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(Short List)   Man waits 26 years but finally photographs the Loch Ness Monster. Is his image a) Picture perfect, high resolution proof of the beast's existence, sending shockwaves through zoological circles. b) Blurry shiat   (shortlist.com) divider line 99
    More: Dumbass, Loch Ness Monster  
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22147 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2012 at 1:33 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-03 10:26:52 AM
A man later appeared at Mr. Edwards door requesting to purchase the picture. When Mr. Edwards asked how much, the man replied "Ohh about tree-fiddy"
 
2012-08-03 10:45:03 AM
Man, what are the odds that a man who makes money giving tours at Loch Ness happens to snap a blurry photo of the exact thing that makes his business operate? And in a down economy when tourism is faltering, no less.
 
2012-08-03 11:11:20 AM
I think Nessie is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Nessie is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the lake.

~Hedberg (modified)
 
2012-08-03 11:27:57 AM
It's not a blurry picture. It looks like an overturned canoe.
 
2012-08-03 11:34:13 AM
Actually, it's a pretty clear photo as far as those things go.

Having said that: It's fake.

FTFA:
"I was just about to return to Temple Pier (in Drumnadrochit) and I went to the back of the boat which was facing the pier and that's when I saw it," said 60-year-old Mr Edwards, a lifelong believer in the monster.

"It was slowly moving up the loch towards Urquhart Castle and it was a dark grey colour. It was quite a fair way from the boat, probably about half a mile away but it's difficult to tell in water."


Based upon his description of the circumstances, and the geometry of the picture itself with Urquhart castle in the background, it had to be *WAY* closer than half a mile away. An object half a mile away from the camera would be somewhere around half the distance from the bottom of the photo and the castle. I'm guessing it's a smaller object really only about a hundred yards or less from the camera. I checked on Google Earth, and the only way you can get a picture similar to that is in or near Urquhart Bay, otherwise the hills behind Urquhart castle would show up. Urquhart Bay is only about a mile across at it's widest point.

Also, the very slight wake in the close-up appears to have the object moving towards the camera and away from Urquhart castle, the exact opposite of what he claims. And it's not much of a wake, even for a large slow-moving object.

I'd *LOVE* for there to be a real Loch Ness monster of some sort, but quite frankly, given all the flim-flammery surrounding it, nothing short of a carcass examined by zoologists and extensively tested is going to convince me.
 
2012-08-03 11:39:36 AM
That first pic isn't blurry. I think it clearly shows the creature's back, and the second pic is a zoomed in version of the first pic which is why it appears blurry, but it's the pixels.

I found a better pic that inlcude's Nessie's head, but I'm not sure it's legit.
Here it is
media.trb.com
 
2012-08-03 12:06:19 PM
Much like with the Bermuda Triangle modern technology has taken all the soul out of the good scams
 
2012-08-03 12:37:24 PM
Looks like a floaty poop.
 
2012-08-03 12:48:51 PM

Mark Ratner: I found a better pic that inlcude's Nessie's head, but I'm not sure it's legit.


I have an excellent investment deal for you.
 
2012-08-03 01:34:02 PM
Looks like a Farkette breaching the surface.
 
2012-08-03 01:34:24 PM
Looks like a big carp.
 
2012-08-03 01:34:36 PM
That looks like a capsized canoe that's sank a tad bit...

Possibly a street light.

FAKE!
 
2012-08-03 01:35:37 PM
I think its a streetlamp.
 
2012-08-03 01:35:51 PM
This proves evolution is a lie and Jesus rode a dinosaur.
 
2012-08-03 01:37:26 PM
It looks nothing at all like an over turned boat of some sort.
 
2012-08-03 01:37:44 PM

Mark Ratner: That first pic isn't blurry. I think it clearly shows the creature's back, and the second pic is a zoomed in version of the first pic which is why it appears blurry, but it's the pixels.

