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(NBC 12 Richmond)   Jack slips, crushing man under BMW. Hot daughter lifts BMW off her dad, throws it aside and performs CPR, saving his life   (nbc12.com) divider line 142
    More: Hero, CPR, BMW, Media General  
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32588 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2012 at 11:43 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



142 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-01 09:35:04 AM  
Impressed.
 
2012-08-01 09:49:32 AM  
It's a good thing the car didn't figuratively fall on him, otherwise the girl might have had to resort to prose.
 
2012-08-01 09:54:31 AM  
That's why I use Johnnie to hold up my car.
 
2012-08-01 09:57:40 AM  
Way to pay attention, Jack, you slippery-fingered assknuckle
 
2012-08-01 10:01:24 AM  
www.bendpak.com

they make 'em for a reason mate.
 
2012-08-01 10:04:44 AM  
That's awesome. Amazing what we can do under great amounts of stress. Take me for example, when faced with incredible danger and insurmountable odds I am almost superhuman in my ability to flee like a cheetah with my arms waving in the air, screaming like a little girl.
 
2012-08-01 10:04:57 AM  
But what happened to Jack?
 
2012-08-01 10:06:10 AM  
The important thing is that I am okay.
 
2012-08-01 10:21:35 AM  
she had obviously just come from the gym 26 minutes ago.
 
2012-08-01 10:35:38 AM  

brap: That's awesome. Amazing what we can do under great amounts of stress. Take me for example, when faced with incredible danger and insurmountable odds I am almost superhuman in my ability to flee like a cheetah with my arms waving in the air, screaming like a little girl.


The violent explosion of feces from your body is a very effective predator deterrent.
 
2012-08-01 10:47:42 AM  
I'm Jack's complete lack of support.
 
2012-08-01 10:54:07 AM  
Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.
 
2012-08-01 10:57:34 AM  
Adrenalin is a hell of a drug.
 
2012-08-01 10:59:00 AM  

doublesecretprobation: [www.bendpak.com image 349x349]

they make 'em for a reason mate.


THIS. And I throw a wheel under the car (on it's side) for an extra degree of protection.
 
2012-08-01 11:07:10 AM  
ahh, i see subby is referring to texan hot, not british hot.
 
2012-08-01 11:09:15 AM  

SlothB77: ahh, i see subby is referring to texan hot, not british hot.


Nevermind, wrong state. I thought it said Allen, TX.
 
2012-08-01 11:46:14 AM  
So how much damage she do to herself in the process?
 
2012-08-01 11:46:35 AM  
Cool for the girl and all....but really, the dad deserved to die for being a dumbass...use stands asshole!
 
2012-08-01 11:47:33 AM  

SlothB77: ahh, i see subby is referring to texan hot, not british hot.


I don't even get out of bed for anything less than California hot. Swedish hot, if you can get it.
 
2012-08-01 11:47:40 AM  

SlothB77: SlothB77: ahh, i see subby is referring to texan hot, not british hot.

Nevermind, wrong state. I thought it said Allen, TX.


Glen Allen, Virginia
 
2012-08-01 11:47:48 AM  
She IS a comely lass! There will be "slipping jacks" to her visage, I tell you!
 
2012-08-01 11:48:24 AM  
static03.mediaite.com
 
2012-08-01 11:48:47 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: But what happened to Jack?


Or Glen? Or Allen? I am so confused.
 
2012-08-01 11:48:47 AM  

mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.


Lets add Harbor Freight to this list.
 
2012-08-01 11:48:56 AM  

antidisestablishmentarianism: And I throw a wheel under the car (on it's side) for an extra degree of protection.


I do that even if I am not going to be under the car...protect the hub assy.
 
2012-08-01 11:49:00 AM  

doublesecretprobation: [www.bendpak.com image 349x349]

they make 'em for a reason mate.


This.
 
2012-08-01 11:49:23 AM  
I hear she's in the running now to play She-Hulk
 
2012-08-01 11:49:27 AM  
"Jack not name... Jack job!"
2.bp.blogspot.com

You know, they have a She-Hulk thread going... maybe she should go try out for that.
 
2012-08-01 11:49:44 AM  

doublesecretprobation: [www.bendpak.com image 349x349]

they make 'em for a reason mate.


THIS. Especially if you find yourself lying directly under the rotor!
 
2012-08-01 11:50:04 AM  
I'd let her save me... or something. I could never do these right.

Good for her though. Made all the right moves and saved her dad.
 
2012-08-01 11:50:11 AM  

doublesecretprobation: [www.bendpak.com image 349x349]

they make 'em for a reason mate.


This. Never trust a jack.
 
2012-08-01 11:50:27 AM  
The 22-year-old just graduated from Mary Washington with a physics degree, but while looking for work, she decided to return to something familiar to earn a little money

i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-08-01 11:50:31 AM  
Great story and I am glad about the happy ending.

That said, the reporting of this quote from the girl's mother, Liz, made me want to cry: "She got his heart beating again and got him breathing again," said Liz. "So, she's it. He gave her life and then he gave her life. I am in awe of her. I am in awe of her. She is the day. She saved the day. I can't even tell you how proud I am of her."

Cry from anger at the combined failure of proofreading / quoting the excited utterance of a mom without giving her a chance to say something thoughtful about the situation.
 
2012-08-01 11:52:00 AM  

RedT: doublesecretprobation: [www.bendpak.com image 349x349]

they make 'em for a reason mate.

