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(CNN)   Dutch man creates lifesize replica of Noah's Ark, forgets the rudder   (cnn.com) divider line 149
    More: Weird, Noah's Ark, ark, floods  
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12665 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2012 at 8:49 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-01 05:31:14 PM  
Very close. The ark was more like a giant barge- boxier than that, and with only one window. Its design ensured hydrodynamic stability in any sort of tempest, and would have worked on the same principles as modern lifeboats do. With the one window at the top, and sealed well, the ark could have been submerged fully under a wave and bobbed out intact.

/But I wouldn't want to build one even if I had the money. What's the point?
 
2012-08-01 05:39:20 PM  

Skywolf Philosopher: Very close. The ark was more like a giant barge- boxier than that, and with only one window. Its design ensured hydrodynamic stability in any sort of tempest, and would have worked on the same principles as modern lifeboats do. With the one window at the top, and sealed well, the ark could have been submerged fully under a wave and bobbed out intact.

/But I wouldn't want to build one even if I had the money. What's the point?


Citation needed.
 
2012-08-01 05:45:50 PM  
It's funny how people enjoy the idea of celebrating genocide.
 
2012-08-01 05:48:48 PM  

yanceylebeef: Citation needed.


http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4279

Link

If its too much tl;dr for some folks, there is also a link to listen to it on the page as well.

/Skeptoid rocks.
 
2012-08-01 06:28:14 PM  

yanceylebeef: Skywolf Philosopher: Very close. The ark was more like a giant barge- boxier than that, and with only one window. Its design ensured hydrodynamic stability in any sort of tempest, and would have worked on the same principles as modern lifeboats do. With the one window at the top, and sealed well, the ark could have been submerged fully under a wave and bobbed out intact.

/But I wouldn't want to build one even if I had the money. What's the point?

Citation needed.


The Genesis Flood, by Drs. John Whitcomb and Henry Morris. It is well researched and worthy of a place in one's library, irregardless of religious stance.

The Biblical record, in Genesis, accompanied by studies of Hebrew linguistics, which is easy to do with a Strong's concordance and a dictionary of old testament words.

Some data is available online, with a bit of research.
 
2012-08-01 08:10:48 PM  

Skywolf Philosopher: Very close. The ark was more like a giant barge- boxier than that, and with only one window. Its design ensured hydrodynamic stability in any sort of tempest, and would have worked on the same principles as modern lifeboats do. With the one window at the top, and sealed well, the ark could have been submerged fully under a wave and bobbed out intact.

/But I wouldn't want to build one even if I had the money. What's the point?


With only one window the smell must have been of biblical proportion.
 
2012-08-01 08:49:55 PM  
Figures a Dutch guy would have a nightmare about a flood.
 
2012-08-01 08:51:55 PM  
god will steer
 
2012-08-01 08:52:32 PM  
It pains me to think that there's people out there who think the Noah's Ark story is anything but rehashed allegory.

Seriously, people. The hell.
 
2012-08-01 08:53:33 PM  

revrendjim: Skywolf Philosopher: Very close. The ark was more like a giant barge- boxier than that, and with only one window. Its design ensured hydrodynamic stability in any sort of tempest, and would have worked on the same principles as modern lifeboats do. With the one window at the top, and sealed well, the ark could have been submerged fully under a wave and bobbed out intact.

/But I wouldn't want to build one even if I had the money. What's the point?

With only one window the smell must have been of biblical proportion.



Lions and tigers and bears feces. Oh my.
 
2012-08-01 08:54:32 PM  

Skywolf Philosopher: Very close. The ark was more like a giant barge- boxier than that, and with only one window. Its design ensured hydrodynamic stability in any sort of tempest, and would have worked on the same principles as modern lifeboats do. With the one window at the top, and sealed well, the ark could have been submerged fully under a wave and bobbed out intact.

/But I wouldn't want to build one even if I had the money. What's the point?


You sound pretty sure for someone with no facts.

/Yeah, 100 million species of animals could fit in there. No problem.
//It's GAWD!!!
 
2012-08-01 08:54:53 PM  
forgets the rubber?

t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-08-01 08:55:04 PM  
Pffft.
 
2012-08-01 08:55:53 PM  

Indubitably: Pffft.


Phhpthpphtepptht.
 
2012-08-01 08:56:35 PM  
i2.cdn.turner.com

The gay male lions and cross species monkey on ape action should surely provide a very educational bible lesson.
 
