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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Former Senator Larry Craig (R-epublican) wants everyone to know that what happened between him and another man in a MSP toilet stall was "official business"   (startribune.com) divider line 88
    More: Amusing, private military, Senator Larry Craig  
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2804 clicks; posted to Politics » on 04 Aug 2012 at 12:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-04 02:00:19 AM

jaylectricity: Ed Finnerty: Lsherm: All this idiot ever had to do was fight the original charge. He was arrested for tapping his foot and running his hand along the underside of a bathroom stall. Even if you WERE there for sex, it would be pretty easy to argue that you weren't.

I worked at a college years ago and they had a problem with bathroom sex, so periodically university cops would come in the bathroom and stare at you through cracks in the door while you were taking a dump. That was creepy as hell.

I'm glad to see my uniform was convincing. Also, you use too much toilet paper.

I've been leaving the stall door unlocked my entire life and not once did you ever come in.


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-08-04 02:01:28 AM
So when a Senator goes into the bathroom for some hot gayosexual monkey love, or hell, even to take a healthy Senatorial shiat, that is official business, eh? Then there should be records kept, shouldn't there? Perhaps the very turds themselves should be preserved in the National Archives for posterity.

As a matter of fact, I think that flushing official Senatorial turds down the toilet could be construed as destruction of Federal property. I believe Mr Craig has some serious explaining to do here, and the Senate as a whole as well. Christ, they pitch a biatch if an email gets deleted but hundreds of turds a day are gone irrevocably, lost forever to future historians.
 
2012-08-04 02:06:32 AM
Airplane! 2012 : And Larry's getting LIAR-ier
 
2012-08-04 02:09:49 AM

crozzo: So when a Senator goes into the bathroom for some hot gayosexual monkey love, or hell, even to take a healthy Senatorial shiat, that is official business, eh? Then there should be records kept, shouldn't there? Perhaps the very turds themselves should be preserved in the National Archives for posterity.

As a matter of fact, I think that flushing official Senatorial turds down the toilet could be construed as destruction of Federal property. I believe Mr Craig has some serious explaining to do here, and the Senate as a whole as well. Christ, they pitch a biatch if an email gets deleted but hundreds of turds a day are gone irrevocably, lost forever to future historians.


As long as the other guy uses the proper title..."Oh, Mr. Senator!"
 
2012-08-04 02:10:47 AM

Lionel Mandrake: Some people just don't know when to shut up.



I wonder what his Fark name is?
 
2012-08-04 02:29:17 AM
Holy shiat!! I started giggling when the article confirmed the fark headline, and it only got worse as I read to the end of the article. There's something about some old codger referring to teh buttsex as "official business" that is just too funny.

I can't believe he's actually gonna go with that! Comedy gold! It's probably too much to ask for Jon Stewart to bring it up on Monday. :(
 
2012-08-04 02:40:19 AM
There was a vast disturbance in The Force as if millions of Republicans facepalmed.
 
2012-08-04 02:42:16 AM

Kibbler: There was a vast disturbance in The Force as if millions of Republicans facepalmed.


Don't you mean "rubbed one out?"
 
2012-08-04 02:51:58 AM
why couldn't the senator take a big sh*t. at least then he could help the Congress' image of getting something done for a change. even if its just taking a giant sh*t.

Senator Craig, you had the opportunity to redeem your party and the U.S. Senate, but instead, you sucked on a stranger's cock.

my oh my you are silly.
 
2012-08-04 03:22:39 AM
Former Senator Larry Craig (

Honestly, that reads extraordinarily well. Could give two farks about his explanation.
 
2012-08-04 03:26:24 AM
Perhaps, Mr. Craig, if you and the reprehensible scumfarks in your party had worked to give rights to gay people and celebrate sexuality instead of demonizing it, you wouldn't have had to resort to meeting random people in bathroom stalls for sex.
 
2012-08-04 03:27:24 AM
CSB

I sat down in a stall in the bathroom at the Red Rock casino and locked the stall shut and instantly I saw a black package fall down on the floor and noticed it was a condom package. Then I saw a hand pick up the package. I left immediately and went to another bathroom. I assume that this was a similar type of situation?

