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25238 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jul 2012 at 4:35 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-31 06:36:22 PM  
Never met a Jack Russell that wasn't psycho. If this JR mix was like them, there wouldn't have been a second date.

/which is how he should have handled it instead of trying to dominate the dog so bad she pees herself when he comes in the door
 
2012-07-31 06:37:29 PM  
My wife has a dog. He's a good dog; I actually don't mind him.
What I hate beyond anything though is the fact that we own him; the walls are covered with drool, the carpets are covered with hair, the baseboards are all chewed up, the car stinks.
What's the best way to convince her to get rid of it?
 
2012-07-31 06:38:37 PM  

spentmiles: I consider myself a catch. If you saw my checking account balance and the inside of my boxer-briefs, I think you'd agree. That being said, I don't put up with much when it comes to relationships. I started dating this woman I met at speed dating a few months ago. We went out a few times, always meeting in public before going back to my place, so I didn't know much about her home life. After my experience, I can add one more question to my screening e-mail: Do you have any pets?

This lady had a 180 pound Rottweiler. Mind you, she was 100 pounds, well maybe not that fat but definitely small. The first time I walked into her apartment, the dog comes tearing at me, snarling, slobbering, teeth snapping. I kicked it in the face which bought me enough time to get back out the door. I didn't want to go back in, but the woman demanded that I apologized to the dog whom she said I startled. I went in and the big Goliath was sitting there growling at me. I don't take shiat from dogs so I kicked it in the face again, knocking it unconscious. The woman lost her shiat and started bawling so I screamed at her to shut up and raised my open hand, which seemed to calm her down.

Then the dog came to and was instantly in attack mode. It lunged at my throat and latched onto my chin. I started uppercutting it as hard as I could in the gut. That wasn't working, so I reached down, grabbed its balls, and squeezed them as hard as I could. The dog let go of my face just long enough for me to spin kick it out the sliding glass door. It tumbled over the balcony, fell into the parking lot where it was crushed by an arriving garbage truck.

I told the woman, who was bawling about the dog and didn't seem to care that my head was nearly torn off, that I didn't want to see her anymore. Suddenly I was this big monster. Well, life's too short for bull crap, so I bid her good day.


9/10. Speechless! I have no speech.
 
2012-07-31 06:41:12 PM  

suthrnrunt: Jim_Callahan: TsarTom: Same kinda guy who would make the family dog ride cross-country in a crate strapped to a station wagon.

Serious response: you do realize that that's how one typically transports a dog for long trips, right? Stick them in a dog-crate, strap it to the top of the car or leave it in the bed, every couple hours stop at a rest stop so it can run around occasionally. Dogs never like this, but they like being left behind for a month or two at a time even less.

Less-serious response: so you're saying that the boyfriend is probably a secret millionaire that can buy you all the fancy horses and dogs you want? Sold.

suthrnrunt: Beeblebrox: I was attacked by a pitbull. (except for pitbulls) .

wonder which pitbull
[www.ywgrossman.com image 450x700]

A pure-bred pitbull is fairly distinctive, but a pitbull mix is damned near impossible to tell from the other parent's breed much of the time physically, while their innate behavior is different, frequently _extremely_ different. If you know something is a pitbull or mix, handling it is pretty easy, just be fairly reserved and make sure it sniffs you before you touch it and you don't make any sudden moves toward it for the first hour or so.

The problem with the breed is that, for instance, a pit-bull/Lab mix looks exactly like a young Lab and acts exactly like an adult pit bull. And once a Lab has sniffed you once or twice you can immediately start wrestling with it and it won't mind, whereas touching a pitbull too soon means a warning bite at best and the dog trying to take your face off if it's poorly trained and in a foul mood. You can see how this can go bad fast around, say, your neighbor's five-year-old that was raised by a nanny retriever.

/sigh gotta love those that miss the joke.


It has to be funny before you can call it a joke, you know.
 