THIS. Especially if you find yourself lying directly under the rotor!


Nightmares, man.
 
2012-08-01 11:52:24 AM  

Fish in a Barrel: Never trust a jack.


www.bbc.co.uk
 
2012-08-01 11:52:34 AM  
Another "fark" beauty
i141.photobucket.com
i141.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-01 11:52:41 AM  

Do the needful: mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.

Lets add Harbor Freight to this list.


The harbor freight jacks frequently break, but you should never trust your life to any jack. The Harbor Freight jack stands seem to be as reliable as anything from your local auto parts store.
 
2012-08-01 11:52:44 AM  

AbbeySomeone: Impressed.


Yeah, that car must be heavy.
 
2012-08-01 11:53:29 AM  
yafh.com
 
2012-08-01 11:53:31 AM  
I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.
 
2012-08-01 11:55:03 AM  

Do the needful: mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.

Lets add Harbor Freight to this list.


I will buy, like, sandpaper or a cheap screw driver set from them, but nothing that might have to save my life.

Agreed.
 
2012-08-01 11:55:17 AM  

czei: Do the needful: mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.

Lets add Harbor Freight to this list.

The harbor freight jacks frequently break, but you should never trust your life to any jack. The Harbor Freight jack stands seem to be as reliable as anything from your local auto parts store.


Himalayan Freight jack stands are actually quite good. Jacks are a whole other ball game.
 
2012-08-01 11:56:04 AM  

Mirrorz: I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.


You make a valid point. Now, I don't know what to think.
 
2012-08-01 11:56:46 AM  
Why does the article focus so much on the girl knowing CPR and pretty much gloss over the girl throwing a car aspect?!?
 
2012-08-01 11:57:13 AM  
Good on her.

I'm a bit confused by the "she got his heart beating again" part though. CPR won't restart your heart. Well, okay, to be fair, it's just very, very, very unlikely to restart a heart. It would be cool if this super strong girl can also fire electric shocks from her fingers though!
 
2012-08-01 11:59:36 AM  
So. Bravissima to the physics major + lifeguard + superhumanly-strong daughter.

However, a word of advice to the old man: wheel chocks + more than one jack. I think it's pretty standard practice. Relying on a single point of failure to save your life, when a backup system is less than a hundred bucks, is idiotic.

i.verylol.com
 
2012-08-01 12:01:10 PM  

doublesecretprobation: they make 'em for a reason mate.


I'm disappointed this wasn't the Boobies. I worked in a shop where I was safety supervisor. Seeing one of my guys working on an improperly supported machine never failed to evoke a stern ass chewing.
 
2012-08-01 12:03:59 PM  
Was this article written by a five year old?
 
2012-08-01 12:05:12 PM  

kingoomieiii: violent explosion of feces from your body is


Haha, that's funny. Err, I mean, don't take shiat from him brap! Ban him!
 
2012-08-01 12:06:43 PM  

SmackLT: Way to pay attention, Jack, you slippery-fingered assknuckle


www.thetypingchimps.com

What can I say? I've got butterfingers.
 
2012-08-01 12:06:51 PM  
My mom and brother swear I lifted a car up on one side when I was EIGHT to get out of trouble. I don't remember it.
 
2012-08-01 12:10:15 PM  

doublesecretprobation: [www.bendpak.com image 349x349]

they make 'em for a reason mate.


He was working on his BMW. He probably thought it would levitate itself on a cloud of fairydust and smug.
 
2012-08-01 12:10:39 PM  

ghare: My mom and brother swear I lifted a car up on one side when I was EIGHT to get out of trouble. I don't remember it.


You probably also forgot about your terrible two's when you turned all green & bloated during those destructive tantrums.
 
2012-08-01 12:11:09 PM  

brap: That's awesome. Amazing what we can do under great amounts of stress. Take me for example, when faced with incredible danger and insurmountable odds I am almost superhuman in my ability to flee like a cheetah with my arms waving in the air, screaming like a little girl.


Rincewind?
 
2012-08-01 12:13:15 PM  
Taa Daaa?
 
2012-08-01 12:14:29 PM  
The 22-year-old just graduated from Mary Washington with a physics degree....

So did she use science to lift the car up?
 
2012-08-01 12:15:47 PM  
quite well done, and awesome.

however, quote from article: ". He gave her life and then he gave her life"

uh, what? I think I get what they meant but did the reporter not check for grammar before they posted this?
 
2012-08-01 12:15:59 PM  
why do jacks seem to always fail on the wrong fathers?
I've never see a catholic priest change their own oil but there's always that chance
 
2012-08-01 12:21:11 PM  
Get that woman a costume and make her a superhero, STAT!
 
2012-08-01 12:24:23 PM  
Probably used this kind of jack:
img507.imageshack.us
 
2012-08-01 12:24:48 PM  
+1 on the "use jack stands, jack offs."

If my ass is getting underneath the vehicle, it had better have some reason support under it.
 
2012-08-01 12:25:15 PM  

kingoomieiii: brap: That's awesome. Amazing what we can do under great amounts of stress. Take me for example, when faced with incredible danger and insurmountable odds I am almost superhuman in my ability to flee like a cheetah with my arms waving in the air, screaming like a little girl.

The violent explosion of feces from your body is a very effective predator deterrent.


