If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AZ Family)   It turns out Americans aren't as sensitive to gluten as we kept telling ourselves. "We have a lot of self-diagnosing going on out there"   (azfamily.com) divider line 53
    More: Obvious, Americans, free product, United Methodist Church, food fad, health food store, Green Revolution, Mintel, celiac disease  
•       •       •

13416 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2012 at 5:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-08-01 05:01:51 PM  
23 votes:
Gluten glieben glauben globen
2012-08-01 05:57:03 PM  
3 votes:

shortymac: RexTalionis: Meanwhile, in Asia, people literally eat food that's made literally just refined wheat gluten.

Africans and Asians tend to not get Celiac and gluten intolerance, however about 80% are lactose intolerant. Asians also get red-faced while drinking do to a slight alcohol intolerance.


I'm Asian, I can out-drink any whitey. I never get red-faced unless some chick menstruates on my face.
2012-08-01 04:36:12 PM  
3 votes:

wee: generalDisdain: The only thing never self-diagnosed is obesity.
"I am 400lbs. overweight and I have to ride this power chair because my knees are bad."
Whatever, fatass.

Don't forget to mention a "slow metabolism".

Something moves slowly, all right...


Oh, I have heard all of that crap!
"Water doesn't metabolize in my body, so I cannot drink it before meals as a way to eat less."
"I cannot exercise, my muscles don't work like everyone else's do."
"Oh I would never drink non-diet soda, due to my diabetes, but can you grab me a three pound bag of reese's cups?"
"The internet told me I have fibro!"

And on, and on, and on...
2012-08-01 04:21:55 PM  
3 votes:
The only thing never self-diagnosed is obesity.
"I am 400lbs. overweight and I have to ride this power chair because my knees are bad."
Whatever, fatass.
2012-08-01 06:14:25 PM  
2 votes:
I drank 9 beers last night and had explosive shiats this morning. Damn you, gluten!!!
2012-08-01 06:04:38 PM  
2 votes:

generalDisdain: I hear you can get a Master's degree in Predominantly Female in Thailand.


Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Predominately Female? In Thailand?

If I had a dollar for every time my boss had said that...
2012-08-01 05:49:54 PM  
2 votes:
What's a "glewton"....

collider.com
2012-08-01 05:48:38 PM  
2 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Gluten glieben glauben globen


"the sound of one hand clapping"
wee [TotalFark]
2012-08-01 05:35:41 PM  
2 votes:

generalDisdain: Water doesn't metabolize in my body


Uh... as in, they're failing to turn it to steam in their lower GI or something? Like their duodenum doesn't produce hydrogen gas and electricity? That just... makes no sense.
2012-08-01 04:21:24 PM  
2 votes:
But... but... DR. OZ!!11!!!
2012-08-02 04:05:10 PM  
1 votes:

shortymac: Asians also get red-faced while drinking do to a slight alcohol intolerance.


Everybody gets red-faced due to a slight tolerance of alcohol. Alcohols are highly poisonous to the body and the body has a slight tolerance for ethanol, the type that is found in alcoholic drinks.
2012-08-01 11:11:54 PM  
1 votes:

Pfft!: I drank 9 beers last night and had explosive shiats this morning. Damn you, gluten!!!


If you drank 9beers last night, you should count your lucky stars all you got was explosive diarrhea!
2012-08-01 08:36:05 PM  
1 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2012-08-01 08:19:03 PM  
1 votes:

mekkab: I brought in donuts for the team. After I concluded the meeting, I went to the donut box and saw it was empty. I never had a chance to eat one. I told people "I didn't have a donut because I'm avoiding gluten" but the truth was I was too slow and fat to get one of my own donuts.