2012-07-31 06:43:49 PM  

Nezorf: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Oneofthesedays: Agent Smiths Laugh: pounddawg: thisisyourbrainonFark: [memeblender.com image 500x765]

You do know that the dog is sitting in the cockpit of an airplane.

Dogs can't fly helicopters?

Well what about cats?

I've never seen a cat with wings or a propeller so I don't know.

Dammit, too slow.


[encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 267x189]
They are helicopters!


LOL, touche!
 
2012-07-31 06:44:34 PM  

pounddawg: You want to know who really loves you...

Lock your spouse in the trunk of one car and lock your dog in the trunk of the other.

Open them both after an hour...

who is the happiest to see you.


Meh, they've both been stuffed, so, kind of a tossup.
Did you know you can get those fake glass eyes in bulk?
Saves a bundle, let me tell you.
 
2012-07-31 06:48:55 PM  

Mimic_Octopus: uhhh, no. you idiots. fark her and the dog. I have never , never, never seen a female properly manage a dog. they refuse to discipline them and coddle them like babies. i bet this dog is a disobedient farking menace with separation anxiety because this biatch anthropomorphizes the shiat out of it.


0/10
 
2012-07-31 06:49:01 PM  

FatherDale: Never met a Jack Russell that wasn't psycho. If this JR mix was like them, there wouldn't have been a second date.

/which is how he should have handled it instead of trying to dominate the dog so bad she pees herself when he comes in the door


I have a Jack Russell mix which my wife adopted from a local shelter. He is pretty active and jumpy but hardly a psycho. However, I know what you are saying. When we got him he would bark at every living thing and was pretty aggressive. Not sure what the previous owners did to the little guy. But my wife has trained him since then and all he does these days is crouch under the hand of strangers so that they can pat him. So I guess its all about how you train your dog. The lady should share some blame for not handling the situation and letting it continue for such a long time.
 
2012-07-31 06:51:22 PM  

Molavian: Gunny Highway: I hate people who refer to their dogs as "kids" or treat them like people. They are pets. They can be an important part of your family but I would never choose a dog over a human.

/I realize I am in the minority

No, you're not. "Pet parents" have something wrong with them, and are broken human beings. I have two pet cats, and I care for them as pets, but I'd skin and cook both of them if it meant my child wouldn't go hungry.


I just read "One Second After" and started thinking about my cats. I quickly realized that I would be lucky to last three days.

Thinking about stockpiling a small stash of canned goods though...
 
2012-07-31 06:52:04 PM  

WhippingBoy: My wife has a dog. He's a good dog; I actually don't mind him.
What I hate beyond anything though is the fact that we own him; the walls are covered with drool, the carpets are covered with hair, the baseboards are all chewed up, the car stinks.
What's the best way to convince her to get rid of it?


1st thought is... so why did you marry her?

2nd thought is... you ever thought about maybe cleaning your house and car?
 
2012-07-31 06:52:59 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Nothing To See Here: [www.geekstir.com image 632x474]

Aww! That could be the sibling to my little girl. She's on her period now, leaving little red blotches everywhere she sits. My gf calls her the "bingo dotter."


Grab an old dead t-shirt. Cut a hole in it for the tail, wrap it around Dog like a diaper and use the tshirt-arms sleeves to tie it in place. BAM! doggie pad.
 
2012-07-31 06:53:06 PM  

Ambitwistor: TsarTom: Same kinda guy who would make the family dog ride cross-country in a crate strapped to a station wagon.

Or tied to the rear bumper.

[i45.tinypic.com image 640x360]


Poor little guy. Probably kept up with you for a mile or so.
 
2012-07-31 06:53:33 PM  
Yeah, I think I pretty much agree with everyone, although I'm not super fond of dogs. What this guy was doing to her dog was assholish. They never even address if the reason the dog was acting this way around him was because he was a total dick. Cause, I kinda get the feeling that might have been the problem.

General Rule: If someone is cruel to animals, they will be cruel to people.
 
2012-07-31 06:54:05 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Devo: IF she wanted to move beyond dating then the dog had to go. We found a nice home for the dog.

How long after that did you dump her?


