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(Facebook)   The next Star Trek movie has been officially announced. "Excelsior" will be fabulous   (facebook.com) divider line 138
    More: Cool, Star Trek movie, Star Trek, Lisa Lampanelli, Ricardo Montalban, Gilbert Gottfried, J. J. Abrams  
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10169 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Jul 2012 at 6:30 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-28 02:52:09 PM  
Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket.
 
2012-07-28 02:56:36 PM  

bloobeary: Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket.


Oh, my.
 
2012-07-28 03:05:32 PM  

bloobeary: Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket should have been enough to tell you that this is a joke.

 
2012-07-28 03:07:17 PM  

bloobeary: Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket.



I'm a bit confused about that. Surely they don't mean that he was Sulu's first officer. Official first contact with the Ferengi wasn't until 2364, so unless Sulu was captain of the Excelsior for more than 75 years, I can't see how he could have had a Ferengi First Officer.

Something is amiss.
 
2012-07-28 03:21:43 PM  

kronicfeld: That alone should have been enough to tell you that this is a joke.


Well, that and the idea that J.J. Abrams actually cares about Trek continuity.
 
2012-07-28 03:24:54 PM  
Live long and prosper, True Believers.
 
2012-07-28 03:29:57 PM  
Stardate: April Fool's Day 2012.
 
2012-07-28 03:30:38 PM  
Isn't it a little late to be submitting joke posts from April 1st?
 
2012-07-28 03:33:36 PM  
fark J.J. Abrams sideways with rake. That man is responsible for putting out some of the worst offenses to writing I've ever seen. The man makes his living selling sheer, unmitigated crap. Oh, sure, he's good at hooking people, but he sucks at follow-throw.

J. J. Abrams: "Look! Look, I've got a pile of crap here!"
Fans: "My god, look at it, it's beautiful. Let us fawn over it incessantly."
[less than halfway into the series/movie]
Fans: "What the farking fark? This is CRAP!"
J. J. Abrams: [trollface]
 
2012-07-28 03:46:27 PM  

teto85: Stardate: April Fool's Day 2012.


Aw damn it! OK, I laughed.
 
2012-07-28 03:53:04 PM  

FloydA: bloobeary: Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket.


I'm a bit confused about that. Surely they don't mean that he was Sulu's first officer. Official first contact with the Ferengi wasn't until 2364, so unless Sulu was captain of the Excelsior for more than 75 years, I can't see how he could have had a Ferengi First Officer.

Something is amiss.


No, Capt., Archer and the Enterprise NX-01 made contact with the Ferengi in 2151. Picard encountered them in 2355, in command of the Stargazer. At that time, they were still unidentified as a species. But the crew of the Enterprise 1701-D were still very unfamiliar with the Ferengi as of 2364, when official first contact was made. And it was made extremely clear by the crew of Deep Space 9 in 2373 that Nog was the first Ferengi in Starfleet.

So, yeah. Shenanigans.
 
2012-07-28 04:28:18 PM  

FloydA: bloobeary: Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket.


I'm a bit confused about that. Surely they don't mean that he was Sulu's first officer. Official first contact with the Ferengi wasn't until 2364, so unless Sulu was captain of the Excelsior for more than 75 years, I can't see how he could have had a Ferengi First Officer.

Something is amiss.


I came here to make this post. If he was still alive, Sulu was nearly 130 when Next Generation began. Humans can live that long in Star Trek, but he'd be an old admiral who didn't move around much, like McCoy. He definitely wouldn't be in command of a starship.

Let us weep for our wasted minds together.

Benevolent Misanthrope: No, Capt., Archer and the Enterprise NX-01 made contact with the Ferengi in 2151.


The word "Ferengi" was said to them in passing, but they didn't know what it meant.
 
2012-07-28 04:29:59 PM  
and Lisa Lampanelli (as a Bajoran security officer).


I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
 
2012-07-28 04:33:19 PM  

kingoomieiii: FloydA: bloobeary: Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket.


I'm a bit confused about that. Surely they don't mean that he was Sulu's first officer. Official first contact with the Ferengi wasn't until 2364, so unless Sulu was captain of the Excelsior for more than 75 years, I can't see how he could have had a Ferengi First Officer.

Something is amiss.

