This guy's been claiming to be a SEAL for a long time, too, but I believe him because he's got combat scars.

/Hot.

CSB mode ON

About a million years ago I worked at a clothing retailer in Virginia Beach. One day, a chubby dude walks in wearing a Team Six t-shirt. I was USNA '05, have trained with SEALs, and knew the chances of this dude being NSW were about zero. My associate ends up helping the guy, who proceeds to spend the next 20 or so minutes discussing his SEAL history, how he's getting sent to Coronado to be a trainer for BUD/S, etc. etc. Meanwhile, I end up helping another gentlemen. In talking with my customer, I come to learn he's a retired SEAL officer. Both my customer and the "Team Six" guy end up at the check-out counter at the same time. My guy sees the other guy's t-shirt and strikes up a conversation. Fatty claims to be a SEAL. Within about 45 seconds, he's falling all over his lies, unable to verify anything whatsoever. Also of note is that both gentlemen had children with them, fake-SEAL had a young (maybe 5 or 6) son, real-SEAL a young (10-11? I'm horrible at guessing ages) daughter. I'll never forget the next few lines from the real SEAL:

"So you're not really a SEAL, but you just told me you were. That's a really great way to get choked out in front of your kid."

I couldn't help but laugh. This idiot had the audacity to:

1. Pretend to be a SEAL in an area that houses one of the largest SEAL populations in the world (Little Creek, VA).
2. Pretend to be a SEAL whilst also being ludicrously overweight (hint: you'll never ever ever see a fat frogman...fewer segments of the military have as much emphasis on physical fitness).
3. Attempted to perpetuate his lie whilst knowing next to nothing about NSW. Hell, the rest of the staff at the store could see through is BS without the benefit of knowing anything about the Navy.

Not even two weeks later, I see the same jagoff at our local mall, wearing the same g*ddamn t-shirt. We were in the pet store (I liked the cute puppies, but I've always gotten our dogs from SPCA), and, as I was leaving, he was approached by two dudes who were SEALS, asking about his shirt. I hope the situation ended in the parking lot with some attitude adjustment.

The SEALS I met during my time in were interesting fellows. My favorite was a CPO from Long Island. I once made the mistake of asking him what he did for recreation. His response, literally verbatim (and this was back in 2002):

"I have two children, a boy of 7 and a girl who is 9. On my days off, I like to go to the Annapolis mall, and have them play together in an area where I can observe them without being seen. The hope is that a person or persons will attempt an abduction. At that point, I will remove myself from concealment and open the bad guys' femoral arteries with my Spyderco knife."

'Til this day, I have no idea if that dude was farking with me, or if that was really how he spent his free-time.

/CSB mode OFF

I was at Listening Post called Leghorn along the Laos Border in '69. SOG... special group indeed.
Monitored traffic down the Ho Chi Mihn thingy...
Relayed messages to BLACK OPS guys up in Quang Dong.

I'm going to write a book about it and donate the proceeds to victims of Feline Leukemia (#1 killer of cats)

It was a special time for a young man....because I was only 8.
The terrain was terrible for riding my BigWheel.
I once foiled a sapper attack with half a slinky and my stretch Armstrong.

/buy the book

PSA

What a seal vet might look like.

What a secret seal may look like

I watched a documentary about Navy Pilots during the early stages of the Vietnam War, titled "Rescue Dawn." The Got-damned Batman was shot down over Laos. Didn't know that, but guessed correctly that he would survive.

I once had to lead a flotilla of Elite Marine Core Rangers deep into the jungles of Poontang. We only made it out alive by hiding inside large crocodiles and floating past the Red Kong Black Shirts.

I think fellow Fark'er FLYNAVY lead the rescue copters....

Krikkitbot: Biological Ali: DjangoStonereaver: But while I am a staunch 1st Amendment absolutist, I do strongly feel that given the esteem with
which military service is held in this country, simply claiming to be, say, an ex-SEAL to simply give
whatever you are saying extra credibility is a form of fraud rather than simple lying (as the Supreme
Court held), and that the claim itself isn't lying but an actual fraud that should be criminalized.

What about claiming to be, say, an ex-doctor? Or just making a false claim of some specific accomplishment (e.g. having saved some lives somewhere) without making mentioning any particular occupation? There are many, many lies that a person could tell if all he wants is esteem and credibility.

CSB When my wife was going through grad school we attended several functions. I got tired of people asking me what I was going to school for or what my degree was in so I started telling them I was on sabbatical from Harvard Med School. It worked :D /CSB

Reminds me of the games my father likes to play with my mothers Icelandic family. He's never hidden that when he worked in Iceland, he was a civilian contractor working for Honeywell, but some members of the family have always believed that he was really CIA. It came to a head when he got a certificate in the mail honoring his service during the cold war (he was briefly in the Air Force in the 60's). It was a silly certificate that I guess everyone who served between certain dates got, but he had an extra frame and hung it in his home office.

My uncle saw it, and misread the signature as William Casey, and decided it was proof that my after was ex-CIA.

The next time he was asked at a family function, "Where you in the CIA when you were in Iceland?" He just replied "Oh, no. Not then."

Every SEAL I've met in my time in the Marines has never bragged about being a SEAL. The ones who have to announce it to everyone and put the stickers and shiat all over their cars are, I believe 9 times out of 10, completely full of shiat.

/Nobody would ever accuse me about lying about being a Marine
//Because liars never brag that they were MP's with a small non-deployable garrison unit

Representative of the unwashed masses: Did you ever operate over Macho Grande?

Over Macho Grande? I'll never get over Macho Grande.

Bullshiat, subby, I was with the secret Green Berets, Special Unit Battalions, Commando Airborne Tactics... Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. Yeah, it was real hush hush.

The ones from the Marine Core are perfectly legit, though.

Fair enough. Stop Falling for it and I think we may have an accord here.

DjangoStonereaver: I wish all the GOP-tards who claim to revere the military would get off their asses and come up with a
law that frames false claims of military service in terms of fraud (Stolen Valor was apparently framed in
terms of simple falsehoods, which apparently are protected 1st amendment speech). It would be about
the only thing that both sides of the aisle could get behind and give them some rare good PR, but will
they do it? Doubtful.

This asshole is being sued for fraud. What would your proposed law change?

/I'm the Queen of France