His coupling lasted many days.
 
2012-07-31 06:54:52 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: My wife has a dog. He's a good dog; I actually don't mind him.
What I hate beyond anything though is the fact that we own him; the walls are covered with drool, the carpets are covered with hair, the baseboards are all chewed up, the car stinks.
What's the best way to convince her to get rid of it?

1st thought is... so why did you marry her?

2nd thought is... you ever thought about maybe cleaning your house and car?


1. I married her because I love her. She didn't have a dog when we were married, and I never grew up with dogs so I didn't know what to expect when she begged me to get a dog.
2. I spend half of my Saturdays cleaning up after the stupid thing. The problem is it's constantly drooling and shedding.
 
2012-07-31 06:55:23 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Nothing To See Here: [www.geekstir.com image 632x474]

Aww! That could be the sibling to my little girl. She's on her period now, leaving little red blotches everywhere she sits. My gf calls her the "bingo dotter."


Why the fu(k would anyone put up with this in their house???
 
2012-07-31 06:57:09 PM  

Egoy3k: My instinct is to blame the guy too but if a dog snapped at me and pissed itself regularly I would probably try to sequester it in the bathroom too.


That really is the best way to treat a behavioral problem in a creature you don't understand. LOCK IT UP.
 
2012-07-31 06:58:09 PM  

AllUpInYa: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Nothing To See Here: [www.geekstir.com image 632x474]

Aww! That could be the sibling to my little girl. She's on her period now, leaving little red blotches everywhere she sits. My gf calls her the "bingo dotter."

Why the fu(k would anyone put up with this in their house???


To quote a great man: "There's two types of people in this world: dog people and rational people."
 
2012-07-31 06:58:13 PM  

Molavian: Gunny Highway: I hate people who refer to their dogs as "kids" or treat them like people. They are pets. They can be an important part of your family but I would never choose a dog over a human.
/I realize I am in the minority

No, you're not. "Pet parents" have something wrong with them, and are broken human beings. I have two pet cats, and I care for them as pets, but I'd skin and cook both of them if it meant my child wouldn't go hungry.


"broken human beings?" WTF!?
How about if your neighbor's deathly-allergic child wanted to play in your house or yard?
(It's not so easy to make the call when it's not YOUR kid.)
How about if it was a total stranger who just kicked your cat on the sidewalk, claiming a deathly allergy?
(Are you going to concede the cat's life for a stranger's alleged sickness?)

Point is, there ARE grey areas and PLENTY of situations where the pet should have priority over a human.
Nothing is EVER black and white.
 
2012-07-31 06:59:55 PM  
Well, for me it's the cats. Growing up I had a stepmother who loved her cats a lot more than the 5 brats she got along with my Dad's music career and well-filled jeans. I was one of the brats. So this one day I was a junior in high school, and one of my classmates asked me if I was graduating early - we were in an AP science class at the time. Since my stepmother was such a coont, I spent a lot of time at school and did really well. Anyway so I got to thinking sure, I'll graduate early and leave home. I really wished I could take out a f*cking cat or two on the way out. Turns out, I had good luck.

We had this one cat named "Angel". Angel would get like all up in your face. I mean weird, nose-biting, sharpening her claws on your lap, weird goofy half-purring, creepy bad breath. Well, Angel had standard-issue intestines, so she didn't do very well with the needle and nylon thread I accidentally left dangling over the side of the chair back one morning. One down.

Couple days later, another cat called "Smokey" for some reason jumped in the dryer while my sister was loading curtains into it. He lasted about 12 minutes on High. Two down.

After 10 years of avoiding the back yard like the plague, "Sandy" for some unknown reason jumped onto the roof of the dual doghouse in the back yard where our Irish setter and German shepherd lived. Three down.

Lotus Esprit + "Misty" = four down.

