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(The Sun)   Pretty 18-year-old eats nothing but chips 'n' cheese, can't find a boyfriend (w/pics)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 280
    More: Dumbass, InBev, chicken nuggets, white-breads, addictions  
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56940 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jul 2012 at 5:33 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-29 12:09:02 PM

2wolves: She has the eyes of a shark.


But the tits a porn star would kill for.
I'd punch that great white on the nose. And by the nose, I mean

/What?
 
2012-07-29 12:10:32 PM

MAYORBOB: Eeew, mum. I'm feeling me cheesy chips coomin' oop agayn.


Fixed that for ye.
 
2012-07-29 12:12:39 PM

happydude45: Well I like greasy haired girls with double-chinned faces and saggy tits.


FTFY
 
2012-07-29 12:17:12 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: Nice try. Just because a man isnt attracted to fat emo girls with saggy tits, you assume he is a basement dweller?


There's a difference between "not attracted to" and "way below my standards," you know. You're on studman69's end of the scale.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-07-29 12:19:30 PM

happydude45: Well I like dark haired girls with pretty faces and big tits.


Two out of three works for me and she certainly has 2 things going for her.
 
2012-07-29 12:25:25 PM
itswarm.com
 
2012-07-29 12:25:33 PM
Aw, she has a sad :(
 
2012-07-29 12:26:24 PM
Why has everyone buried the lead here? She's f*ckin insane! Has Steve McNair not taught us anything?
 
2012-07-29 12:26:34 PM

PhiloeBedoe: [i1079.photobucket.com image 456x576]


Freshen your drink, governor? Seriously, my UK brothers, you guys got hosed on hot girls. She looks like her face is experiencing cluster strokes.
 
2012-07-29 12:33:22 PM
img.photobucket.com

/also applies to "pretty", "cute", "would hit it"
//double points for the Sun, Daily Fail, or your favo(u)rite British rag
///seriously people, stop clicking
 
2012-07-29 12:33:24 PM

Owangotang: Why has everyone buried the lead here? She's f*ckin insane! Has Steve McNair not taught us anything?


Never stick your dick in cheesy chips?
 
2012-07-29 12:37:21 PM

some_beer_drinker: what the fark is wrong with her eye?


Yeah, bad skin/makeup and a hinky eye ain't helping anything.
 
2012-07-29 12:43:38 PM

MAYORBOB: Owangotang: Why has everyone buried the lead here? She's f*ckin insane! Has Steve McNair not taught us anything?

Never stick your dick in cheesy chips?


Spoken like someone who's never tried it.

/the trick is to wait for the fries to cool down first so you don't burn yourself.
 
2012-07-29 12:45:08 PM

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 770x388]

/also applies to "pretty", "cute", "would hit it"
//double points for the Sun, Daily Fail, or your favo(u)rite British rag
///seriously people, stop clicking


That's more accurate than most, really. At least she's actually smoking.
 
2012-07-29 01:02:30 PM
i244.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-29 01:08:02 PM

Uncle Tractor: The more you eat the more you fart: Nice try. Just because a man isnt attracted to fat emo girls with saggy tits, you assume he is a basement dweller?

There's a difference between "not attracted to" and "way below my standards," you know. You're on studman69's end of the scale.


No...your attempt to be snarky fails miserably because, well, she IS below my standards.
 
2012-07-29 01:09:05 PM

happydude45: Well I like dark haired girls with pretty faces and big tits.


FTFM.
 
2012-07-29 01:09:44 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: happydude45: Well I like dark haired girls with pretty faces and big tits.

FTFM.


I lol'd
 
2012-07-29 01:10:57 PM

Blackwind: 2wolves: She has the eyes of a shark.

But the tits a porn star would kill for.
I'd punch that great white on the nose. And by the nose, I mean

/What?


Wtf...are you blind?!

So porn stars would kill for nasty saggy lopsided tits?
 
2012-07-29 01:11:35 PM

gulogulo: where I have all the symptoms of a panic attack (heart racing, sweating, increased rate of breathing)


um, if you have all of the symptoms of a panic attack, then you are having a panic attack.
(been there , done that, thank god for lorazepam!)
 
