. I thought that was sort of the point of this place.
 
2012-08-06 12:43:17 PM  
zappaisfrank:

Yay! I'd much rather get along than not.
 
Displayed 33 of 133 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report