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(Gainesville Sun)   Watch kiosk employee accused of masturbating on company time   (gainesville.com) divider line 46
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10802 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jul 2012 at 8:27 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-28 04:28:20 AM
Can you blame him? What the fark else is there to do all day, who wears a watch anymore? Youll maybe get one old lady a day who needs a battery replaced or something, but the rest of the day is just standing around, youre behind a counter with display cases, its not like you can go accost people like the persians at the nail care system kiosk do.

Dude, seriously, no thanks, do i look like the kind of guy who gives a fark about my nails? Know your customer.
 
2012-07-28 04:32:46 AM
That headline was misleading subby. I thought we could actually watch him masturbating in his kiosk.

/crestfallen
 
2012-07-28 06:17:32 AM

AbbeySomeone: That headline was misleading subby. I thought we could actually watch him masturbating in his kiosk.

/crestfallen

relieved to learn I was wrong
 
2012-07-28 08:05:44 AM
was his 'O face' analog or digital?
 
2012-07-28 08:31:25 AM
I don't know if Subby did that on purpose or not, but I must say, quite clever if so.
 
2012-07-28 08:33:26 AM
Surprised he got charged form what is in the article. Maybe there was more to it though. All that happened is he "seem startled" when she came up to him, walked away, and came back with his fly down.
 
2012-07-28 08:40:27 AM
I would rather not.
 
2012-07-28 08:42:27 AM
Dumb idea to jerk off at work, but it didn't sound like he was intentionally exposing himself but rather just got caught during what he thought, was a private moment..

Guy may either be really bored or may have issues. Fire him and maybe a little counseling is in order. I wouldn't be in any hurry to get him on the sexual offender's list quite yet.
 
2012-07-28 08:43:34 AM
His mugshot looks like the same level of guilt you see in a dog when it just pissed on the carpet.

Also, someone needs to tell him that the days of an effective comb over are long gone.
 
2012-07-28 08:45:19 AM
Brendon Michael Majchszak, 26, was charged with......

i47.tinypic.com

Oh, you poor bastard.
 
2012-07-28 08:47:00 AM
Subb-O is OK in my bOOk.

Pic of a real "O" face:

www.impactlab.net
 
2012-07-28 08:52:52 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-07-28 08:58:27 AM
www.thebeatlesonline.co.uk
 
2012-07-28 08:58:49 AM
And.......just because.

i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-28 09:03:15 AM
Boring job and going bald at 26? The witness should have at least let him finish.
 
2012-07-28 09:07:13 AM
When I was a little kid, my parents once asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said "I wanna watch!'

So they let me.

And I've been farked up ever since.

/not really
//but I didn't get the watch either
 
2012-07-28 09:09:16 AM
i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-28 09:11:38 AM
Give the guy some credit. He was getting paid for it.
 
2012-07-28 09:19:00 AM
Can't a man scratch his balls in peace?
 
2012-07-28 09:23:41 AM
subby: No. Proudly DNRTA.
 
2012-07-28 09:25:40 AM
The picture of him with the word enlarge under it made me laugh
 
2012-07-28 09:34:40 AM
What time is it if the big hand is on the 12, and the little hand is on your junk?

/time to go to jail, I guess...
 
2012-07-28 09:34:55 AM
He was strapping it?
 
2012-07-28 09:35:36 AM
Wow, subby, bravo.

+1
 
2012-07-28 09:36:21 AM
Is this where we play that drinking game?

OK me first. Back seat of the bus as it's going through downtown.

/no Portnoys allowed
 
2012-07-28 09:36:23 AM
If you hear someone say " Your fired!" while masturbating, don't stop, because now your on your own time.

// Dave Attell
 
2012-07-28 09:40:39 AM
Maybe he was on his break.
 
2012-07-28 09:43:49 AM
compound adjectives, how do they work?

watch kiosk employee =/= watch-kiosk employee
 
2012-07-28 09:50:29 AM
We had a young warehouse worker who thought everyone left for the day punch his clown in the boss's office, only to be caught mid-stroke by a returning employee who forgot something. Apparently his video of choice was large black lesbians. The boss thought it was funny, and even assigned him his own forklift, christened "spanky". He found new employment within a week. Guy that caught him knows a supervisor at his new job, and plans to tell him about spanky after they get to know him. Something like that just follows you around forever i guess.
 
2012-07-28 09:51:14 AM

Cyno01: What the fark else is there to do all day, who wears a watch anymore?



Hipsters, massive douchebags, and flaming twinks.