2012-08-01 08:56:47 PM  
Call me when he manages to collect two of every species of animal and place them on that ship. Because if he does that and we can take measurements of how much empty space is left over, and we'll know exactly how much space two of every dinosaur would've taken up.
 
2012-08-01 08:59:41 PM  
www.multivu.com
 
2012-08-01 09:00:17 PM  

Cpl.D: It pains me to think that there's people out there who think the Noah's Ark story is anything but rehashed allegory.

Seriously, people. The hell.


Abso-farking-lutely.
 
2012-08-01 09:00:38 PM  

Skywolf Philosopher: Very close. The ark was more like a giant barge- boxier than that, and with only one window. Its design ensured hydrodynamic stability in any sort of tempest, and would have worked on the same principles as modern lifeboats do. With the one window at the top, and sealed well, the ark could have been submerged fully under a wave and bobbed out intact.


Don't forget the ability to stay afloat after bringing two of every animal that was alive at the time onto the boat.
 
2012-08-01 09:00:43 PM  
That looks a bit bigger than 300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits.
 
2012-08-01 09:02:01 PM  
The western Maryland Ark: Link
 
2012-08-01 09:02:41 PM  
 
2012-08-01 09:02:55 PM  

Skywolf Philosopher: irregardless


I'm going to kick you in the balls.
 
2012-08-01 09:03:54 PM  

DarkSkyForever: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

The gay male lions and cross species monkey on ape action should surely provide a very educational bible lesson.


That gorilla and chimp thing is awesome. I wonder if they have a dog and cat, since dogs are male and cats are female. Dogs are too cool to be girls. You see their sharp teeth? That's sooo cool!

I came here to mention the lions. I love how practically every Noah's ark knickknack (or "authentic recreation") never recognize sexual dimorphism.
 
2012-08-01 09:04:49 PM  

DarkSkyForever: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

The gay male lions and cross species monkey on ape action should surely provide a very educational bible lesson.


That threw me off as well. What a strange diorama this man has created with these creatures. Poor Dutch, too. The goddamn (wocka) boat is an eyesore.
 
2012-08-01 09:04:53 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: DarkSkyForever: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

The gay male lions and cross species monkey on ape action should surely provide a very educational bible lesson.

That gorilla and chimp thing is awesome. I wonder if they have a dog and cat, since dogs are male and cats are female. Dogs are too cool to be girls. You see their sharp teeth? That's sooo cool!

I came here to mention the lions. I love how practically every Noah's ark knickknack (or "authentic recreation") never recognize sexual dimorphism.


What? 'Morph', like evolution?
 
2012-08-01 09:04:54 PM  
Any ship from that era wouldn't have a rudder, it would have a steering oar. The rudder and whipstaff weren't invented until circa first-century China, and it didn't show up in Southwest Asia until circa ninth century.
 
2012-08-01 09:05:06 PM  
Sigh.

I'll do it.


www.badideatshirts.com
 
2012-08-01 09:06:06 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Skywolf Philosopher: irregardless

I'm going to kick you in the balls.


Have you seen the lack of apostrophes lately?

Sheesh.

Bunch of heathens...

;)
 
2012-08-01 09:06:58 PM  
Only a bloody Dutchman......
 
2012-08-01 09:07:19 PM  

stevegarbowski: Sigh.

I'll do it.


[www.badideatshirts.com image 500x500]


I prefer you call it a ship, please. Thank you.
 
2012-08-01 09:08:25 PM  
Prophetic dream or overhearing neighbors watching Steve Carell movie in your sleep.

Plus he's saving all the plastic animals, that got left behind last time.
 
2012-08-01 09:08:36 PM  

Mini Ditka: Only a bloody Dutchman......


deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-01 09:09:47 PM  

Raharu: yanceylebeef: Citation needed.

http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4279

Link

If its too much tl;dr for some folks, there is also a link to listen to it on the page as well.

/Skeptoid rocks.


Brian Dunning's voice:

media.tumblr.com
 
2012-08-01 09:10:50 PM  
Are there any Green alligators and long-necked geese?
Humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees?
Cats and rats and elephants?
 
Biv
2012-08-01 09:12:59 PM  

Indubitably: stevegarbowski: Sigh.

I'll do it.


[www.badideatshirts.com image 500x500]

I prefer you call it a ship, please. Thank you.


It's a schooner, you dumb bastard.