2012-07-29 01:16:35 PM

gulogulo: As someone who has Selective Eating Disorder, though not to the degree she has (I'll eat lots of foods, but there is an entire food group I have a strong aversion to), I can say it's really difficult to get over and hard to explain. I've been like this for as long as I can remember (and yes, my parents really did try to help me), and no, no one ever 'traumatized' me with the food I avoid. THe reaction, however, is very similar to a phobia, where I have all the symptoms of a panic attack (heart racing, sweating, increased rate of breathing) when presented with the food ...even if I tell myself that I logically know it can't hurt me. How do you explain that to people?

And yes, everyone thinks the cure is to just 'try it' and I might like it...when I can't even get myself to chew or swallow, that's kind of out of the question. It is similar to if someone handed you a rotten piece of meat, stinking to high heaven and covered in maggots and told you to just 'try it'. Imagine how hard it would be to force it down?


Google "high meat paleo" and prepare to be horrified...

That said, I have an actual simple phobia (to a common object, odd enough that no one would suspect it so it's fairly easy to just avoid the thing without people noticing I'm behaving strangely or anything) and can't possibly imagine being confronted with having to EAT one of those items. Just. Can't.

So yeah I'm a bit sympathetic, if that's how it is. Still, at least in your case it seems you can maybe just casually avoid the group in question? Enough other stuff on a normal menu you can do?

Thing with phobias (and presumably this disorder too if that's how it is) is they're not logical or rational in any way. Conscious brain knows damn well it's silly but the lizard brain keeps veto power.
 
2012-07-29 01:21:03 PM
Resetting patterns of behavior is commonly done using cognitive behavioral therapy. (from the wikipedia article)

in some ways, this is a trivial problem to solve
1) therapist who actually works with CBT
tada finished

dietician? LOL not needed
chef? LOL not needed

the therapist can determine if it is smell, texture, taste, whatever and trivially work out a plan with baby steps.
(vary the cheese, add small amounts of soft tofu, add a couple pieces of mixed root vegis, weak broths, leading to more complex soups, etc, etc,)

or she can QQ about not having a boy and baby. LOL
 
2012-07-29 01:24:17 PM

itazurakko: Google "high meat paleo" and prepare to be horrified...


Link
Nothing horrifying here.
WTF are you talking about??
 
2012-07-29 01:26:01 PM
www.toptenz.net
Sloth love chips n cheese!
 
2012-07-29 01:28:23 PM
 
2012-07-29 01:33:51 PM
stop calling them chips they're clearly CRAP

now THESE
these are CHiPS

theatomicgeeks.com
 
2012-07-29 01:36:49 PM

itazurakko: namatad: WTF are you talking about??

High meat (link pops to some forum thread). Most raw paleo people don't go for high meat, but some do...

High meat is rotten meat. Raw chicken, left to ferment in a jar and aired once every day or so to get the bacteria really going. So yeah, it's possible someone might offer you rotten meat to eat.

One of the episodes of "Wife Swap" in the US had one of the families eating all raw, including high meat. The visiting wife just refuses to eat it (that family had other weird issues also).


people who think they are eating a paleolithic diet are clueless as to what paleolithic humans actually ate.

There's a reason all those remains have bad teeth. Turns out they ate a lot of seeds. In fact, they ate huge quantities of low-yield food - food that was mostly fiber and roughage - and pretty much spent their day alternately eating and pooping.
 
2012-07-29 01:36:55 PM

gulogulo: As someone who has Selective Eating Disorder, though not to the degree she has (I'll eat lots of foods, but there is an entire food group I have a strong aversion to), I can say it's really difficult to get over and hard to explain. I've been like this for as long as I can remember (and yes, my parents really did try to help me), and no, no one ever 'traumatized' me with the food I avoid. THe reaction, however, is very similar to a phobia, where I have all the symptoms of a panic attack (heart racing, sweating, increased rate of breathing) when presented with the food ...even if I tell myself that I logically know it can't hurt me. How do you explain that to people?

And yes, everyone thinks the cure is to just 'try it' and I might like it...when I can't even get myself to chew or swallow, that's kind of out of the question. It is similar to if someone handed you a rotten piece of meat, stinking to high heaven and covered in maggots and told you to just 'try it'. Imagine how hard it would be to force it down?


mimg.ugo.com

Consult your Inner Spirit Guide, Doctor Kinison on how to solve this problem. Repeat whatever message you want to give yourself in his voice.
 
Skr
2012-07-29 01:43:59 PM
At first I was like "Tits!" but then I imagined they must smell like the chips-n-cheese equivalent of cheetos-n-mntdew. No es bueno.
 
