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(Conservapedia)   If you're not reading Conservapedia's 2012 Summer Olympics entry, you're missing out on a derpstorm of historic proportions   (conservapedia.com) divider line 286
    More: Weird, Iceland's Olympic, Olympic medals, Canada at the Olympics, Djokovic, Title IX, Beijing Games, Cameroon, Points per game  
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9239 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Aug 2012 at 4:07 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-01 04:39:52 PM

rynthetyn: It made for a nice human interest story, but I'm surprised they haven't flipped out over the fact that she's Muslim and wears the hijab.


It did, but it would have been serious news if she was hurdling and a baby popped out... I was wondering if she was Muslim, kinda funny how they're letting that slip, in favor of generating a new faux-troversey.
 
2012-08-01 04:40:04 PM
What's a Title IX quota?
 
2012-08-01 04:40:05 PM

what_now: Will the lamestream media report on Nur Suryani Mohamed Taibi of Malaysia, who is competing while being 8 months pregnant, or does that send too pro-life of a message

They know she's having a Muslim baby, right?


More like jihadist anchor babies.
 
2012-08-01 04:40:19 PM
While I absolutely believe conservatives could rub one out to this article, I cannot believe this is real. I hope.
 
2012-08-01 04:40:24 PM

rynthetyn: I assume they're not counting public universities in the category "public school sports". Because at one point, maybe it's still the case, the University of Florida had more medals in London than the UK did.


i'm calling bullsh*t on the $500B/year 'education' that's closer to what the Dept of 'Defense' (formerly the Dept of War) spends. Daily.
 
2012-08-01 04:40:27 PM

rynthetyn: meat0918: Elzar: From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas

Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?

I want to know how they explain away China...

With a billion and a half people, they should be WINNING ALL THE MEDALS!!! of course.


Actually, I'd expect "God is punishing the US of A"
 
2012-08-01 04:40:42 PM

sprawl15: I read the whole thing in Bjork's voice.


every morning I walk towards the edge
and throw little things off
like some dreams might be God playing a trick for amusement purposes on you
 
2012-08-01 04:41:30 PM
Another Conservapedia gem: the Conservative Bible Project - "utilizing the 'best of the public' to render God's word into modern English without liberal translation distortions"

And yes, all American Conservative Christians (Young Earthers, Evangelicals, KKK, Republicans, Fox News, etc) are this stupid.
 
2012-08-01 04:44:00 PM

Elzar: From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas

Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?


Clearly they believe in the Triumph of the Will of God.
 
2012-08-01 04:44:00 PM

Egoy3k: This is either the derpiest website known to man or the most brilliant satire ever conceived.


Andy Schlafly's mommy is Phyllis Schlafly, she of the Eagle Forum, Her wikipedia entry is...interesting. So is Andy's, for that matter.

Some of the editors on Conservapedia are taking the piss, but Andy himself is not.
 
2012-08-01 04:44:17 PM

Khellendros: sprawl15: For more than a century, the claim that E=mc² has never yielded anything of value.

The irony of reading this in this day in age.....



It's nothing new, the Church once spent a great deal of effort to discredit the idea of a vacuum, because God was "everywhere" but could not exist in this so-called vacuum thing.
 
2012-08-01 04:44:30 PM
"Will almost no athletes from public school sports programs
win any gold medals, despite how public schools spend more than
$500 billion annually to teach and train Americans?"


Physical Education classes and sports were first funded to ensure that able bodied males would be physically fit for THE FARKING DRAFT. Conservatives have lost their way so farking much they are against things that they are for. Sooooo much deeeeeerp. They wonder why the "liberal agenda" keeps on advancing, well it is because they are the alternative.
 
2012-08-01 04:45:30 PM

palelizard: What's a Title IX quota?


Equal funds/time for female athletics programs, more or less. Real Murikan Paytreeots know that Title IX is an evil liberal plot to destroy highschool football.
 