Vomiting works too.

www.moviesonline.ca

/ or at least it does for the condor
 
2012-08-01 12:25:49 PM  

akula: it had better have some reason support under it.


Dammit, that should say "real support."
 
2012-08-01 12:26:49 PM  

ExcaliburPrime111: "She got his heart beating again and got him breathing again," said Liz. "So, she's it. He gave her life and then he gave her life. I am in awe of her. I am in awe of her. She is the day. She saved the day. I can't even tell you how proud I am of her."


Well, that's pretty damn refreshing.
/not thanking God for something that your daughter did.
 
2012-08-01 12:27:01 PM  
Lauren Kornacki : lifeguard; hottie. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters her body chemistry. And now when Lauren grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The creature is driven by rage and pursued by an investigative reporter. The creature is wanted for a murder she didn't commit. Lauren Kornacki is believed to be dead, and she must let the world think that she is dead, until she can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within her.

*dramatic music*
 
2012-08-01 12:28:33 PM  

mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.


This. Some Farker had posted in a thread about making his own ramps from 2x4's and plywood. I think $25 for Rhino Ramps is worth the $20 premium over a homebrew setup.

Mirrorz: I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.


True to a point, but he owns an older BMW (not newer than 2007 for sure) so he's likely less concerned about having the latest and greatest. Those people tend to do dealer maintenance exclusively, because they cycle through their leases every 3 years. Hell, I did my own maintenance when I had a 328is. CSB, the nut on top of the oil filter canister is some ridiculous size, which requires you to buy a $10 socket from Autozone if you don't want to use an adjustable wrench.
 
2012-08-01 12:29:07 PM  
I call bullshiat. No douchebag BMW driver works on (or knows how to) his own car.

/ maybe he dropped his iPhone 7 under the car and was trying to retrieve it
 
2012-08-01 12:29:21 PM  
On the one hand, awesome daughter. On the other hand, BMW owner. I can't help but think the car was trying to do the world a favor.
 
2012-08-01 12:29:31 PM  

farkingatwork: quite well done, and awesome.

however, quote from article: ". He gave her life and then he gave her life"

uh, what? I think I get what they meant but did the reporter not check for grammar before they posted this?


They mean that he caused her to have life by fathering her and then he killed her.
 
2012-08-01 12:36:22 PM  

Mirrorz: I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.


You obviously don't know the few, the proud, the actual car guys who do know that a Bimmer is truly the Ultimate Driving Machine, not just a status symbol for rich assholes.
 
2012-08-01 12:37:18 PM  

doublesecretprobation: [www.bendpak.com image 349x349]

they make 'em for a reason mate.


This is so important!
NEVER lift the car without them.

Just NEVER.
And buy a decent jack.
 
2012-08-01 12:37:19 PM  
I know this is Fark and you all are cracking jokes about why the guy's car fell on him-it was an accident, they happen-but this story is pretty amazing.
 
2012-08-01 12:38:52 PM  

LumberJack: Mirrorz: I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.

You obviously don't know the few, the proud, the actual car guys who do know that a Bimmer is truly the Ultimate Driving Machine, not just a status symbol for rich assholes.


That and simply everyone should spend THIRTY to FORTY THOUSNAD DOLLARS for a ride.
Everyone!

/what? well, why not?
 
2012-08-01 12:38:57 PM  

SlothB77: ahh, i see subby is referring to texan hot, not british hot.


She has good teeth, so that's obvious.
 
2012-08-01 12:42:26 PM  
Hot chick as described by Farker?

/I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
 
2012-08-01 12:42:49 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.

This. Some Farker had posted in a thread about making his own ramps from 2x4's and plywood. I think $25 for Rhino Ramps is worth the $20 premium over a homebrew setup.

Mirrorz: I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.

True to a point, but he owns an older BMW (not newer than 2007 for sure) so he's likely less concerned about having the latest and greatest. Those people tend to do dealer maintenance exclusively, because they cycle through their leases every 3 years. Hell, I did my own maintenance when I had a 328is. CSB, the nut on top of the oil filter canister is some ridiculous size, which requires you to buy a $10 socket from Autozone if you don't want to use an adjustable wrench.


1. I have ramps built out of stacked, treated lumber 2x8s. I trust them over any ramp where there's any gap of material under the tire cradle.

2. The nut on the oil filter canister isn't just a 17mm any more? Is on my '85
 
2012-08-01 12:43:05 PM  

Zizzowop: I know this is Fark and you all are cracking jokes about why the guy's car fell on him-it was an accident, they happen-but this story is pretty amazing.


Since I was a combat medic in the Nam, I am getting a kick out of,,,
That is actually somewhat tame for a truly juiced up human.
What amazes me is that the bones usually hold up.
I have seen some chit done by the amazing human body.
 
2012-08-01 12:45:00 PM  

mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.


I've got a pair of jack stands from Big Lots, they work just fine when placed properly. Matter of fact, I think I got my floor jack there too..
 
2012-08-01 12:46:06 PM  

snocone: LumberJack: Mirrorz: I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.

You obviously don't know the few, the proud, the actual car guys who do know that a Bimmer is truly the Ultimate Driving Machine, not just a status symbol for rich assholes.

That and simply everyone should spend THIRTY to FORTY THOUSNAD DOLLARS for a ride.
Everyone!

/what? well, why not?


