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(NBC News)   Al-Qaida running out of volunteers for the number 2 position   (worldnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 65
    More: Obvious, National Counterterrorism Center, al-Qaeda, Kurdistan Workers' Party, Maghreb, FARC, tank truck, Boko Haram, Abbottabad  
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6168 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2012 at 9:38 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-01 09:40:33 AM
To be fair, it is a number two job.
 
2012-08-01 09:40:47 AM
images.tvrage.com
Number 1, I order you to go take a number 2.
 
2012-08-01 09:41:57 AM
Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.
 
2012-08-01 09:42:39 AM
But who will the US use to BOOGA-BOOGA scare the general populace into "BUY MOAR STUFF, FOLLOW YOUR LEADERS"?
 
2012-08-01 09:43:52 AM
Ah a new number two eh?

www.bookmice.net
 
2012-08-01 09:44:18 AM
Should follow the local Video Store ads.

Now Hiring Managers! Al-Qaida continues to grow and has excellent management opportunities for you. If you are an idealist, strong in the Muslim faith and can take a bullet, Al-Qaida wants to talk to you. We offer paid days off, explosive vest clothing allowance and excellent survivor benefits! We'll be conducting interviews this week at the Airport Ramada (Ramadan hours). Must bring photo ID and proof of dedication to the Islamic Way.
 
2012-08-01 09:45:05 AM

Smoking GNU: But who will the US use to BOOGA-BOOGA scare the general populace into "BUY MOAR STUFF, FOLLOW YOUR LEADERS"?


Has it not occured to you that people like to "buy stuff". You know, without needing to be indoctrinated. Have you ever lived in an environment where one cannot? Communist Russia? Feudal Europe? African dictatorships? Thought not.
 
2012-08-01 09:45:13 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-01 09:47:31 AM

THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.


Climatologists are already on the US Government payroll, so that would be awkward. They're not paid to find that nothing is wrong, after all!
 
2012-08-01 09:47:58 AM

THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.


You're terrible at this.
 
2012-08-01 09:48:00 AM

THE GREAT NAME: Smoking GNU: But who will the US use to BOOGA-BOOGA scare the general populace into "BUY MOAR STUFF, FOLLOW YOUR LEADERS"?

Has it not occured to you that people like to "buy stuff". You know, without needing to be indoctrinated. Have you ever lived in an environment where one cannot? Communist Russia? Feudal Europe? African dictatorships? Thought not.


I live in africa, genius.
 
2012-08-01 09:51:41 AM

Smoking GNU: THE GREAT NAME: Smoking GNU: But who will the US use to BOOGA-BOOGA scare the general populace into "BUY MOAR STUFF, FOLLOW YOUR LEADERS"?

Has it not occured to you that people like to "buy stuff". You know, without needing to be indoctrinated. Have you ever lived in an environment where one cannot? Communist Russia? Feudal Europe? African dictatorships? Thought not.

I live in africa, genius.


And yet, for some reason, I can kind of tell that you can "buy stuff" whenever you want. Amirite? It's only others sho should not in your philosophy.
 
2012-08-01 09:51:55 AM

Smoking GNU: THE GREAT NAME: Smoking GNU: But who will the US use to BOOGA-BOOGA scare the general populace into "BUY MOAR STUFF, FOLLOW YOUR LEADERS"?

Has it not occured to you that people like to "buy stuff". You know, without needing to be indoctrinated. Have you ever lived in an environment where one cannot? Communist Russia? Feudal Europe? African dictatorships? Thought not.

I live in africa, genius.


You in Nigeria? Where's my money?
 
2012-08-01 09:53:12 AM

HotWingConspiracy: THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.

You're terrible at this.


You know perfectly well that I'm very, very good at this. Now go whining to the mods.
 
2012-08-01 09:57:57 AM
Well, al-Quaida will ALWAYS be Number Two to me!
 
2012-08-01 09:58:56 AM

THE GREAT NAME: HotWingConspiracy: THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.

You're terrible at this.

You know perfectly well that I'm very, very good at this


CLIMATOLOGISTS HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

You're really bringing the thunder.
 
2012-08-01 09:59:33 AM

THE GREAT NAME: You know perfectly well that I'm very, very good at this. Now go whining to the mods.


Someone please do this is turning into your typical thread derailment boring horseshiattery.
 
2012-08-01 09:59:36 AM
And then everything went sideways and I couldn't tell which way was up or down.
 
2012-08-01 09:59:50 AM
Wouldn't it be more efficient to just kill the number 1 guy every time? There would have to be more positional changes in their orginization that way.
 
2012-08-01 10:00:20 AM
Great! So that means we can start winding down this perpetual war on terror bullshiat then, right? Right?

