If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   If you go on vacation to Spain, please leave the Deathstalker scorpions there upon your return   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 41
    More: Scary, deathstalker scorpions, London Zoo, Lincolnshire, luggage  
•       •       •

9765 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2012 at 2:55 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-08-02 08:03:48 PM  
'The RSPCA gave us the case back and told us to make sure it hadn't laid any eggs in it.'

Flamethrower. Only way to be sure.
 
2012-08-02 08:04:53 PM  
img444.imageshack.us

Or at least get Troxartas to deal with them.
 
2012-08-02 08:30:31 PM  

vossiewulf: 'The RSPCA gave us the case back and told us to make sure it hadn't laid any eggs in it.'

Flamethrower. Only way to be sure.


Donate the suitcase to Goodwill. Tax credit, you know.
 
2012-08-02 08:49:53 PM  
Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-08-02 08:55:32 PM  
Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]


fark that place. It's schmuck bait supreme. "Oh, I'm going to cut up that road to New Vegas"

/queue death music.
 
2012-08-02 09:20:55 PM  

BronyMedic: Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]

fark that place. It's schmuck bait supreme. "Oh, I'm going to cut up that road to New Vegas"

/queue death music.


Heh, I remember my first time through there. The old guy (can't remember his name, had a molerat for a pet) said "Don't go through Quarry Junction, full o' deathclaws". I laughed in his old face basing my lack of fear off Fallout 3's deathclaws. Got my ass absolutely handed to me. Was scared of them until I got the anti-materiel rifle and could actually inflict some damage.

*End threadjack*

That's a badass name for a scorpion and would scare the fark out of me if I saw it in my suitcase. Gotta agree with Vossiewulf, burn the whole farkin thing.
 
2012-08-02 11:40:03 PM  
No one expects the Spanish arachnid invasion
 
2012-08-02 11:55:29 PM  

scottydoesntknow: BronyMedic: Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]

fark that place. It's schmuck bait supreme. "Oh, I'm going to cut up that road to New Vegas"

/queue death music.

Heh, I remember my first time through there. The old guy (can't remember his name, had a molerat for a pet) said "Don't go through Quarry Junction, full o' deathclaws". I laughed in his old face basing my lack of fear off Fallout 3's deathclaws. Got my ass absolutely handed to me. Was scared of them until I got the anti-materiel rifle and could actually inflict some damage.

*End threadjack*

That's a badass name for a scorpion and would scare the fark out of me if I saw it in my suitcase. Gotta agree with Vossiewulf, burn the whole farkin thing.


i have never used or even seen a material rifle. i just use the hunting rifle with scope. as long as i dont get assaulted by a group, it's ok. frag mines help alot. go for the legs so they cant run. same with those flying farkers. shoot the wings and they are grounded.
 
2012-08-03 01:24:38 AM  
They're going to be in trouble with customs for not declaring that thing.

Either that or the scorpion's going to get a bill for stowing away on the plane.
 
2012-08-03 03:00:20 AM  
OK, whoever came up with the name "Deathstalker" for this scorpion deserves a Nobel Prize.
 
2012-08-03 03:02:28 AM  
I have lived in Spain for two years, and never knew these things were here. Scorpions I knew about, as they are all over in the wild brush near the coast. But farking death stalkers?

I think I'm about to be formally living in Spain.
 
2012-08-03 03:03:48 AM  

Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]


How else are they supposed to make their Wasteland omelets? Aunt Rose is getting up in years and not many people know the recipe.
 
2012-08-03 03:04:04 AM  
Mock26

OK, whoever came up with the name "Deathstalker" for this scorpion deserves a Nobel Prize.

Seconded.

/I would also like to request that "Awesome" be a Nobel Prize category.
 
2012-08-03 03:05:29 AM  

some_beer_drinker: scottydoesntknow: BronyMedic: Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]

fark that place. It's schmuck bait supreme. "Oh, I'm going to cut up that road to New Vegas"

/queue death music.

Heh, I remember my first time through there. The old guy (can't remember his name, had a molerat for a pet) said "Don't go through Quarry Junction, full o' deathclaws". I laughed in his old face basing my lack of fear off Fallout 3's deathclaws. Got my ass absolutely handed to me. Was scared of them until I got the anti-materiel rifle and could actually inflict some damage.