At least around this neck of the woods (south Florida).

Mostly.
 
2012-07-28 09:51:26 AM
She's lucky to even see an employee in Ikea.
 
2012-07-28 09:59:52 AM

clowncar on fire: Dumb idea to jerk off at work,


Whatever. Just take it to the restroom.
 
2012-07-28 10:13:13 AM

AbbeySomeone: That headline was misleading subby. I thought we could actually watch him masturbating in his kiosk.

/crestfallen


Are you Pee Wee or Fred?
 
2012-07-28 10:21:19 AM

6655321: AbbeySomeone: That headline was misleading subby. I thought we could actually watch him masturbating in his kiosk.

/crestfallen

Are you Pee Wee or Fred?


Probably just a woman. More than one of my girlfriends got off in this way.
 
2012-07-28 10:55:59 AM
FTA: "The report states that Majchszak appeared startled when the woman spoke to him, adding that he quickly walked away. When he came back to assist her, she noticed his zipper was open."

Last week I was shocked to discover I'd been walking around & riding the bus all afternoon with my zipper opened. There was nothing masturbation-related about it though: it's just that I'd forgotten to pull it up when I got dressed because I was too preoccupied with being pissed off at the gas company for making me pay $115 deposit AND produce a notarized Proof Of Identity form.

I'm glad I wear "tightie whities."
 
2012-07-28 11:04:28 AM

The One True TheDavid: FTA: "The report states that Majchszak appeared startled when the woman spoke to him, adding that he quickly walked away. When he came back to assist her, she noticed his zipper was open."

Last week I was shocked to discover I'd been walking around & riding the bus all afternoon with my zipper opened. There was nothing masturbation-related about it though: it's just that I'd forgotten to pull it up when I got dressed because I was too preoccupied with being pissed off at the gas company for making me pay $115 deposit AND produce a notarized Proof Of Identity form.

I'm glad I wear "tightie whities."


excuses excuses. why don't you go to the police station already and register yourself as a Level 5 sex offender
 
2012-07-28 11:07:56 AM
Fark needs a Gainesville tag.
 
2012-07-28 11:15:46 AM
ok.. this is a second "hand" story.. sorry pun not really intended.. but a buddy of mine years ago went into the office on Saturday, the place was empty. He walked into the mens room on the 7th floor and encountered the security guard pants around his ankles standing in front of the mirror junk in hand saying.. get this.. Hes at the 30, Hes at the 20.. Hes at the 10.. Touchdown!!

// i kid you not. both hilarious and disturbing at the same time.
 
2012-07-28 11:55:31 AM
This watch goes tick tick tick. And this watch goes fap fap fap.
 
2012-07-28 12:52:04 PM
This is how I met my wife

/she claims she didn't realize her penis was hanging out, but c'mon
 
2012-07-28 01:46:10 PM

Cyno01: Can you blame him? What the fark else is there to do all day, who wears a watch anymore? Youll maybe get one old lady a day who needs a battery replaced or something, but the rest of the day is just standing around, youre behind a counter with display cases, its not like you can go accost people like the persians at the nail care system kiosk do.

Dude, seriously, no thanks, do i look like the kind of guy who gives a fark about my nails? Know your customer.


A nice watch is about the only jewelry a man can wear without looking like a moron. A watch from a mall kiosk is a different story. Cheap Chinese movement, poor materials/construction etc.
 
2012-07-28 02:16:18 PM
Mr. Hand was there and he was there, so didn't that make it their time?"
 
2012-07-28 03:05:43 PM

Cyno01: ...who wears a watch anymore?



A man. A real man.

I loves my watches. WatchUSeek has been very bad for my wallet....
 
2012-07-28 03:56:57 PM
This guy has failed on so many levels. Whoa.
 
2012-07-28 07:04:25 PM
In the Navy; we caught a guy birthing his knuckle children in radar repair. Thereafter we referred to him as "Stroker Ace".
 
2012-07-29 08:54:06 PM

Tsar_Bomba1: Cyno01: ...who wears a watch anymore?


A man. A real man.

I loves my watches. WatchUSeek has been very bad for my wallet....


If you are ever going for an interview or going to impress an older generation, wear a damn nice analog watch.
Some folks who are 50+ year put a lot of weight on little things like that.
It's piddly shiat but it helps out.
Especially if they ask what time it is and you look at a watch instead of pulling out your cell phone.
Shows that you "know how to take care of yourself" and "not part of the useless generation"

\based on advice I've gotten from hiring managers and company owners who are friends and family.
 
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