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(FilmDrunk)   Twilight releases the most boring set of promotional stills in the history of man   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) divider line 68
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8026 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Jul 2012 at 8:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-31 04:58:32 PM
DON'T YOU WANT ME BABY? DON'T YOU WANT ME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
 
2012-07-31 05:09:50 PM
cdn.fd.uproxx.com

That cracked me up.
 
2012-07-31 05:31:52 PM
Maybe it's boring to you BUT ROBERT PATTERSON JUST HAD HIS HEART BROKEN - LET THE VAMPIRE ARMY GRIEVE IN PEACE!
 
2012-07-31 06:41:29 PM
I look at Taylor Lautner's picture, but all I see is an alpaca.
 
2012-07-31 06:50:26 PM

Walker: I look at Taylor Lautner's picture, but all I see is an alpaca.


This.

images.huffingtonpost.com
 
2012-07-31 07:23:04 PM
www.picshag.com
 
2012-07-31 07:26:43 PM
Wow, those are really terribly bland. The color correction in the eyes doesn't change the fact that it's just a bunch of pasty douchebags standing around looking disinterested and lame.

Hasen't their fan base moved on to the Hunger Games anyway?
 
2012-07-31 07:41:20 PM

Mugato: Hasen't their fan base moved on to the Hunger Games anyway?


Have you seen their fans? They don't look like they do a lot of moving.

www.inquisitr.com
 
2012-07-31 08:03:12 PM
img843.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-31 08:08:49 PM
hey, it's kris humphries and the boy from 'panic room"
 
2012-07-31 08:45:05 PM
Those images are almost as painfui to see as Twilight....at least the opening credits. The only way you can realistically watch more than that portion of the film is with some serious help that makes it damn entertaining.
 
2012-07-31 08:55:24 PM

DeltaPunch: [img843.imageshack.us image 496x336]


I give up.
 
2012-07-31 08:58:20 PM
I think I fell asleep half-way thru that slideshow...
 
2012-07-31 09:00:51 PM
I'm not watching an eleven picture slideshow of twilight promo material.
 
2012-07-31 09:03:58 PM

CavalierEternal: Have you seen their fans? They look like they do a lot of mooing.


I tightened that up for you.
 
2012-07-31 09:06:08 PM
letopusa.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-31 09:32:12 PM

CavalierEternal: Have you seen their fans? They don't look like they do a lot of moving.


I chanced across one of her youtube videos last week. I thought I'd take a minute to check it out and ended watching the whole 10 minutes. By the end of it I realized that my mouth was agape and my face was all scrunched up in utter disbelief. I know it's a cliche to say, "It's a train wreck that you can't avert your eyes from as it happens" but damn! DAMN!
 
2012-07-31 09:33:43 PM
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-31 09:36:53 PM
I bet you this chick gives killer headcdn.fd.uproxx.com
 
2012-07-31 09:38:21 PM

Honest Bender: DeltaPunch: [img843.imageshack.us image 496x336]

I give up.


the image on the right is clearly showing emotion
 
2012-07-31 09:41:32 PM

The_Cisco_Kid: Those images are almost as painfui to see as Twilight....at least the opening credits. The only way you can realistically watch more than that portion of the film is with some serious help that makes it damn entertaining.


Couldn't even do it with Rifftrax. The only way I'd do it is if Mike, Bill and Kevin were there next to me.
 
2012-07-31 09:42:32 PM

Aboleth: CavalierEternal: Have you seen their fans? They don't look like they do a lot of moving.

I chanced across one of her youtube videos last week. I thought I'd take a minute to check it out and ended watching the whole 10 minutes. By the end of it I realized that my mouth was agape and my face was all scrunched up in utter disbelief. I know it's a cliche to say, "It's a train wreck that you can't avert your eyes from as it happens" but damn! DAMN!


...yeah, made it 1:48. Off to drink and play minecraft.
 
2012-07-31 09:48:05 PM

Aboleth: CavalierEternal: Have you seen their fans? They don't look like they do a lot of moving.

I chanced across one of her youtube videos last week. I thought I'd take a minute to check it out and ended watching the whole 10 minutes. By the end of it I realized that my mouth was agape and my face was all scrunched up in utter disbelief. I know it's a cliche to say, "It's a train wreck that you can't avert your eyes from as it happens" but damn! DAMN!


