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(Science Daily)   New research discovers best ways to avoid having people sit next to you on a bus. 'Looking like a hobo and smelling like urine' strangely not on list   (sciencedaily.com) divider line 117
    More: Interesting, fellow passengers, social isolation, confined space, bus, commuters, transients  
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11434 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2012 at 11:09 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



117 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-01 07:04:49 PM  
Eagerly saying, "This seat is available!" while licking your lips works, too.
 
2012-08-01 08:04:15 PM  
Looking like a hobo and smelling like urine works for me.
 
2012-08-01 09:01:27 PM  
You should have seen the amount a farkwads I've had to deal with on mass transit in the last 30 something years.

//just when I think I've seen it all.. some farkwad delivers it
//get off my train!
 
2012-08-01 09:39:13 PM  
The Vilnius Schoolmaster's advice still applies.
cinemasights.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-01 10:15:06 PM  
Play your music without headphones, even though you have headphones, just to let everyone know how awesome you are for having both Lil Wayne and T-Pain on the same playlist.
 
2012-08-01 10:15:46 PM  
Sorry, this seat is taken

a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2012-08-01 10:29:09 PM  
Look anxious

/and try to drool a little
 
2012-08-01 10:32:35 PM  
FFS, don't encourage this kind of behavior.

Your purse doesn't need its own chair.
Always move if someone old or disabled needs a seat.
Hold off on loudly shouting about your sex life or bowel moments into your cell phone.
If you want to listen to music, use headphones.
Avoid bringing giant strollers onto public transport.
Have your ticket or exact change ready when the bus arrives.

/rant off
 
2012-08-01 11:13:10 PM  
Try not being an asshole and let someone sit down.
 
2012-08-01 11:15:35 PM  
eh i take window seat and tell the person next to me my stop that way we dont have to do the akward dam shuttle. person with longer ride takes window seat.
 
2012-08-01 11:15:47 PM  
cdn.uproxx.com
Approves.
 
2012-08-01 11:15:55 PM  
These days "bus" is interchangeable with "airplane." Seriously...unless you're in the seat next to the pilot, good chance bubba, his greasy wife, or one of their offspring are next to you.
 
2012-08-01 11:15:58 PM  
fta you shouldn't sit next to someone else. As the passengers claimed, "It makes you look weird."

disagree

img.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-01 11:17:58 PM  
www.speakinggump.com
i.qkme.me
 
2012-08-01 11:18:57 PM  

Ebenator: Try not being an asshole and let someone sit down.


This. If I'm close to my stop, I'll just get up and offer my seat. Especially if the bus is crowded, I get more breathing space by standing. No big deal.

Courtesy. It's not that hard, folks.
 
2012-08-01 11:19:06 PM  
Sweatpants, no underwear and an erection. And keep one hand in the pocket with the hole at all times.
 
2012-08-01 11:24:34 PM  
"Looking like a hobo and smelling like urine."

Describes exactly the passenger next to me the last time I took a greyhound bus between cities.
 
2012-08-01 11:26:21 PM  
I expect someone to sit next to me and always leave room...

...but people can somehow detect I am mentally ill so it is rarely taken.

foreveralone.jpg
 
2012-08-01 11:26:31 PM  
People very rarely sit by me so I don't have to bother with any of that.
I don't have any problems with hygiene, I dress normal, I'm just kind of scary looking I guess.
 
2012-08-01 11:26:33 PM  
"Is there anyone sitting here?"

"Only the Lord."
 
2012-08-01 11:26:45 PM  
My favorite on the MBTA: sitting in the aisle seat so as to block access to the empty window seat.
 
2012-08-01 11:27:40 PM  
Has no problem finding a seat...

www.weirdthings.org.uk
 
2012-08-01 11:27:41 PM  
Buy a car.
 
2012-08-01 11:28:25 PM  

zzrhardy: I expect someone to sit next to me and always leave room...

...but people can somehow detect I am mentally ill so it is rarely taken.

foreveralone.jpg


lets hang out.
armies of cops will follow us everywhere
 
2012-08-01 11:28:27 PM  
The first thing they list is avoiding eye contact?

It works so much better to make and hold eye contact as long as possible, while a smile slowly spreads across your face and transforms into a leering grin.
 
2012-08-01 11:29:43 PM  

JesseL: The first thing they list is avoiding eye contact?