I came here to make this post. If he was still alive, Sulu was nearly 130 when Next Generation began. Humans can live that long in Star Trek, but he'd be an old admiral who didn't move around much, like McCoy. He definitely wouldn't be in command of a starship.

Let us weep for our wasted minds together.

Benevolent Misanthrope: No, Capt., Archer and the Enterprise NX-01 made contact with the Ferengi in 2151.

The word "Ferengi" was said to them in passing, but they didn't know what it meant.


Yeah, I misread the post I responded to. I stand by my dates as presented.
 
2012-07-28 04:34:08 PM  
Greenlighting an April Fool's joke posted on George Takei's facebook feed 2 months late?

really Fark?
 
2012-07-28 04:34:58 PM  
oops 3 and a half months late.

anyways..I'm going to go submit keyboard cat and see if I can get a green.
 
2012-07-28 04:36:29 PM  

Roook: Greenlighting an April Fool's joke posted on George Takei's facebook feed 2 months late?

really Fark?


Ah fark. There's no date on that page, but the event he's talking about was Mar 30-April 1 of this year.
 
2012-07-28 04:39:12 PM  

Roook: oops 3 and a half months late.

anyways..I'm going to go submit keyboard cat and see if I can get a green.


I wonder what Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes thinks about this news?
 
2012-07-28 04:46:01 PM  
Yeah, I remember we all had a good chuckle about this last spring.
 
2012-07-28 04:48:40 PM  
OMG! Someone submitted a funny link! We can't let that happen, it will ruin our oh-so-serious website. There's obviously a "laugh-by" date on all jokes.

Some Farkers REALLY need to lighten the fark up.

/ I happen to think April Fools Day jokes in July ARE funny
// not subby, either
 
2012-07-28 04:50:30 PM  
April 1.
 
2012-07-28 05:22:44 PM  

bloobeary: kronicfeld: That alone should have been enough to tell you that this is a joke.

Well, that and the idea that J.J. Abrams actually cares about Trek continuity.


Kind of the point - I laughed at loud at the Trekkies when Spock said that the time travel changed everything - no more continuity pantie-twisting.
 
2012-07-28 05:23:04 PM  
This is how far we've fallen? Greenlighting farking Facebook posts from April 1st in August?
 
2012-07-28 05:29:19 PM  

kingoomieiii: FloydA: bloobeary: Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket.


I'm a bit confused about that. Surely they don't mean that he was Sulu's first officer. Official first contact with the Ferengi wasn't until 2364, so unless Sulu was captain of the Excelsior for more than 75 years, I can't see how he could have had a Ferengi First Officer.

Something is amiss.

I came here to make this post. If he was still alive, Sulu was nearly 130 when Next Generation began. Humans can live that long in Star Trek, but he'd be an old admiral who didn't move around much, like McCoy. He definitely wouldn't be in command of a starship.

Let us weep for our wasted minds together.


Honestly, I'm not wasted yet, it's only 2:30... oh I see what you mean
 
2012-07-28 06:32:16 PM  

Man On A Mission: OMG! Someone submitted a funny link! We can't let that happen, it will ruin our oh-so-serious website. There's obviously a "laugh-by" date on all jokes.

Some Farkers REALLY need to lighten the fark up.

/ I happen to think April Fools Day jokes in July ARE funny
// not subby, either


Hey, do you have any good Easter jokes you'd like to share, while you're at it?
 
2012-07-28 06:37:34 PM  

Andric: Hey, do you have any good Easter jokes you'd like to share, while you're at it?


Some guy rose from the dead.
 
2012-07-28 06:39:22 PM  
*facedesk*

Thanks JJ Abrams you time twisting twat.
 
2012-07-28 06:46:26 PM  
i165.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-28 06:52:47 PM  

grokca: Andric: Hey, do you have any good Easter jokes you'd like to share, while you're at it?

Some guy rose from the dead.


Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey.
A: He hates being nailed to the boards.
 
2012-07-28 06:53:44 PM  
I'll just leave this here:

----------------------

Rotten Tomatoes Rankings of Star Trek Movies

Star Trek TMP - 47%

Star Trek II - 90%

Star Trek III - 77%

Star Trek IV - 84%

Star Trek V - 21%

Star Trek VI - 83%

Star Trek Generations - 48%

Star Trek First Contact - 92%

Star Trek Insurrection - 56%

Star Trek Nemesis - 38%

Star Trek (2009) - 95%
 
2012-07-28 06:57:05 PM  

fusillade762: Star Trek Generations - 48%


Really?
 