/csb
 
2012-08-04 03:28:21 AM

king of vegas: CSB

I sat down in a stall in the bathroom at the Red Rock casino and locked the stall shut and instantly I saw a black package fall down on the floor and noticed it was a condom package. Then I saw a hand pick up the package. I left immediately and went to another bathroom. I assume that this was a similar type of situation?

/csb


No, he was DTF.
 
2012-08-04 03:29:30 AM

king of vegas: CSB

I sat down in a stall in the bathroom at the Red Rock casino and locked the stall shut and instantly I saw a black package fall down on the floor and noticed it was a condom package. Then I saw a hand pick up the package. I left immediately and went to another bathroom. I assume that this was a similar type of situation?

/csb


Unless you just mean the type of situation then you would be correct. Craig reciprocated.
 
2012-08-04 03:31:35 AM
He should contact John Edwards' lawyers.
 
2012-08-04 03:38:52 AM

Lsherm: Breaker Moran: Lsherm: All this idiot ever had to do was fight the original charge. He was arrested for tapping his foot and running his hand along the underside of a bathroom stall. Even if you WERE there for sex, it would be pretty easy to argue that you weren't.

I worked at a college years ago and they had a problem with bathroom sex, so periodically university cops would come in the bathroom and stare at you through cracks in the door while you were taking a dump. That was creepy as hell.

Was that at Oral Roberts University?

/keeding

Nah, it was in downtown DC. There was one particular building on campus that became a random gay sex hangout, much like airport bathrooms and rest areas are these days.

That was 20+ years ago. They actually busted enough people that it isn't a hangout anymore.


HA! Gay Washingroom University?

/do not know from experience
//not judging either just had to throw that out there
 
2012-08-04 03:41:45 AM
Actually, he may have a point here. From what I understand, it is part of the conservative Republican operations guide to solicit sex whenever they are traveling. By providing their constituents with happy endings, they increase the loyalty to the party. Otherwise, those Republican supporters would have depend solely upon their wives for sex. And that would be disgusting.
 
2012-08-04 03:45:10 AM

fark'emfeed'emfish: Lsherm: Breaker Moran: Lsherm: All this idiot ever had to do was fight the original charge. He was arrested for tapping his foot and running his hand along the underside of a bathroom stall. Even if you WERE there for sex, it would be pretty easy to argue that you weren't.

I worked at a college years ago and they had a problem with bathroom sex, so periodically university cops would come in the bathroom and stare at you through cracks in the door while you were taking a dump. That was creepy as hell.

Was that at Oral Roberts University?

/keeding

Nah, it was in downtown DC. There was one particular building on campus that became a random gay sex hangout, much like airport bathrooms and rest areas are these days.

That was 20+ years ago. They actually busted enough people that it isn't a hangout anymore.

HA! Gay Washingroom University?

/do not know from experience
//not judging either just had to throw that out there


Yeah, that'd be the one. Well, one of their buildings anyway.
 
2012-08-04 04:08:21 AM
Lsherm:

HA! Gay Washingroom University?

/do not know from experience
//not judging either just had to throw that out there

Yeah, that'd be the one. Well, one of their buildings anyway.

right... I attended for a year and a half or so (...erm GW, not the washroom) in my checkered educational past. Still miss that city on occasion, no idea why.
 
2012-08-04 04:11:35 AM

Keizer_Ghidorah: One of the men's bathrooms at the community college I went to was a hotspot for gay fun. Tap a foot, tap back, rub them together to show you both know what you mean, and then the blowing and stroking and humping could commence. Partook of it many times myself, most were average guys but sometimes there'd be a hottie/hung guy/both.


Hm...gay...horny...crazy...frat boy...

Never had you pegged for at least one of those.
 
2012-08-04 05:44:05 AM
Of course it was "Official" business! That's what Craig's calls his ... uh ahem ... little buddy - "The Official".
 
2012-08-04 06:00:03 AM

Bucky Katt: FTFA: U.S. Senate rule in which reimbursable per diem expenses include all charges for meals, lodging, hotel fans, cleaning, pressing of clothing - and bathrooms.

When I grow up I want to be a senator.