If you have the money for a newer used BMW, spend $30-$40K. Otherwise, there are plenty of older ones that are a lot less expensive. Again, a diehard car guy goes old and does a lot of maintenance themselves. I only wish an '88 M5 in good shape didn't still go for $15K+
 
2012-08-01 12:46:56 PM  

brap: That's awesome. Amazing what we can do under great amounts of stress. Take me for example, when faced with incredible danger and insurmountable odds I am almost superhuman in my ability to flee like a cheetah with my arms waving in the air, screaming like a little girl.


I think I love you, sir/madam.

/Nohomo
 
2012-08-01 12:48:34 PM  
When some eight-foot-long BMW grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the asphalt road, and he looks ya crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, well you just stare that big sucker right back in the headlight, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yes Sir, the check is in the mail."
 
2012-08-01 12:49:42 PM  
Representing my alma mater. Looks like she was a soccer/field hockey/lax player.
 
2012-08-01 12:51:23 PM  

theunblinkingeye: Was this article written by a five year old?


Aren't they all?
 
2012-08-01 12:51:30 PM  

LumberJack:
1. I have ramps built out of stacked, treated lumber 2x8s. I trust them over any ramp where there's any gap of material under the tire cradle.


I'm loving your username right now. I'm not as confident in my carpentry abilities. lol The Rhino Ramps are like a honeycomb structure on the underside, never had a problem with them and they're rated for 2000# ea if I remember correctly.

2. The nut on the oil filter canister isn't just a 17mm any more? Is on my '85

Not on the E34's....36mm!
 
2012-08-01 12:53:35 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: CSB, the nut on top of the oil filter canister is some ridiculous size, which requires you to buy a $10 socket from Autozone


I don't buy tools from Autozone.
They are made out of the same compressed brake dust and butter that most of their parts are made from.

They might be a slight step above tools from Harbor Break so I'll give them that much.
 
2012-08-01 12:54:08 PM  
This article makes me mad. I was this close ' ' to finally never clicking on a 'hot' link again. Now my faith in Fark is restored, which means another 5 years of being hot rolled on Fark.
 
2012-08-01 12:56:24 PM  
All Q had to do was change the gravitational constant of the universe.
/Looks like John de Lancie is all I'm saying
 
2012-08-01 01:02:51 PM  
I just can't let it pass....... Good on her for a truly amazing feat. She absolutely attains badass status.

HOWEVER.

She did NOT lift and/or throw 3000lbs of car. She rebalanced an off-balance car from the absolute best-case, lightest-weight scenario in which it could be, the engine being on the other side of the balance beam already. As for "throwing", he either had it on another jack/jack stand, which acted to lever it over and away once she knocked that one off balance, or something else was at play which won't come out because it doesn't make for as good of a story. You simply don't throw even one end of a 5-series away from you, I don't care how hulked-out you are in the moment.
 
2012-08-01 01:04:56 PM  

RedT: Mirrorz: I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.

You make a valid point. Now, I don't know what to think.


Maybe it was the mother's car and he was planting a bomb in it.
 
2012-08-01 01:06:07 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: LumberJack:
1. I have ramps built out of stacked, treated lumber 2x8s. I trust them over any ramp where there's any gap of material under the tire cradle.

I'm loving your username right now. I'm not as confident in my carpentry abilities. lol The Rhino Ramps are like a honeycomb structure on the underside, never had a problem with them and they're rated for 2000# ea if I remember correctly.

2. The nut on the oil filter canister isn't just a 17mm any more? Is on my '85

Not on the E34's....36mm!


You had me at "E34". If you're female, I want you. In any case, glad to still see some real Bimwads around.
 
2012-08-01 01:06:37 PM  
The kind of Jack I'd like to see crushed under a car:

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-01 01:09:20 PM  
Virginia? BMW? I thought hillbillies drove pickups.
 
2012-08-01 01:10:33 PM  

adeist69: mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.

I've got a pair of jack stands from Big Lots, they work just fine when placed properly. Matter of fact, I think I got my floor jack there too..


You are gonna die. But hey, you saved $10!
 
2012-08-01 01:11:24 PM  

LumberJack: I just can't let it pass....... Good on her for a truly amazing feat. She absolutely attains badass status.

HOWEVER.

She did NOT lift and/or throw 3000lbs of car. She rebalanced an off-balance car from the absolute best-case, lightest-weight scenario in which it could be, the engine being on the other side of the balance beam already. As for "throwing", he either had it on another jack/jack stand, which acted to lever it over and away once she knocked that one off balance, or something else was at play which won't come out because it doesn't make for as good of a story. You simply don't throw even one end of a 5-series away from you, I don't care how hulked-out you are in the moment.


Thank you, I was looking for someone to make this very point. And since BMW's make a pretty good 50/50 front/rear balance, she's squatting many hundreds of lbs. sure, and without good body posture she'll hurt herself real bad, to be discovered after the fact. Heroic, but not the car-flinger the news would have us believe.
 
2012-08-01 01:12:30 PM  

sweet-daddy-2: Virginia? BMW? I thought hillbillies drove pickups.


Glen Allen, suburb of Richmond, probably a plantation owner.
 
2012-08-01 01:20:06 PM  

StrikitRich: The 22-year-old just graduated from Mary Washington with a physics degree....

So did she use science to lift the car up?


25.media.tumblr.com

She must have been some sort of Girl Genius.
 
2012-08-01 01:22:34 PM  

LumberJack: I just can't let it pass....... Good on her for a truly amazing feat. She absolutely attains badass status.

