FARK.com: (7247084) 'Ward, I think there's something wrong with the Beaver'

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		'Ward, I think there's something wrong with the Beaver' (abclocal.go.com)		73
		More: Scary

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23886 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Aug 2012 at 4:54 PM | Favorite | share:

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Lucky LaRue		2012-08-02 01:29:29 PM

"Beaver bite" is one of those injuries you hope never happens to you.

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-08-02 01:35:12 PM

Gee, Wally... you think Dad will be mad?

xynix		2012-08-02 01:45:04 PM

Sounds like this Ukrainian whore I once picked up in Krakow, Poland.. What a night.

shanrick		2012-08-02 01:45:44 PM

Gee, Mrs. Cleaver, you sure look pretty today.

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats		2012-08-02 01:49:14 PM

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2746610/mike_as_hugh_beaumont/

vpb		2012-08-02 02:00:55 PM

I never realized that "Beaver Bite" could involve actual teeth.

Because People in power are Stupid		2012-08-02 02:10:02 PM

Diogenes		2012-08-02 02:16:36 PM

vpb: I never realized that "Beaver Bite" could involve actual teeth.

Never saw Teeth, huh?

PhiloeBedoe		2012-08-02 02:18:16 PM

Now guys, don't be too hard on the beavers. Give animal control a crack at snatching these brown snappers before we go off.

mr_bunny		2012-08-02 02:20:31 PM

Remember when Chip joined that gang and stabbed a guy and Uncle Charlie had to help get him out of trouble?

I loved My Three Beavers.

UberDave		2012-08-02 02:21:07 PM

Fortunately the people involved were able to beat off their attacker.

vernonFL		2012-08-02 02:25:40 PM

I have family that lives right on Falls Lake, Falls of the Neuse right by the dam.

Walker		2012-08-02 03:04:31 PM

Normally, any animal suspected of having rabies would be taken to a lab for testing, but officials said the beaver sank to the bottom of the lake after being shot and it was not recovered.

Wait, when was it shot? Did the people it attacked shoot it? Did the police shoot it? Was it tracked and shot days later? Journalism isn't what it used to be.

scottydoesntknow		2012-08-02 03:18:06 PM

At least it didn't bite their nipples off!

www.laughstub.com

Englebert Slaptyback		2012-08-02 04:55:46 PM

officials said the beaver sank to the bottom of the lake after being shot and it was not recovered

Wynona reportedly inconsolable.

fuhfuhfuh		2012-08-02 04:58:36 PM

Shouldn't have tickled his chin and gave him a pinch.

6655321		2012-08-02 04:59:39 PM

shanrick: [i.imgur.com image 251x201]
Gee, Mrs. Cleaver, you sure look pretty today.

And starring Paris Hilton as The Beaver.

Mega Steve		2012-08-02 05:00:36 PM

On the case

Bawdy George		2012-08-02 05:08:02 PM

Ward, you were pretty hard on the Beaver last night...

blatz514		2012-08-02 05:08:04 PM

I instantly thought of "the dumb beaver" from Family Guy.

wraithmare		2012-08-02 05:13:00 PM

"Wally, you know your father. He's out chasing beaver."

/Father Loves Beaver!
//Yule love it!

Kurmudgeon		2012-08-02 05:13:03 PM

There's some nasty beavers out there, that's for sure.

Sofa King Smart		2012-08-02 05:14:33 PM

rabid beaver? was it foaming at the mouth?

/or just getting ready to shave?

DysphoricMania		2012-08-02 05:15:02 PM

Came for the Primus, leaving satisfied.

Mr. Shabooboo		2012-08-02 05:15:26 PM

If people would stop trying to shave them all the time they wouldn't get so irritated

DjangoStonereaver		2012-08-02 05:15:58 PM

Bawdy George: Ward, you were pretty hard on the Beaver last night...

Filthiest thing ever said on American network TV, right alongside this exchange from DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER:

"Hi, I'm Plenty!"
"Of course you are."
"Plenty O'Toole!"
"Named for your father, perhaps?"

StoPPeRmobile		2012-08-02 05:16:37 PM

Cool! A blank page.

"They didn't kick us out. We were the first litter and Mom had a second litter. It's the beaver way."

SonOfSpam		2012-08-02 05:18:42 PM

Sofa King Smart: rabid beaver? was it foaming at the mouth?

/or just getting ready to shave?

Hydrophobie!

/c'mere, Yeller

red5ish		2012-08-02 05:20:25 PM

abfalter		2012-08-02 05:26:36 PM

Ward was often a little too hard on the beaver....

illannoyin		2012-08-02 05:29:20 PM

Well, sometimes the beaver can be hard on you...