OMFG!!! Now I know why the Aurora Shooter went nuts, he was sitting next to her during the Dark Knight Rises.

One good thing that came from watching that is that the trailer for BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD played as an intro ad. If nothing else, the music was great.
 
2012-07-31 09:49:44 PM
Correct Link Forgive me, Im working from my iPad.
 
2012-07-31 09:52:04 PM
George Hurrell is dead.
 
2012-07-31 09:57:13 PM
I know tone of the guys who does the marketing for these farking movies an he's so earnest about them like he's required to be and it's farking sad. God what a mournful farking movie franchise.
 
2012-07-31 09:59:18 PM
Those are some seriously ugly people.
 
2012-07-31 10:09:59 PM

Wingnutwillie: I bet you this chick gives killer head[cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 625x875]


Do you really want a vampire giving you head?
 
2012-07-31 10:10:14 PM
These are todays androgyne sex symbols. SMH.
 
2012-07-31 10:13:56 PM

Mugato: I know tone of the guys who does the marketing for these farking movies an he's so earnest about them like he's required to be and it's farking sad. God what a mournful farking movie franchise.


I worked for a company whose marketing arm got a contract for 5 Hour Energy ads. If you've seen the TV spots from the last couple of years, you've seen their work. 5 Hour Energy made it abundantly clear that not only did they want low production values, they wanted it to LOOK like it had low production values. I'm sure you remember classics like "Guy in cubicle tells you about 5 Hour Energy". My department was outsourced, so I'm not sure if they're responsible for the Cowboy that's been playing lately or not...
Anyway, the makers of these promotional stills might be under the same constraints. The producers, Stephanie Meyers, whoever, has stated that vampires all have to do the brooding sparkle, and the photographers aren't allowed to do anything interesting.
 
2012-07-31 10:32:02 PM
I'm curious to see how the whole "Kristen Stewart farked around on Rob" thing works into the promotion and merchandising for this movie. You just know that the money machine behind this saw that whole thing as a major blow to the Twilight "brand". I predict a more low key roll out and distribution, box office down noticeably, merchandising a bit more restrained and Stewart getting sued for damaging the brand with her off screen behavior.
 
2012-07-31 10:34:45 PM
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They lure you into a false sense of security being all cuddly and nice. They even make you think they glow in daylight!.

But then, just when you're most vulnerable...

2.bp.blogspot.com

Here's the truth about vampires.
 
2012-07-31 11:00:12 PM
F*cking Twitards.

You want to watch a good vampire movie? Watch the original "Fright Night".
 
2012-07-31 11:02:28 PM
I could care less about the series. I am just glad that young teens are interested in reading and reading doesn't automatically make you unpopular anymore. I guess I'm in the minority here.
 
2012-07-31 11:02:41 PM
Last year, I got in a huge argument about Twilight at work, where a MALE coworker proceeded to give me shiat for not liking the franchise. My standby answer is that I am Team Nosferatu. if they push, I say I like Nosferatu, Dracula 2000, hell I'm even down for Blade sometimes, and I play Vampire the Masquerade (children of Malkav represent). And he just stared at me in confusion.

Then vandalized all my frigging flip notebooks when I wasn't looking. Wrote "Twilight Rules" in sharpie all over my stuff. My work gloves too!

/spent the rest of that job wondering who took his man card
//I have some set still photography of Vincent Price
///Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine
 
2012-07-31 11:07:11 PM

4seasons85!: I could care less about the series. I am just glad that young teens are interested in reading and reading doesn't automatically make you unpopular anymore. I guess I'm in the minority here.


That was Harry Potter, not Twilight.
 
2012-07-31 11:08:07 PM
Boring stills, bland, generic-looking cast...I'd say I'm surprised, but...nah....

Now, for a little excitement for some of my fellow farkettes and farkers....

i23.photobucket.com

/helllllooooooo, Gerry
 
2012-07-31 11:08:41 PM
cdn.fd.uproxx.com

www.horrorphile.net
 
2012-07-31 11:12:10 PM

Wingnutwillie: I bet you this chick gives killer head[cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 625x875]


Don't talk about Ellen Page that way.
 
2012-07-31 11:47:00 PM

Wingnutwillie: I bet you this chick gives killer head[cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 625x875]


why is all their hair auburn
 
2012-07-31 11:48:50 PM

RoxtarRyan: The_Cisco_Kid: Those images are almost as painfui to see as Twilight....at least the opening credits. The only way you can realistically watch more than that portion of the film is with some serious help that makes it damn entertaining.

