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(Daily Mail)   One quarter of women admit to faking orgasm EVERY time they have sex with someone other than you   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 138
    More: Obvious, Meg Ryan, male contraceptives, orgasms, women admit, Dark Knight  
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8827 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jul 2012 at 10:07 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-28 12:43:13 PM
/faking it only makes us think we're doing it how you like, reinforcing what obviously actually is not working

Can I get this on a t-shirt, instead of the headline?

/tell us what works for you! You talk for hours about stuff nobody cares about, then go quiet when it's important
 
2012-07-28 12:50:12 PM

bingethinker: /faking it only makes us think we're doing it how you like, reinforcing what obviously actually is not working

Can I get this on a t-shirt, instead of the headline?

/tell us what works for you! You talk for hours about stuff nobody cares about, then go quiet when it's important


Please send $20, a plain white tee, and a sharpie to me and I'll send it back
 
2012-07-28 12:54:14 PM

bingethinker: /faking it only makes us think we're doing it how you like, reinforcing what obviously actually is not working

Can I get this on a t-shirt, instead of the headline?

/tell us what works for you! You talk for hours about stuff nobody cares about, then go quiet when it's important


If you really cared, you'd know without her having to tell you. If you really cared.
 
2012-07-28 12:55:04 PM
That's what's nice about oral, you can tell for sure when they orgasm then (WOMEN, that is. Although I guess that applies to men, too.)
 
2012-07-28 12:56:37 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2012-07-28 01:02:41 PM
Oh yeah, ladies? Well *I* faked EVERY orgasm!
 
2012-07-28 01:04:27 PM

itsdan: One quarter of woman admit to faking orgasm EVERY time they have sex with someone other than you not being able to communicate their feelings to their partners


THIS THIS THIS

If we think you like it, we'll keep doing it, rather than figure out how to do it differently so you actually will like it. You've yourself to blame if you're faking.
 
2012-07-28 01:12:58 PM
I come but she doesn't?

chan.catiewayne.com

/kidding ladies
 
2012-07-28 01:16:19 PM

topcon: That's what's nice about oral, you can tell for sure when they orgasm then (WOMEN, that is. Although I guess that applies to men, too.)


Ha. No you can't.
 
2012-07-28 01:20:28 PM

Rush's_pills: DrBrownCow: Krymson Tyde: Is this 1/4 woman related to Horatio?

That's not too obscure, is it?

Andy Griffith show episode when Opie is saving for his girlfriend's coat. Hilarious scene.

Poor Horatio...

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Post is funnier than the clip. I think I'm immune to folksy linguistic misunderstandings.
 
2012-07-28 01:24:43 PM
sprocketink.com

www.hardwired4life.com

But this is easier

www.gold-cash.com
 
2012-07-28 01:48:01 PM
Kinda ashamed to admit this, but: I'm a man and I've faked it, more than once. Sometimes it's hard, and I keep going and going, but never get "there".
 
2012-07-28 01:50:41 PM

JNowe: DeltaPunch: Vangor: itsdan: That's as bad as women who learn what guys like from crappy magazines.

100 secrets which drive men wild an issue, one issue every month, twelve months in a year; by now, there have been printed more secrets than a man has neurons to process them.

Don't forget 15 secrets to losing weight fast. Every single month. 12 months per year.

Yeah, between all the "how to please a man" articles and the weight-loss articles, I'm convinced that most women are buying the magazines for the shoe ads.


The teenagers buy it because they haven't figured out it's bunk yet, and the only adults who read it are in hair salons and wish their stylist would subscribe to something slightly interesting like Backpacking or Sunset.

\At least that's how it is for myself and the women I know.
 
2012-07-28 01:55:42 PM

One Bad Apple: InternetSecurityGuard: Ladies first. If she is a squirter, don't stop until you get a gusher. That can't be faked. Just don't mistake it for urination.

You don't see a contradiction there ?


There would only be a contradiction if he said 'don't mistake urination for female ejaculation'. But he didn't. He's just wants to make sure that when a squirt noob has it happen, they don't freak out and assume they just got pissed on.