*End threadjack*

That's a badass name for a scorpion and would scare the fark out of me if I saw it in my suitcase. Gotta agree with Vossiewulf, burn the whole farkin thing.

i have never used or even seen a material rifle. i just use the hunting rifle with scope. as long as i dont get assaulted by a group, it's ok. frag mines help alot. go for the legs so they cant run. same with those flying farkers. shoot the wings and they are grounded.


Or you could have used AP rounds, which are cheap and plentiful at Gun Runners. Now, the AMR with AP rounds just about two-shot the bastards with your stat maxed. Before that, it's a hell of a challenge.

What's infinitely more enjoyable is going there on a melee/unarmed run and laying waste. Talk about getting your blood pumping,
 
2012-08-03 03:06:24 AM  

some_beer_drinker: scottydoesntknow: BronyMedic: Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]

fark that place. It's schmuck bait supreme. "Oh, I'm going to cut up that road to New Vegas"

/queue death music.

Heh, I remember my first time through there. The old guy (can't remember his name, had a molerat for a pet) said "Don't go through Quarry Junction, full o' deathclaws". I laughed in his old face basing my lack of fear off Fallout 3's deathclaws. Got my ass absolutely handed to me. Was scared of them until I got the anti-materiel rifle and could actually inflict some damage.

*End threadjack*

That's a badass name for a scorpion and would scare the fark out of me if I saw it in my suitcase. Gotta agree with Vossiewulf, burn the whole farkin thing.

i have never used or even seen a material rifle. i just use the hunting rifle with scope. as long as i dont get assaulted by a group, it's ok. frag mines help alot. go for the legs so they cant run. same with those flying farkers. shoot the wings and they are grounded.


Laser rifle with a scope. Sure it mostly plinks against a deathclaw, but you can fire really fast from a very long ways away and the crits WILL hurt it. Find yourself a good position far enough away and it will never find you.
 
2012-08-03 03:13:22 AM  
Wait, you're in Spain?!

www.mortalkombatgames.net

GET OVER HERE!
 
2012-08-03 03:15:32 AM  

ciberido: some_beer_drinker: scottydoesntknow: BronyMedic: Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]

fark that place. It's schmuck bait supreme. "Oh, I'm going to cut up that road to New Vegas"

/queue death music.

Heh, I remember my first time through there. The old guy (can't remember his name, had a molerat for a pet) said "Don't go through Quarry Junction, full o' deathclaws". I laughed in his old face basing my lack of fear off Fallout 3's deathclaws. Got my ass absolutely handed to me. Was scared of them until I got the anti-materiel rifle and could actually inflict some damage.

*End threadjack*

That's a badass name for a scorpion and would scare the fark out of me if I saw it in my suitcase. Gotta agree with Vossiewulf, burn the whole farkin thing.

i have never used or even seen a material rifle. i just use the hunting rifle with scope. as long as i dont get assaulted by a group, it's ok. frag mines help alot. go for the legs so they cant run. same with those flying farkers. shoot the wings and they are grounded.

Laser rifle with a scope. Sure it mostly plinks against a deathclaw, but you can fire really fast from a very long ways away and the crits WILL hurt it. Find yourself a good position far enough away and it will never find you.


actually thats true, i carry one of those too. fully modded up laser rifle. still like the hunting rifle though. those road warrior dudes just explode when i shoot them. i went into the bunker where you deliver the drugs to that dude the other day. i went in naked and killed every one of them. of course i had boone and the robot, but still, it was funny. used a flamer, grenades, various pistols i picked up...what a bloody mess.
 
2012-08-03 03:20:47 AM  

studebaker hoch: Mock26

OK, whoever came up with the name "Deathstalker" for this scorpion deserves a Nobel Prize.

Seconded.

/I would also like to request that "Awesome" be a Nobel Prize category.


Want to know what is sad? The deadliest scorpion is called the "Indian Red Scorpion." That is kind of a lame name for the deadliest scorpion. In addition to the Awesome Nobel Prize category we need to come up with a point system for deadly animals. For example, we give the following points:

Deathstalker:
Name: 100 points
Venom: 95 points
Total: 195.

Indian Red Scorpion:
Name: 25 points
Venom: 100 points
Total: 125.

Deathstalker is now the deadliest scorpion in the world!
 
2012-08-03 03:28:18 AM  

studebaker hoch: /I would also like to request that "Awesome" be a Nobel Prize category.


Being awesome is its own reward.
 
2012-08-03 03:32:20 AM  
They forgot an important part.

