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(WPTV)   Pringles: Once you pop, you knock out your father's tooth, and wake up in prison   (wptv.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, Vero Beach, baked potatoes, prisons  
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4654 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Aug 2012 at 10:06 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-08-02 10:07:25 AM  
This is why I don't buy Pringles.
 
2012-08-02 10:08:59 AM  
conking.

/funny
 
2012-08-02 10:10:13 AM  
i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-08-02 10:12:52 AM  
I'm confused. Is that a news article or an ad?
 
2012-08-02 10:12:55 AM  
FTA: "Pringles, which rhymes with jingles, are a thin, curved and rigid snack product stacked in a can."

Now this man did his research. Solid reporting.
 
2012-08-02 10:13:07 AM  
I love the product promotion in the article.
 
2012-08-02 10:14:09 AM  
Greenlee doesn't change his schtick much, does he?
 
2012-08-02 10:14:16 AM  
Certainly a lot more information about Pringles (which rhymes with "jingles", in case you were unaware of that) than one normally sees in an advertisement for that product.
 
2012-08-02 10:14:17 AM  
FTA: "Pringles, which rhymes with jingles...[description follows]."

What else would it rhyme with? And who the heck doesn't know what Pringles are? Aren't they sold in Florida?
 
2012-08-02 10:15:09 AM  
Pringles, which rhymes with jingles, are a thin, curved and rigid snack product stacked in a can. Pringles are potato crisps made beginning "with dried potatoes which have been cooked, mashed and dehydrated," the Pringles web site states. Potato crisps are not to be confused with potato chips, which lack the uniform dimensions of the average Pringle and which must start with whole potatoes.

The Pringles logo features a man with a red bow tie and an enormous mustache.


How specific.
 
2012-08-02 10:15:56 AM  
I'm betting it was that vinegar flavor because this girl sounds like a real douche.
 
2012-08-02 10:16:19 AM  
Once you pop (your pop in his flapping yap) you can't stop!
 
2012-08-02 10:17:02 AM  
To be fair, Pringles are wonderful.

/Also, I'd eat Pringles off of Amanda's bod. Just sayin'.
 
2012-08-02 10:17:38 AM  
Once you pop, there'll be cops.
 
2012-08-02 10:19:10 AM  

mama2tnt: FTA: "Pringles, which rhymes with jingles...[description follows]."

What else would it rhyme with? And who the heck doesn't know what Pringles are? Aren't they sold in Florida?


In Florida, was eating Pringles when I read the headline. Vastly amused.
 
2012-08-02 10:20:30 AM  
British reporter? He called the potato chips, potato crisps.
(on top of the pringles rhymes with jingles thing)
 
2012-08-02 10:22:22 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
RIP Mr Jingles.
 
2012-08-02 10:24:04 AM  

mama2tnt: FTA: "Pringles, which rhymes with jingles...[description follows]."

What else would it rhyme with? And who the heck doesn't know what Pringles are? Aren't they sold in Florida?


Mr. Bojangles?
 
2012-08-02 10:25:36 AM  

Floobergasted: I'm confused. Is that a news article or an ad?


was wondering too, Pringles must had sent some $$$ to the reporter to make promotion on their stuff
 
2012-08-02 10:27:19 AM  

MythDragon: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x422]
RIP Mr Jingles.


Still alive....in the shed.
 
2012-08-02 10:28:02 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-02 10:28:09 AM  
"Pringles, which rhymes with jingles, are a thin, curved and rigid snack product stacked in a can. Pringles are potato crisps made beginning "with dried potatoes which have been cooked, mashed and dehydrated," the Pringles web site states. Potato crisps are not to be confused with potato chips, which lack the uniform dimensions of the average Pringle and which must start with whole potatoes."

Anyone else feeling insulted by these condescending editor's notes?
 
2012-08-02 10:28:58 AM  
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-08-02 10:34:16 AM  

GoldDude: Certainly a lot more information about Pringles (which rhymes with "jingles", in case you were unaware of that) than one normally sees in an advertisement for that product.


He forgot to mention that a Pringles can makes an inexpensive, effective directional WiFi antenna.
 
2012-08-02 10:39:14 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: GoldDude: Certainly a lot more information about Pringles (which rhymes with "jingles", in case you were unaware of that) than one normally sees in an advertisement for that product.

He forgot to mention that a Pringles can makes an inexpensive, effective directional WiFi antenna.


Or that a Pringles can can store a fart that you can share with your friends later on. Yes - I do have a teenage son at home.
 