Some fun facts:
1. ALL women are squirters. Some of them just do it more easily than others. It can be mechanically induced, whether she thinks she's capable, or even wants to.

2. It's near impossible for a woman to pee during sex, same as a man. Many women actually halt their own squirting orgasm, by thinking that weird, bladdery pressure they are feeling as they approach climax is them about to pee, so they hold back and miss the chance. If they give in to that peeing feeling and let it go, it's volcano time.
 
2012-07-28 02:17:57 PM

GDubDub: Kinda ashamed to admit this, but: I'm a man and I've faked it, more than once. Sometimes it's hard, and I keep going and going, but never get "there".


Where? Sin City? You all are sinners. The only time I've ejaculated is for procreation. Except for that dream I had involving Scarlett Johansson, a bacon sunday, a half-dwarf, some gel and a modified paper towel holder.
 
2012-07-28 02:26:33 PM

Summer Glau's Love Slave: Some of these comments frighten me terribly.

/Young dude.
//Turn 20 yrs old next month.
///Trying to decide if dating is worth the time and effort.
////Getting off of your lawn now.


If you can be Summer Glau's love slave, dating is definitely worth the time and effort.

Okay ladies, somewhere out there is a chick who fakes it all or most of the time. Odds say there's more than one. We need to hear from you.

Me and others are having a hard time understanding this. What are you thinking in not communicating your sexual wants to your partner so s/he can experience the REAL joy of pleasing you? Inquiring minds want to know.
 
2012-07-28 02:26:57 PM

thisisyourbrainonFark: GDubDub: Kinda ashamed to admit this, but: I'm a man and I've faked it, more than once. Sometimes it's hard, and I keep going and going, but never get "there".

Where? Sin City? You all are sinners. The only time I've ejaculated is for procreation. Except for that dream I had involving Scarlett Johansson, a bacon sunday, a half-dwarf, some gel and a modified paper towel holder.


Is a half dwarf really really small or mid way between normal and dwarf?
 
2012-07-28 03:18:21 PM

farkin_noob: I've never faked an orgasm. Why would I want to encourage a dude to do it wrong? It makes no sense.

Although I'm one of the lucky few that is multi-orgasmic. Yay me!


For women, it's more the lucky many that can multi. It's the unlucky few that have random issues and can't.

For men, it's something like 1 in 1000, and even that 1 generally requires training to not spit the juices that trigger the slump.

/You can feel like you're almost there after, usually right when she comes a second or third time, but can't quite crest again.
 
2012-07-28 03:22:10 PM

bugontherug: Okay ladies, somewhere out there is a chick who fakes it all or most of the time. Odds say there's more than one. We need to hear from you.
Me and others are having a hard time understanding this. What are you thinking in not communicating your sexual wants to your partner so s/he can experience the REAL joy of pleasing you? Inquiring minds want to know.


I don't have much of a dog in this fight, since destiny has decided that I will never have sex again and I don't fake orgasms as a rule, but the few times I DID fake it, it was like this: Things are not exactly going four-alarm fire. We continue. I realize that I"m not going to get "there" no matter how long we do it, and finally I tell him to give it up, it's been great, but it's not happening tonight.

He is miffed. WHAT? His sexual powers are not enough for me? I am not fainting in his arms from orgasmic delirium? So he keeps going, keeps trying things that he thinks will work. By this time it's long past time for anything to 'work' for me, so I politely try to tell him to get the fark off me. No, he wants to try something else. So I fake it, to spare his gentle ego, the one that can't handle a woman who can't have an orgasm on demand.

So, inquiring minds would also like to know this: what it is about "I'm all through here, let's try it another time" that you don't understand? Or does sex have a lot more to do with satisfying your ego by getting me off, than actually worrying about whether or not I'm "pleased?"

/nuttin on you, bugontherug. I like you OK. We've never had sex.
 
2012-07-28 03:22:41 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: This thread is veering from interesting into grotesque.

