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(Conservapedia)   If you're not reading Conservapedia's 2012 Summer Olympics entry, you're missing out on a derpstorm of historic proportions   (conservapedia.com ) divider line
    More: Weird, Iceland's Olympic, Olympic medals, Canada at the Olympics, Djokovic, Title IX, Beijing Games, Cameroon, Points per game  
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9248 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Aug 2012 at 4:07 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-31 02:21:29 PM  
Well, FINALLY, I'll know the answer to "will countries that have implemented same-sex marriage underperform?"
 
2012-07-31 02:30:29 PM  
Will the lamestream media report on Nur Suryani Mohamed Taibi of Malaysia, who is competing while being 8 months pregnant, or does that send too pro-life of a message

They know she's having a Muslim baby, right?
 
2012-07-31 02:35:02 PM  
That page *has* to be satire. It's waaaaaay too over the top.
 
2012-07-31 02:37:44 PM  
"atheistic Great Britain"

Uh, yeah. Right.
 
2012-07-31 02:38:51 PM  

Lorelle: "atheistic Great Britain"

Uh, yeah. Right.


Yes, the one with an established national religion.
 
2012-07-31 02:40:27 PM  
Wow... that's the dumbest, most insipid thing I've read in a long time.

And I've read Michele Bachmann quotes recently.
 
2012-07-31 02:40:52 PM  
This is GOLD. GOLD, I TELL YOU.

I love that 3/4 of these are just "TBA". They're actually reaching into the future to find fake issues to feel oppressed about.
 
2012-07-31 02:53:46 PM  
This is either the derpiest website known to man or the most brilliant satire ever conceived.
 
2012-07-31 03:11:37 PM  

Egoy3k: This is either the derpiest website known to man or the most brilliant satire ever conceived.


It is unfortunately not satire. Not unless Andrew Schlafly has been running a multi-decade troll character in all aspects of his life.
 
2012-07-31 03:14:07 PM  
FTFA: How many athletes will be unfairly expelled based on liberal censorship of their free speech?

This tard does know that not every country follows the United States constitution (nevermind that he has no idea how the constitution works)
 
2012-07-31 05:56:30 PM  
That page has the highest crazy word percentage I've seen since Timecube.
 
2012-07-31 06:59:36 PM  

hardyz1: That page has the highest crazy word percentage I've seen since Timecube.


How is it possible that I've been on the internets since the first tubes were connected, and I've never heard of TimeCube until today?

Thanks for that.
 
2012-08-01 11:12:21 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: That page *has* to be satire. It's waaaaaay too over the top.


It is hard for me to tell, it is blocked by my corporate firewall as "inappropriate", so I am guess DERP rather than satire.
 
2012-08-01 01:15:19 PM  

But Wait There's More: hardyz1: That page has the highest crazy word percentage I've seen since Timecube.

How is it possible that I've been on the internets since the first tubes were connected, and I've never heard of TimeCube until today?

Thanks for that.


Wow I just tried to go their while at work and it is blocked due to "violence, hate and racism"...accurate?
 
2012-08-01 03:32:15 PM  
From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas


Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?
 
2012-08-01 04:10:49 PM  
This is the same website that started the push for a Conservative Bible (to take out all the liberal language added by apostates and blasphemers over the 2000 years since White Jesus was killed by sand people and jews).
 
2012-08-01 04:10:52 PM  
WOW.
 
2012-08-01 04:11:03 PM  
The Olympic Games have pagan origins;

That is as far as I got.
 
2012-08-01 04:11:53 PM  

Elzar: From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas

Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?


Well, when you're functionally retarded because of your political delusions, you may believe these crazy things. Motion to put them in leper-like colonies?
 
2012-08-01 04:12:26 PM  

sprawl15: sand people


Tusken Raiders?
 
2012-08-01 04:12:48 PM  

Richard Freckle: But Wait There's More: hardyz1: That page has the highest crazy word percentage I've seen since Timecube.

How is it possible that I've been on the internets since the first tubes were connected, and I've never heard of TimeCube until today?