2012-07-29 01:44:15 PM
Oh, is this the thread were we talk shiat about a girl we would totally bang to make ourselves feel superior.

Or is it the one where I become morally indignant in defense of my penis wishes?

OR IS IT BOTH?!
 
2012-07-29 01:49:28 PM

Opiate of the Lasses: I love how she "slimmed down" to 13 stone. Stone is such a quaint measurement it doesn't give you the full picture of her lardassness. 13 stone is 182 lbs.

/although I have farked worse


Yeah, but from the looks of it, her boobs are at least a stone.
 
2012-07-29 01:51:15 PM

Asa Phelps: There's a reason all those remains have bad teeth.


Modern people who are into some of this faddishness will brush their teeth with butter and clay, too.

When it comes to weird diets, the internet never fails to provide fascinating wtfery. Quite a lot of diet evangelists out there particularly for the more whaaaaat? stuff.
 
2012-07-29 01:54:34 PM
I just realized... the Sun isn't a legitimate news publication, is it?

It's the only way to explain how every article they publish increases my resolve to never set foot in the UK.
 
2012-07-29 02:04:02 PM
I'd let her lick the cheese off my potato.

www.reviewtheworld.com
and I don't really mind if she gags
 
2012-07-29 02:05:11 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

224 lbs.
 
2012-07-29 02:13:09 PM
Honestly, if her eyes weren't so weirdly unfocused and if her skin was a bit nicer, she'd look all right.
 
2012-07-29 02:20:20 PM
Looks aside (and she does, indeed, look aside) I could never be physical with a person whose diet is mostly junk food, booze, and cigarettes. The acrid stench oozing from her enlarged pores would make the I-95 through Brunswick, Georgia smell like fresh mountain air.
 
2012-07-29 02:21:36 PM
She just has to focus, and everything will clear up
 
2012-07-29 02:32:31 PM
Seems like Jon is the kewl forgot he wasn't on 4chan today.
 
2012-07-29 02:50:34 PM
She is farkable on a bender. And most fat girls are freaks in the sheets. Are highly disapointng who give up the ass and then think you are going to be their husband because you got to poke them in what might or might not have been their vagina or a fat roll.

She has been made up by the studio obviously wearing spanks, and the little half sweaters that all fat chicks used to hide their mud flaps.

Look at mom, who is also obese, who has always giving in to the whims of her daughter.

She is farkable because she has a vagina, but seriously, whole lotta issues, and is an AW.

She is the brit version of kellynoel.
 
2012-07-29 03:03:52 PM

theflatline: She is farkable on a bender. And most fat girls are freaks in the sheets. Are highly disapointng who give up the ass and then think you are going to be their husband because you got to poke them in what might or might not have been their vagina or a fat roll.

She has been made up by the studio obviously wearing spanks, and the little half sweaters that all fat chicks used to hide their mud flaps.

Look at mom, who is also obese, who has always giving in to the whims of her daughter.

She is farkable because she has a vagina, but seriously, whole lotta issues, and is an AW.

She is the brit version of kellynoel.


I lol'd at "the little half sweaters that all fat chicks used to hide their mud flaps"
 
2012-07-29 03:16:00 PM
The more you eat the more you fart: So porn stars would kill for nasty saggy lopsided tits?

Given how many bad boob jobs there are in porn, it's apparently not out of the question...
 
2012-07-29 03:16:37 PM
a little breast reduction and a little exercise to at least slim down her chin, and she'd be cute.

except for the crossed eyes. I hate that.
 
2012-07-29 03:21:50 PM
hell i'm not ashamed to admit i would have no problems asking her out
 
2012-07-29 03:25:45 PM

aesirx: a little breast reduction and a little exercise to at least slim down her chin, and she'd be cute.

except for the crossed eyes. I hate that.


You mean breast LIFT right? The size is good. The sag is not.
 
2012-07-29 03:28:47 PM
I'd hit it. In the words of Dave Attell, "They say she's retarded. But 'dem titties ain't retarded".
 
2012-07-29 03:38:30 PM
Thread recap:

Sniper-eyed brit girl eats shiatty food and gets fat. Also, has huge tracts of land.
 
2012-07-29 03:41:01 PM
If she was a prostitute and half Spanish and half Canadian as well, she would be a real poutina
 
2012-07-29 03:47:17 PM
Yeah, sorry, she has a bad case of derpface. Would still, but i have to bring that up.
 
2012-07-29 03:47:53 PM
British standards.
 
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