If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CBC)   Male trees winning battle of the sexes in Canada   (cbc.ca) divider line 31
    More: Strange, urban forest, male trees, city planners  
•       •       •

2978 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2012 at 6:43 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-08-03 03:38:48 PM  
*to be sung like a capon*

There is unrest in the forest,
There is trouble with the trees!
For the Ash poles want more sunlight
And the beeches make me wheeze!
 
2012-08-03 04:14:57 PM  
I hate when the bukkake all over my face. Stupid allergies.
 
2012-08-03 04:19:43 PM  
Legalizing gay marriage set us upon an irreversible slippery-slope, people.

It's pine CONES, not pine SCONES!
 
2012-08-03 04:34:43 PM  
Eh
 
2012-08-03 05:06:34 PM  
How do you tell a male tree from a female tree? Do the male trees have dicks hanging off them?
 
2012-08-03 05:08:52 PM  

Walker: How do you tell a male tree from a female tree? Do the male trees have dicks hanging off them?


More or less, yes.
 
2012-08-03 05:15:32 PM  

cretinbob: Walker: How do you tell a male tree from a female tree? Do the male trees have dicks hanging off them?

More or less, yes.


I didn't know there were male and female trees....or how to tell the difference. I guess you can't lift them up and look underneath.

/didn't really pay attention in school
 
2012-08-03 05:46:23 PM  
Small town I grew up in, Port Hope Ontario, had plenty of ginko trees growing along its' streets. I miss those.
 
2012-08-03 05:47:56 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Appro....DAMMIT!
 
2012-08-03 05:52:19 PM  

Walker: I didn't know there were male and female trees....or how to tell the difference.


Luckily the Internets haz some information on this.
 
2012-08-03 06:44:26 PM  
Suck it, birches.
 
2012-08-03 06:47:36 PM  
Sappy
 
2012-08-03 06:48:07 PM  
I has a female tree. That means I get seeds for more trees.
 
2012-08-03 06:58:06 PM  
Yeah some scientist jackass had this GREAT idea in Georgia to only replant male Pinetrees thought the 1980's. YOU sir whoever you are with your voodoo tree BC.. ARE AN ASS.
/have no idea if anything I just said was true
 
2012-08-03 07:02:08 PM  

Walker: How do you tell a male tree from a female tree? Do the male trees have dicks hanging off them?


Large and unsightly female trees tend to grow in groups in order to choke out sunlight and nutrients from the more slender and attractive female trees.
Also, when wind blows through the leaves of a male tree, it makes a soothing, "wooshing" sound. When wind blows through the leaves of a female tree, it makes a shrill, high-pitched, annoying sound that you'd swear was nagging.
 
2012-08-03 07:05:47 PM  

Ghastly: I hate when the[y] bukkake all over my face. Stupid allergies.


Sometimes there's even an appropriate odor to go with it.
 
2012-08-03 07:07:08 PM  
With the lack of females the males are really going to be pining for some good wood. I sure hope these researches don't bow to the pressure, or end up barking up the wrong tree and get to the root of the problem.
 
2012-08-03 07:14:16 PM  
Nasty pollen all over my vehicle?... yeah... I hate it when trees jizz all over my car.
 
2012-08-03 07:26:51 PM  
It's not gay if the branches don't touch.
 
2012-08-03 07:28:19 PM  
t2.gstatic.com

WINNING!!!!
 
2012-08-03 07:31:21 PM  
GO TEAM!
 
2012-08-03 07:43:44 PM  
Misses the Entwives....

i53.photobucket.com

/Hot as the fires of Mt. Doom
 
2012-08-03 07:54:17 PM  
Um,

Female trees have better burls...

;)
 
2012-08-03 08:02:15 PM  
wdr-tree-sex.html?
 
2012-08-03 08:35:00 PM  
Came for the ugly Americans treegasm reference. Leaving disappointed.
 
2012-08-03 09:15:19 PM  

Ball of Confusion: Came for the ugly Americans treegasm reference. Leaving disappointed.


That was a good episode.
 
2012-08-03 09:43:09 PM  

cretinbob: Ball of Confusion: Came for the ugly Americans treegasm reference. Leaving disappointed.

That was a good episode.


You guys rely too much on other media, man.
 
2012-08-03 09:43:44 PM  
The only sexually dimorphous tree is the ginkgo. This can't possibly be a real problem in Canadia.
 
2012-08-03 10:39:51 PM  
An Iranian professor once told me that the ancient Persians believed that date palms have lively sex lives and that the lady palms fell in love with the male palms. Apparently there are old Persian fairy tales that reflect this. Personally, I suspect it may be a weird case of repressed Persian women projecting their libidos on trees, but FWIW.

Got nothin' on Canada.
 
2012-08-03 10:59:13 PM  

Walker: cretinbob: Walker: How do you tell a male tree from a female tree? Do the male trees have dicks hanging off them?

More or less, yes.

I didn't know there were male and female trees....or how to tell the difference. I guess you can't lift them up and look underneath.

/didn't really pay attention in school


There is a pic of a tree penis here (NSFW) [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wild_Date_Palm_%28Phoenix_sylvestri s%29_male_flowers_at_Narendrapur_W_IMG_4059.jpg]

As to the tree vaginas, it is customary in certain savage countries to slice them off and thrust them in your woman's face as a sort of crude courtship ritual. Pictures of this disgusting practice may be found on certain fringe sites that I do not want in my browser history.
 
2012-08-04 11:06:02 PM  

Gyrfalcon: The only sexually dimorphous tree is the ginkgo. This can't possibly be a real problem in Canadia.


That's not even close to true.
 
Displayed 31 of 31 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report