Thanks for that.

Wow I just tried to go their while at work and it is blocked due to "violence, hate and racism"...accurate?


www.timecube.com
Creation is the Harmonics of Opposites -
Opposites are the Harmonics of Creation.
God entity is queer sex, or no opposite sex.
God Oners must ban all sex with Opposites.
Trinity of males degrade female opposites.
Sex okay for atheist, but not God Oneists.
Opposite hemispheres equate planets to a
Giant Brain, that has 4 faces, but no limbs.
Adults create baby, baby evolves to adult.
No 1 God can create a planet of opposites,
which equate to a zero value existence, and
cancels to nothing as an entity in death.
 
2012-08-01 04:12:52 PM  
"Underachievement by atheistic nations will be particularly evident in the team sports, where spiritual motivation is usually non-existent. Expect the atheistic nations to underachieve most notably in soccer, where teamwork is paramount. "
 
2012-08-01 04:13:25 PM  
Conservapedia

Stopped reading right there.
 
2012-08-01 04:13:33 PM  
Sorry subby, I don't think that your headline comes close enough to conveying the amount of stupid in that link, please try again...
 
2012-08-01 04:13:36 PM  
So, why do they hate David Beckham so much?
 
2012-08-01 04:13:58 PM  
"In all three territories, the population is heavily Catholic and there is large opposition to same-sex marriage in spite of the Kingdom's requirements."
 
2012-08-01 04:14:16 PM  

Isitoveryet: sprawl15: sand people

Tusken Raiders?


They underperform in the marksmanship events. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are precise enough to have a hope.
 
2012-08-01 04:15:23 PM  
During the Modern Olympic Games, the pagan origins of the Olympics have been replaced by faith-based achievement by the participating athletes.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-01 04:15:35 PM  
I didn't realize overrated sports stars were such a deep issue to conservatives.
 
2012-08-01 04:16:18 PM  

Richard Freckle: But Wait There's More: hardyz1: That page has the highest crazy word percentage I've seen since Timecube.

How is it possible that I've been on the internets since the first tubes were connected, and I've never heard of TimeCube until today?

Thanks for that.

Wow I just tried to go their while at work and it is blocked due to "violence, hate and racism"...accurate?


I think "confusing" is better...
Here's a sample:

In 1884, meridian time personnel met
in Washington to change Earth time.
First words said was that only 1 day
could be used on Earth to not change
the 1 day bible. So they applied the 1
day and ignored the other 3 days.
The bible time was wrong then and it
proved wrong today. This a major lie
has so much evil feed from it's wrong.
No man on Earth has no belly-button,
it proves every believer on Earth a liar.

Children will be blessed for
Killing Of Educated Adults
Who Ignore 4 Simultaneous
Days Same Earth Rotation.
Practicing Evil ONEness -
Upon Earth Of Quadrants.
Evil Adult Crime VS Youth.
Supports Lie Of Integration.
1 Educated Are Most Dumb.
Not 1 Human Except Dead 1.
Man Is Paired, 2 Half 4 Self.
1 of God Is Only 1/4 Of God.
Bible A Lie & Word Is Lies.
Navel Connects 4 Corner 4s.
God Is Born Of A Mother -
She Left Belly B. Signature.
Every Priest Has Ma Sign
But Lies To Honor Queers.
Belly B. Proves 4 Corners.


Not farking SURE what they are rambling about, but it amazes me that these kinds of people can even handle logging on to the internet.
 
2012-08-01 04:16:30 PM  
"Men's Handball: Will heavy underdogs Tunisia overperform in Group A? Group A should perhaps be dubbed the "Group of Left", since the other five teams are Sweden, Iceland, and Argentina, where same-sex marriage is legal, and increasingly atheistic Great Britain and France."

TOO MUCH DERP TOO MUUUBLAARRGGHHH
i2.kym-cdn.com

/bonus for obvious homophobia in men's handball article
//is this for real?
 
2012-08-01 04:17:06 PM  

Elzar: From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas

Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?