HOWEVER.

She did NOT lift and/or throw 3000lbs of car. She rebalanced an off-balance car from the absolute best-case, lightest-weight scenario in which it could be, the engine being on the other side of the balance beam already. As for "throwing", he either had it on another jack/jack stand, which acted to lever it over and away once she knocked that one off balance, or something else was at play which won't come out because it doesn't make for as good of a story. You simply don't throw even one end of a 5-series away from you, I don't care how hulked-out you are in the moment.


When my wife and I drove out to washington state, we pulled into a gas station to fill up. There was a woman in a station wagon in front of us who was letting one of her daughters (age 10 maybe) pump gas while she and the other kids stayed inside the car. The daughter finished up, and was getting back into the car when the fool mother started driving away and drove onto the girl's foot.

The girl started screaming... the kids in the back of the car started screaming, and the mom in the driver's seat just started looking around like an idiot trying to figure out what everyone was screaming about.

There was a motorcyclist on the opposite side of the pumps. He ran over to the rear bumper and lifted the station wagon into the air. I don't mean the whole car, but the tire which had the girl pinned came off the ground. Once she was free he set it back down, got on his bike, and rode off.

You're under no obligation to believe some random guy on the internet, but I've seen something similar to this article first hand (and it was bizarre).
 
2012-08-01 01:24:11 PM  
I did this once.

But I'm 6'5" 300lbs. And it was a Geo Metro. And it wasn't my dad, it was my buddy who got his hand trapped between the fender and the tire when the car rolled off the jack and the tire came off.

But I totally did this.

For several weeks my buddies would say "Jack not name, Jack job!" When they saw me.
 
2012-08-01 01:26:04 PM  
I wonder if he was using the BMW jack, that thing is a piece of shiat.
 
2012-08-01 01:27:40 PM  
FIRST of all: NOT HOT.

SECOND: She just made out WITH HER DAD!!!

/shudder
 
2012-08-01 01:31:09 PM  

sweet-daddy-2: Virginia? BMW? I thought hillbillies drove pickups.


You're thinking of West Virginia.
 
2012-08-01 01:36:08 PM  

mr_bunny: Never buy your vehicle support devices at Dollar General or Big Lots.

Just don't.


or harbor freight or walmart
 
2012-08-01 01:38:40 PM  

brap: That's awesome. Amazing what we can do under great amounts of stress. Take me for example, when faced with incredible danger and insurmountable odds I am almost superhuman in my ability to flee like a cheetah with my arms waving in the air, screaming like a little girl.


Me too, this ^...I'm a flight responder. In my defense though, I would use a minute to take those who are dumbstruck with me while running away.
 
2012-08-01 01:38:51 PM  
UMW represent!

/class of '07
 
2012-08-01 01:41:20 PM  
Any time I'm under the car I use two jacks and two jack stands. Getting crushed isn't cool.
 
2012-08-01 01:43:11 PM  
You guys keep making Hulk references. You've got the wrong superhero:

images4.wikia.nocookie.net

/Hot, and sadly pretty old.
 
2012-08-01 01:44:05 PM  

LumberJack: Mirrorz: I call BS.
No BMW owner is going to do any kind of vehicle maintenance. They'll take it to the dealer.

You obviously don't know the few, the proud, the actual car guys who do know that a Bimmer is truly the Ultimate Driving Machine, not just a status symbol for rich assholes.


i like those sort of guys, they were always cool when i was a corner worker

/at a local racetrack
//mind you my current gig involves sales, so there is that too
 
2012-08-01 01:46:35 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: LumberJack:
1. I have ramps built out of stacked, treated lumber 2x8s. I trust them over any ramp where there's any gap of material under the tire cradle.

I'm loving your username right now. I'm not as confident in my carpentry abilities. lol The Rhino Ramps are like a honeycomb structure on the underside, never had a problem with them and they're rated for 2000# ea if I remember correctly.

2. The nut on the oil filter canister isn't just a 17mm any more? Is on my '85

Not on the E34's....36mm!


All the M54 engines (E36, E46, E60, E83, E85 with Flat 6s) have a massive 32mm socket.

www.bmwblog.com
 
2012-08-01 01:53:57 PM  

Mirrorz:
I don't buy tools from Autozone.
They are made out of the same compressed brake dust and butter that most of their parts are made from.

They might be a slight step above tools from Harbor Break so I'll give them that much.


It was actually O'Reilly but I didn't feel like looking up how to spell it. lol Anyhow, a socket used to turn an oil canister lid isn't going to be put under too much stress.

LumberJack:
You had me at "E34". If you're female, I want you. In any case, glad to still see some real Bimwads around.


Yeah, I meant E36 and I'm a dude. ;)

Gr8Zen:
All the M54 engines (E36, E46, E60, E83, E85 with Flat 6s) have a massive 32mm socket.

[www.bmwblog.com image 315x237]


Yah, site I did the quick lookup on said 36mm for some reason. You are correct, it's a 32mm.
 
2012-08-01 01:54:00 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: sweet-daddy-2: Virginia? BMW? I thought hillbillies drove pickups.

You're thinking of West Virginia.


Being from Texas ,everyone East of the Mississippi is a hillbilly.Or a stump-jump'n coonass.
 
2012-08-01 02:04:14 PM  

doublesecretprobation: [www.bendpak.com image 349x349]

they make 'em for a reason mate.