2012-07-28 07:01:15 PM  
April Fools Day came late this year?
 
2012-07-28 07:01:18 PM  

FloydA: bloobeary: Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi. That alone is worth the cost of a ticket.


I'm a bit confused about that. Surely they don't mean that he was Sulu's first officer. Official first contact with the Ferengi wasn't until 2364, so unless Sulu was captain of the Excelsior for more than 75 years, I can't see how he could have had a Ferengi First Officer.


Remember, Nero screwed up the timeline. Everything that happened during "Enterprise" happened. Everything changed on the day of J.T. Kirk's birth. The NCC_1701 crew will meet totally different beings and go to totally different planets from now on. "Next Generation" "DS9" and "Voyager" may never happen, or happen differently. Encounters with Q, the Ferengi, the Klingons, the Maqui, Cardassians, and The Borg my never happen, or happen at different places in history. We already have a severe alteration in the history with the Romulans from this movie alone.

In other words, Abrams can do what-ever-the-fark-he-wants, as long as the characters stay relatively constant (and by "relatively" I mean accounting for the history that has changed around them).
 
2012-07-28 07:01:38 PM  

GAT_00: fusillade762: Star Trek Generations - 48%

Really?


To be fair, Kirk's death was pretty shiatty. And the whole damn thing felt like a two part episode of the TV show, down to the cheap-ass reuse of the Bird of Prey/photon torpedo FX reuse.
 
2012-07-28 07:09:57 PM  

GAT_00: fusillade762: Star Trek Generations - 48%

Really?


Seems high, doesn't it?

And it's bullshiat that Trek 2 is less than the last one. I don't know how scientific these things are anyway.
 
2012-07-28 07:10:21 PM  

fusillade762: Star Trek III - 77%


I still say Search for Spock gets put down more than it deserves, probably because of that even/odd Trek movie "rule". It introduced "modern" Klingons, played by Chirstopher Lloyd and John Laroquette, as well as the Bird of Prey. They killed that waste of plot Kirk fathered. And they blew up the Enterprise (as opposed to crashing it because they let the ship's therapist drive).
 
2012-07-28 07:11:57 PM  

Mugato: GAT_00: fusillade762: Star Trek Generations - 48%

Really?

Seems high, doesn't it?

And it's bullshiat that Trek 2 is less than the last one. I don't know how scientific these things are anyway.


They mean nothing.

Everyone's who gives a damn to review a movie will log on immediately after seeing the movie and scream ZOMG BEST EVAR!, and their rating won't change a few years later when they realize a movie is average, at best.
 
2012-07-28 07:13:30 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: GAT_00: fusillade762: Star Trek Generations - 48%

Really?

To be fair, Kirk's death was pretty shiatty. And the whole damn thing felt like a two part episode of the TV show, down to the cheap-ass reuse of the Bird of Prey/photon torpedo FX reuse.


You forgot to do the whole hipster thing about hating the new movie because people like it.

Mugato: Seems high, doesn't it?


Seems low.
 
2012-07-28 07:16:51 PM  

NeoCortex42: fusillade762: Star Trek III - 77%

I still say Search for Spock gets put down more than it deserves, probably because of that even/odd Trek movie "rule". It introduced "modern" Klingons, played by Chirstopher Lloyd and John Laroquette, as well as the Bird of Prey. They killed that waste of plot Kirk fathered. And they blew up the Enterprise (as opposed to crashing it because they let the ship's therapist drive).


I've always said that very thing. It's a little dopey that they resurrected Spock at all but that was the premise, it's not the movie's fault. It had a lot of cool elements.
 
2012-07-28 07:17:24 PM  

NeoCortex42: And they blew up the Enterprise (as opposed to crashing it because they let the ship's therapist drive).


All she had to do was drive the saucer section away! All that three dimensional space out there and she couldn't avoid a planet?

/women
//lol
 
2012-07-28 07:18:06 PM  

GAT_00: Mugato: Seems high, doesn't it?

Seems low.