It works so much better to make and hold eye contact as long as possible, while a smile slowly spreads across your face and transforms into a leering grin.


wait... that's BAD?
 
2012-08-01 11:30:40 PM  

vicejay: "Is there anyone sitting here?"

"Only the Lord."


"Is that seat saved?"

"No, but we're praying for it."
 
2012-08-01 11:30:56 PM  
Being a fatass helps.
 
2012-08-01 11:31:07 PM  
also works on Southwest Airlines,... have long hair, don't shave or shower before your flight.

But, you run the risk of having the only open seat on the flight next to you, and the last passenger to board weighs 400 lbs,,,, BTDT
 
2012-08-01 11:31:48 PM  
For commuter rail, while I don't mind when someone takes the middle seat of a 3-seat row, I'm always hoping that it doesn't come to that. I'm usually on one of two trains in the morning, and on one it never happens and on the other it always happens. At least I'm never the middle guy because I get on at one of the first stops. I could go 2-seat row, but that pretty much guarantees a neighbor.

As for the subway, I don't sit unless the train is so empty that it would be ridiculous not to. Since I'm mainly on the subway at rush hour, that's almost never.
 
2012-08-01 11:32:23 PM  
Seattle's 358 Express bus, aka the Bus Route of Lost Souls

i759.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-01 11:32:25 PM  

tarheel07: Buy a car.



Yeah, about that...
 
2012-08-01 11:32:37 PM  
Where was this article back when I didnt have a car yet and was forced to take mass transit with all the scum? Being young I didnt have these avoidance tactics worked out yet. Every religious kook, retarded person or generally annoying person looking to converse would invariably sit by me. At 5 A.M. I just wanted to be left the fark alone. This is much of the reason I never ride mass transit today, except for the rare work related plane flight that I cant avoid.

If our leaders seriously want folks to ditch their cars for mass transit they need to make it tolerable. Steps to take would include: 1) increasing leg and arm space by 50%, 2) making sure nobody ever has to squeeze by someone else to get to a seat, 3) instituting a no talking rule - unless it is with blood relatives that are there in person. Which leads to rule 4) no babbling on cell phones. Nobody wants to hear the gory details of your inane life. 5) no listening to music if it can be heard outside your headphones. 6) no retarded, smelly, fat or otherwise offensive folks allowed on board. I dont have to deal with any of this shiat in my car. If you want me to get out of it then you need to make it so I dont have to deal with it when using mass transit.
 
2012-08-01 11:33:54 PM  
Came for Forrest Gump reference, leaving with no legs.
 
2012-08-01 11:34:10 PM  
Giant cross necklace and friendly, glazed smile. Add pamphlet in hand for extra goodness.

/90% of the time, it works every time.
//Not me, but I avoided that guy once.
 
2012-08-01 11:34:40 PM  
nyc.3432.voxcdn.com

/oblig
 
2012-08-01 11:34:56 PM  

zzrhardy: I expect someone to sit next to me and always leave room...

...but people can somehow detect I am mentally ill so it is rarely taken.

foreveralone.jpg



That proves you aren't mentally ill. If you were, the freaks would choose to sit next to you even if the rest of the bus was empty... I think they can smell the meds on you. When I took Paxil I'd always get the lunatics sitting next to me and trying to strike up a conversation. I couldn't tell you how many times it happened.

Now that I don't take any medication, they don't even see me.
 
2012-08-01 11:36:00 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Eagerly saying, "This seat is available!" while licking your lips works, too.


Aw man I forget where I saw it, but a British comedian said something similar which was basically "smile at them while excitedly patting the seat"
 
2012-08-01 11:37:10 PM  
blogs.amctv.com

Smoking with a .357 in your coat.
 
2012-08-01 11:37:45 PM  
jerseymomsblog.files.wordpress.com
/Either one...
//because he's a kiddy rapist...
 
2012-08-01 11:38:20 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-01 11:38:46 PM  

Ebenator: Try not being an asshole and let someone sit down.


It's a very American thing (or maybe I should say "Western thing") to want so much personal space so badly that you're threatened by the very idea of a stranger sitting next to you. It's sorta funny that the article says "people" when it should say "Americans" or "Westerners" as if the writer earnestly believes everyone the world over is like this.
 
