This name thing is outta hand. I met a little girl named Zane` the other day. WTF is that about?

/Silly CEO's should be shot in a suitably silly manner.

Now that is funny.

silly company names, like, y'know.....FARK


/probably banned again

conglom-o

The dumbest change ever was "International Harvester" to "Navistar".

It's shorter, but man - International Harvester is a cool as hell name.

Cornholio?

ineventive name for a ineventive poser...errr company.

Sorta off topic. I went to school with a girl named "Abcde."

Pronounced: Ahb-Suh-Dee

No joke.

Where is the ironic part?

The article staes that "A prank website set up to mock the trend for nonsense brand names has spectacularly backfired on its creators", but I don't think so. I'd say that's a pretty good punchline myself.

That's funny as hell. I should do that for a living.

How about Intellivent, Verticor, Xinix, Qart...

I could do this all day.

2003-11-18 11:16:16 AM TheFiefdom


That's funny as hell. I should do that for a living.

How about Intellivent, Verticor, Xinix, Qart...

I could do this all day.


You'd better trademark those quick!

I was thinking of a great company call DUMAS'

!Microlimp!

What about companies named after people?

I mean, what sort of vain asshat names the company after themselves?

It seems that lawyers and investment houses are notorious for thi.... ohhhhhh it all makes sense now ;)

"something cutting edge like CUTCO or EDGECOM..."

TotalFark (tm)

http://www.prokai.com/btdoya.html

"The only two names that haven't been used yet are 'Tastsicles' and 'Popplers'"

-Futurama

Wesayso Corporation

The way that companies are named now seems to be closely akin to what I believe the pharmaseutical companies use for naming new medications: Take a list of all the possible syllables you can pronounce, chose any 4 at random, add an -amide, or -idine ending on it. Whang-O! New medication name.

New from MegaPharmCo Industries: Gromophyll (fenphexylgromodine hydrobromide) Ask your doctor if Gromophyll is right for you!

News Flash: Norfolk & Winston railroad mergers with Waypal Delivery Services. Company name to be changed to "Norfolk & Waypal"

-/works for a company partnered with Accenture...

Thank God, CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet hasn't been taken yet.

Can I have some money now?

I just wonder how long it will be till one of these companies sue the website.

Zombo

Welcome.

God help me, I can't tell if this is actually ironic or not. Years browsing Fark has skewed my perceptions.

trapped-in-CH,


Hula Hooping to Zombo is better than a Strawberry Pop Tart. I think I exaggerated, nothing beats a Strawberry Pop Tart.

The God's of Hyperbole mock me.

I don't see how this is surprising, or even that the guys mocking the trend are onto anything very original, humour-wise. We mocked this back in my pharmacy school days when drug co's were already running out of names for drugs (and part of the problem there is that you can't have a name that sounds even remotely like another, or might be confused with another when written, in order to prevent prescription errors. Pretty soon they'll just be called geometric symbols, like the Artist Formerly Known As Prince).

See also: automobiles.

If you google "Corus" a whole heap of companies turn up. I was aware of Corus entertainment group (which kind of makes sense as a misspelling of "Chorus"), but discovered there's a pile of different co's trading under the name.

Pederasto

The game you play with yourself!

Complete list of names from site:

brand[0] = "A"
brand[1] = "3dge"
brand[2] = "4orce"
brand[3] = "A4"
brand[4] = "ABC"
brand[5] = "absorbeo"
brand[6] = "acclivius"
brand[7] = "accredo"
brand[8] = "accumulo"
brand[9] = "activ8"
brand[10] = "advancel"
brand[11] = "advantedge"
brand[12] = "affinitas"
brand[13] = "aliquis"
brand[14] = "amplifico"
brand[15] = "annecto"
brand[16] = "appendectic"
brand[17] = "archidictus"
brand[18] = "beyonder"
brand[19] = "biopace"
brand[20] = "bivium"
brand[21] = "brandabout"
brand[22] = "caffinade"
brand[23] = "canwill"
brand[24] = "cassida"
brand[25] = "commercium"
brand[26] = "commitmen"
brand[27] = "comprehendo"
brand[28] = "concepta"
brand[29] = "congressus"
brand[30] = "cultura"
brand[31] = "dehinc"
brand[32] = "diwrecktive"
brand[33] = "ditto"
brand[34] = "e-sensual"
brand[35] = "emineo"
brand[36] = "enhancion"
brand[37] = "ensis"
brand[38] = "everfast"
brand[39] = "evolver"
brand[40] = "excellentia"
brand[41] = "expleo"
brand[42] = "exsilio"
brand[43] = "exuo"
brand[44] = "fanaticus"
brand[45] = "festinatio"
brand[46] = "forward"
brand[47] = "frequentia"
brand[48] = "genitalis"
brand[49] = "globall"
brand[50] = "holisstick"
brand[51] = "huius"
brand[52] = "hypocrita"
brand[53] = "iento"
brand[54] = "impleo"
brand[55] = "indicko"
brand[56] = "ineo"
brand[57] = "inexperta"
brand[58] = "informo"
brand[59] = "injext"
brand[60] = "INNO>8"
brand[61] = "integriti"
brand[62] = "intendo"
brand[63] = "intenta"
brand[64] = "introduco"
brand[65] = "invalesco"
brand[66] = "iuro"
brand[67] = "jubilo"
brand[68] = "justicia"
brand[69] = "laetor"
brand[70] = "largus"
brand[71] = "lascivio"
brand[72] = "lepor"
brand[73] = "libido"
brand[74] = "libero"
brand[75] = "libertas"
brand[76] = "licentia"
brand[77] = "luxus"
brand[78] = "M8"
brand[79] = "mediocris"
brand[80] = "millennium"
brand[81] = "minimus"
brand[82] = "multiplicatus"
brand[83] = "munero"
brand[84] = "munimentum"
brand[85] = "newsagentia"
brand[86] = "newsphoria"
brand[87] = "notitia"
brand[88] = "optilogo"
brand[89] = "ovisovis"
brand[90] = "P+US"
brand[91] = "passionce"
brand[92] = "penetro"
brand[93] = "penus"
brand[94] = "PioNear"
brand[95] = "phellatio"
brand[96] = "praeeo"
brand[97] = "praevaleo"
brand[98] = "pro-performa"
brand[99] = "proceede"
brand[100] = "professio"
brand[101] = "profitimo"
brand[102] = "profiterolo"
brand[103] = "progressia"
brand[104] = "pubesco"
brand[105] = "qualibit"
brand[106] = "qualitis"
brand[107] = "quodammodo"
brand[108] = "rapidene"
brand[109] = "rebellis"
brand[110] = "repedo"
brand[111] = "responsiva"
brand[112] = "ridiculus"
brand[113] = "retardo"
brand[114] = "ruina"
brand[115] = "semenitia"
brand[116] = "seposita"
brand[117] = "sollicito"
brand[118] = "sperma"
brand[119] = "stratedgy"
brand[120] = "subigo"
brand[121] = "substructio"
brand[122] = "sufficio"
brand[123] = "sunday"
brand[124] = "supplex"
brand[125] = "T.E.E.M"
brand[126] = "tantrum"
brand[127] = "tempero"
brand[128] = "tenax"
brand[129] = "there4"
brand[130] = "thinc"
brand[131] = "togethia"
brand[132] = "tripudio"
brand[133] = "tu2"
brand[134] = "ualeo"
brand[135] = "uncia"
brand[136] = "universus"
brand[137] = "utor"
brand[138] = "velitatio"
brand[139] = "vere"
brand[140] = "vigeo"
brand[141] = "visulade"
brand[142] = "vix"
brand[143] = "vulgo"
brand[144] = "vulva"
brand[145] = "werld"
brand[146] = "winwin"
brand[147] = "winnovate"
brand[148] = "Xpenditure"
brand[149] = "Yessential"

According to whatbrandareyou.com, I am "Libertas". I kind of like that.

There is, as alluded to by prior posters, a dwindling number of really good names for companies/products in the english language.

Wanna know how hard it is to get a name that works? Observe how the 'made up' names usually don't fit these criteria and thus usually are shiat.

In no particular order....

~~It must involve as many of the five senses as practically possible. The chances of you remembering the name go up dramatically if you can 'see, smell, hear, taste, or touch' the name. Case in point: Red Pepper Software...red color sticks out, implies kinda spicy, you can almost hear the grill cooking and this adds up to a vivid image, albeit in the subconcious, in your mind.

~~It must sound well phonetically. 'Facial Aesthetics' for a beauty salon kinda rubs one the wrong way...it just doesn't have a good snap to it...that's because phonetically it says 'fay-shull ass-tet-icks'. Not so pretty now...a name must roll off of the tongue, almost like poetry.