A cat named "Pussums" startled me when I was tiptoeing through my bedroom at 3 AM. Well, I must admit I responded with a knee-jerk reaction instead of thinking, I kicked at the sound as hard as I could. It was Pussums, and she hit the ceiling so hard she died. I was scared my parents would find out and renege on my tuition payment, so I quickly buried her out back. Next morning though, I realized there was a shiatstain on the ceiling where she hit. That was going to be hard to explain. But anyway, two days later or so Pussums comes crawling in through the back door into the kitchen - she must have just been stunned when I buried her. Anyway, one of her eyes was cloudy, she had a bent back and a limp, and her fur was all tangled and patchy. The bad back was probably from where I pushed her down into the hole with my shoe. Anyway, when she tried to make a sound it was like a groan or a low howl but she would not let anyone touch her. I was glad when I went away to college a few days later and never saw her again.

So within a week five cats died and I have had a great life since then.
 
2012-07-31 07:00:17 PM  

InternetSecurityGuard: Love me, love my dog.

Link

There are some serious warning signs there.


What if I love your dog but I don't love you?

Srsly, your dog is a cutie :-)

Suzy, Beagle/ACD mix, has a trailer. Beagles aren't very good at running along side of bikes. They sniff ALL the things!

img845.imageshack.us

img801.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-31 07:01:30 PM  

WhippingBoy: Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: My wife has a dog. He's a good dog; I actually don't mind him.
What I hate beyond anything though is the fact that we own him; the walls are covered with drool, the carpets are covered with hair, the baseboards are all chewed up, the car stinks.
What's the best way to convince her to get rid of it?

1st thought is... so why did you marry her?

2nd thought is... you ever thought about maybe cleaning your house and car?

1. I married her because I love her. She didn't have a dog when we were married, and I never grew up with dogs so I didn't know what to expect when she begged me to get a dog.
2. I spend half of my Saturdays cleaning up after the stupid thing. The problem is it's constantly drooling and shedding.


You might want to consider talking to a veterinarian. Shedding can be decreased by regular brushing and bathing, and the drooling might be an indicator of a mouth or tooth problem. Baseboard/wall chewing is generally a sign of a bored dog.
 
2012-07-31 07:03:05 PM  
I wouldn't want to be with a woman who has a dog (or any animal) that acts in this manner. I'm not sure what the guy is thinking.

That said, my wife had four pets when I met her. I am not a pet person. If the cat is meowing and sitting on my face while I'm sleeping, I kick it out of the room. That doesn't prove I'm an asshole. It proves I want to get some damn sleep. My wife didn't freak out about this, and that is why we are together forever in holy matrimony. And, the cats and dog love me.

I think people who buy into the "Dogs have the intuition to know who the basically bad and basically good people are" are retarded. Our dog growls at teenage girls and no one else. Does that mean all teenage girls are asshole while the rest of us are okay?
 
2012-07-31 07:03:26 PM  

SchadenFraud: WhippingBoy: Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: My wife has a dog. He's a good dog; I actually don't mind him.
What I hate beyond anything though is the fact that we own him; the walls are covered with drool, the carpets are covered with hair, the baseboards are all chewed up, the car stinks.
What's the best way to convince her to get rid of it?

1st thought is... so why did you marry her?

2nd thought is... you ever thought about maybe cleaning your house and car?

1. I married her because I love her. She didn't have a dog when we were married, and I never grew up with dogs so I didn't know what to expect when she begged me to get a dog.
2. I spend half of my Saturdays cleaning up after the stupid thing. The problem is it's constantly drooling and shedding.

You might want to consider talking to a veterinarian. Shedding can be decreased by regular brushing and bathing, and the drooling might be an indicator of a mouth or tooth problem. Baseboard/wall chewing is generally a sign of a bored dog.


I think you're missing the point here...
 
2012-07-31 07:04:01 PM  

2 Replies: Molavian: Gunny Highway: I hate people who refer to their dogs as "kids" or treat them like people. They are pets. They can be an important part of your family but I would never choose a dog over a human.
/I realize I am in the minority

No, you're not. "Pet parents" have something wrong with them, and are broken human beings. I have two pet cats, and I care for them as pets, but I'd skin and cook both of them if it meant my child wouldn't go hungry.

