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(Press of Atlantic City)   Cult suspected in theft of body from mausoleum. With helpful, step-by-step instructions on how to steal a body from a mausoleum   (pressofatlanticcity.com) divider line 11
    More: Scary, Pleasantville, Middlesex County, Northern New Jersey, Nico Melendez, Pauline Spinelli  
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3531 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jul 2012 at 11:46 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-31 11:59:55 AM
4 votes:
When I worked at the mortuary prepping bodies for burial, we had this one guy come in who'd died of a heart attack while having sex. Unfortuneately, he'd been having sex with a goat at the time, which just ran off when the guy fell to the ground. Rigor mortis froze his boner, which was quite a record setter. I'd say twelve inches easy. The guy was a popular rancher, well liked around town, so the authorities kept the goat angle quiet. We expected hundreds of people at the viewing. We couldn't very well have him out there with a twelve inch gouger stretching the crotch of his slacks. I tried tying it to his thigh, but the twine kept breaking. I tried pulling it backward and underneath hoping his butt cheeks could hold it, but it kept popping back up before I could get his pants zipped. We were running out of time, so I didn't have any other choice but to chop it off with a pair of hedge clippers. I tucked it into his sport jacket's inside pocket and the viewing went off without a hitch.
2012-07-31 12:58:15 PM
1 votes:

spentmiles: When I worked at the mortuary prepping bodies for burial, we had this one guy come in who'd died of a heart attack while having sex. Unfortuneately, he'd been having sex with a goat at the time, which just ran off when the guy fell to the ground. Rigor mortis froze his boner, which was quite a record setter. I'd say twelve inches easy. The guy was a popular rancher, well liked around town, so the authorities kept the goat angle quiet. We expected hundreds of people at the viewing. We couldn't very well have him out there with a twelve inch gouger stretching the crotch of his slacks. I tried tying it to his thigh, but the twine kept breaking. I tried pulling it backward and underneath hoping his butt cheeks could hold it, but it kept popping back up before I could get his pants zipped. We were running out of time, so I didn't have any other choice but to chop it off with a pair of hedge clippers. I tucked it into his sport jacket's inside pocket and the viewing went off without a hitch.


spentmiles = worst speed dater ever
2012-07-31 12:37:00 PM
1 votes:
Really, how horrible!

[pulls out notepad and pencil]
2012-07-31 12:31:16 PM
1 votes:
Skull and Bones. Do you accept?
2012-07-31 12:16:18 PM
1 votes:
Cult not ruled out as involved in theft of body from mausoleum, subby. Lord help us if they apprehend the thieves and they find tanna leaves on them.
2012-07-31 11:56:21 AM
1 votes:
First off, these type of people always suspect cults. There never are any.

Second, who wouldn't want the preserved remains of a 98 year old man.

/Blame the show Oddities on Discovery.
2012-07-31 11:52:55 AM
1 votes:
Step 1. : Locate corpse

Step 2: Steal it

Step 3: ??????

Step 4: Profit
2012-07-31 11:52:43 AM
1 votes:
i492.photobucket.com
2012-07-31 11:52:26 AM
1 votes:
Somebody must've wanted out real bad.
2012-07-31 11:50:30 AM
1 votes:
Is this a repeat from appx the first century,?
Somthin bout a guy being king of the juice...?
2012-07-31 11:49:02 AM
1 votes:
Wait until people find out that most bodies are removed from caskets before burial.
 
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