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(Uproxx)   Your sarcastic guide to alleged plot holes in 'The Dark Knight Rises'   (uproxx.com) divider line 28
    More: Amusing, pet peeves  
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12054 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 Jul 2012 at 11:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-07-31 01:03:53 PM
3 votes:
I, too, had serious issues with this movie.

1. Gotham City. This place doesn't exist and never has. It's a lie.

2. Commissioner Gordon, Bruce Wayne, and Alfred: These men look suspiciously like Gary Oldman, Christian Bale, and Micahel Kane. I don't think we actually were watching Batman at all, but some guy pretending to be him.

3. Bane's mask. I've been around many a hospital in my day and never have I seen a device that looks remotely similar to that.

4. How many hours are in a day? I swear, that movie claimed months had passed from the moment I sat down to the moment I left, but my watch said only about 2 hours had elapsed.

So yeah, big f*cking fail for that one.
2012-07-31 01:44:15 AM
2 votes:

stoli n coke: A bigger question is, how was Bane clean shaven during his time in the pit?


I think the movie would have been more believable if Bane had a hairy back.
2012-07-31 01:38:44 AM
2 votes:

GreenAdder: Riddle me this: Why did a bunch of completely clean-shaven cops come out of that hole after three months of captivity? Was Blake considerate enough to lower razors and shaving cream along with those messages?


Damn straight. That's why he's Robin.
2012-07-31 12:47:23 AM
2 votes:

susansto-helit: I won't get into my own personal wish list for bad guys I'd have liked to see Nolan take on, but the League of Shadows has always been a bit of a bore to me.


It's Calendar Man. Admit it.
2012-07-31 11:04:45 AM
1 votes:

Funbags: Was there any particular reason the prisoners in the pit couldn't just haul a couple long planks of wood to bridge the gap of that ledge?


I was told in another thread yesterday it was because there were no Home Depots down there.

Bane kept sending down food and shaving kits down to the police force that he was going to blow up anyway because he's a nice guy and who cares it's about a movie where a dude dresses up as a bat.
2012-07-31 10:58:47 AM
1 votes:

Wellon Dowd: I want to know why Superman left a con trail.


You mean chem trail, right?

Superman is putting chemicals in the air, which make us believe he's here to help!
2012-07-31 10:14:33 AM
1 votes:
Now I have a question for you: Why would a man with a shirt that says "Genius at Work" be watching a movie for children?
2012-07-31 10:10:26 AM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Now my one issue with the movie?

How Lt. Gordon is still alive at the end when he was trapped in a giant metal box with a highly radioactive bomb. The truck could set off geiger counters from the outside, yet he's climbing all over it and planting radio blockers on it and falling off bridges with it.

He should've at least been losing hair by the end.



The twist is that everyone in Gotham dies from cancer 6 months later. The end.
2012-07-31 09:37:52 AM
1 votes:
Just thought I'd chip in and repeat a comment I've read on another forum:

(Paraphrasing) The timer on the "bomb" wasn't counting down to detonation, just to when the core would become unstable, so it's feasible that Batman actually had more time to get away from Gotham.

You might argue that that's incorrect, but personally I think if you're prepared to drag up various articles and journal articles about the behavior of fusion reactors, then you're really going out of your way to not enjoy yourself.

/Enjoyed the film, quibbles and all
//Only thing that bothers me is I would have liked another movie to slip in before the League of Shadows return
2012-07-31 09:19:59 AM
1 votes:

Wellon Dowd: I want to know why Superman left a con trail.


A full bladder at the sound barrier can lead to issues even for a man with a steel urethra.
2012-07-31 08:59:48 AM
1 votes:

serial_crusher: Also keep in mind that we never see that there are any incompetent cops, just cops who aren't privy to the same information the audience is and jerk cops.

Um, they sent the entire police force into the sewers to look for Bane? That's pretty incompetent. Even if he hadn't trapped them down there, who were they counting on to stop all the regularly scheduled crimes happening on the surface?


What kind of city would do stupid things like that?
Maybe a city that needed the Goddamn Batman to watch over it.