2012-08-02 10:50:44 AM  
"The affidavit didn't specify whether the can actually contained Pringles, which are available in flavors including sour cream and onion, pizza, jalapeño and loaded baked potato."

Obviously it was empty: if the dad was conked with a full can of loaded baked potato...well...who knows what furious anger might have revealed itself. He could be missing than just a tooth if you know what I mean!

/I think you know what I mean
 
2012-08-02 10:58:01 AM  

Mirrorz: British reporter? He called the potato chips, potato crisps.
(on top of the pringles rhymes with jingles thing)


IIRC, Pringles were required to start calling them "crisps" because they did not fit the criteria to legally be called a potato chip (which primarily must be a slice of whole potato).
 
2012-08-02 10:58:13 AM  
The "News" part of the article:

A woman accused of conking her father with a Pringles can and knocking out a tooth was arrested on a battery charge, according to a recently released affidavit.

The purported potato crisp pummeling played out July 19 in Vero Beach as the father of Amanda Lynn Lozier, 26, told Indian River County Sheriff's investigators he and his daughter were arguing about her smoking cigarettes.

Lozier's father said Lozier came from the kitchen and struck him in the mouth with a Pringles can, which knocked out a tooth from his lower jaw. Lozier's father also said Lozier scratched his neck.

Meanwhile, Lozier said she was in her room and her father wouldn't leave her alone.

Described as "noticeably intoxicated," Lozier experienced difficulty in having a conversation.

Lozier, of the 400 block of 14th Place Southwest in Vero Beach, was arrested on a misdemeanor battery / domestic violence charge.


The "Ad" part of the article:

Pringles, which rhymes with jingles, are a thin, curved and rigid snack product stacked in a can. Pringles are potato crisps made beginning "with dried potatoes which have been cooked, mashed and dehydrated," the Pringles web site states. Potato crisps are not to be confused with potato chips, which lack the uniform dimensions of the average Pringle and which must start with whole potatoes.

The Pringles logo features a man with a red bow tie and an enormous mustache.

The affidavit didn't specify whether the can actually contained Pringles, which are available in flavors including sour cream and onion, pizza, jalapeño and loaded baked potato.


Just barely more news than ad. I guess someone had a word count to meet.
 
2012-08-02 10:58:18 AM  
www.buzzhunt.co.uk
 
2012-08-02 11:12:50 AM  

Psychopusher: Greenlee doesn't change his schtick much, does he?


Has he done this before? Because that was a pretty surreal article to read. I'd like to read more and find out about more interesting and exciting products! Off to check with Professor Google.
 
2012-08-02 11:15:02 AM  
How the Hell do you do that much damage with a Pringles can? Did she have her fist balled up inside it?
 
2012-08-02 11:17:50 AM  

The Muthaship: MythDragon: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x422]
RIP Mr Jingles.

Still alive....in the shed.


That was 13 years ago...
 
2012-08-02 11:18:42 AM  

Mega Steve: How the Hell do you do that much damage with a Pringles can? Did she have her fist balled up inside it?


Pringles has a new "Portland Cement" flavour.
 
2012-08-02 11:19:42 AM  
Wow. Will Greenlee is my new favorite journalist ever. I just read an article of his where he started 4 or 5 sentences in a row with "He said". There were about 4 other variations as well - Spratt said, the commissioner said, etc. This man is either an evil genius or he should be working at Goodwill.
 
2012-08-02 11:23:51 AM  
Oh, Greenlee.
 
2012-08-02 11:28:27 AM  
Pringles are good. That is all.
 
2012-08-02 11:29:07 AM  

untaken_name: Psychopusher: Greenlee doesn't change his schtick much, does he?

Has he done this before? Because that was a pretty surreal article to read. I'd like to read more and find out about more interesting and exciting products! Off to check with Professor Google.


Yup. He seems to like injecting incredibly detailed descriptions of the most inconsequential parts of a story just to be willfully obtuse.

See also: McDonalds' Fries
 
2012-08-02 12:07:47 PM  
The reporter forgot to work in "Newfangled."

Newfangled.
 
2012-08-02 12:38:31 PM  

Mega Steve: How the Hell do you do that much damage with a Pringles can? Did she have her fist balled up inside it?


God works in mysterious ways.
 
2012-08-02 02:12:51 PM  
Pringles, which rhymes with jingles, are a thin, curved and rigid snack product stacked in a can...

Is this that same Dave-Barry-Wannabe idiot who thinks it's funny to carefully define common terms like "french fry"?
 
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