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(WSBTV)   Police chief asked to serve himself his own eviction notice. So he does what any reasonable person would do: claims that he cannot locate himself at his address   (wsbtv.com) divider line 50
    More: Silly, police chiefs, reasonable person, Channel 2 Action News, administrative law judge, DeKalb County Deputy Marshal, pay per clicks  
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10271 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2012 at 1:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-01 11:19:46 AM
amayberrystateofmind.com
 
2012-08-01 01:15:17 PM
Dave's not here.
 
2012-08-01 01:15:23 PM
This just proves 1 thing:

It's a damn good thing Drew Peterson did not take on his own case.
 
2012-08-01 01:17:20 PM
Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.
 
2012-08-01 01:19:56 PM
FTA: Varnum fought the revocation saying he treated his own eviction notice like all of the others.

That's when it stopped being funny for me. If you're going to push that hard to be able to bend the rules in your favor, then you don't belong in a position of power. Time to admit defeat.
 
2012-08-01 01:20:27 PM
familyguycutaways.com

Nno, no. Superman no here.
 
2012-08-01 01:20:59 PM
Duh, he needs to spend a summer backpacking around Europe before he'll be able to find himself.
 
2012-08-01 01:21:01 PM

rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.


I don't know whether to click "Smart or Funny" for this so you're getting BOTH!!!
 
2012-08-01 01:21:55 PM

rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.


And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.
 
2012-08-01 01:22:45 PM

cretinbob: [amayberrystateofmind.com image 335x350]



amayberrystateofmind.com
Now wait a cotton-picking minute!
The Sheriff has sent me to his house
seven times to see if he was there
and he never was.

Who the Hell is that man his wife is
sleeping with, then?
 
2012-08-01 01:25:33 PM
When did the Romneybot receive police powers?
 
2012-08-01 01:26:45 PM

schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.


Well not if he had voicemail.Then he could leave a message for himself! But I'm guessing he would never get a call back.
 
2012-08-01 01:31:45 PM

teeny: FTA: Varnum fought the revocation saying he treated his own eviction notice like all of the others.

That's when it stopped being funny for me. If you're going to push that hard to be able to bend the rules in your favor, then you don't belong in a position of power. Time to admit defeat.


Actually, it sounds like there was a legal loophole that made those notices undeliverable, and he applied the letter of the law equally. Now, the question is, were he not facing eviction himself, would he still have refused to deliver those notices? We can't know that, of course.
On the other hand, whether he treated his own like the others or not isn't the point. Also, the person that gave him the stack should be on the hook for collusion.
 
2012-08-01 01:32:05 PM
The system embiggened the photo I stole from cretinbob for some reason.

Sorry to those of you who are using 24K modems.

While you are waiting, here's an alternative caption:

Now wait a cotton-picking minute! The Sheriff has sent me to his house seven times to see if he was there, and he never was.

Who the Hell is that naked man I arrested in his bedroom, then?


This version is a bit more subtle, and should be funnier as a consequence.
 
2012-08-01 01:35:40 PM

danielscissorhands: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

Well not if he had voicemail.Then he could leave a message for himself! But I'm guessing he would never get a call back.


LOL yeah, I'm feeling the paradox here. I mean, what if his duties involved arresting himself, while following procedure? He could handcuff himself and lock himself in the back of his car, but would be unable to drive himself to the station. But no, it wouldn't get that far. If he drew his gun to effect an arrest of himself, then the "suspect" had a gun and wouldn't comply with instructions put it down, therefore he'd have to use deadly force and shoot himself.
 
2012-08-01 01:39:24 PM
Can we bulldoze the city of Lithonia and start over?

/great Fark fodder from this town though
 
2012-08-01 01:39:33 PM

rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.


This is dangerously close to dividing by zero. Please be more careful!
 
2012-08-01 01:40:11 PM

Oznog: danielscissorhands: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

Well not if he had voicemail.Then he could leave a message for himself! But I'm guessing he would never get a call back.

LOL yeah, I'm feeling the paradox here. I mean, what if his duties involved arresting himself, while following procedure? He could handcuff himself and lock himself in the back of his car, but would be unable to drive himself to the station. But no, it wouldn't get that far. If he drew his gun to effect an arrest of himself, then the "suspect" had a gun and wouldn't comply with instructions put it down, therefore he'd have to use deadly force and shoot himself.


bios.weddingbee.com
 
2012-08-01 01:40:45 PM
I use the same strategy when the bill collectors and IRS show up.

