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(Gawker)   Girl Responsible for 'Worst National Anthem Performance Ever' Gets Second Chance to show that, well, she just cannot sing well   (gawker.com) divider line 99
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5690 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Jul 2012 at 5:28 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-31 02:56:21 PM
Actually, she doesn't sound that bad there. The song is awful, but the National Anthem is a wretched, terrible song anyway.

She's also 11. But, hey, go for blood.
 
2012-07-31 03:18:52 PM
Yeah, right, every 11 yo girl who sings in the shower is a diva nowadays. Don't put your daughter up to such an humiliating feat, just wait for the Kidz Bop callback instead. If she must sing the National Anthem, have her sing the farking song, don't have her ham it up with the chops she don't have.
 
2012-07-31 03:20:58 PM
Pitch is better.

Drop the melisma.

Learn proper phrasing. That is to say, stop taking breaths in the middle of the melodic line.
 
2012-07-31 03:22:24 PM
I loathe this child.
 
2012-07-31 03:24:01 PM
maybe if she didn't extend EVERY SINGLE NOTE, it wouldn't have been that bad.
 
2012-07-31 03:35:28 PM
Okay, at least she tried.

/And I tried to listen....
//I blame mommy for not being honest with the poor girl
 
2012-07-31 03:43:13 PM
Someone watched American Idol too much....
 
2012-07-31 03:56:21 PM
You could tell during the anthem that she has pipes, but she has some issues holding notes and her hilarious overuse of (whatever that musical convention is that makes them draw out notes during anthems and R&B songs) was painful.
 
2012-07-31 04:09:15 PM

Quasar: whatever that musical convention is that makes them draw out notes during anthems and R&B songs


Melisma.
 
2012-07-31 04:20:06 PM

Shostie: Pitch is better.

Drop the melisma.

Learn proper phrasing. That is to say, stop taking breaths in the middle of the melodic line.


Two things come to mind as I read all the stuff about her:
1. A capella is hard to do, but....
2. She obviously has very, very poor voice teaching. The phrasing alone is enough to tell me that.

I kind of assume at this point that the mother is the teacher, and she's got big time snowflake blinders on. And I really don't know of a teacher who's okay with this much melisma in someone this young.
 
2012-07-31 04:26:40 PM
1
To ANACREON in Heav'n, where he sat in full Glee,
A few Sons of Harmony sent a Petition,
That He their Inspirer and Patron wou'd be;
When this Answer arriv'd from the JOLLY OLD GRECIAN
"Voice, Fiddle, and Flute,
"No longer be mute,
"I'll lend you my Name and inspire you to boot,
"And, besides, I'll instruct you like me, to intwine
"The Myrtle of VENUS with BACCHUS's Vine.

2
The news through OLYMPUS immediately flew;
When OLD THUNDER pretended to give himself Airs_
If these Mortals are suffer'd their Scheme to pursue,
The Devil a Goddess will stay above Stairs.
"Hark! already they cry,
"In Transports of Joy
"Away to the Sons of ANACREON we'll fly,
"And there, with good Fellows, we'll learn to intwine
"The Myrtle of VENUS with BACCHUS'S Vine.

3
"The YELLOW-HAIR'D GOD and his nine fusty Maids
"From HELICON'S Banks will incontinent flee,
"IDALIA will boast but of tenantless Shades,
"And the bi-forked Hill a mere Desart will be
"My Thunder, no fear on't,
"Shall soon do it's Errand,
"And, dam'me! I'll swinge the Ringleaders I warrant,
"I'll trim the young Dogs, for thus daring to twine
"The Myrtle of VENUS with BACCHUS'S Vine.

4
APOLLO rose up; and said, "Pr'ythee ne'er quarrel,
"Good King of the Gods with my Vot'ries below:
"Your Thunder is useless_then, shewing his Laurel,
Cry'd. "Sic evitabile fulmen, you know!
"Then over each Head
"My Laurels I'll spread
"So my Sons from your Crackers no Mischief shall dread,
"Whilst snug in their Club-Room, they Jovially twine
"The Myrtle of VENUS with BACCHUS'S Vine.

5
Next MOMUS got up, with his risible Phiz,
And swore with APOLLO he'd cheerfull join_
"The full Tide of Harmony still shall be his,
"But the Song, and the Catch, & the Laugh shall bemine
"Then, JOVE, be not jealous
Of these honest Fellows,
Cry'd JOVE, "We relent, since the Truth you now tell us;
"And swear, by OLD STYX, that they long shall entwine
"The Myrtle of VENUS with BACCHUS'S Vine.

6
Ye Sons of ANACREON, then, join Hand in Hand;
Preserve Unanimity, Friendship, and Love!
'Tis your's to support what's so happily plann'd;
You've the Sanction of Gods, and the FIAT of JOVE.
While thus we agree
Our Toast let it be.
May our Club flourish happy, united and free!
And long may the Sons of ANACREON intwine
The Myrtle of VENUS with BACCHUS'S Vine.
 