Link

/I'm sorry

Mikeyworld		2012-08-02 05:41:36 PM

DjangoStonereaver: Bawdy George: Ward, you were pretty hard on the Beaver last night...

Filthiest thing ever said on American network TV, right alongside this exchange from DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER:

"Hi, I'm Plenty!"
"Of course you are."
"Plenty O'Toole!"
"Named for your father, perhaps?"

Oh No! Tim Conway and Harvey Korman did one better:

Tim (as WWII pilot): "there were Folkers all around us, right and left"
Harvey (as interviewer): "Folkers were a fine fighting plane, weren't they?"
Tim: "yeah, but those Folkers were Messerscmitts"

Pan to backstage as the TV censor falls off his chair

/Can't find the clip
//Garry Moore Show?
///Early Carol Burnett?

Mr. Potatoass		2012-08-02 05:42:38 PM

illannoyin: Well, sometimes the beaver can be hard on you...

Link

/I'm sorry

I LOLed

OscarTamerz		2012-08-02 05:44:52 PM

I understand stuffing them or even shaving them will make beavers attack!

www.fm96.com

Obligatory

fusillade762		2012-08-02 05:50:45 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: [cdn2.hark.com image 510x510]

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 720x480]

Nice beaver.

strapp3r		2012-08-02 05:52:09 PM

Normally, any animal suspected of having rabies would be taken to a lab for testing, but officials said the beaver sank to the bottom of the lake after being shot and it was not recovered.

/w00t!

Person		2012-08-02 05:54:48 PM

Save a tree, eat a beaver.

BHK		2012-08-02 05:55:19 PM

Was this beaver attached to Mel Gibson, because that I could see.

DjangoStonereaver		2012-08-02 05:56:36 PM

Mikeyworld: DjangoStonereaver: Bawdy George: Ward, you were pretty hard on the Beaver last night...

Filthiest thing ever said on American network TV, right alongside this exchange from DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER:

"Hi, I'm Plenty!"
"Of course you are."
"Plenty O'Toole!"
"Named for your father, perhaps?"

Oh No! Tim Conway and Harvey Korman did one better:

Tim (as WWII pilot): "there were Folkers all around us, right and left"
Harvey (as interviewer): "Folkers were a fine fighting plane, weren't they?"
Tim: "yeah, but those Folkers were Messerscmitts"

Pan to backstage as the TV censor falls off his chair

/Can't find the clip
//Garry Moore Show?
///Early Carol Burnett?

I've heard that story, but that it was on the BBC, so it may well be apochryphal.

aaeko		2012-08-02 05:57:16 PM

I was certain this was going to be a news article about a Vagina.

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom		2012-08-02 05:59:48 PM

aaeko: I was certain this was going to be a news article about a Vagina.

Yeah, I thought it was about an STD

Noah_Tall		2012-08-02 06:00:00 PM

But was it a disco beaver? And more importantly was it from outer space?

/obscure?

anotar		2012-08-02 06:02:31 PM

DjangoStonereaver		2012-08-02 06:09:42 PM

anotar: [www.wildlifecenter.org image 768x1024]

www.wordans.com

Jclark666		2012-08-02 06:11:15 PM

One of the victims stated, "I yelled for help and Bernice ran for the boat. She never made it, poor girl, they ripped out her throat."

/beavers are the new shark, this is at least the third beaver attack story I've seen in the past month.

tarhammer		2012-08-02 06:13:14 PM

When June asked Ward to go easy on the beaver, she really didn't mean it.

Deep Contact		2012-08-02 06:13:58 PM

Get ready for Beaver fever.

weiserfireman		2012-08-02 06:25:13 PM

Mikeyworld: DjangoStonereaver: Bawdy George: Ward, you were pretty hard on the Beaver last night...

Filthiest thing ever said on American network TV, right alongside this exchange from DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER:

"Hi, I'm Plenty!"
"Of course you are."
"Plenty O'Toole!"
"Named for your father, perhaps?"

Oh No! Tim Conway and Harvey Korman did one better:

Tim (as WWII pilot): "there were Folkers all around us, right and left"
Harvey (as interviewer): "Folkers were a fine fighting plane, weren't they?"
Tim: "yeah, but those Folkers were Messerscmitts"

Pan to backstage as the TV censor falls off his chair

/Can't find the clip
//Garry Moore Show?
///Early Carol Burnett?

Except the Airplane is a Fokker, doesn't change the joke, but makes more sense to those of us who care about stuff like that