Couldn't even do it with Rifftrax. The only way I'd do it is if Mike, Bill and Kevin were there next to me.


It helps if you are drunk enough to make an usher shush you. Personal experience.
 
2012-08-01 12:08:31 AM
Holy Photoshop. What the fark. They all look like they're made out of plastic that's been in the sun too long.
 
2012-08-01 12:11:38 AM

Wingnutwillie: I bet you this chick gives killer head[cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 625x875]


Aah! Evil Harpo!
 
2012-08-01 12:17:40 AM

Aboleth: CavalierEternal: Have you seen their fans? They don't look like they do a lot of moving.

I chanced across one of her youtube videos last week. I thought I'd take a minute to check it out and ended watching the whole 10 minutes. By the end of it I realized that my mouth was agape and my face was all scrunched up in utter disbelief. I know it's a cliche to say, "It's a train wreck that you can't avert your eyes from as it happens" but damn! DAMN!


I made it slightly less than 4 minutes before I completely lost faith in humanity. The most horrifying thing about this video (the first, and hopefully only one I will ever see from this... Person) is not the amount of trainwreck that must be her existence, but the realization that there are probably millions of twilight fans exactly like her.

/you know it's bad when even the YouTube commentors are like "Damn. biatch be crazy."
 
2012-08-01 12:50:31 AM
My question is were these photos taken at Sears, JCPenney or GlamourShots at the mall?

/Could have at least sprung for Olan Mills
 
2012-08-01 12:52:59 AM
Are we absolutely sure these aren't just pictures taken from a wax museum?
 
2012-08-01 01:14:10 AM
Lord, these look like even less-interesting romance-novel covers. I'd choose the romance novel.
 
2012-08-01 01:21:38 AM
I liked the update:

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-08-01 01:28:15 AM

la_cyberchicana: I liked the update:

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 610x905]


I bet he wishes he hadn't turned her now!
 
2012-08-01 02:03:06 AM
Rifftrax: LINE!
 
2012-08-01 02:49:23 AM
....line?
 
2012-08-01 05:06:10 AM

RoxtarRyan: Aboleth: CavalierEternal: Have you seen their fans? They don't look like they do a lot of moving.

I chanced across one of her youtube videos last week. I thought I'd take a minute to check it out and ended watching the whole 10 minutes. By the end of it I realized that my mouth was agape and my face was all scrunched up in utter disbelief. I know it's a cliche to say, "It's a train wreck that you can't avert your eyes from as it happens" but damn! DAMN!

...yeah, made it 1:48. Off to drink and play minecraft.


You're stronger than I. I gave up around 0:45, when she started crying about how once she'd watched the trailer she'd never be able to watch it for the first time again. Less than a minute in and the video was making me legitimately depressed. Damn. What a sad sack of crazy.
 
2012-08-01 06:26:02 AM

Ringshadow: //I have some set still photography of Vincent Price///Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine


Ah, Vincent Price. One of the few actors who can make anything watchable simply by being in it. I might even give Twilight a chance had he been cast somewhere.


/the others I can think of offhand are John Astin, Brian Blessed and Alan Cumming
 
2012-08-01 06:26:14 AM
I like the rifftrax line about how their relationship is based on him not killing her, and how healthy that is. Damn. I just gotta go back and watch it again.
 
2012-08-01 07:30:23 AM

Gordon Bennett: Ringshadow: //I have some set still photography of Vincent Price///Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine

Ah, Vincent Price. One of the few actors who can make anything watchable simply by being in it. I might even give Twilight a chance had he been cast somewhere.


/the others I can think of offhand are John Astin, Brian Blessed and Alan Cumming


I actually met Vincent Price and got his autograph. He came to my town with the Oscar Wilde one-man play he was doing and I snuck backstage afterwards. I talked to him for a little while and got an autograph which I still have. Very nice man!

/CSB
 
2012-08-01 07:39:12 AM

Gordon Bennett: Ringshadow: //I have some set still photography of Vincent Price///Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine

Ah, Vincent Price. One of the few actors who can make anything watchable simply by being in it. I might even give Twilight a chance had he been cast somewhere.