2012-08-01 11:40:30 PM  
The seat next to you is not for your shiat, especially your purse. Move it. Also, put your 40-gallon backpack in the rack above you or on the floor, so your straphanging self doesn't take up six feet of aisle and/or decapitate a passenger when you turn around to get off.

Weird people get on the bus, and they might sit next to you, but this is no reason to stop dozens of passengers from taking a seat. If you don't want to sit next to people, drive yourself and wait in the other three lanes of traffic.

There's a seat next to me for attractive women, BTW.
 
2012-08-01 11:44:28 PM  
Obviously an amateur. Looking like a hobo and smelling like urine always works for me.
 
2012-08-01 11:44:51 PM  

Miss Stein: Seattle's 358 Express bus, aka the Bus Route of Lost Souls

[i759.photobucket.com image 544x368]


I ride a Sound Transit route that is very quiet. King County Metro buses are the #1 place in Seattle to be crazy.
 
2012-08-01 11:45:02 PM  

zzrhardy: I expect someone to sit next to me and always leave room...

...but people can somehow detect I am mentally ill so it is rarely taken.

foreveralone.jpg


get some Ray-Bans to hide the crazy eyes. you'll be making friends in no time.
 
2012-08-01 11:49:05 PM  
I rode the ABQ Ride system for a good portion of the time I lived in that city, and most of my trips involved a ride on one of the Central buses. Not having a hobo that smelled like urine sitting in close proximity to you was a rare treat.

/Kick, replies, all that.
 
2012-08-01 11:49:06 PM  
Look! just kick off your shoes and let your funky sweaty feet air out on the seat across from you. That's the Metro-North way!
 
2012-08-01 11:49:43 PM  

ciberido: It's a very American thing


You will soon discover that westerners are not so bad at lining up though - relatively.

A hand full of people from China for instance can turn any orderly line into a mob in seconds. It's just not in their culture to line up, rather everyone is meant to push and jostle in some sort of brownian motion.
 
2012-08-01 11:50:40 PM  

penthesilea: FFS, don't encourage this kind of behavior.

Your purse doesn't need its own chair.
Always move if someone old or disabled needs a seat.
Hold off on loudly shouting about your sex life or bowel moments into your cell phone.
If you want to listen to music, use headphones.
Avoid bringing giant strollers onto public transport.
Have your ticket or exact change ready when the bus arrives.

/rant off


Well, you beat me to it.

I don't blame people for playing that jerk game if you're on a Greyhound or something and have 12 more hours to go... but on public transportation, EFFING ACT LIKE A DECENT HUMAN BEING. Maybe karma will reward you.

I would add: you can bring strollers if you can fold them and stow them lickety-split (the space for wheelchair riders doubles as stroller storage on the bus I take to work). And you don't have to get up if someone elderly comes on, just ask them if they'd like your seat first. 50% of the time I get turned down, either "thanks but I'm fine" or "no worries, my stop is two up anyway". But I ask.

Something that students at my college always did that has seeped into the city bus system in the past few years is just a "thank you" as you're leaving the bus to the driver. I like it. I get to ride for free thanks to my work and the city not *wanting* me to add another car to the downtown parking mix, and there's definitely some skill involved, driving a huge, heavy thing in downtown while watching for pedestrians to pop out between parked cars. Anyway.

Ima4nic8or: . At 5 A.M. I just wanted to be left the fark alone. This is much of the reason I never ride mass transit today, except for the rare work related plane flight that I cant avoid.


WEAR HEADPHONES.

Brilliant idea, eh?

My local bus has the next stop displayed anyway for deaf passengers. The last time I had an involved discussion with someone on the bus, it's because I wanted to. And it was a pretty awesome conversation for the 20 minutes I had.

I get to ride the bus for free, but the seating is just fine. It's to get to freaking work. I'm sure the people on the bus with me doing the same thing would love to get their fares raised so *less* people could sit down?

All I care about is

a) it's on time or close (constant updating on their site + smartphone = happy me),

b) clean (yep, and if a smelly person comes on now and then, whatever, I move if I can - they have to get around too, you know - the most offensive ones I've seen have disabled discount cards so not entirely their fault hygiene ain't their thing - move down a few rows),

c) that the service extends as best it can as far as both hours and geographical areas covered are concerned.
 
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