I found a better pic that inlcude's Nessie's head, but I'm not sure it's legit.
Here it is
[media.trb.com image 400x300]


I hear the London Bridge is for sale.
 
jvl
2012-08-03 01:38:34 PM
Oh look, a fish at the surface with its back in the air. I've never seen that before.
 
2012-08-03 01:38:35 PM
After seeing the photos over the years, I've determined that both the Loch Ness Monster, and Bigfoot are blurry creatures. They don't look like normal animals because they oscillate at a different frequency, causing them to blur when viewed by the human eye, or by cameras. So there.
 
2012-08-03 01:38:35 PM
After watching the object for five to ten minutes, Mr Edwards said it slowly sank below the surface and never resurfaced.

Five to ten minutes, and he has one far-away, blurry picture. Nice goin', dumbass.
 
2012-08-03 01:39:06 PM
Lifelong Nessie Hunter
Observed it for about a half hour.
Only took one pic.
 
2012-08-03 01:39:30 PM
"All these people can't be telling lies."

Hah.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

There are thousands of politicians! All these people can't be telling lies! GLOBAL WARMING!
 
2012-08-03 01:41:23 PM

scottydoesntknow: A man later appeared at Mr. Edwards door requesting to purchase the picture. When Mr. Edwards asked how much, the man replied "Ohh about tree-fiddy"


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
"Goddamn Lochness Monster! I ain't givin' you no tree-fiddy!"
 
2012-08-03 01:41:48 PM
torsyndicate.com

It's a leech!
 
2012-08-03 01:43:01 PM
i911.photobucket.com
/whee got to use this one again
 
2012-08-03 01:43:34 PM

bluefoxicy: "All these people can't be telling lies."

Hah.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

There are thousands of politicians! All these people can't be telling lies! GLOBAL WARMING!


Global warming is real....

But we all know the real threat isn't Global Warming.

It's ManBearPig...

blog.mlive.com
 
2012-08-03 01:43:47 PM
sciwiki.scifiontv.com
The image isn't very good. You're looking for someone that's blurry.
 
2012-08-03 01:44:28 PM
Well, I'm convinced. That IS a photograph.
 
2012-08-03 01:45:09 PM

scottydoesntknow: A man later appeared at Mr. Edwards door requesting to purchase the picture. When Mr. Edwards asked how much, the man replied "Ohh about tree-fiddy"


It was about that time that Mr. Edwards noticed that the man was about 500ft tall and from the paleolithic era.
 
2012-08-03 01:46:31 PM
www.nytmare.org
 
2012-08-03 01:46:45 PM

hitlersbrain: It looks nothing at all like an over turned boat of some sort.


I agree.
 
2012-08-03 01:47:12 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Proven to be authentic by cryptozoologists. So, there's that...
 
2012-08-03 01:47:12 PM
WAITS HIS WHOLE LIFE
CAMERA HAS FILM
LASTS 10 MINUTES GETS A PICTURE
because two would be redundant
unneccasary waste of film
 
2012-08-03 01:49:22 PM

Lionel Mandrake: I think Nessie is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Nessie is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the lake.

~Hedberg (modified)


Excellent reference.
 
2012-08-03 01:50:39 PM

Pinner: Lifelong Nessie Hunter
Observed it for about a half hour.
Only took one pic.


This this this oooooohhhh my gawd this.

These cryptozoologists and ancient aliens type make me facepalm, every time.
 
2012-08-03 01:51:25 PM
Totally not driftwood, a fish, an overturned boat placed intentionally, or a rock.

By the way, as someone who spends a decent amount of time on lake-water, that object is only around 4-5 feet long, which isn't "large" at all. I can tell by the length of the secondary (wind) waves under mild wind conditions suitable for being out in a boat taking pictures, and from having to dodge a lot of 5-foot floating things in my time.

//Seriously, though, the only place where waves of a length on the order of what he's claiming are stable is the damned ocean, Loch Ness is about 20 miles long and a mile wide so how about no.