"broken human beings?" WTF!?
How about if your neighbor's deathly-allergic child wanted to play in your house or yard?
(It's not so easy to make the call when it's not YOUR kid.)
How about if it was a total stranger who just kicked your cat on the sidewalk, claiming a deathly allergy?
(Are you going to concede the cat's life for a stranger's alleged sickness?)

Point is, there ARE grey areas and PLENTY of situations where the pet should have priority over a human.
Nothing is EVER black and white.


When it comes to life and death, it's team people, every time.

Also, is that a common thing you see happening? People with deathly allergies initiating contact with the thing they are allergic to?

Stupid scenario is stupid.
 
2012-07-31 07:05:19 PM  

gremlin1: Years ago I took in an abused stray dog,chihuahua/beagle mix.,She was terrified of men after I had her for about 6 months she would finally let men pet her but they were not allowed to pick her up. If I had to work on the weekends she went with me. One Saturday she was at the office with me and she was wandering around the dispatch office begging for treats from the truck drivers when one of our new drivers walked in. He had a very heavy Spanish accent and the dog went nuts. She was growling and snapping and just plain vicious. The guys were shocked and when I got into the dispatch office they wanted to know what I did with my dog because this one wasn't it. I managed to calm her down but every time the new guy started talking she starting going crazy again. Apparently she wasn't just abused by a guy but he also spoke Spanish. She never did warm up to the new guy.


I worked with an abused shelter dog, Roxy, who hated black people. Black men, in particular.

Damn racist dog. It was very odd having to warn potential owners and to ask black people not to pet her (she was crazy cute).
 
2012-07-31 07:06:19 PM  
I came for the Chevy Chase/Cop scene in Vacation and now leave completely satisified...

dump the dude.. I feel the same way about women that hate spiders/tarantulas.. if they can't handle knowing that there are big spiders in an enclosure compared to the brown recluses and black widows that run free around here.. she can GTFO.. :)

so far I haven't had a chance to test that..
 
2012-07-31 07:07:08 PM  

Jim_Callahan: TsarTom: Same kinda guy who would make the family dog ride cross-country in a crate strapped to a station wagon.

Serious response: you do realize that that's how one typically transports a dog for long trips, right? Stick them in a dog-crate, strap it to the top of the car or leave it in the bed, every couple hours stop at a rest stop so it can run around occasionally. Dogs never like this, but they like being left behind for a month or two at a time even less.

Less-serious response: so you're saying that the boyfriend is probably a secret millionaire that can buy you all the fancy horses and dogs you want? Sold.

suthrnrunt: Beeblebrox: I was attacked by a pitbull. (except for pitbulls) .

wonder which pitbull
[www.ywgrossman.com image 450x700]

A pure-bred pitbull is fairly distinctive, but a pitbull mix is damned near impossible to tell from the other parent's breed much of the time physically, while their innate behavior is different, frequently _extremely_ different. If you know something is a pitbull or mix, handling it is pretty easy, just be fairly reserved and make sure it sniffs you before you touch it and you don't make any sudden moves toward it for the first hour or so.

The problem with the breed is that, for instance, a pit-bull/Lab mix looks exactly like a young Lab and acts exactly like an adult pit bull. And once a Lab has sniffed you once or twice you can immediately start wrestling with it and it won't mind, whereas touching a pitbull too soon means a warning bite at best and the dog trying to take your face off if it's poorly trained and in a foul mood. You can see how this can go bad fast around, say, your neighbor's five-year-old that was raised by a nanny retriever.


I'm not certain you've ever met a pit bull...

Either that or you're trolling, in which case 9/10.

As for the girl...it's possible that this problem could be solved with some work on everyone's part at desensitizing the dog to the bf and teaching the bf the proper way to interact with the dog. My gut feeling is that he's an ass, she's an idiot and the poor dog is peeing herself with frustration at being stuck with them.
 
2012-07-31 07:08:02 PM  

The First Four Black Sabbath Albums:
Our dog growls at teenage girls and no one else. Does that mean all teenage girls are asshole while the rest of us are okay?