In the United States and other countries outside of the typical range of the deathstalker, there is the additional complicating factor that none of the existing antivenoms are approved by the Food and Drug Administration (or equivalent agencies) and are only available as investigational drugs
 
2012-08-03 03:37:57 AM  
A sting can cause anaphylaxis, a potentially life-threatening reaction, and the venom is very resistant to drugs.

Sound like it would rock you like a hurricane
 
2012-08-03 03:56:03 AM  

some_beer_drinker: scottydoesntknow: BronyMedic: Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]

fark that place. It's schmuck bait supreme. "Oh, I'm going to cut up that road to New Vegas"

/queue death music.

Heh, I remember my first time through there. The old guy (can't remember his name, had a molerat for a pet) said "Don't go through Quarry Junction, full o' deathclaws". I laughed in his old face basing my lack of fear off Fallout 3's deathclaws. Got my ass absolutely handed to me. Was scared of them until I got the anti-materiel rifle and could actually inflict some damage.

*End threadjack*

That's a badass name for a scorpion and would scare the fark out of me if I saw it in my suitcase. Gotta agree with Vossiewulf, burn the whole farkin thing.

i have never used or even seen a material rifle. i just use the hunting rifle with scope. as long as i dont get assaulted by a group, it's ok. frag mines help alot. go for the legs so they cant run. same with those flying farkers. shoot the wings and they are grounded.


Damage Tolerance on those things was pretty high IIRC, making light weapons basically useless. And they didn't seem to respond well to backing-up-while-shooting, shooting from a "safe" spot, or pre-laying mines. I tried all that. And they do tend to come in hordes with the Mother and Alpha Deathclaw coming out together.

The obvious camping point was at the top of the rock crusher, but it's a red herring; the Deathclaws can climb it. However, there's a simple farking boulder there that they CAN'T climb, and can't swipe at you from. So you can just sit there and use your cheap Hunting Rifle ammo until the thing dies of boredom.
 
2012-08-03 05:13:18 AM  
I miss Spain.

Anyone ever been to Titanic in Madrid?
 
2012-08-03 06:16:46 AM  

Shadowknight: I have lived in Spain for two years, and never knew these things were here. Scorpions I knew about, as they are all over in the wild brush near the coast. But farking death stalkers?

I think I'm about to be formally living in Spain.


Sounds fancy.
 
2012-08-03 06:40:48 AM  
"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-218255/Family-return-holiday -Egypt-inch-Deathstalker-scorpion-luggage.html"

Wait, what?
Spain isn't in Egypt.

/Geography is hard
 
2012-08-03 07:13:13 AM  

DiffMavis: "http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-218255/Family-return-holiday -Egypt-inch-Deathstalker-scorpion-luggage.html"

Wait, what?
Spain isn't in Egypt.

/Geography is hard


When I was in Turkey we used to catch scorpions and put them in ammo cans with toads.

Fight!

We never saw any in Spain.
 
2012-08-03 07:15:47 AM  
Shadowknight: I have lived in Spain for two years, and never knew these things were here. Scorpions I knew about, as they are all over in the wild brush near the coast. But farking death stalkers?

Sounds like Daily Fail exaggeration again - it looks just like the normal Spanish scorpion to me, and I was told in my 15 years of living in Spain that the big yellow scorpions are not lethal per se, only if you're very small.
Apparently it's the little black scorpions they have in some other Mediterranean countries that are 100% lethal.

I've been told the sting does hurt like a motherfarker for a long feverish time. (fark sandals - I wear desert style army boots walking on Spain).
 
2012-08-03 07:19:46 AM  
Not saying I would go over and pet the thing but that family sound like the biggest bunch of pussies on the planet.
It's a 4 inch scorpion. It can't fly, doesn't move all that fast and can't shoot poison at you. And her son waiting to defend himself with an empty wine bottle? LOL!

On top of all that they had to call animal control to capture the beast?
C'mon people!

handsonlearninginternational.org
 
2012-08-03 07:25:39 AM  

abhorrent1: Not saying I would go over and pet the thing but that family sound like the biggest bunch of pussies on the planet.
It's a 4 inch scorpion. It can't fly, doesn't move all that fast and can't shoot poison at you. And her son waiting to defend himself with an empty wine bottle? LOL!

On top of all that they had to call animal control to capture the beast?
C'mon people!