\works every time.....eh, losers
 
2012-08-01 01:44:30 PM
Why are they serving a stack of notices to many renters at once? Is the building being razed? Are half of the occupants delinquent? Did they throw a noisy party?
 
2012-08-01 01:45:35 PM

Oznog: danielscissorhands: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

Well not if he had voicemail.Then he could leave a message for himself! But I'm guessing he would never get a call back.

LOL yeah, I'm feeling the paradox here. I mean, what if his duties involved arresting himself, while following procedure? He could handcuff himself and lock himself in the back of his car, but would be unable to drive himself to the station. But no, it wouldn't get that far. If he drew his gun to effect an arrest of himself, then the "suspect" had a gun and wouldn't comply with instructions put it down, therefore he'd have to use deadly force and shoot himself.


These instructions belong in the bad cop manual.
 
2012-08-01 01:45:45 PM

schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.


If he had call waiting, it might not ring busy, but if he answered the incoming call he wouldn't be able to find out who was calling.
 
2012-08-01 01:46:08 PM
FTA: "Varnum fought the revocation saying he treated his own eviction notice like all of the others. He resigned from the marshal's office while under investigation on charges of neglect of duty, falsifying a document and unbecoming conduct.

Months later, the Lithonia Police Department hired him anyway, and then promoted him to chief. The case has been on appeal for more than a year and a half."

Whoa, hold on, he got hired on as Chief AFTER this incident was uncovered?!??!?
 
2012-08-01 01:47:56 PM

rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.


I find your commenting amusing.

By the way, human cloning would solve the above problem. The cop would be able to find himself on the other side of the door and make an arrest. Problem solved.
 
2012-08-01 01:52:06 PM
To Protect and Self-Serve!
 
2012-08-01 01:52:11 PM

Nothing To See Here: Dave's not here.


Done in two.
 
2012-08-01 01:56:29 PM
Is this the "one bad apple"?
 
2012-08-01 02:04:19 PM
Two things.
One, this guy should be fired and charged criminally for filing false documents.
Two, this guy is a hero who had the opportunity to do something stupidly awesome. Or awesomely stupid.
 
2012-08-01 02:06:31 PM

Oznog: danielscissorhands: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

Well not if he had voicemail.Then he could leave a message for himself! But I'm guessing he would never get a call back.

LOL yeah, I'm feeling the paradox here. I mean, what if his duties involved arresting himself, while following procedure? He could handcuff himself and lock himself in the back of his car, but would be unable to drive himself to the station. But no, it wouldn't get that far. If he drew his gun to effect an arrest of himself, then the "suspect" had a gun and wouldn't comply with instructions put it down, therefore he'd have to use deadly force and shoot himself.


"Hello, 911? Yes, there's a man outside dressed as a police officer who has been tazing himself for the last hour and a half."
 
2012-08-01 02:06:33 PM
www.emptynestonline.net
 
2012-08-01 02:09:33 PM

rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.


Exactly, "I rang the doorbell, but I wasn't home to answer it."
 
2012-08-01 02:10:36 PM
Also, when he went home that night could be charged with entereing a suspect's residence without a warrant?
 
2012-08-01 02:10:49 PM

Oznog: danielscissorhands: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

Well not if he had voicemail.Then he could leave a message for himself! But I'm guessing he would never get a call back.

LOL yeah, I'm feeling the paradox here. I mean, what if his duties involved arresting himself, while following procedure? He could handcuff himself and lock himself in the back of his car, but would be unable to drive himself to the station. But no, it wouldn't get that far. If he drew his gun to effect an arrest of himself, then the "suspect" had a gun and wouldn't comply with instructions put it down, therefore he'd have to use deadly force and shoot himself.


let's just not bring up his miranda rights
 
2012-08-01 02:13:32 PM

rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.


He could open the door halfway, and stand facing the edge of it. Then the side of his body on the exterior part of the door could knock on it. His hand on the interior part could pull it back a little. Then he could transfer the notice from the exterior-side hand to the interior-side one.

Of course, he'd have to find the place first, and that wouldn't be possible since the apartments aren't marked sufficiently, so his argument is valid.

But seriously, the story doesn't say if he ended up getting evicted or not. Inquiring minds want to know.
 