That's kind of a bad example...
 
2012-07-31 07:08:02 PM  
I dunno, dogs sometimes have weird reactions to people. I love animals and usually they love me back, but sometimes I'll come across a dog that just doesn't like me (and only me) for some odd reason. I always figure it had something to do with its history or whatever, but sometimes you just can't make any headway with certain dogs no matter how hard you try.
 
2012-07-31 07:08:24 PM  
Wow. Huge thread and very late to the party. My psycho tried to do this. Guess who's still next to me...?

Had my dog for 11 years, last few months of our realationship he kept trying to get me to get rid of him... "Just give him to your parents or one of your sisters, you can still see him!"

You're really so jealous and control denied that a DOG threatens you?!?

/Hmmm, threadjack... Link
 
2012-07-31 07:09:22 PM  
Wait wait. What's important is that this is a thread with PN and Spentmiles!
 
2012-07-31 07:11:36 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-31 07:11:43 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Well, for me it's the cats. ...


Best read I have had all day.
 
2012-07-31 07:12:33 PM  

FarkingReading: This. I can't stand dogs. I just don't like them and I have trouble understanding why people want smelly, yappy, expensive, time-consuming animals in their homes.


But your friends don't see you that way.
 
2012-07-31 07:12:57 PM  

WhippingBoy: SchadenFraud: WhippingBoy: Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: My wife has a dog. He's a good dog; I actually don't mind him.
What I hate beyond anything though is the fact that we own him; the walls are covered with drool, the carpets are covered with hair, the baseboards are all chewed up, the car stinks.
What's the best way to convince her to get rid of it?

1st thought is... so why did you marry her?

2nd thought is... you ever thought about maybe cleaning your house and car?

1. I married her because I love her. She didn't have a dog when we were married, and I never grew up with dogs so I didn't know what to expect when she begged me to get a dog.
2. I spend half of my Saturdays cleaning up after the stupid thing. The problem is it's constantly drooling and shedding.

You might want to consider talking to a veterinarian. Shedding can be decreased by regular brushing and bathing, and the drooling might be an indicator of a mouth or tooth problem. Baseboard/wall chewing is generally a sign of a bored dog.

I think you're missing the point here...


1. Reasonable... and you're a good dude for letting her get the dog.

2. Maybe your wife needs to help... and also seriously needs to brush/clean the dog.

And what is the point?

There's a fail somewhere between you, your wife and your dog. The dog is just being a dog... so... that leaves... ?
 
2012-07-31 07:13:27 PM  

Gunny Highway: Dog can sense evil. Dogs are good judges of moral character. Dogs can predict successful couples. Dogs know when you are bluffing.


Lollipop165: I worked with an abused shelter dog, Roxy, who hated black people. Black men, in particular.


uh-oh
 
2012-07-31 07:15:27 PM  

Salem Witch: InternetSecurityGuard: Love me, love my dog.

Link

There are some serious warning signs there.

What if I love your dog but I don't love you?

Srsly, your dog is a cutie :-)

Suzy, Beagle/ACD mix, has a trailer. Beagles aren't very good at running along side of bikes. They sniff ALL the things!

[img845.imageshack.us image 640x483]

[img801.imageshack.us image 640x480]


Well, come to think of it, Mr. Aloysius Scruffleupagus (Scruffy) is much more lovable than me. So I wouldn't blame ya. He does have a terminal case of cute. The papers from the adoption list him as a mixed breed terrier. When people ask I tell them that he is a Jack Daniels Terrier.
 
2012-07-31 07:16:07 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: SchadenFraud: WhippingBoy: Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: My wife has a dog. He's a good dog; I actually don't mind him.
What I hate beyond anything though is the fact that we own him; the walls are covered with drool, the carpets are covered with hair, the baseboards are all chewed up, the car stinks.
What's the best way to convince her to get rid of it?

1st thought is... so why did you marry her?

2nd thought is... you ever thought about maybe cleaning your house and car?