Yeah, about that. Good luck finding any new jackstands that aren't made in China from some kind of crappy ass pot metal. I have had two different jackstands fail on me - 1 sheared a tooth off and dropped all the way down somehow and the base frame on another just sort of folded up under itself while I was under car. And no, I wasn't pushing the rated limits or misusing them.

Went on Craigslist and found some old NAPA ones, Made in USA.

The Chicom and her American enablers can kiss my ass.
 
2012-08-01 02:20:53 PM  

Kiwimann: LumberJack: I just can't let it pass....... Good on her for a truly amazing feat. She absolutely attains badass status.

HOWEVER.

She did NOT lift and/or throw 3000lbs of car. She rebalanced an off-balance car from the absolute best-case, lightest-weight scenario in which it could be, the engine being on the other side of the balance beam already. As for "throwing", he either had it on another jack/jack stand, which acted to lever it over and away once she knocked that one off balance, or something else was at play which won't come out because it doesn't make for as good of a story. You simply don't throw even one end of a 5-series away from you, I don't care how hulked-out you are in the moment.

When my wife and I drove out to washington state, we pulled into a gas station to fill up. There was a woman in a station wagon in front of us who was letting one of her daughters (age 10 maybe) pump gas while she and the other kids stayed inside the car. The daughter finished up, and was getting back into the car when the fool mother started driving away and drove onto the girl's foot.

The girl started screaming... the kids in the back of the car started screaming, and the mom in the driver's seat just started looking around like an idiot trying to figure out what everyone was screaming about.

There was a motorcyclist on the opposite side of the pumps. He ran over to the rear bumper and lifted the station wagon into the air. I don't mean the whole car, but the tire which had the girl pinned came off the ground. Once she was free he set it back down, got on his bike, and rode off.

You're under no obligation to believe some random guy on the internet, but I've seen something similar to this article first hand (and it was bizarre).


Damn! I hope he didn't give himself a hernia doing a good deed, but it would be worth it.
 
2012-08-01 02:23:55 PM  

chevydeuce: Cool for the girl and all....but really, the dad deserved to die for being a dumbass...use stands asshole!


If people in America deserved to die for being a dumbass the US population drop from 300 million to 75 million.
 
2012-08-01 02:37:08 PM  
LOLBMWHATE
 
2012-08-01 03:12:58 PM  
Smoky Dragon Dish: [static03.mediaite.com image 622x324]

Death by SNU SNU
 
2012-08-01 03:25:27 PM  
Did an image search for Lauren and found her Twitter account?
She's not hot. She ain't ugly.
My friend would say her WVI is pretty high.

/WVI, you ask? West Virginia Index.
//Evidently i have dated a few white chicks he claims he wouldn't touch.
///He lies.
 
2012-08-01 04:08:31 PM  

nyseattitude: chevydeuce: Cool for the girl and all....but really, the dad deserved to die for being a dumbass...use stands asshole!

If people in America deserved to die for being a dumbass the US population drop from 300 million to 75 million.


I don't know....might solve a LOT of issues.
 
2012-08-01 04:20:47 PM  

LumberJack: You obviously don't know the few, the proud, the actual car guys who do know that a Bimmer is truly the Ultimate Driving Machine, not just a status symbol for rich assholes.


I drove an '82 528E for six years. I replaced the speedo, the sunroof motor, the rear lock actuators and added some gauges all by my lonesome. Sometimes people drive Beemers because they like the way they drive.

But, as others have said, never buy them new.
 
2012-08-01 04:37:44 PM  

theorellior: I drove an '82 528E for six years. I replaced the speedo, the sunroof motor, the rear lock actuators and added some gauges all by my lonesome. Sometimes people drive Beeimmers because they like the way they drive.

But, as others have said, never buy them new.


FTFY
 
2012-08-01 04:37:59 PM  

antidisestablishmentarianism: THIS. And I throw a wheel under the car (on it's side) for an extra degree of protection.


Seriously. AND after I have the car jacked I kick it in a couple of different directions to make sure the jack is stable. If it wobbles much, FARK that I'm not going under.

Although I usually don't have a hottie that can lift a car off me around.
 
2012-08-01 04:42:06 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: theorellior: I drove an '82 528E for six years. I replaced the speedo, the sunroof motor, the rear lock actuators and added some gauges all by my lonesome. Sometimes people drive Beeimmers because they like the way they drive.

But, as others have said, never buy them new.

FTFY


THANK YOU!
 
2012-08-01 05:16:25 PM  

Gr8Zen: IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: LumberJack:
1. I have ramps built out of stacked, treated lumber 2x8s. I trust them over any ramp where there's any gap of material under the tire cradle.

I'm loving your username right now. I'm not as confident in my carpentry abilities. lol The Rhino Ramps are like a honeycomb structure on the underside, never had a problem with them and they're rated for 2000# ea if I remember correctly.

2. The nut on the oil filter canister isn't just a 17mm any more? Is on my '85

Not on the E34's....36mm!

All the M54 engines (E36, E46, E60, E83, E85 with Flat 6s) have a massive 32mm socket.

[www.bmwblog.com image 315x237]


Meh, 32mm socket is $7.91 from Sears.
 
2012-08-01 05:37:50 PM  

Falcon_Rogue: Gr8Zen: IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: LumberJack:
1. I have ramps built out of stacked, treated lumber 2x8s. I trust them over any ramp where there's any gap of material under the tire cradle.