/crickets
 
2012-08-01 10:01:09 AM

THE GREAT NAME: HotWingConspiracy: THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.

You're terrible at this.

You know perfectly well that I'm very, very good at this. Now go whining to the mods.


Its almost as if you are trying to communicate with us in some way. I think that if we can somehow fix all the non-sentences, subject-verb disagreements, and bad tensing we might be able to translate what you are typing into something that is roughly analogous to primitive speech.
 
2012-08-01 10:01:29 AM

THE GREAT NAME: HotWingConspiracy: THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.

You're terrible at this.

You know perfectly well that I'm very, very good at this. Now go whining to the mods.


No, as off topic trolls go, that's pretty awful.
 
2012-08-01 10:01:46 AM
Time to bring our drones back home and put them to work in traffic enforcement and crowd control.
 
2012-08-01 10:03:21 AM
Anyway back to the article, nice to see FARC back in the news I've missed our tourist kidnapping/drug trading/assassinating antics, who are we hitting next?
 
2012-08-01 10:04:11 AM
If Al Qaida disappears, there will just be another organization there for extremists and wanna be terrorists to join. Kinda like how Egypt threw out their repressive government... and now they have a different repressive government.
 
2012-08-01 10:05:20 AM
By now; this is how choosing the number 2 in Al Queda works.

Terrorist 1: Ok, who wants to be number 2 this week?

Terrorist 2: I was number 2 last week, make salim do it.

Terrorist 1: No way! Salim owes me 2 camels. Let's make one of the new guys do it.

Terrorist 2: I agree; let allah be praised

...Some time later

New guy: I am most honored to take this opertunity; let us battle the great Satan! ....Does anyone else hear a strange whistling sound; kind of like when wily e. coyote falls off of a cliff
 
2012-08-01 10:06:36 AM

Itstoearly: If Al Qaida disappears, there will just be another organization there for extremists and wanna be terrorists to join


That's true, but none of those organizations have anything close to the coordination and reach that Al Q had at its height.

They're stuck being local yokels blowing up their hosts.
 
2012-08-01 10:06:37 AM
The report included a statistical annex prepared by the National Counterterrorism Center (NCTC) that showed the overall number of terrorist attacks worldwide fell to 10,283 last year from 11,641 in 2010.

What in the god damned hell does that even mean? Do you only count reports from particularly reliable reporting parties? Are you comparing the same areas to the same areas as last year?
 
2012-08-01 10:06:54 AM

Itstoearly: If Al Qaida disappears, there will just be another organization there for extremists and wanna be terrorists to join. Kinda like how Egypt threw out their repressive government... and now they have a different repressive government.


That's basically what i asked/said.

It's sad/frightening how predictable these things are.
 
2012-08-01 10:07:25 AM

Devolving_Spud: Well, al-Quaida will ALWAYS be Number Two to me!


It's just one more religion. Mankind's greatest affliction.
 
2012-08-01 10:07:34 AM

HotWingConspiracy: CLIMATOLOGISTS HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


Libs always take what others say and then re-iterate in a way that suggests extreme retardation. For example, "Derp" or as we see here, "HURRR[etc]". Maybe Freud would say that there is some deep-seated issue here about intelligence. Perhaps libs are so exhausted from trying to appear intellectual in order to gain access to the privileged existence to which they feel entitled, that they have to have some sprt of release.

In effect, HWC is saying, "If only the people who do not share my opinion were all derps - then I could gain intellectual dominion over them, and become their King, and consume the fruit of their labourings and the pleasures of the womenfolk would be mine for the choosing etc etc".
 
2012-08-01 10:09:33 AM
The problem is that most of the people who would want the job are true believers -- and those are the people who would fail at such a job. Guess what? You're imaginary superhero friend isn't going to sweep in and save you from a bullet, just like the last 10 guys who had your job.

What you need are manipulative types who know how to use the true believers, but secretly beat off to porn, smoke pot, and eat at Pizza Hut.
 
2012-08-01 10:12:16 AM

Smoking GNU: Itstoearly: If Al Qaida disappears, there will just be another organization there for extremists and wanna be terrorists to join. Kinda like how Egypt threw out their repressive government... and now they have a different repressive government.

That's basically what i asked/said.

It's sad/frightening how predictable these things are.


The people get the government they deserve. In a place like Afghanistan that means Islamic extremists. I'm betting al-quaeda is just waiting for the USA to go home before they come out of the caves and start over again. The whole thing about the Afghan's being able to keep al-quaeda in check by themselves is a fantasy.
 
2012-08-01 10:13:40 AM

Forced Perspective: THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.

Climatologists are already on the US Government payroll, so that would be awkward. They're not paid to find that nothing is wrong, after all!