/Somebody toss it a spooge towel.


Here
i2.ytimg.com
 
2012-07-28 03:25:03 PM
Well they're not honest about anything else, so why should they be about sex?
 
2012-07-28 03:35:06 PM

cryinoutloud: topcon: That's what's nice about oral, you can tell for sure when they orgasm then (WOMEN, that is. Although I guess that applies to men, too.)

Ha. No you can't.


Sure you can. Not only does it start to taste different, if you're using a finger also, you can feel spasming. This is a few seconds after she grabs your head and makes sure you're not going anywhere. Now, maybe the spasming could be faked. But I don't see how the different excretion could be. For that matter, that might be unique to some women...I'm not talking about "squirters" here, something much less than that. If the woman I'm with is faking all this, she's doing a pretty good job.
 
2012-07-28 03:35:45 PM

GDubDub: Kinda ashamed to admit this, but: I'm a man and I've faked it, more than once. Sometimes it's hard, and I keep going and going, but never get "there".


Yeah too much alcohol (and certain other... stimulants) really suck when you're trying to get off and finish.

Which leads us nicely into my favorite story from Ferrett. Don't read if you're squeamish.
 
2012-07-28 04:11:29 PM
Who cares. Go make me a sammich or get out. Better yet, make me a sammich then get out.
 
2012-07-28 04:53:08 PM
i1172.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-28 04:57:27 PM
I wonder how many men fake that a woman gave them an orgasm, rather than the man giving himself an orgasm during sex? Anyone ever think about that? If she's just laying there while he does all the work, he's imagining someone else, or he's the only one ensuring he gets his orgasm (even if he's also trying to make sure she gets hers), is she really "giving him orgasm?"
 
2012-07-28 06:22:17 PM

Summer Glau's Love Slave: Some of these comments frighten me terribly.

/Young dude.
//Turn 20 yrs old next month.
///Trying to decide if dating is worth the time and effort.
////Getting off of your lawn now.


Fark everything in sight. NOW. Young, old, skinny, fat, stacked, flat, baitchy, nice, sober, drunk, and everything in between. Trust me on this. Leave the computer right now, and get to work. You'll have plenty of time to play on fark in your 30's when you finally get your two children to bed and your wife says she's to tired to screw around...

//If you don't have memories, you'll have nothing.
 
2012-07-28 07:02:26 PM

topcon: cryinoutloud: topcon: That's what's nice about oral, you can tell for sure when they orgasm then (WOMEN, that is. Although I guess that applies to men, too.)

Ha. No you can't.

Sure you can. Not only does it start to taste different, if you're using a finger also, you can feel spasming. This is a few seconds after she grabs your head and makes sure you're not going anywhere. Now, maybe the spasming could be faked. But I don't see how the different excretion could be. For that matter, that might be unique to some women...I'm not talking about "squirters" here, something much less than that. If the woman I'm with is faking all this, she's doing a pretty good job.


And some women, like the Mrs. Gleeman, get a bright red flush all over their face/chest when they come. Kinda difficult to fake that.
 
2012-07-28 07:33:20 PM
If men would learn how to have sex skillfully, then women wouldn't need to fake orgasms.

Foreplay, people. And be sure to be light on the touch. There's a reason musicians make better lovers than construction workers.

There are specific techniques one can use to drive your woman wild. Read a book.

If you want a happy relationship, make sure she orgasms before you do. And there are techniques to help with that too.

Take it slow. Take it easy. Pace yourself.

If you want her to go down on you, go down on her first.
 
2012-07-28 07:54:10 PM
If you're faking 100% of your orgasms, you're what's wrong with your sex life.
 
2012-07-28 09:49:17 PM

freespirited: And yes, I had my orgasm elsewhere.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-28 10:03:01 PM

jaedreth: If men would learn how to have sex skillfully, then women wouldn't need to fake orgasms.


If women wouldn't fake orgasms, men could learn to have sex skillfully.

Honestly, if someone fakes an orgasm they have no one to blame for their own sexual frustration but themselves.
 