/donut


Bullshiat. I work with a woman who must be pushing 400 pounds. In almost all aspects of life, she's slower than a dead snail (especially when there's work to be done). Put a box of donuts in the lunch room, and you've never seen someone move so fast. I'm serious; we're talking Olympic level sprinting here.
2012-08-01 08:16:10 PM  
1 votes:
I brought in donuts for the team. After I concluded the meeting, I went to the donut box and saw it was empty. I never had a chance to eat one. I told people "I didn't have a donut because I'm avoiding gluten" but the truth was I was too slow and fat to get one of my own donuts.



/donut
2012-08-01 08:06:10 PM  
1 votes:
I waited tables to put myself through school. In the past 3 years, the number of people claiming to have Celiac's disease skyrocketed. They were always women, and they were always extremely rude. Somewhere along the line, all the intolerable biatches in the world got together and decided that it was cool to be allergic to gluten, and totally worth it to lie about it at every restaurant they went to.
2012-08-01 07:35:58 PM  
1 votes:

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: thurstonxhowell: The doctors are also cautiously suggesting fibromyalgia as a cause of some of her symptoms, but they're not sure

Fibro is what real doctors diagnose when they're tired of dealing with someone who has an endless list of new symptoms every time they're seen. Fibro drugs tend to double as anti-anxiety and other psychotropic drugs, if I remember correctly.


My FIL, who is a psychiatrist, is fond of saying that fibromyalgia is a diagnosis doctors invented for hypochondriacs who refuse to seek psychiatric help.
2012-08-01 07:30:57 PM  
1 votes:
www.feedem.co.uk
2012-08-01 07:29:30 PM  
1 votes:

All_Farked_Up: How an you have any pudding if you don't eat your wheat!


I'll bet when you get home tonight your fat and psychopathic wife will thrash you within inches of your life for that comment.
2012-08-01 07:24:00 PM  
1 votes:
The cool new bullshiat ailment on the block is Electromagnetic Sensitivity Disorder.
2012-08-01 07:18:02 PM  
1 votes:
Fortunately, gluten allergy is one of those very rare diseases that only seems to affect white people above a certain income level.
2012-08-01 07:10:28 PM  
1 votes:

blahpers: sigdiamond2000: I like Adam Carolla's take on food "intolerances".

Something along the lines of "in 15 years of working and eating lunch with poor whites, blacks, and Mexicans, I never once met a single one of them who had a food intolerance."

Food "intolerance": The very definition of middle-to-upper class white people problems.

That's because poor people don't talk much about having The Shiats all the time because they have even more pressing problems. This doesn't mean jack for the fact that there are people with actual intolerances (lactose being a common one).


I know quite a few people with the lactose problem. You go over to their house, they're off the to bathroom constantly, groaning, and apologising for for the smell. "I gave into temptation, I had ice cream last night, oh god, I'm so bloated." They want to eat dairy but if they do, it's like they had a visit from the Magical Dysentery Fairy.
2012-08-01 07:09:35 PM  
1 votes:
I say its Lupus
2012-08-01 06:51:26 PM  
1 votes:

lecavalier: I live in Yonkers, NY and work in Bedford Hills, NY ... in a restaurant. There isn't a single motherfarker in Yonkers with a gluten allergy. Not one. In Bedford? I am working on creating a new menu to kowtow to their "diets."

Now guess which place is the rich people place.


So people who can afford to go to a doctor are more likely to be diagnosed with a disease?
2012-08-01 06:51:22 PM  
1 votes:
My wife thought she was gluten intolerant until she tried some of that gluten free pasta.
2012-08-01 06:47:46 PM  
1 votes:

SultanofSchwing: doczoidberg: Celiac Disease is one of those conditions that I'd just ignore if I had it.
Like Diabetes.

Be difficult to ignore it when your shiat has the consistency of baby food and smells like a dead elephants vagina.


Not really.
That's kind of how it is now.
2012-08-01 06:44:18 PM  
1 votes:

doczoidberg: Celiac Disease is one of those conditions that I'd just ignore if I had it.
Like Diabetes.