/Considering the scale of event Bane had planned, using all of your forces to stop him might have seemed like a good idea at the time.
/As good an idea as dressing up in a costume instead of paying your old league of shadow contacts to do the patrolling for you.
/Its a superhero movie, not a documentary. Once you get past that you can eat the popcorn and enjoy it.
2012-07-31 08:58:30 AM
1 votes:

Imperious Rex!: BafflerMeal: Digitalstrange: GreenAdder: Why didn't Batman lower the goddamn rope once he got to the top of the pit? He could have helped the people who helped him.
And don't say, "those prisoners deserved to be in there." How do you know that? Bane farking put them in there. Do you think he's a good arbiter of right and wrong?

he didn't wear the rope the final time. That was the point. If you wore the rope you had a safety net.

Except for the *giant* pile of coiled rope right by the edge at the top as he climbed out that he chose not to lower back in...

Yeah....except that he did throw that giant pile of coiled rope back down into the pit.


I always thought it would be an awesome prank to cut two different versions of the same movie and not tell anybody, only changing minor details. Maybe they finally pulled it off?
Because seriously, how the hell could somebody have noticed the big pile of freaking rope, but then missed Bruce Wayne tossing the rope down to them?

That also helps answer the question of how he got back to Gotham. Bane has powerful enemies. Those powerful enemies now owe Batman a favor.
2012-07-31 08:34:54 AM
1 votes:
I thought I b*tched about a lot of stupid stuff, but after reading this thread.......
2012-07-31 08:15:37 AM
1 votes:
Bain's Stock Scam Would Never Work In The Real World

But it did to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars
2012-07-31 08:03:13 AM
1 votes:

Stile4aly: As far as damage done to the ocean, we've set off dozens of weapons in the Pacific without any significant damage to the ocean.


cdn.screenrant.com
The ocean, no, but Japan is under constant monster attack.
2012-07-31 06:41:21 AM
1 votes:
I loved the movie. My only issue is why there wasn't footage of the orphans' eyes crisping in their sockets when they took it upon themselves to stare wide-eyed at a four megaton nuclear blast happening only six miles away.
2012-07-31 02:36:41 AM
1 votes:
He clearly threw a rope down the hole for the others, I don't know how you could miss that.


....... And they all lived happily ever after.
2012-07-31 02:24:57 AM
1 votes:

cetacei: The Nolan "Batman" movies were the worst trilogy since Episodes 1-3 of Star Wars. Maybe the next reboot will get Batman right. Nolan's movies were a pseudo-intellectual, boring mess. Nolan must either hate superheroes or he must just not understand them at all. Making a "realistic" superhero movie is a nonsensical goal. The essence of superheroes is that they represent escapism, not reality. It's very hard to take something that is essentially fantastic and put it in a "realistic" setting. Remember the live-action Flintstones movies and the reception they received? It's a similar concept. Maybe it's possible to do that with Batman. Obviously Nolan is not the director to do it.

Now he's off to ruin Superman for another generation. There won't be a Justice League movie for decades to come. And people wonder why Marvel is miles ahead in getting their characters translated into movies successfully.


You're right, these movies bombed just like that flintstones movie. How would you prefer your Batman? With nipples and a bat credit card? In the words of the freezinator, "chill out"


//Ice to meet you
2012-07-31 02:20:12 AM
1 votes:

Strolpol:
I was also considerably bothered by just how much they bang that nuke around. I mean, no one else flinched when the truck carrying the nuke did a nose-dive? How about when he hooks it up to his plane and starts DRAGGING IT around?

It would have been poetic justice to have it go off when he banged it against a streetlight or something.



Wasn't so much bothered by it, but found it hysterical as he kept banging the "highly unstable" device through half of Gotham before reaching altitude. It almost felt like an homage to Adam West sprinting around with that giant bomb. Link

Most of the other "plot holes" didn't bother me. It's a comic book movie, there's always going to be some contrivance, even with the veneer of realism Nolan's putting on it.