2012-08-01 02:24:28 PM
How can you tell if a cop's dirty?

He's in uniform.
 
2012-08-01 02:27:11 PM
I'd like to know why he was being evicted. Wasn't he able to afford the rent on his salary? Or are they converting to condominiums or something else?
 
2012-08-01 02:28:26 PM

ProfessorOhki: Oznog: danielscissorhands: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

Well not if he had voicemail.Then he could leave a message for himself! But I'm guessing he would never get a call back.

LOL yeah, I'm feeling the paradox here. I mean, what if his duties involved arresting himself, while following procedure? He could handcuff himself and lock himself in the back of his car, but would be unable to drive himself to the station. But no, it wouldn't get that far. If he drew his gun to effect an arrest of himself, then the "suspect" had a gun and wouldn't comply with instructions put it down, therefore he'd have to use deadly force and shoot himself.

"Hello, 911? Yes, there's a man outside dressed as a police officer who has been tazing himself for the last hour and a half."


STOP RESISTING!
 
2012-08-01 02:37:41 PM
His brilliant plan was foiled when he planted evidence on himself.
 
2012-08-01 02:43:53 PM
Well at least they didn't ask him to cut his own head off.

/in the first place, self decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt; and, in the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a capital offence.
 
2012-08-01 02:49:36 PM
You'd think a police chief, even in a small town, would be able to afford his own house. There is something incredibly undignified about a police chief living in an apartment complex.
 
2012-08-01 03:10:24 PM

Ashtrey: Also, when he went home that night could be charged with entereing a suspect's residence without a warrant?


No, because he'd be entering with the suspect's permission while off duty.
 
2012-08-01 03:18:51 PM

MindStalker: FTA: "Varnum fought the revocation saying he treated his own eviction notice like all of the others. He resigned from the marshal's office while under investigation on charges of neglect of duty, falsifying a document and unbecoming conduct.

Months later, the Lithonia Police Department hired him anyway, and then promoted him to chief. The case has been on appeal for more than a year and a half."

Whoa, hold on, he got hired on as Chief AFTER this incident was uncovered?!??!?


POST had revoked his certification and he was also facing those additional charges. Despite that, he was hired and became chief??? I'm wondering what qualifications the runner-up had. Was the #2 guy unable to fog a mirror?
 
2012-08-01 03:38:17 PM
obligatory:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cop-kills-own-partner-vows-to-track- s elf-down,20234/
 
2012-08-01 04:03:35 PM
He should have called out the SWAT team to kick the door in shoot the dog and trash the place to find clues of his location.
 
2012-08-01 05:15:36 PM

danielscissorhands: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

Well not if he had voicemail.Then he could leave a message for himself! But I'm guessing he would never get a call back.


Talk about phone tag.
 
2012-08-01 07:22:30 PM

brantgoose: cretinbob: [amayberrystateofmind.com image 335x350]


[amayberrystateofmind.com image 675x693]
Now wait a cotton-picking minute!
The Sheriff has sent me to his house
seven times to see if he was there
and he never was.

Who the Hell is that man his wife is
sleeping with, then?


You did what I did, and made it better

theykid.com
 
2012-08-01 08:05:25 PM

WelldeadLink: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

If he had call waiting, it might not ring busy, but if he answered the incoming call he wouldn't be able to find out who was calling.


What if he had call forwarding to the phone he's calling from?
 
2012-08-01 08:16:17 PM

Tumunga: WelldeadLink: schattenteufel: rdyb: Well, to his credit, it's not like he's going to be inside to answer the door when he's standing outside knocking on it.

And if he tried to call himself, it would always ring busy.

If he had call waiting, it might not ring busy, but if he answered the incoming call he wouldn't be able to find out who was calling.

What if he had call forwarding to the phone he's calling from?


It would go to voicemail because the phone was in use. After he hung up, he'd return the officer's call, but that would go to voicemail. After he hung up, he'd return the evictee's call, but that would go to voicemail. After he hung up...
 
2012-08-01 10:25:21 PM
I, for one, support this officer in his efforts.
 
2012-08-02 02:58:19 AM
So, who's the mental giant who decided to go ahead and hire this guy and who decided to promote him to chief? I hope it's the same person, because I hate the idea that there are two people this monumentally stupid in the same community.

/I know an arsonist if Lithonia needs a fire chief.
 
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