2012-07-31 04:28:13 PM
so basically she isn't terrible- she's just mediocre, forgettable and at best just horribly trained.

mehhhhhhhhhhhh
 
2012-07-31 05:09:03 PM
Now let's try it with a pole and dollar bills.
 
2012-07-31 05:25:54 PM
Her mom taught her to lie about as well as she taught her to sing.
 
2012-07-31 05:29:43 PM
any bets that mom is a 250 lb whale that wears a mumu?
 
2012-07-31 05:32:22 PM
Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!
 
2012-07-31 05:33:37 PM
Darn, and I was hoping we'd eventually get to see a Web Redemption with Tosh.
 
2012-07-31 05:37:52 PM

Jake Havechek: Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!


images.bowzer2.multiply.com
 
2012-07-31 05:38:59 PM
When did they let Rebecca Black sing the national anthem?
 
2012-07-31 05:39:37 PM
I got about 15 seconds into the bad version and with her dragging it out like realized there was no way I could make it. Eject.

just sing the song. quit with the melisma.

/but I will give her respect for having the guts to go out there and do it. I turned down the lead in a play in sixth grade because I got all nervous and stage frighty.
 
2012-07-31 05:40:45 PM
Poor girl. I blame the mother.
 
2012-07-31 05:41:58 PM
It's all God's fault. He's such a bastard.
 
2012-07-31 05:42:04 PM
Oh, it's Coppell, TX. Figures. Talk about wannabes in that town. Yuck. That whole area (Southlake-Carroll, Coppell, Frisco, et al) is stuffed chock full of snooty, overstuffed wannabes who think they belong on the television and deserve to be instantly rich and famous.
 
2012-07-31 05:44:56 PM
See, parents? This is what you get when you tell your kids are special and are the best at what they like to do.

I get it. You don't want to crush their dreams. But for fark's sake... nudging them and saying, "hey, why not try a bowling league?" might save your kid a lot of heartbreak in the future.
 
2012-07-31 05:46:45 PM
Was this mom's career choice for her daughter after she got to be too old for Toddlers and Tiaras?
 
2012-07-31 05:46:52 PM
So, I played the original video and my dogs started howling. Really. My deaf dogs started howling.

And there are ZERO vuvuzeulas on that video. She's awful!
 
2012-07-31 05:49:55 PM

Cewley: any bets that mom is a 250 lb whale that wears a mumu?


Don't belittle the humble mumu, it's a harsh job that it has to do.
 
2012-07-31 05:50:30 PM

tudorgurl: Poor girl. I blame the mother.

 
2012-07-31 05:51:18 PM

Jake Havechek: Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!


Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-07-31 05:51:30 PM

tudorgurl: And there are ZERO vuvuzeulas on that video. She's awful!


I'm surprised anyone remembers them. They were the meme for soccer games for what, 4 months, then went away? I'm shocked the mother didn't try to blame Keyboard Cat or the World Of Warcraft Rage Boy on her daughter's singing that day.
 
2012-07-31 05:52:05 PM

Kurmudgeon: Cewley: any bets that mom is a 250 lb whale that wears a mumu?

Don't belittle the humble mumu, it's a harsh job that it has to do.


+Funny, to you, sir.
 
2012-07-31 05:59:28 PM

busy chillin': I got about 15 seconds into the bad version and with her dragging it out like realized there was no way I could make it. Eject.


Me too. I thought, "No way could this be the 'Worst National Anthem Performance Ever'." Damn was I wrong. Roseanne did better.
 
2012-07-31 06:07:20 PM

RoxtarRyan: tudorgurl: And there are ZERO vuvuzeulas on that video. She's awful!

I'm surprised anyone remembers them. They were the meme for soccer games for what, 4 months, then went away? I'm shocked the mother didn't try to blame Keyboard Cat or the World Of Warcraft Rage Boy on her daughter's singing that day.


Agreed. And it's not an isolated incident either. I checked out her website and watched her rendition of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" and...holy shiat. She is awful!
 
2012-07-31 06:09:30 PM

Pocket Ninja: Actually, she doesn't sound that bad there. The song is awful, but the National Anthem is a wretched, terrible song anyway.

She's also 11. But, hey, go for blood.


i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-31 06:12:09 PM
I liked the gaye anthem linked in the article.
 
2012-07-31 06:30:54 PM
11 years old. I'm sure she'll get better.
 
2012-07-31 06:31:01 PM
Look, I know everything nowadays has to be the everythingest ever in the history and future of spacetime, but her original performance wasn't worse than Roseanne's, nor Rebecca Black's recorded/studio version of her song that had accompaniment. Sure, the tempo/rhythm was WAY off, but at least it was somewhat consistent. Started out slow with what appeared to be an extra beat or two in each phrase and stayed that way. It was bad, but I've heard MUCH worse.
 
2012-07-31 06:32:33 PM

RoxtarRyan: tudorgurl: And there are ZERO vuvuzeulas on that video. She's awful!