Hey!, Just like Al-Quida.
 
2012-08-01 10:14:04 AM
So Al Qaida is having a problem conjuring up a number 2. Sounds like they need more fiber in their diet.
 
2012-08-01 10:14:20 AM

THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.


No.
 
2012-08-01 10:14:24 AM

Joce678: Smoking GNU: Itstoearly: If Al Qaida disappears, there will just be another organization there for extremists and wanna be terrorists to join. Kinda like how Egypt threw out their repressive government... and now they have a different repressive government.

That's basically what i asked/said.

It's sad/frightening how predictable these things are.

The people get the government they deserve. In a place like Afghanistan that means Islamic extremists. I'm betting al-quaeda is just waiting for the USA to go home before they come out of the caves and start over again. The whole thing about the Afghan's being able to keep al-quaeda in check by themselves is a fantasy.


The Taliban were their hosts though, and depending on what/who you believe, they have mostly decided that was a disaster that they would rather not repeat.
 
2012-08-01 10:16:28 AM
The whole point of terrorist groups like Al Qaida is that they individual terrorist cells can work independently and remain underground until they decide to become activated. The goals of the group are still clear, so it doesn't matter that there are deaths at the top of the leadership stack. The individual cells don't need the leadership stack to operate.

Anyone who thinks we're anywhere close to the end of the War On Terror is sadly deluded. If anything, the likelihood of attacks is rising, and worse, the randomness of the attacks makes the impending attacks more likely to hit the heartland of the country and or necessarily a major city. Now is the time to redouble our efforts to seek out and eliminate these threats within our country.
 
2012-08-01 10:16:51 AM
The more shocking thing is that morans here don't realize the difference between Al Qaeda in Iraq and Al Qaeda. We have only killed 2 #2s in Al Qaeda over the past 11 years. Mohammed Otef (died in 2001) and now Atiyah Abd al-Rahman, who became #2 after Zawahiri's promotion. Al Qaeda in Iraq has had many #2s die, but not Al Qaeda.
 
2012-08-01 10:16:53 AM

Deep Contact: Forced Perspective: THE GREAT NAME: Why don't they hire some climatologists? The shared hatred of western society, freedom, progress and democracy would make them a shoe-in. Climatologists demolished the scientific process just as surely as Al-Quida demolished WTC.

Climatologists are already on the US Government payroll, so that would be awkward. They're not paid to find that nothing is wrong, after all!

Hey!, Just like Al-Quida.


You're thinking of the muslin bruddahood
 
2012-08-01 10:21:29 AM

machoprogrammer: morans here don't realize the difference between Al Qaeda in Iraq and Al Qaeda.


Splitters!
 
2012-08-01 10:23:40 AM

Smoking GNU: THE GREAT NAME: Smoking GNU: But who will the US use to BOOGA-BOOGA scare the general populace into "BUY MOAR STUFF, FOLLOW YOUR LEADERS"?

Has it not occured to you that people like to "buy stuff". You know, without needing to be indoctrinated. Have you ever lived in an environment where one cannot? Communist Russia? Feudal Europe? African dictatorships? Thought not.

I live in africa, genius.


"Oh snap!"
 
2012-08-01 10:31:06 AM
Fellow African here tuning in to let you know that Smoking_Gnu is indeed from this continent
 
2012-08-01 10:34:00 AM
snakkle.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2012-08-01 10:37:18 AM
Election year propaganda to show that Barack Obama is a gooderer Prez than Geo. W Bush. If Mitt Romney wins, we will suddenly have to go after an whole bunch of new number 2s.
 
2012-08-01 10:45:35 AM
Does al-Qaida have any number twos that look like this (NSFW)?
 
2012-08-01 10:47:41 AM
Funny, you'd think the TSA alone would be touted as evidence they were mildly effective. Maybe if their idea of healthcare was more than "here, strap this device to your chest". Or maybe if they weren't bug-farking nuts.
 
2012-08-01 10:56:42 AM
I can think of some volunteers I'd like to see......

www.shifted2u.com
 
2012-08-01 10:58:51 AM

HotWingConspiracy: CLIMATOLOGISTS HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

You're really bringing the thunder.


To be fair, climatologists are either all white trash women with big hair one step out of a trailer park, or gay men. Unless they specialize in nails, in which case they are Asian.
 
2012-08-01 11:08:05 AM

Smoking GNU: But who will the US use to BOOGA-BOOGA scare the general populace into "BUY MOAR STUFF, FOLLOW YOUR LEADERS"?


Yeah, because they just imagined Al Qaida into existence like all other phony baloney enemies of the state. We have met the enemy, and he is us.
 
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