Be difficult to ignore it when your shiat has the consistency of baby food and smells like a dead elephants vagina.
2012-08-01 06:43:14 PM  
1 votes:
I'm allergic to all foods. I know because it all turns to shiat and piss. At least that's all the proof I have and the PROOF IS IN THE POOTING
2012-08-01 06:40:11 PM  
1 votes:

Captain_Ballbeard: gregscott: You're running up debt year by year on your credit card, and not saving your money for emergencies and retirement.
But buying expensive food to sooth your imaginary ills make you feel like you're taking good care of yourself.
Good for you.


Most of the Whole Foods shoppers I know, who will spend 12.00 on an "anti-biotic free" chicken, are weed smokers. They will gladly smoke a product bought on the black market, trusting the Mexican Cartels or KY hillbillies who grew it not to have hosed it down with chemicals not even legal to posses on a corn farm. Point that out to them and watch the intellectual Cirque de Soleil begin.


It's just dumbass talking point after dumbass talking point with you, isn't it? Have you tried having an original thought?
2012-08-01 06:37:56 PM  
1 votes:
CSB: Dad wound up in hospital for 3 weeks with gall stones and agonizing abdominal pains, had his gall bladder removed, shiat came on quite suddenly and was pretty scary. During this time he was diagnosed with celiac disease. He had to change his diet around considerably, used to drink beer frequently, not anymore. Scotch is still ok apparently, which is odd since it's made from barley...but yeah. As well as cutting out all the wheat in other products. About 5 years later, he looks much better than before. Probably lost about 20-30lbs as well.
2012-08-01 06:35:54 PM  
1 votes:
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop eating gluten.
2012-08-01 06:31:27 PM  
1 votes:
You're running up debt year by year on your credit card, and not saving your money for emergencies and retirement.
But buying expensive food to sooth your imaginary ills make you feel like you're taking good care of yourself.
Good for you.
2012-08-01 06:24:44 PM  
1 votes:
1. Celiac disease is not the only form of gluten sensitivity, just the most extreme. Quoting statististics about celiac disease does nothing to disprove the claims of pro-gluten-free dieters.

2. A gluten-free diet, if you can afford to do it properly, is much more healthful for the average person than a grain-heavy diet, regardless of diet politics. Historically, grains have represented a poor substitute for meat, a representation of the technological achievement of feeding a multitude of subjects on less land than hunting requires.

Cutting grains out of your diet isn't at all detrimental, and might make you feel better. Gee, let's all react against someone trying to change their lives for the better by calling them fad-chasers...
2012-08-01 06:19:58 PM  
1 votes:

Iggie: Nogrhi: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Gluten glieben glauben globen

allllll riiight....

You got something to say?


leighbardugo.files.wordpress.com
2012-08-01 06:19:50 PM  
1 votes:
I have a Meetup group that meets for dinner and conversation once a week. I figured it would be a great way to meet women and evaluate them better than profiles, but it's been even better for screening picky eaters. This one's a chubby vegetarian, this ones a multi-allergy that's avoiding wheat and soy and other stuff, that one only eats fish, that one's ... not picky. Lets chat her up.
2012-08-01 06:17:01 PM  
1 votes:

Nogrhi: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Gluten glieben glauben globen

allllll riiight....


You got something to say?
2012-08-01 06:08:45 PM  
1 votes:
The ONLY person I have ever known to claim to suffer this intolerance to gluten also claims to have fibromyalgia and some bizarre disease where fungus grows from her pores. Her children live in a madhouse of positive pressure HEPA filtration (complete with containment vestibule in foyer), taste-free cereal and the endless stream of late night gentlemen callers who know the secret about crazy biatches.
2012-08-01 06:01:59 PM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Gluten glieben glauben globen


allllll riiight....
2012-08-01 06:01:43 PM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Gluten glieben glauben globen


GIVE IT TO ME BABY

/you can tell I'm young by this
2012-08-01 06:00:34 PM  
1 votes:
Farking whiny grain lobby.