/the others I can think of offhand are John Astin, Brian Blessed and Alan Cumming

img543.imageshack.us
REALLY?
 
2012-08-01 09:25:16 AM

The_Cisco_Kid: Those images are almost as painfui to see as Twilight....at least the opening credits. The only way you can realistically watch more than that portion of the film is with some serious help that makes it damn entertaining.


Love Rifftrax, but even they couldn't save it.
 
2012-08-01 09:51:16 AM

The_Sponge: F*cking Twitards.

You want to watch a good vampire movie? Watch the original "Fright Night".


Or Blacula!
 
2012-08-01 10:03:38 AM
The_Cisco_Kid: Those images are almost as painfui to see as Twilight....at least the opening credits. The only way you can realistically watch more than that portion of the film is with some serious help that makes it damn entertaining.

Love Rifftrax, but even they couldn't save it.


It worked for about 30min, but the first movie was so horrible it ended up being a drag even with Rifftrax.

I don't know if I fell asleep for 5 minutes or something during the movie, but it seemed like abour 2/3 through the movie, the whole movie totally changed and they were in a new location for some unknown reason doing unknown things. Such a bad, odd, boring movie.
 
2012-08-01 10:05:58 AM

Wingnutwillie: I bet you this chick gives killer head[cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 625x875]


Future "Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians" candidate.
 
2012-08-01 10:36:37 AM

CygnusDarius: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They lure you into a false sense of security being all cuddly and nice. They even make you think they glow in daylight!.

But then, just when you're most vulnerable...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x647]

Here's the truth about vampires.


Is that Queen Elizabeth I?
 
2012-08-01 11:18:10 AM
There are two redeeming features of twilight.

The first is that the actors all think it's a pathetic sack of shiat and openly mock it everywhere despite it being their ticket in.

The second is that it gave us 50 shades of grey, which, despite being fairly pathetic on its own, has opened suburban housewives to a wider world of sex and erotic things besides 'tab a slot b Monday night congugal missionary of 3 minutes of my man grunting in me' boring sex. It's not all anal fisting and tazers, but it's still an eye opening.
 
2012-08-01 12:35:03 PM
Those damn bronies are everywhere! Now releasing promotional stills of their favorite pony that... Oh, wrong Twilight.

Sorry.
 
2012-08-01 01:29:17 PM

kroonermanblack: The second is that it gave us 50 shades of grey


How does that work? The insufferable prick who I barely know who does marketing for Twilight says that 50 Shades of Grey is some sort of Twilight fanfic. Is that what it is? Because people can't shut up about it and I'm too lazy to look it up.
 
2012-08-01 07:45:22 PM

JerseyTim: [cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 600x732]

That cracked me up.


My god... I never realized they were one and the same. It's a shame that his starring in an excellent teen movie is now polluted by the fact that he also stars in Twilight
 
2012-08-01 07:52:43 PM
I'm really really really embarrassed to know this but... kristen stewart's eyes should be red, not yellow.

/off to drink away my shame
 
2012-08-01 11:49:06 PM

blueviking: Boring stills, bland, generic-looking cast...I'd say I'm surprised, but...nah....

Now, for a little excitement for some of my fellow farkettes and farkers....

[i23.photobucket.com image 500x300]

/helllllooooooo, Gerry


And now a belated post to say HELLO, Dracula 2000. LOTS of sexy men in that flick!

/Young Nathan Fillion? Yes. Oh yes.
//though the lead steals the show of course. nngh
 
2012-08-02 12:16:59 AM

Mugato: kroonermanblack: The second is that it gave us 50 shades of grey

How does that work? The insufferable prick who I barely know who does marketing for Twilight says that 50 Shades of Grey is some sort of Twilight fanfic. Is that what it is? Because people can't shut up about it and I'm too lazy to look it up.


Rough outline as I understand it: 50 shades was terrible fanfic written with main characters of twillight.

It was redone, and then published as an actual book (or three), with obvious copyright breaking things removed. That's why the character in 50 shades is essentially a retarded 12 year old realdoll with the vocabulary of a stunted german shepherd who's been eating chinese toys.

I haven't read the books, but may at some point. Same for Twillight. Just to see how bad bad really is. I highly recommend googling around for some of the wtf quote sites, because the writting is just god awful from what I've seen. Like, would shame the writers on a 'reallity' TV show.
 
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