[handsonlearninginternational.org image 504x504]


Oh...I dunno. I've had some pretty epic battles with much smaller spiders that have, at times, had me screaming like a little girl.
 
2012-08-03 07:30:53 AM  
www.badmovies.org

Approves

inmenlo.com

Also approves.
 
2012-08-03 08:43:33 AM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: [img444.imageshack.us image 215x156]

Or at least get Troxartas to deal with them.


Came for the Warriors from Hell... leaving happy.
 
2012-08-03 08:52:05 AM  

some_beer_drinker: scottydoesntknow: BronyMedic: Ed Finnerty: Let's hope they never travel to Quarry Junction.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 185x165]

fark that place. It's schmuck bait supreme. "Oh, I'm going to cut up that road to New Vegas"

/queue death music.

Heh, I remember my first time through there. The old guy (can't remember his name, had a molerat for a pet) said "Don't go through Quarry Junction, full o' deathclaws". I laughed in his old face basing my lack of fear off Fallout 3's deathclaws. Got my ass absolutely handed to me. Was scared of them until I got the anti-materiel rifle and could actually inflict some damage.

*End threadjack*

That's a badass name for a scorpion and would scare the fark out of me if I saw it in my suitcase. Gotta agree with Vossiewulf, burn the whole farkin thing.

i have never used or even seen a material rifle. i just use the hunting rifle with scope. as long as i dont get assaulted by a group, it's ok. frag mines help alot. go for the legs so they cant run. same with those flying farkers. shoot the wings and they are grounded.


I dispatched several Deathclaws with a single Holy Hand Grenade.

I do not understand how one was able to fit in a family's luggage, however. Even the infant specimens are quite large.
 
2012-08-03 09:31:36 AM  

Shadowknight: I have lived in Spain for two years, and never knew these things were here. Scorpions I knew about, as they are all over in the wild brush near the coast. But farking death stalkers?

I think I'm about to be formally living in Spain.


Why? You gonna put on a tuxedo?

Or did you mean "formerly"?
 
2012-08-03 09:53:34 AM  

This text is now purple: Shadowknight: I have lived in Spain for two years, and never knew these things were here. Scorpions I knew about, as they are all over in the wild brush near the coast. But farking death stalkers?

I think I'm about to be formally living in Spain.

Why? You gonna put on a tuxedo?

Or did you mean "formerly"?


Yeah, sorry, it was three in the morning and I didn't see what the tablet auto correct "helpfully" changed the word to.
 
2012-08-03 09:55:05 AM  
Just squish the damn thing. You are a lot bigger than it is.

Then throw the suitcase in a car trunk and park it in the sun all day. Instant cooked eggs.
 
2012-08-03 10:04:37 AM  
Been in Spain 4 years, and never heard of these...hmmm...Brit tall tale?
 
2012-08-03 10:14:56 AM  
Did it rock them like a Hurricane?

/the Deathstalker looks exactly like a Bark Scorpion
//I hate scorpions
 
2012-08-03 11:02:44 AM  

Oznog: Damage Tolerance on those things was pretty high IIRC, making light weapons basically useless. And they didn't seem to respond well to backing-up-while-shooting, shooting from a "safe" spot, or pre-laying mines. I tried all that.


Well, no offense, but you didn't try it well enough. Most likely you didn't try from far enough away. Any spot far enough away is safe.

And yes, light weapons are basically useless ... until you get a crit. Which is why you use a laser rifle. It fires very, very quickly. Even if you only crit once in a hundred shots, and the other 99 plink, the 100th will do damge. You just use 100 shots worth of ammo to get in one solid shot.
 
2012-08-03 12:00:33 PM  
I used to get scorpions in the house about once every 3-5 months at my last place. Even had a tarantula get inside once. I'd just get out the Dyson, attach the extension rod to the hose and suck the little bastards up. After a while, it just became a non-event.
 
2012-08-03 12:11:42 PM  
 
2012-08-03 06:14:21 PM  

abhorrent1: Not saying I would go over and pet the thing but that family sound like the biggest bunch of pussies on the planet.
It's a 4 inch scorpion. It can't fly, doesn't move all that fast and can't shoot poison at you. And her son waiting to defend himself with an empty wine bottle? LOL!

On top of all that they had to call animal control to capture the beast?
C'mon people!


And they threw the bag out in the garden so it could have easily escaped. Idiots.
 
Displayed 41 of 41 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report