How's this: when crapping shards of glass becomes all the rage, maybe then I'll give up this "fad."
2012-08-01 05:59:54 PM  
1 votes:

RexTalionis: Meanwhile, in Asia, people literally eat food that's made literally just refined wheat gluten.



And panda scrotums. Don't forget the panda scrotums.
2012-08-01 05:54:39 PM  
1 votes:
IIRC, the last time we had this discussion someone made a good point about gluten issues. Namely, it's less about the fact that we're having gluten, as we're having biologically over-engineered gluten that our bodies just don't recognize anymore as such. It's an interesting theory, which basically means that since not everyone has Celiac's, the ones who do must be on Darwin's watch list, and the 24% who say they have it but don't are just wannabes and AW's.

But yes, as a country, given how many shows and infomercials and books and "specialists" there are out there, we have made self-diagnosis into a farking art form.

\friend is trying the gluten free thing right now, but for knee issues
\\seeing how many dr's she's been to for said knee, it's as good an idea as any of the previous ones
2012-08-01 05:54:36 PM  
1 votes:
Bu... but MY intestinal villi are SPECIAL! They're more sensitive than other people's!
2012-08-01 05:50:42 PM  
1 votes:
Fig Glutens are my favorite cookie almost.
2012-08-01 05:50:28 PM  
1 votes:

TorqueToad: However I agree with the headline... people convince themselves of a lot of crazy crap.


Like convincing themselves they're experts on who has the intolerance and who doesn't.

It's so far-fetched so they must be making it up, right?

Kind of reminds me of the anti-global warming dim bulbs.
2012-08-01 05:45:38 PM  
1 votes:
I'm gluten intolerant. It gives me gas.

I went off gluten for two months. All it did was reduce my farting. I'm back eating it now. Sucks to be my coworker...
2012-08-01 05:45:26 PM  
1 votes:
Some people like to talk about their ailments, but until they're old they need fake ailments to pick up the slack.
2012-08-01 05:44:28 PM  
1 votes:
www.bloodygoodhorror.com
2012-08-01 04:47:14 PM  
1 votes:

generalDisdain: wee: generalDisdain: The only thing never self-diagnosed is obesity.
"I am 400lbs. overweight and I have to ride this power chair because my knees are bad."
Whatever, fatass.

Don't forget to mention a "slow metabolism".

Something moves slowly, all right...

Oh, I have heard all of that crap!
"Water doesn't metabolize in my body, so I cannot drink it before meals as a way to eat less."
"I cannot exercise, my muscles don't work like everyone else's do."
"Oh I would never drink non-diet soda, due to my diabetes, but can you grab me a three pound bag of reese's cups?"
"The internet told me I have fibro!"

And on, and on, and on...


"I don't have time to cook, exercise, etc"
" I just don't like diet food" WTF?
2012-08-01 04:46:46 PM  
1 votes:
I like Adam Carolla's take on food "intolerances".

Something along the lines of "in 15 years of working and eating lunch with poor whites, blacks, and Mexicans, I never once met a single one of them who had a food intolerance."

Food "intolerance": The very definition of middle-to-upper class white people problems.
2012-08-01 04:28:16 PM  
1 votes:
But the TV told me to ask my doctor, that means I am just as knowledgeable about medicine as they are!
wee [TotalFark]
2012-08-01 04:26:55 PM  
1 votes:

generalDisdain: The only thing never self-diagnosed is obesity.
"I am 400lbs. overweight and I have to ride this power chair because my knees are bad."
Whatever, fatass.


Don't forget to mention a "slow metabolism".

Something moves slowly, all right...
2012-08-01 04:10:41 PM  
1 votes:
Oh you mean like with

Adult ADHD
Autism
Aspergers
Peanut Allergies
Chronic Fatigue syndrome
Childhood ADHD
 
Displayed 53 of 53 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report