2012-08-01 04:45:47 PM
PAGING ANONYMOUS

ANONYMOUS please knock conservapedia dot com offline

for an extended period/until the Olympic games are over.

thanks, your pal, UD
 
2012-08-01 04:45:50 PM
FTA: "Scorn for Comcast's NBC coverage of the Olympic games hit America coast to coast. Viewers have taken to the internet with the trend #NBCfail for days now. The groans began at the opening ceremony when American viewers were denied the tribute to British victims of Islamic terrorism. As the games moved forward, live events were interrupted or had already finished, replaced with commercials and NBC commentators talking about the athletes. It has been reported the Comcast spent $1 billion for the rights to televise the 2012 Olympics."

At we can all agree on something
 
2012-08-01 04:48:19 PM

urban.derelict: PAGING ANONYMOUS

ANONYMOUS please knock conservapedia dot com offline

for an extended period/until the Olympic games are over.

thanks, your pal, UD


NYPA
 
2012-08-01 04:49:45 PM
"..faith-based achievement..."

What sort of thing is that?
This is some good comedy. Unfortunately these people can vote, so their disturbing mentality affects the rest of us.
 
2012-08-01 04:53:41 PM

aurorous: FTA: "Scorn for Comcast's NBC coverage of the Olympic games hit America coast to coast. Viewers have taken to the internet with the trend #NBCfail for days now. The groans began at the opening ceremony when American viewers were denied the tribute to British victims of Islamic terrorism. As the games moved forward, live events were interrupted or had already finished, replaced with commercials and NBC commentators talking about the athletes. It has been reported the Comcast spent $1 billion for the rights to televise the 2012 Olympics."

At we can all agree on something


We agree that they should have shown the 7/7 tribute but most of use were thinking about respecting the people affected by a national tragedy. These idiots were thinking it was good because it made Islam look bad and the liberal media covered it up. It's like agreeing with Ron Paul that the federal government shouldn't tell you who you can marry. I think that because I believe in giving gay people the same rights as everyone, RON PAUL believes that because 300 years ago some said "states rights". Taken at face value, we agree but not for the same reasons.
 
2012-08-01 04:54:04 PM

palelizard: What's a Title IX quota?


Title IX prevents descrimination based on sex in Federally funded colleges. This creates potential funding problems in college athletics; IE, if you spend $100 million on the male only football team, you need to spend $100 million on women's athletics, kinda sorta not really but it makes for good conservative derp.
 
2012-08-01 04:57:36 PM
...aaaaand the "expected medals" section doesn't even list Russia.

Yeah, good luck with that.
 
2012-08-01 04:58:10 PM
You could outshine the olympic flame by lighting all those strawmen on fire
 
2012-08-01 05:00:08 PM

zerkalo: You could outshine the olympic flame by lighting all those strawmen on fire


Some men just want to watch the world burn.
 
2012-08-01 05:00:17 PM
can't... find... words... so... derpy...
 
2012-08-01 05:04:25 PM
Whar my tetherball NBC whaar??!?!?!!
 
2012-08-01 05:04:35 PM

sugardave: Equal funds/time for female athletics programs, more or less. Real Murikan Paytreeots know that Title IX is an evil liberal plot to destroy highschool football.


Geotpf: Title IX prevents descrimination based on sex in Federally funded colleges. This creates potential funding problems in college athletics; IE, if you spend $100 million on the male only football team, you need to spend $100 million on women's athletics, kinda sorta not really but it makes for good conservative derp.


I see. Thanks.
 
2012-08-01 05:10:32 PM

Elzar: From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas

Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?


What I love about the site is how the Talk pages have all been scrubbed of any discussion. Can't have dissent. They're god just isn't strong enough to be openly discussed.
 
2012-08-01 05:11:29 PM

xria: Haven't seen it, but how do they explain China if atheist/left wing tends to lead to low performance? Or are they saying if China went christian/full capitalist they would win 99% of all the medals?