I'm loving your username right now. I'm not as confident in my carpentry abilities. lol The Rhino Ramps are like a honeycomb structure on the underside, never had a problem with them and they're rated for 2000# ea if I remember correctly.

2. The nut on the oil filter canister isn't just a 17mm any more? Is on my '85

Not on the E34's....36mm!

All the M54 engines (E36, E46, E60, E83, E85 with Flat 6s) have a massive 32mm socket.

[www.bmwblog.com image 315x237]

Meh, 32mm socket is $7.91 from Sears.


@IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T
Whoops! I think it is 36mm. I did the same thing you did, except the number I looked up was wrong... not yours. Meh, maybe I'll just check when I get home.

@Falcon_Rogue
That Craftsman socket is exactly the socket that I have (in 36mm)... and it's stripping my Oil Filter Housing Cover ($33.95 for Genuine BMW from bavauto.com) little by little because it's like a 5000 point socket. Bavauto has a fancy-pants 17mm to 36mm adapter for the old schoolers who love 17mm. I really should go buy a 6-point 36mm to 3/8" drive because my torque wrench is 3/8" drive.

www.bavauto.com
 
2012-08-01 06:01:20 PM  
What kind of idot can afford a beemer and be too cheap to get proper ramps and/or heavy-duty jacks for working on it?
 
2012-08-01 07:17:08 PM  
Bruce Banner is not amused.
 
2012-08-01 07:54:59 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: FTFY


LumberJack: THANK YOU!


I've always hear it said "Beemer". "Bimmer" sounds dumb. It's "Bee Em Double-You" not "Bih Em Double-You". And in German it's "Bay Em Vay". Or "Bring Mich zum Werkhaus" if you want to get snarky. : P
 
2012-08-01 09:07:04 PM  
I am Jack's chest cavity. When I am crushed, several vital organs fails and Jack dies a painful, agonizing death.
 
2012-08-01 10:29:02 PM  
I would SO hit that.

DNRTFA, don't need to... just a statistical certainty
 
2012-08-01 10:47:46 PM  
Was a weird boner involved? Oh wait -- this is just VIRGINIA, not West Pennsyltucky.
 
2012-08-01 11:25:47 PM  
IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: FTFY

LumberJack: THANK YOU!

theorellior: I've always hear it said "Beemer". "Bimmer" sounds dumb. It's "Bee Em Double-You" not "Bih Em Double-You". And in German it's "Bay Em Vay". Or "Bring Mich zum Werkhaus" if you want to get snarky. : P

Well, I'm here to tell you that you've always heard it wrong. I will not deny that I am implying that most people are wrong. I gave up trying to correct the masses long ago because it's futile, but you went and called me out on it personally, so here we are.

As a point of fact, a "Bimmer" is a BMW automobile while a "Beemer" or "Beamer" is a BMW Motorcycle. Go ahead, Google it. Anyone who has ever been a member of the BMW Car Club of America should be able to tell you the same. And don't get all snooty about there being a BMW Car Club, just about every manufacturer out there has one.

One nice thing about it is that it makes it handy for determining who actually knows what they're talking about.

You're not a BMW enthusiast? Fine. Go back to your Hi-yun-die or 4.9-liter Mustang or whatever the hell it is you drive and take note that I don't particularly care what you think sounds dumb. It doesn't make you any less wrong.
 
2012-08-02 12:24:05 AM  
Speaking of jacks slipping, so are you guys...

farm1.staticflickr.com

/bonus: pastor's last name is bates
 
2012-08-02 11:18:12 AM  

Gr8Zen: Falcon_Rogue: Gr8Zen: IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: LumberJack:
1. I have ramps built out of stacked, treated lumber 2x8s. I trust them over any ramp where there's any gap of material under the tire cradle.

I'm loving your username right now. I'm not as confident in my carpentry abilities. lol The Rhino Ramps are like a honeycomb structure on the underside, never had a problem with them and they're rated for 2000# ea if I remember correctly.

2. The nut on the oil filter canister isn't just a 17mm any more? Is on my '85

Not on the E34's....36mm!

All the M54 engines (E36, E46, E60, E83, E85 with Flat 6s) have a massive 32mm socket.

[www.bmwblog.com image 315x237]

Meh, 32mm socket is $7.91 from Sears.

@IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T
Whoops! I think it is 36mm. I did the same thing you did, except the number I looked up was wrong... not yours. Meh, maybe I'll just check when I get home.

@Falcon_Rogue
That Craftsman socket is exactly the socket that I have (in 36mm)... and it's stripping my Oil Filter Housing Cover ($33.95 for Genuine BMW from bavauto.com) little by little because it's like a 5000 point socket. Bavauto has a fancy-pants 17mm to 36mm adapter for the old schoolers who love 17mm. I really should go buy a 6-point 36mm to 3/8" drive because my torque wrench is 3/8" drive.

[www.bavauto.com image 500x438]


Include a socket in the purchase agreement, if you professional BMW Racing guys don't already have one.
sheesh,
 
2012-08-02 11:19:58 AM  

Bacontastesgood: antidisestablishmentarianism: THIS. And I throw a wheel under the car (on it's side) for an extra degree of protection.

Seriously. AND after I have the car jacked I kick it in a couple of different directions to make sure the jack is stable. If it wobbles much, FARK that I'm not going under.