I don't think grown-ups are allowed to be senators these days.

/Also, you're a stinky poopyface doodyhead
//Can I count on your vote?
 
2012-08-04 06:03:33 AM
FTFA: "paid at least $139,952 to the law firm Sutherland, Asbill and Brennan in Washington, D.C., and $77,032 to Kelly & Jacobson in Minnesota for legal services related to his guilty plea"

He paid almost a quarter of a million dollars to plead GUILTY? Couldn't he have just done that for free?
 
2012-08-04 06:23:36 AM

Epicanis: FTFA: "paid at least $139,952 to the law firm Sutherland, Asbill and Brennan in Washington, D.C., and $77,032 to Kelly & Jacobson in Minnesota for legal services related to his guilty plea"

He paid almost a quarter of a million dollars to plead GUILTY? Couldn't he have just done that for free?


I think all the legal work was trying to undo the guilty plea. If he had any competent counsel in the first place, he wouldn't have plead guilty.
 
2012-08-04 06:49:08 AM

Lsherm: Epicanis: FTFA: "paid at least $139,952 to the law firm Sutherland, Asbill and Brennan in Washington, D.C., and $77,032 to Kelly & Jacobson in Minnesota for legal services related to his guilty plea"

He paid almost a quarter of a million dollars to plead GUILTY? Couldn't he have just done that for free?

I think all the legal work was trying to undo the guilty plea. If he had any competent counsel in the first place, he wouldn't have plead guilty.


He probably plead guilty because he wanted to get it over with and he figured it would blow over, no pun intended, and the public wouldn't find out about it. But what the older generation of politicians never seem to get a grasp of is that we are now in the era of the internet and the 24 hour coast to coast news cycle, and the news networks are constantly looking for something to put on the news. 10 or 20 years ago, yeah he probably could have plead guilty and it wouldn't have gotten back to his constituents or made national news, but now that isn't going to happen. And when he realized this he fought to change his plea.
 
2012-08-04 07:34:48 AM

Bocasio: Anyone from Phillidelphia explain why at the airport the men's urinals have mirrors???

Restroom rules:
/no making conversation


So you can see when a creeper is behind you.
 
2012-08-04 09:24:19 AM

Nogrhi: Sounds like the wide stance defense.


I had managed to forget about Larry Craig...until a few weeks ago when the TSA agent who was patting me down asked me to assume a "wide stance". We shared a laugh over that. Especially when I told him that I had actually met former Senator Craig the week that scandal broke...in an airport.

/ I was traveling with one of my bosses. She had known him from her previous gig and introduced me in the course of chatting him up to try and loosen up some federal funding. She later commented that he seemed distracted....
 
2012-08-04 09:40:24 AM
Did your lawyer tell you to bring up this story that has been dead for five years? Did he tell you to make a joke about defending your "official use of the bathroom"? Then you should fire him.
 
2012-08-04 10:43:16 AM

indylaw: Did your lawyer tell you to bring up this story that has been dead for five years? Did he tell you to make a joke about defending your "official use of the bathroom"? Then you should fire him.


Actually, it was his lawyer Andrew Herman who made the argument, and it's not like he brought the story up again himself. The FEC is saying that he misused campaign money to mount his legal defense of the toe-tapping incident (which consisted of pleading guilty and then telling everyone he misunderstood and meant to put a "not" in his plea and check off the not guilty boxes on the paperwork instead of the guilty ones). His lawyer is arguing that since he was traveling between Idaho and Washington the trip was for official business and he could use campaign funds to pay for expenses arising from the trip (lodging, meals, etc.) it stands to reason that paying for legal defense of a crime commited on the trip would fall into this category.

...I don't think the lawyer is very good at this, but his lawyer is definitely involved.
 
2012-08-04 11:26:20 AM
Also, to clarify something from the article: Herman is arguing that it would be legal for Craig to use it for this incident because the FEC allowed Jim Kolbe to use campaign funds to defend against allegations that he molested some male pages on a camping trip and there is no difference between the two cases. Two problems with that:

1) Investigators didn't even pursue the camping trip allegations; they reviewed the case and ultimately dropped the charges.