China is listed as "Buddhist" and is therefore not atheist.
 
2012-08-01 05:12:27 PM

But Wait There's More: hardyz1: That page has the highest crazy word percentage I've seen since Timecube.

How is it possible that I've been on the internets since the first tubes were connected, and I've never heard of TimeCube until today?

Thanks for that.


I have no words for what I just read. I don't... I just... don't.
 
2012-08-01 05:13:09 PM

Geotpf: palelizard: What's a Title IX quota?

Title IX prevents descrimination based on sex in Federally funded colleges. This creates potential funding problems in college athletics; IE, if you spend $100 million on the male only football team, you need to spend $100 million on women's athletics, kinda sorta not really but it makes for good conservative derp.


As far as I recall, football is exempt.
 
2012-08-01 05:13:36 PM
For all that balther.... they ignore the fact that the Opening Ceremony was a love song to the workers of the Industrial Revolution, the NHS, and to interracial families?
 
2012-08-01 05:14:42 PM
Did anyone get into the World History lectures? There's some pretty good material there, especially their complex academic nomenclature can be confusing.

"Cuneiform looks like chicken-scratches featuring wedge-like or arrow-shaped characters.

Thanks subby, this is gold, I tell you!
 
2012-08-01 05:14:48 PM
Conservapedia is one of the many reasons I can't take America's right wing movement seriously. These people have no connection to the real world so they just create their own separate reality.

There's a reason why there's no liberalapedia. We're content with reality.
 
2012-08-01 05:15:32 PM
And featured a lesbian kiss on a 200 foot screen!


/the first ever shown in Saudi Arabia and Iran.... BAH! You didn't see that coming, did you censors!
 
2012-08-01 05:16:05 PM
The Olympic Games have pagan origins

So does Christmas. Is this supposed to mean something?

The modern Olympics date back to the Ancient Greek Olympics ... way before Christ was born. WTF is with this movement to label everything that happened before Christ, or outside Christianity, as evil, immoral, and suspect?
 
2012-08-01 05:16:12 PM

Bungles: For all that balther.... they ignore the fact that the Opening Ceremony was a love song to the workers of the Industrial Revolution, the NHS, and to interracial families?


They got one look at that and crawled under their sofas screaming prayers to God, Jesus, Billy Graham and Zombie Reagan to protect them from the evil godless ones and the stress of it all wiped the memory from their tormented, tortured brains.
 
2012-08-01 05:16:16 PM

CorporatePerson: Conservapedia is one of the many reasons I can't take America's right wing movement seriously. These people have no connection to the real world so they just create their own separate reality.



Certainly explains the fantastic crossover they enjoy with religious people.
 
2012-08-01 05:16:34 PM
I tried reading that.
Then blood starting coming out my eyes and my Monitor started to make this strange noise.
It sounded like a horn, but not one I had ever heard before. It was deep and so lonely.

Then my soul shivered and a great blackness started to take over my mind.

I came to 20 mins later and my PC was shut down, but, laughter remained echoing through the room. Or is it my head...

I truly believe we have opened a door that should not have been opened. Cthulu opened his eye and for the briefest of seconds, focused his attention on my earthly frame.

Never again....
 
2012-08-01 05:16:44 PM

brianbankerus: Elzar: From their mainpage summary:

The 2012 Summer Olympics has created a good opportunity to observe:

underachievement by atheistic and same-sex marriage nations
underachievement by Overrated Sports Stars
overachievement by Christian athletes and Greatest Conservative Sports Stars
underachievement in sports weakened by feminist Title IX quotas

Jesus farking christ they really believe God is somehow rewarding athletes based on these ridiculous metrics?

What I love about the site is how the Talk pages have all been scrubbed of any discussion. Can't have dissent. They're god just isn't strong enough to be openly discussed.


I don't think they'd be so much dissent as much as out and out rude condescension.
 