China currently has the most gold medals and the most medals overall. That is somehow underachievement?
 
2012-08-01 04:17:32 PM  
I read that entire page. It made me 20 percent stupider.

Andrew Schlafly needs to be hit by a bus. Preferably one with one of those atheist ads on the side.
 
2012-08-01 04:17:33 PM  
Poe's Law? Epic reverse-troll by the page author? This is just too derpy to believe...
 
2012-08-01 04:17:51 PM  

rynthetyn: So, why do they hate David Beckham so much?


Probably because those closet cases are attracted to him.
 
2012-08-01 04:17:54 PM  

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: Isitoveryet: sprawl15: sand people

Tusken Raiders?

They underperform in the marksmanship events. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are precise enough to have a hope.


I've got 50 credits bet on them in Bantha dressage though.
 
2012-08-01 04:18:16 PM  

kingoomieiii: Egoy3k: This is either the derpiest website known to man or the most brilliant satire ever conceived.

It is unfortunately not satire. Not unless Andrew Schlafly has been running a multi-decade troll character in all aspects of his life.


Works for Glen Beck.
 
2012-08-01 04:18:20 PM  
If the URL is correct, the site you are trying to reach may link indirectly to a site that contains inappropriate content such as an advertisement. The URL may also be part of a larger domain blocked in its entirety due to the preponderance of inappropriate content throughout the domain.

The URL is listed under categories (Blogs/Wiki, Controversial Opinions), which are not allowed by your administrator at this time. The following reputation level was assigned to it: Neutral.


heh
 
2012-08-01 04:19:02 PM  
I'm suprised he doesn't divide athletes into the "bootstrappy" and "socialist" groups to represent those that pay for their own training and those that receive some sort of government assistance.
 
2012-08-01 04:19:45 PM  

mainstreet62: Conservapedia

Stopped reading right there.


So much f*cking THIS!
 
2012-08-01 04:19:51 PM  
Increasingly atheistic Great Britain did not win its first gold medal until Day 5 (August 1), despite having all the advantages of being the host nation.

Do host nation athletes get a head start or something?
 
2012-08-01 04:20:02 PM  
From the footnotes:

A foreigner, reportedly a lesbian, was selected as the head coach of the already champion American Olympic women's soccer team in 2007, and in the following year that team repeated its gold medal-winning performance of 2004. Aren't there American, although perhaps not politically correct, soccer coaches good enough to run the Olympic team?

Bwaaahahahahah. Nobody tell them about Megan Rapinoe. Or Abby Wambach for that matter.
 
2012-08-01 04:20:07 PM  
The same people who will move to Canada because of Obama's health care plan somehow believe that the US constitution applies outside of the jurisdiction of the United States. Plus Jesus.
 
2012-08-01 04:20:25 PM  

fringedmyotis: Poe's Law? Epic reverse-troll by the page author? This is just too derpy to believe...


No, they're deadly serious. Check out RationalWiki's ongoing coverage of the derp.
 
2012-08-01 04:20:28 PM  

Elzar: From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas

Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?


I want to know how they explain away China...
 
2012-08-01 04:21:09 PM  
Do you mean to tell me conservapedia ISN'T SATIRE???

What.

The.

FARK!
 
2012-08-01 04:21:16 PM  

Isitoveryet: sprawl15: sand people

Tusken Raiders?


Obligatory:

i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-01 04:21:45 PM  

meat0918: Elzar: From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas

Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?

I want to know how they explain away China...


With a billion and a half people, they should be WINNING ALL THE MEDALS!!! of course.
 
2012-08-01 04:22:11 PM  

kingoomieiii: Egoy3k: This is either the derpiest website known to man or the most brilliant satire ever conceived.

It is unfortunately not satire. Not unless Andrew Schlafly has been running a multi-decade troll character in all aspects of his life.


On the other hand, other people CAN edit it. And as I recall, at least one person got to practically be Andrew's right-hand man on the site before coming out as a troll.
 
2012-08-01 04:22:12 PM  
Godwinned three farking sentences in.
 
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