1. I married her because I love her. She didn't have a dog when we were married, and I never grew up with dogs so I didn't know what to expect when she begged me to get a dog.
2. I spend half of my Saturdays cleaning up after the stupid thing. The problem is it's constantly drooling and shedding.

You might want to consider talking to a veterinarian. Shedding can be decreased by regular brushing and bathing, and the drooling might be an indicator of a mouth or tooth problem. Baseboard/wall chewing is generally a sign of a bored dog.

I think you're missing the point here...

1. Reasonable... and you're a good dude for letting her get the dog.

2. Maybe your wife needs to help... and also seriously needs to brush/clean the dog.

And what is the point?

There's a fail somewhere between you, your wife and your dog. The dog is just being a dog... so... that leaves... ?


The point is that I don't want the dog in my house. At all. Far more frequent grooming might improve the situation somewhat, but it won't fix it completely.
 
2012-07-31 07:16:44 PM  
Does that mean all teenage girls are asshole while the rest of us are okay?

You need a dog to tell you that teenage girls are assholes?
 
2012-07-31 07:17:32 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: SchadenFraud: WhippingBoy: Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: My wife has a dog. He's a good dog; I actually don't mind him.
What I hate beyond anything though is the fact that we own him; the walls are covered with drool, the carpets are covered with hair, the baseboards are all chewed up, the car stinks.
What's the best way to convince her to get rid of it?

1st thought is... so why did you marry her?

2nd thought is... you ever thought about maybe cleaning your house and car?

1. I married her because I love her. She didn't have a dog when we were married, and I never grew up with dogs so I didn't know what to expect when she begged me to get a dog.
2. I spend half of my Saturdays cleaning up after the stupid thing. The problem is it's constantly drooling and shedding.

You might want to consider talking to a veterinarian. Shedding can be decreased by regular brushing and bathing, and the drooling might be an indicator of a mouth or tooth problem. Baseboard/wall chewing is generally a sign of a bored dog.

I think you're missing the point here...

1. Reasonable... and you're a good dude for letting her get the dog.

2. Maybe your wife needs to help... and also seriously needs to brush/clean the dog.

And what is the point?

There's a fail somewhere between you, your wife and your dog. The dog is just being a dog... so... that leaves... ?


The guy doesnt want the dog.
 
2012-07-31 07:18:21 PM  

The First Four Black Sabbath Albums: Our dog growls at teenage girls and no one else. Does that mean all teenage girls are asshole while the rest of us are okay?


Warning them away from the ogling perve that lives there....
 
2012-07-31 07:21:52 PM  

InternetSecurityGuard:
Well, come to think of it, Mr. Aloysius Scruffleupagus (Scruffy) is much more lovable than me. So I wouldn't blame ya. He does have a terminal case of cute. The papers from the adoption list him as a mixed breed terrier. When people ask I tell them that he is a Jack Daniels Terrier.


HA!

I've had people ask me if Suzy is a purebred. I say "Yes, but the AKC doesn't recognize the Dorkopotamus"
 
2012-07-31 07:22:56 PM  

EngineerBoy: [stjospar.org image 426x371]

As a lifelong dog owner, I can tell you that my dogs have had 100% accurate asshole radar over the years. If my dogs don't like you, I don't like you, or at least hold you in a suspect state.


Fantastic quote!

The one by Schopenhauer.

Also, the "asshole radar" one.
 
2012-07-31 07:23:29 PM  

WhippingBoy: The point is that I don't want the dog in my house. At all. Far more frequent grooming might improve the situation somewhat, but it won't fix it completely.


Maybe he can be an outside dog.

(Like children should be)

Oh... and maybe you shoulda thoughta that before you got him or her.
 
2012-07-31 07:26:54 PM  
I volunteer for a large rescue group. I'm on the behavior team, working with dogs that have issues and need some help before they're ready to be adopted.