2012-08-01 05:17:15 PM
The liberal thought police expelled a Swiss soccer player for tweeting that South Koreans are "retards."[2]

So now "retards" is ok to call people by the right? Funny when Sara Palin said it wasn't, it wasn't.
 
2012-08-01 05:19:23 PM

whidbey: I don't think they'd be so much dissent as much as out and out rude condescension.


I posted a question in a discussion page once... no reply, it was just purged from the site. Try it yourself. Ask something gentle and easy, you'll see.
 
2012-08-01 05:20:03 PM

Corvus: The liberal thought police expelled a Swiss soccer player for tweeting that South Koreans are "retards."[2]

So now "retards" is ok to call people by the right? Funny when Sara Palin said it wasn't, it wasn't.


Link
 
2012-08-01 05:24:02 PM

brianbankerus: whidbey: I don't think they'd be so much dissent as much as out and out rude condescension.

I posted a question in a discussion page once... no reply, it was just purged from the site. Try it yourself. Ask something gentle and easy, you'll see.


I'm not doubting you, I can just understand why they would keep their comments locked.

They aren't interested in discussion, they posted a bunch of inflammatory sh*t that's more like trolling than information.

Someone should just take their page down and fill it with a bunch of homoerotic imagery.
 
2012-08-01 05:25:08 PM

Captain_Ballbeard: So now "retards" is ok to call people by the right? Funny when Sara Palin said it wasn't, it wasn't.


sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

/because Ben Franklin didn't invent the microphone until 1774
 
2012-08-01 05:25:41 PM

What sort of dumbass calls South Korea an atheist nation?

Event Country Religious Category
Women's 4x100m Freestyle (Swimming) Australia Increasingly Atheistic
Men's Team Archery Italy Christian
Women's Team Archery South Korea Atheistic
 
2012-08-01 05:28:02 PM

urban.derelict: "Will almost no athletes from public school sports programs
win any gold medals, despite how public schools spend more than
$500 billion annually to teach and train Americans?"
[lh6.googleusercontent.com image 60x55]


except Penn is a farking randite libertarian/republican shiat.
 
2012-08-01 05:28:26 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: China currently has the most gold medals and the most medals overall. That is somehow underachievement?


And no mention of North Korea. Right now 5th place in gold medals, probably even better per capita.
 
2012-08-01 05:28:36 PM

ImpendingCynic: The Olympic Games have pagan origins

So does Christmas. Is this supposed to mean something?

The modern Olympics date back to the Ancient Greek Olympics ... way before Christ was born. WTF is with this movement to label everything that happened before Christ, or outside Christianity, as evil, immoral, and suspect?


But I'm sure the Bible forbids international sports competition somewhere; it's not like the Bible forbids Christmas celebrations anywhere...


Thus says the Lord: "Learn not the way of the nations, nor be dismayed at the signs of the heavens because the nations are dismayed at them, for the customs of the peoples are vanity. A tree from the forest is cut down and worked with an axe by the hands of a craftsman. They decorate it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so that it cannot move.
Jeremiah 10:2-4
 
2012-08-01 05:28:39 PM

jst3p: kingoomieiii: Egoy3k: This is either the derpiest website known to man or the most brilliant satire ever conceived.

It is unfortunately not satire. Not unless Andrew Schlafly has been running a multi-decade troll character in all aspects of his life.

Works for Glen Beck.


Andrew Schlafly makes Glenn Beck look like a rank amateur.
 
2012-08-01 05:29:23 PM

Skleenar: What sort of dumbass calls South Korea an atheist nation?


Well, I'll be blowed

Coulda sworn that more than half of South Koreans were religious. Maybe it just seems that way because the religious ones are so strongly so.
 
2012-08-01 05:29:56 PM
"Usually there are different classes of people, such as rich and poor."

"In a nutshell, a civilization must have cities,..."


Yup.
 
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