Ugh, Generations? That movie was a mess. Made no sense at all and Kirk's death (spoiler) was appalling.
 
2012-07-28 07:18:39 PM  

Mugato: NeoCortex42: fusillade762: Star Trek III - 77%

I still say Search for Spock gets put down more than it deserves, probably because of that even/odd Trek movie "rule". It introduced "modern" Klingons, played by Chirstopher Lloyd and John Laroquette, as well as the Bird of Prey. They killed that waste of plot Kirk fathered. And they blew up the Enterprise (as opposed to crashing it because they let the ship's therapist drive).

I've always said that very thing. It's a little dopey that they resurrected Spock at all but that was the premise, it's not the movie's fault. It had a lot of cool elements.


Trek III has the misfortune of being sandwiched between the most critically acclaimed of the original cast movies, and the most popular of the original cast movies.

Plus, it's the second part of a trilogy. It's going to lag in some spots.
 
2012-07-28 07:19:13 PM  

rewind2846: because they let the ship's therapist drive


I lol'd.
 
2012-07-28 07:20:17 PM  

rewind2846: NeoCortex42: And they blew up the Enterprise (as opposed to crashing it because they let the ship's therapist drive).

All she had to do was drive the saucer section away! All that three dimensional space out there and she couldn't avoid a planet?

/women
//lol


Then, in Nemesis, she crashed the Enterprise E.

Women drivers still suck in the 24th century.

/except Ensign Ro, and the DS9 broads.
//But Janeway? She couldn't even figure out the concept of connecting a timer detonator to a bomb!
 
2012-07-28 07:22:49 PM  

Mugato: GAT_00: Mugato: Seems high, doesn't it?

Seems low.

Ugh, Generations? That movie was a mess. Made no sense at all and Kirk's death (spoiler) was appalling.


I still don't get the rules of the nexus. They initially get into it by being on the Enterprise-B when the nexus runs into it. Yet the villain needed to blow up a solar system to get back instead of parking a shuttle in its path.
 
2012-07-28 07:24:35 PM  

NeoCortex42: I still don't get the rules of the nexus. They initially get into it by being on the Enterprise-B when the nexus runs into it. Yet the villain needed to blow up a solar system to get back instead of parking a shuttle in its path.


I could go on for hours about the plot holes in that film.
 
2012-07-28 07:25:01 PM  

GAT_00: fusillade762: Star Trek Generations - 48%

Really?


Yeah, I'd have figured around 60% myself.
 
2012-07-28 07:26:55 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: rewind2846: NeoCortex42: And they blew up the Enterprise (as opposed to crashing it because they let the ship's therapist drive).

All she had to do was drive the saucer section away! All that three dimensional space out there and she couldn't avoid a planet?

/women
//lol

Then, in Nemesis, she crashed the Enterprise E.

Women drivers still suck in the 24th century.

/except Ensign Ro, and the DS9 broads.
//But Janeway? She couldn't even figure out the concept of connecting a timer detonator to a bomb!


Speaking of Ro and DS9, I sometimes still wonder how much better DS9 could have been if the original plan to carry Ro over had gone through instead of the actress bailing.
 
2012-07-28 07:28:38 PM  

NeoCortex42: Mugato: GAT_00: Mugato: Seems high, doesn't it?

Seems low.

Ugh, Generations? That movie was a mess. Made no sense at all and Kirk's death (spoiler) was appalling.

I still don't get the rules of the nexus. They initially get into it by being on the Enterprise-B when the nexus runs into it. Yet the villain needed to blow up a solar system to get back instead of parking a shuttle in its path.


It wasn't superb, but it sure as fark wasn't better than Insurrection and barely better than TMP.
 
2012-07-28 07:29:14 PM  

GAT_00: NeoCortex42: Mugato: GAT_00: Mugato: Seems high, doesn't it?

Seems low.

Ugh, Generations? That movie was a mess. Made no sense at all and Kirk's death (spoiler) was appalling.

I still don't get the rules of the nexus. They initially get into it by being on the Enterprise-B when the nexus runs into it. Yet the villain needed to blow up a solar system to get back instead of parking a shuttle in its path.

It wasn't superb, but it sure as fark wasn't better than Insurrection and barely better than TMP.


Goddammit, WORSE than Insurrection.
 
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