~~A name should be 4 syllables and 17 letters max...this is really a biatch to manage sometimes. Look at Federal Express...5 syllables. So what did people call it? FedEx. FedEx hated this, spent all kinds of money to try to counter it, then just gave in...look at all of the trucks and jets they have. They all say FedEx now, not Federal Express. You probably never noticed, but they changed their name officially a few years back.

~~It obviously has to convey something about your company...your personality is what you are aiming at showing. A good example of this is 'Yahoo!'. The name says it all (notice the exclam is part of the word everywhere you see it). You want to communicate as much info as possible in that little name. It ain't easy.

~~You need to take note of all of the other competitors in your industry, and make sure you DO NOT sound like them. If you sound like them, in the mind of the consumer, you ARE them...just another fish in the sea. You need to be a special fish.

~~You have to avoid superlatives. Pinnacle, Summit, Global, International, etc are all overused and indicate puffery and bluster...you also have to avoid initials and monograms like the PLAGUE. Just because it worked for IBM and GE doesn't mean you can do it as well. 75 odd years of company history and titanic brand recognition superceded the initial thing for both of these companies. Unless you have the enormous recources to establish such a non-name, don't try. You'll end up sounding like everyone else again. ADM, ACC, FDF, DNI, ACS, GDA, GFS, ASL, AHS, etc... I made up a few of those, and a few of them are real companies...can you tell which is which?

Making a name for a commercial enterprise or product is a serious pain. Getting it wrong won't kill you, but getting it really wrong will. Remember the Plymouth Roadrunner? It was slated to be called the Plymouth LaMancha until a marketing guy watched cartoons with his kids one morning...the same guys almost called the Plymouth Duster the Plymouth Beaver by the way. Either one of those choices would've killed the car...both would've killed the company! Get it wrong: nothing but bad. Get it right: it is nothing short of marketing steroids for your brand.

These made up names people love to adopt? You be the judge.

Oh yeah...props to Harry Beckwith for his wonderful series of books on the subject of service marketing without which I'd be less enlightened about marketing.

~~business owner/marketing guru

A company I used to work for went through this and paid 25K for the following name suggestions:

MindPark
ThinkStation
Lionfish
Chomp
Cilantro

They ended going with the in-house suggestion, "Fatbrain".

My favorites on that list are "genitalis" and "pubesco". Heh heh... What products would those companies manufacture?

Isnt it ironic dont you think...wait, this really IS irony. Amazing.

SMH: allow me to correct you:

According to government records, The only names not yet trademarked are "popplers" and "zitsels".

Ask your doctor if TotalFark(tm) is right for you.

Common side effects include dry mouth, constipation, anxiety, sweaty palms, sexual dysfuntion, bad breath, tingling of the extemities, and headache.

Penus.

they forgot Aventage and Virulux.

According to the Museum of Hoaxes, this isn't what it looks like. Some of those names were copyrighted before that joke site used them, probably because they looked funny and so when they finally came out people would give them all sorts of attention.

HOW IS THIS IRONIC THIS IS NOT IRONIC WHY IS IT THAT HARD DOES NOONE READ MY ANGRY MESSAGES RABBLE. RABBLE RABBLE. NOW DO IT RIGHT I'M JUSTIN KEEEEEENNNNNNNEEEEEEELLLLL

carrion_luggage

That was great!

/me wipes soda off monitor

Never mind company names, what the hell is Cadbury up to with all those "Dairy Milk With" varieties replacing their established and diverse brands?

I think somewhere their marketing manager had a stroke, and not of the kitten death kind. I miss my Fruit & Nut, Caramel, Crunchie, Whispa... :/

What was it Royal Mail have officially become, while remaining RM unofficially? Connexa or soemthing. Sounds like a bus company.


PS Dextromethorphan hydrobromide! I'd like to pretend *thats* made up with -an's and -ide's stuck on the end, but I have a chemist buddy who could take you through all the subtle ingredients that make those names up, both chemically and lingually.
Mmmm... psychedelic cough remedy.

Excellent post, TheGoblinKing. Very similar to teachings by Al Reis.

So what do you think of "Radioactive Clown" as a company name? Too many syllables, sure. Other than that? I guess I should mention that we're already using it. Nevertheless, I'm interested in hearing what some of you Farkers think about it. Voice your opinion in 5...4...3...

(uni)TED Airlines

I thought that one was a JOKE!