Although I usually don't have a hottie that can lift a car off me around.


Lesson;
Next time, send the hottie under the car.
 
2012-08-02 12:16:04 PM  

LumberJack: IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: FTFY

LumberJack: THANK YOU!

theorellior: I've always hear it said "Beemer". "Bimmer" sounds dumb. It's "Bee Em Double-You" not "Bih Em Double-You". And in German it's "Bay Em Vay". Or "Bring Mich zum Werkhaus" if you want to get snarky. : P

Well, I'm here to tell you that you've always heard it wrong. I will not deny that I am implying that most people are wrong. I gave up trying to correct the masses long ago because it's futile, but you went and called me out on it personally, so here we are.

As a point of fact, a "Bimmer" is a BMW automobile while a "Beemer" or "Beamer" is a BMW Motorcycle. Go ahead, Google it. Anyone who has ever been a member of the BMW Car Club of America should be able to tell you the same. And don't get all snooty about there being a BMW Car Club, just about every manufacturer out there has one.

One nice thing about it is that it makes it handy for determining who actually knows what they're talking about.

You're not a BMW enthusiast? Fine. Go back to your Hi-yun-die or 4.9-liter Mustang or whatever the hell it is you drive and take note that I don't particularly care what you think sounds dumb. It doesn't make you any less wrong.


For instance:
Bimmer Forums
John's Beemer Garage
 
2012-08-02 01:08:52 PM  

snocone:
Include a socket in the purchase agreement, if you professional BMW Racing guys don't already have one.
sheesh,


Changing an oil filter by yourself = Professional BMW Racer

Got it.

My point was that even something as mundane as an oil filter canister lid requires a "special" part.
 
2012-08-02 02:01:07 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: snocone:
Include a socket in the purchase agreement, if you professional BMW Racing guys don't already have one.
sheesh,

Changing an oil filter by yourself = Professional BMW Racer

Got it.

My point was that even something as mundane as an oil filter canister lid requires a "special" part.


That is what they teach/require of engineers these days.
More money spent engineering "can't do it yourself" than durability/reliability these days.
And buying and adoring their crap does not help.
 
2012-08-02 04:31:18 PM  

snocone: That is what they teach/require of engineers these days.
More money spent engineering "can't do it yourself" than durability/reliability these days.
And buying and adoring their crap does not help.


Afraid that seems to be the case for a lot of vehicles nowadays....between packaging concerns and safety regulations, it seems to get more difficult each year. Hell, my wife's American-made SUV requires you to pull a tire and an inner fender liner to replace a farking headlight bulb! Thank FSM it was under warranty, GM got to eat the ~1.5 hrs of labor on that thing....all for a $10 part.

FWIW, my next vehicle will be pre-'72, which means just some vacuum lines and maybe AIR injection. ;)
 
2012-08-02 05:16:58 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: snocone: That is what they teach/require of engineers these days.
More money spent engineering "can't do it yourself" than durability/reliability these days.
And buying and adoring their crap does not help.

Afraid that seems to be the case for a lot of vehicles nowadays....between packaging concerns and safety regulations, it seems to get more difficult each year. Hell, my wife's American-made SUV requires you to pull a tire and an inner fender liner to replace a farking headlight bulb! Thank FSM it was under warranty, GM got to eat the ~1.5 hrs of labor on that thing....all for a $10 part.

FWIW, my next vehicle will be pre-'72, which means just some vacuum lines and maybe AIR injection. ;)


Pre 1968 to avoid the air injection.
 
2012-08-02 05:19:22 PM  

snocone:

Pre 1968 to avoid the air injection.


Yeah, but I'm still considering stuff from the early 70's too. Like, a '70 'Cuda if I become really wealthy or something. lol
 
2012-08-02 10:25:50 PM  

Alleyoop: Speaking of jacks slipping, so are you guys...

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 326x396]

/bonus: pastor's last name is bates


When he was growing up, in his rich parents' mansion, they had a stodgy old English butler who referred to him as "the young Master Bates".
 
2012-08-02 11:48:25 PM  

LumberJack: You're not a BMW enthusiast? Fine. Go back to your Hi-yun-die or 4.9-liter Mustang or whatever the hell it is you drive and take note that I don't particularly care what you think sounds dumb. It doesn't make you any less wrong.


Hey, thanks for being such an asshole to someone who already mentioned that he had a '82 528e for six years that he worked on himself. I'm happy that you can feel so smug about yourself that you can piss on everyone from your high horse. Thanks for being the shiathead that everyone thinks of when they think of BWM owners.
 
2012-08-03 09:43:14 AM  

theorellior: LumberJack: You're not a BMW enthusiast? Fine. Go back to your Hi-yun-die or 4.9-liter Mustang or whatever the hell it is you drive and take note that I don't particularly care what you think sounds dumb. It doesn't make you any less wrong.

Hey, thanks for being such an asshole to someone who already mentioned that he had a '82 528e for six years that he worked on himself. I'm happy that you can feel so smug about yourself that you can piss on everyone from your high horse. Thanks for being the shiathead that everyone thinks of when they think of BWM owners.


I, for one, am delighted that fools are buying new cars for 30, 40, 50, 60 THOUSAND DOLLARS and breaking them in for people like me who might buy them in 10-15 years.
Sure, it would be better if they fed the poor or built safe water wells, but,,,
 
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