Sometimes dogs that have been abused will react to someone who shares a characteristic with the abuser. We get dogs that are fine with women but afraid of men. Or vice-versa. Afraid of men with mustaches. We recently had one that reacted to anyone wearing sunglasses. That could be happening here, she just doesn't recognize the trigger. Or, as previous CSBs have shown, dogs are really good a-hole detectors and he sounds like a major a-hole. There are proper training techniques to deal with these things (triggers, not a-holes) and she should have taken this dog to a trainer as soon as this started.

The dog is peeing because it's afraid of him. It's snapping at the guy because it's trying to protect her.

ftfa: He bans her from chairs, couches and rooms
It's fairly easy to teach a dog not to get on the furniture, or not to get on certain pieces of furniture but obviously this guy isn't using proper training techniques. I'm sure he's yelling, shoving and throwing the dog off the furniture. The dog isn't shivering simply from being in the bathroom, it's what happened before that and the likelihood that it was thrown into the bathroom.

She needs to ditch the guy and get herself a professional trainer to help the dog overcome what's been happening to him. JRs are very high energy and need an outlet for that energy, agility training is perfect. At the very least he should go to doggie day care a couple of days a week. In my experience, about half of behavior problems can be solved by getting the dog more exercise.

A dog needs to know the rules and boundaries and what's expected of him/her. It's very stressful for the dog when he doesn't know this. A lot of times people are unwittingly putting a non-alpha dog into an alpha-dog role by not establishing themselves as pack leader and training the dog. That's extraordinarily stressful for a dog and can lead to bad behavior.
 
2012-07-31 07:26:56 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: The last time I was briefly coupled,


Pray 4 Mojo: WhippingBoy: The point is that I don't want the dog in my house. At all. Far more frequent grooming might improve the situation somewhat, but it won't fix it completely.

Maybe he can be an outside dog.

(Like children should be)

Oh... and maybe you shoulda thoughta that before you got him or her.


It is really hard to take your relationship advice seriously.
 
2012-07-31 07:27:36 PM  

Gunny Highway: I hate people who refer to their dogs as "kids" or treat them like people. They are pets. They can be an important part of your family but I would never choose a dog over a human.


It's not about choosing a dog over a human -- it's a matter of the dog's behavior indicating how the human behaves when the the letter writer isn't around.

If she comes home to find the dog locked in the bathroom and shivering in a corner, something happened while she was gone. Something happened to the dog, something the boyfriend did, to make that happen and her boyfriend isn't telling her what it is. The fact that she mentions she sees this when she comes home unexpectedly means that the boyfriend is doing something he doesn't want her to know about. That kind of behavior -- cowering, urinating, trying to defend her, etc. -- combined with the boyfriend's behavior -- shouting at the dog in her presence, leaving it shivering in the bathroom, etc. -- tell me there's something going on that she's not seeing.The odds are very high that he is abusing the dog in some way, and pretty much 100% that he's lying to her about what he's doing. That is not the basis for a stable relationship.

Someone who will mistreat an animal will mistreat a child ... or a spouse.

She shouldn't ditch the guy for abusing her dog, or at least not just for abusing her dog. She should ditch him for being the kind of person who would abuse a dog in the first place, and then lie to his girlfriend about it.

Also, I would take the dog to the vet for X-rays. Now.
 
2012-07-31 07:33:53 PM  
Anyone who would abuse an animal can be safely executed. They are of no value, unless you want to re-enact the middle ages and start torturing people in earnest to no real end.
 
2012-07-31 07:34:33 PM  
When he comes around, she pees on herself. She snaps at him if he tries to sit on the couch by me. He yells at her constantly. He bans her from chairs, couches and rooms. Sometimes I come home early, and he has locked her in the bathroom. When I open the door, she's in the corner just shivering.

So the dog is a biter. Look, this chick managed to paint the guy as an asshole, but what is more likely? That the guy is an asshole to dogs, or a new man is around the house and the dog doesn't like it? The dog probably barks all the time at him, pees all over the house,a nd apparently bites, that's probably why she is locked in a room. On top of it all, its a Russel, im going with behavioral problems on the aprt of the dog. I'm also going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt until, ya know, i've at least heard both sides of the story before i paint this guy as a terrible person like some people already have
 
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