//At least we're back to manual faking instead of photo manipulation, slightly less insulting to everyone's intelligence.
 
2012-08-03 01:52:09 PM
A lake in Scotland has the monsters on shore, in the lake, dummy.
 
2012-08-03 01:53:27 PM
As it's been pointed out... take a few more pics and maybe mix in a video?

Your entire existence revolves around proving something no one has ever seen evidence of.

www.spacetimestudios.com
 
2012-08-03 01:54:53 PM
Oh FFS! Is there some rule that says you can't take more than one picture?
 
2012-08-03 01:55:48 PM

whosits_112: scottydoesntknow: A man later appeared at Mr. Edwards door requesting to purchase the picture. When Mr. Edwards asked how much, the man replied "Ohh about tree-fiddy"

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 400x300]
"Goddamn Lochness Monster! I ain't givin' you no tree-fiddy!"


"I gave him a dollar."
 
2012-08-03 01:56:19 PM

LordOfThePings: [torsyndicate.com image 180x240]

It's a leech!


Sorry, I think "carp" would have been a better word choice.

/unless I'm missing the joke
 
2012-08-03 01:58:41 PM

WTP 2: WAITS HIS WHOLE LIFE
CAMERA HAS FILM
LASTS 10 MINUTES GETS A PICTURE
because two would be redundant
unneccasary waste of film


Scottish frugality trumps scientific redundacy.
 
2012-08-03 01:59:39 PM
s15.postimage.org
 
2012-08-03 01:59:48 PM
Thats it. I'm converting to Jesus. Now we know that evolution is a myth.
 
2012-08-03 02:01:49 PM

SN1987a goes boom: Mark Ratner: That first pic isn't blurry. I think it clearly shows the creature's back, and the second pic is a zoomed in version of the first pic which is why it appears blurry, but it's the pixels.

I found a better pic that inlcude's Nessie's head, but I'm not sure it's legit.
Here it is
[media.trb.com image 400x300]

I hear the London Bridge is for sale.


I wouldn't jump on that offer, if I were you. I've been reliably informed that it is, in fact, falling down.
 
2012-08-03 02:01:58 PM
But it's been confirmed as real by the U.S. Military & they never get it wrong.
 
2012-08-03 02:02:48 PM

SuburbanCowboy: Bigfo


Bigfeet are actually aliens, and they travel through portals in the woods. It must be true, since we have yet to actually catch/find one.

/come on, I know someone else has seen that episode of Ancient Aliens
 
2012-08-03 02:08:11 PM
"They had my photo analysed and they have no doubt that I photographed an animate object in the water. I was really excited as I am sure that some strange creatures are lurking in the depths of Loch Ness."

Your photo. Singular. As in one (1) image.

What a load of shiat. When I take pictures (even with my little snapshot camera), I take several shots. It's not like the days of film where I had 36 pictures then I had to stop and change film, then pay to have each shot developed. My little pocket camera with a 32 gig card can take nearly 10,000 12 megapixel images at the highest quality setting. With a 64 gig card, my DSLR can take over 1,700 18 megapixel images in RAW/JPG format at the highest quality setting.

If I'd been watching for some amazing thing for 26 years and finally saw it and had 5 to 10 minutes of viewing time, I would have hundreds of pictures. And 1080p video! Where's his goddamn video camera? I can go to friggin' Best Buy and get a 1080 camera with 40x optical zoom and image stabilization for $200.
 
2012-08-03 02:11:14 PM
With all the waterproof cameras readily available, and 10 minutes of time there would be excellent video and pics available if anyone who's ever heard of technology were there. He leads tours and no one else had a camera? I call BS of the highest magnitude.
 
2012-08-03 02:12:01 PM
Just one pic?
Also, that angle from which that pic was taken indicates a very high vantage point, like 60 or 80 feet above the water, at least.
 
2012-08-03 02:14:26 PM
farm6.static.flickr.com
 
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