/did also enjoy "Doctor, turn this reactor into a nuclear bomb" *cut away* "Ok, here you go this is totally a bomb now".
2012-07-31 02:07:34 AM
1 votes:
Why is it that they bother giving Batman a really effective dart gun to drug goons, but when the final battle with Bane rolls around, he goes right back to the "punch him a bunch" strategy that failed the first time he tried it? Then Nolan cops out by just having Catwoman blast him from offscreen so Batman can keep his hands clean?

I was also considerably bothered by just how much they bang that nuke around. I mean, no one else flinched when the truck carrying the nuke did a nose-dive? How about when he hooks it up to his plane and starts DRAGGING IT around?

It would have been poetic justice to have it go off when he banged it against a streetlight or something.
2012-07-31 01:53:57 AM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
Rob says: "I think the movie would have been better with more pouches on everyone. Like in the comics. We just get Bruce Wayne out of the way, have someone else play Batman, and..."
i.imgur.com
"See how much cooler that would have made the movie? We just need to make it a little more realistic so it works in a movie setting."
i.imgur.com
"Yeah! Now that's a Batman worth my $8.50. Imagine that guy beating up Bane instead of Christian Bale. That would have made the movie at least one hundred times more awesome. If I'm lying, I'm drawing feet."
2012-07-31 01:48:33 AM
1 votes:

BafflerMeal: Except for the *giant* pile of coiled rope right by the edge at the top as he climbed out that he chose not to lower back in...


You must have seen the "not helping" cut. The version I saw, he CLEARLY knocked a massive coil of rope down into the pit.
2012-07-31 01:33:25 AM
1 votes:

Imperious Rex!: BafflerMeal: Digitalstrange: GreenAdder: Why didn't Batman lower the goddamn rope once he got to the top of the pit? He could have helped the people who helped him.
And don't say, "those prisoners deserved to be in there." How do you know that? Bane farking put them in there. Do you think he's a good arbiter of right and wrong?

he didn't wear the rope the final time. That was the point. If you wore the rope you had a safety net.

Except for the *giant* pile of coiled rope right by the edge at the top as he climbed out that he chose not to lower back in...

Yeah....except that he did throw that giant pile of coiled rope back down into the pit.


cdn.overclock.net
2012-07-31 12:38:17 AM
1 votes:

Digitalstrange: My explanation for why the Wayne Enterprises board didn't question the legitimacy of the stupid trading by Bruce Wayne even though it happened under suspicious circumstances.

There were 2 catagories of people on the board:

1 People on the take from Daggett/Bane

2 People who knew Bruce as the spoiled trust fund baby who fell asleep in meetings with the Chinese mobster that he wanted to get in bed with until the guy was arrested for being involved with every organized crime group in Gotham and then shuttered an alternative energy project he sunk the entire companys assets into when rumors say it was close to working.

3 people who saw which way the wind was blowing

1) Your normal boardmembers who would do anything to make a profit and get more money for themselves

2) Wayne loyalists- and I think Lucius Fox was pretty much it for category 2


My reading of it (though truly I agree with you)
2012-07-30 11:59:45 PM
1 votes:
My sarcastic comments for a shiatty website with slideshow articles.
2012-07-30 11:56:06 PM
1 votes:
I thought Heath Ledger was the worst villian ever. Should've learned a thing or two from Revenge of the Fallen and done it right...
2012-07-30 11:33:21 PM
1 votes:
Wow, that's a terribly written article.
2012-07-30 11:08:12 PM
1 votes:
FTFA: My problem with the articles I've been seeing is that they try to elevate personal dislike or minor errors into a gross artistic mistake. Just like Jim Emerson's disgraceful video about how The Dark Knight had, like, totally crappy editing, this isn't about the movies. It's about appointing oneself the supreme arbiter of taste above all those disgusting little plebs.

I really couldn't have agreed with that more. There's quite a few Farkers that think that their opinions are the final word on everything. The comment is usually filled with a lot of name calling and cries to the heavens about how they're the only ones stuck with the intellectual burden of telling all of us how we should really feel about a movie.
 
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