I'm surprised anyone remembers them. They were the meme for soccer games for what, 4 months, then went away? I'm shocked the mother didn't try to blame Keyboard Cat or the World Of Warcraft Rage Boy on her daughter's singing that day


I was at the soccer game and can tell you that there were plenty of vuvuzeulas there. They sell the farking things at the souvenir stands. I had to explain to my son that, no, I wouldn't buy him one because 1) I wanted his mother to let me back in the house and 2) it was just the worst farking idea ever.
Having said that, there was no one blowing the vuvuzeulas during the anthem, so that couldn't have thrown her off. There were asshats yelling "Stars!" along with the words "stars" and "star" like they do at Dallas Stars games, but that couldn't have been it either. Now, if she had expanded her claim a little and claimed that the "blowhorns" blowing before she started had caused her brain damage so that she couldn't stay on key and actually thought her weird phrasing and flourishes were a good idea, well, that I might actually believe.
 
2012-07-31 06:34:01 PM
So she has very little discernible talent but her mother tells her otherwise. Life is going to be very hard for this little girl because her mother is an idiot.
 
2012-07-31 06:35:36 PM
I only made it through the first 15 seconds of the original video. Was her second attempt any better? I'm wary.
 
2012-07-31 06:38:10 PM

Lsherm: I only made it through the first 15 seconds of the original video. Was her second attempt any better? I'm wary.


She corrected the tempo and rhythm the second time around, and did a better job of sticking with one key.
 
2012-07-31 06:41:24 PM
With proper coaching and lots of work, she actually would be a good singer. She clearly doesn't know how to breathe correctly or to keep a steady tempo singing a capella, but both of these things can get better with practice and time. At this point, it seems like her training consists of singing along with songs on the radio and her mom telling her how special and wonderful she is.
 
2012-07-31 06:42:17 PM

tudorgurl: That whole area (Southlake-Carroll, Coppell, Frisco, et al) is stuffed chock full of snooty, overstuffed wannabes who think they belong on the television and deserve to be instantly rich and famous.


That whole area? Those towns aren't even remotely connected.
 
2012-07-31 06:44:06 PM
alright, if I were given a choice to listen to either version of her singing the song or jump out of a jumbo jet at 35,000 feet wearing a dress and matching pumps I would ask if I could wear a slip as well for the added comfort before jumping out of said jet.. slip or not I would not hesitate leaping.. WITHOUT a chute...

I feel REAL bad for the guy that ends up .. umm.. chained to that gal..
 
2012-07-31 06:44:30 PM

bel4sucks: tudorgurl: That whole area (Southlake-Carroll, Coppell, Frisco, et al) is stuffed chock full of snooty, overstuffed wannabes who think they belong on the television and deserve to be instantly rich and famous.

That whole area? Those towns aren't even remotely connected.


Yes. Everything north and east of Fort Worth. :O)
 
2012-07-31 06:56:31 PM

tudorgurl: So, I played the original video and my dogs started howling. Really. My deaf dogs started howling.

And there are ZERO vuvuzeulas on that video. She's awful!


both this one and the original pissed off my cat.
 
2012-07-31 07:00:21 PM

MadAzza: I loathe this child.


Yeah, me too. She's awful. And the worst part is, she and her stage mother thinks she's great. Get some training, stop impersonating equally bad R+B warblers and learn to SING THE SONG. Seriously, I just can't stand the way pop singers all think they have to sex up the National Anthem. It's an awful tune anyway, and the stupid whooping just makes it worse. Little monsters like this are the natural result.

I blame Whitney Houston. She started this whole nonsense.
 
2012-07-31 07:03:04 PM

NorCalLos: Look, I know everything nowadays has to be the everythingest ever in the history and future of spacetime, but her original performance wasn't worse than Roseanne's, nor Rebecca Black's recorded/studio version of her song that had accompaniment. .


Roseanne was doing a deliberately bad performance. She's a comedienne who doesn't sing, so she assumed they wanted a "funny" version. It was awful, but she was trying as hard as possible to make it that bad.

Carl Lewis set the standard for "actually trying and still sucking," but his was at least funny. This is just utter shiat.
 
2012-07-31 07:22:07 PM

stinkyboss: both this one and the original pissed off my cat.


So, not a complete loss.....
 
2012-07-31 07:22:09 PM

Sgt Otter: NorCalLos: Look, I know everything nowadays has to be the everythingest ever in the history and future of spacetime, but her original performance wasn't worse than Roseanne's, nor Rebecca Black's recorded/studio version of her song that had accompaniment. .

Roseanne was doing a deliberately bad performance. She's a comedienne who doesn't sing, so she assumed they wanted a "funny" version. It was awful, but she was trying as hard as possible to make it that bad.

Carl Lewis set the standard for "actually trying and still sucking," but his was at least funny. This is just utter shiat.


Right, both Roseanne's and Carl Lewis's renditions were worse than this young lady's. Lewis's was qutie funny. Thanks for sharing.
 
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