/reworked for effectiveness
 
2012-08-01 09:13:23 PM  
So how did Noah feed all of these animals? Did he bring enough veggies for the herbivores, and enough extra animals for the carnivores? That could be a lot of extra animals. Not to mention fresh water, and cleaning all the droppings. That'd be a full time job for at least 1.5 Noah's. Noah must have been very bootstrappy.
 
2012-08-01 09:15:51 PM  
Odd. I thought all of the ultra-religious Dutch people emigrated to Grand Rapids, Michigan years ago....
 
2012-08-01 09:17:52 PM  
eerbody always fergets this part:

Genesis 7:1-3

Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.
 
2012-08-01 09:17:53 PM  

The_Fuzz: So how did Noah feed all of these animals? Did he bring enough veggies for the herbivores, and enough extra animals for the carnivores? That could be a lot of extra animals. Not to mention fresh water, and cleaning all the droppings. That'd be a full time job for at least 1.5 Noah's. Noah must have been very bootstrappy.


He brought his family, so he was a job creator too.
 
2012-08-01 09:19:19 PM  

Biv: Indubitably: stevegarbowski: Sigh.

I'll do it.


[www.badideatshirts.com image 500x500]

I prefer you call it a ship, please. Thank you.

It's a schooner, you dumb bastard.

/reworked for effectiveness


I have always been dumb and blind feeling my way through our world, you?

;)
 
2012-08-01 09:21:52 PM  

The_Fuzz: So how did Noah feed all of these animals? Did he bring enough veggies for the herbivores, and enough extra animals for the carnivores? That could be a lot of extra animals. Not to mention fresh water, and cleaning all the droppings. That'd be a full time job for at least 1.5 Noah's. Noah must have been very bootstrappy.


God gave Noah Mana from heaven to feed and water the animals and it doesn't produce waste because it is perfect. so shut your whore mouth.
 
2012-08-01 09:22:21 PM  
FTFA: "Weighing about 3,000 tons, the boat contains sleeping quarters, a theater, restaurant and conference facilities to seat 1,500 people."

I wonder if Noah's Ark featured a theater, or maybe a gift store...
 
2012-08-01 09:22:44 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: Odd. I thought all of the ultra-religious Dutch people emigrated to Grand Rapids, Michigan years ago....


Oh God, isn't that the truth. I did an internship there years ago, and everybody over the age of 13 absolutely had to be seen in public holding hands with a member of the opposite sex. Not that it has anything to do with being Dutch, but they do marry fast up there.

I still live in Michigan and I haven't encountered the same thing elsewhere.
 
2012-08-01 09:23:17 PM  

The Bunyip: Are there any Green alligators and long-necked geese?
Humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees?
Cats and rats and elephants?


Sure as you're born...

Also, I see what you did there subby
 
2012-08-01 09:25:18 PM  
He doesn't need a rudder. Why you ask ? Because God is his rudder.

/I actually typed that with a straight face
//Son of a Preatcher Man
///I can say or type anything with a straight face
////How do you think I met and married my wife ?!?!
//I can lie my azz off, any time anywhere.
//"He's the son of a Preatcher Man !"
 
2012-08-01 09:26:24 PM  
The Bunyip
That looks a bit bigger than 300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits.

Riiiiight. What's a cubit?

Seriously, though, based on what Wikipedia thinks a cubit is (52.3cm minimum), that boat should have been about 450 feet long. That's one heck of a job for a man 600 years old, especially in light of the fact that we couldn't build anything that large until we started using metal (HMS Warrior, the first iron-hulled warship, was built in 1860 and at 418 feet in length was the largest ship on her time). A wooden boat that long built by a landlubber should have broken in half the first time it went up a wave.

I brought up this point with the creationist who put on that display at the university where I used to teach. His answer was "because God." That was his only answer, actually. Apart from being a creationist, he seemed like a pretty nice guy.
 
2012-08-01 09:26:55 PM  
Go away, I'm boatin'.
 
2012-08-01 09:27:56 PM  
NEWJERSEYFARKTAG
//Son of a Preatcher Man
////How do you think I met and married my wife ?!?!


You were the only boy who could ever reach her?
 
2012-08-01 09:27:58 PM  
cdn1.wn.com

Yes, your big wooden boat filled with plastic animals is far more important than starving children. That's what Gee-zus wanted. It's in the Bye-bul after all.

Christians baffle me, especially the otherwise intelligent ones.
 
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