2) The FEC case involving Kolbe was actually him using campaign funds for his legal costs during the Mark Foley scandal, where Kolbe claimed he found out about innapropriate behavior by Foley in 2000 and reported it whereas the party leaders they said they had no idea it was going on. In other words, the case in question revolved around communications with other Representatives and the official House page program, a pretty clear work-related event. For the comparison to be accurate, the FEC would have had to allow Foley to use campaign funds to defend himself.
 
2012-08-04 11:36:22 AM
At some point his trial will get to the science stage, wherein his lawyers will show evidence that a wide stance has been proven to cause spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of anonymous gay bathroom sex.
 
2012-08-04 12:14:34 PM

Grungehamster: indylaw: Did your lawyer tell you to bring up this story that has been dead for five years? Did he tell you to make a joke about defending your "official use of the bathroom"? Then you should fire him.

Actually, it was his lawyer Andrew Herman who made the argument, and it's not like he brought the story up again himself. The FEC is saying that he misused campaign money to mount his legal defense of the toe-tapping incident (which consisted of pleading guilty and then telling everyone he misunderstood and meant to put a "not" in his plea and check off the not guilty boxes on the paperwork instead of the guilty ones). His lawyer is arguing that since he was traveling between Idaho and Washington the trip was for official business and he could use campaign funds to pay for expenses arising from the trip (lodging, meals, etc.) it stands to reason that paying for legal defense of a crime commited on the trip would fall into this category.

...I don't think the lawyer is very good at this, but his lawyer is definitely involved.


You can't polish a turd, I guess. Presumably Craig had some sort of deal to induce a guilty plea. Pulling out when that's your best defense is a stupid move.
 
2012-08-04 02:18:26 PM
Seems he has a very wide stance on what constitutes "official buiness"

But I guess anyone in the business of farking over the American people on a regular basis would thing farking another man in a public bathroon stall is also part of his job.
 
2012-08-04 03:17:54 PM

ongbok: bobbette: Reasonably zealous legal defense IMO. He was on his way to work.

Hey, it's worth a shot.

What I think might be worth discussing even now is how ridiculous it is to be arrested for signaling you're down to fark somebody. If this were illegal for straight men, there would be a mass incarceration like we have never seen.

Signaling somebody that you are ready to fark shouldn't be illegal, but gay or straight if you are going to fark in a public place that is illegal. Craig was trying to get his action on right their in the bathroom, and don't even tryo to lie to yourself or others and say he wasn't.


Yeah, that's the big distinction. Trying to pick someone up in a crowded bar is not the same thing as bending someone over a barstool in a crowded bar.
 
2012-08-04 04:02:48 PM

Gyrfalcon: Keizer_Ghidorah: One of the men's bathrooms at the community college I went to was a hotspot for gay fun. Tap a foot, tap back, rub them together to show you both know what you mean, and then the blowing and stroking and humping could commence. Partook of it many times myself, most were average guys but sometimes there'd be a hottie/hung guy/both.

Hm...gay...horny...crazy...frat boy...

Never had you pegged for at least one of those.


Bisexual, very horny, slightly crazy, never part of a frat.

/the best pleasures in life are carnal
 
2012-08-04 04:53:12 PM

Grungehamster: His lawyer is arguing that since he was traveling between Idaho and Washington the trip was for official business and he could use campaign funds to pay for expenses arising from the trip (lodging, meals, etc.) it stands to reason that paying for legal defense of a crime commited on the trip would fall into this category.


It stands to reason, in the same way that it stands to reason that my company's policy on reimbursing travel expenses includes any hookers and blow I procure on the trip.

/I bet that would make for a great story for someone in Accounting.
 
2012-08-04 05:01:32 PM
Yeah, he was officially giving that guy the business.
 
2012-08-04 05:33:53 PM

Lsherm: All this idiot ever had to do was fight the original charge. He was arrested for tapping his foot and running his hand along the underside of a bathroom stall. Even if you WERE there for sex, it would be pretty easy to argue that you weren't.



Since he pled guilty to the lesser charge of disorderly conduct then I would have to say there is more to the story than we know about.

I speculate that money was flashed and hushing it was part of the deal?

/as a Senator he had influence.....
 
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