2012-07-28 10:48:47 PM

italie: Summer Glau's Love Slave: Some of these comments frighten me terribly.

/Young dude.
//Turn 20 yrs old next month.
///Trying to decide if dating is worth the time and effort.
////Getting off of your lawn now.

Fark everything in sight. NOW. Young, old, skinny, fat, stacked, flat, baitchy, nice, sober, drunk, and everything in between. Trust me on this. Leave the computer right now, and get to work. You'll have plenty of time to play on fark in your 30's when you finally get your two children to bed and your wife says she's to tired to screw around...

//If you don't have memories, you'll have nothing.


Hard to disagree with this, it's pretty much spot on. Looking back, I have more "I should have slept with her" moments than "I should not have slept with her" moments.

/Well son, the funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't.
//And by the way, If you see your mom this weekend, will you be sure and tell her... SATAN SATAN SATAN!!!!
///oblig :D
 
2012-07-29 12:04:01 AM

WhippingBoy: If you really cared, you'd know without her having to tell you. If you really cared.


You know what though, if you've known her for half a year... yeah... you should know. Just like she should know you... Otherwise, both of you are doing it wrong.
 
2012-07-29 12:11:31 AM
Here's an idea,, If you're gay don't plan your wedding at a church that don't approve of homosexuality. If you're black, don't plan your wedding in a church that don't wanna be around black people. Is that to simple?
 
2012-07-29 04:18:20 AM

eggrolls: Their problem. If you don't ask for what you want, how can ever expect to get it?


I'm going to be honest in what I am imagining will be a hostile environment. Everyone thinks that women fake orgasms because there man does not know what his doing and they believe it is her fault because she is too stupid to say anything. Well I believe these thoughts are misguided.

My belief from life experience is this.

Young women don't fake orgasms, they experiment.
Older women fake orgasms and it is usually during a phase of life whereby sex is really not important to them. They don't fake because the man doesn't know the right things to do, he does know the right things to do because he is most likely her husband. They fake because no matter what he did they would not orgasm. An Orgasm for women is more than just clitoral stimulation it involves a lot of other factors and for many women age and child birth change that. So there may be a period of time and this maybe years that the woman does not enjoy sex. However, if she were just to refuse it that would have a possibly devastating effect on the marriage. So she has sex, fakes the orgasm and for that period of time things are normal. After a few years she starts feeling sexy again, starts feeling stimulation down in the vaginal region and true orgasms start. Now your probably saying well talk to your husband? Very good advice but the orgasms do not come and both people just feel bad because they keep trying stuff that only time will fix and in some cases hormonal tablets.

I believe most women who fake orgasms are not doing it because the guy is doing anything wrong.
 
2012-07-29 04:24:54 AM

cryinoutloud: bugontherug: Okay ladies, somewhere out there is a chick who fakes it all or most of the time. Odds say there's more than one. We need to hear from you.
Me and others are having a hard time understanding this. What are you thinking in not communicating your sexual wants to your partner so s/he can experience the REAL joy of pleasing you? Inquiring minds want to know.

I don't have much of a dog in this fight, since destiny has decided that I will never have sex again and I don't fake orgasms as a rule, but the few times I DID fake it, it was like this: Things are not exactly going four-alarm fire. We continue. I realize that I"m not going to get "there" no matter how long we do it, and finally I tell him to give it up, it's been great, but it's not happening tonight.

He is miffed. WHAT? His sexual powers are not enough for me? I am not fainting in his arms from orgasmic delirium? So he keeps going, keeps trying things that he thinks will work. By this time it's long past time for anything to 'work' for me, so I politely try to tell him to get the fark off me. No, he wants to try something else. So I fake it, to spare his gentle ego, the one that can't handle a woman who can't have an orgasm on demand.

So, inquiring minds would also like to know this: what it is about "I'm all through here, let's try it another time" that you don't understand? Or does sex have a lot more to do with satisfying your ego by getting me off, than actually worrying about whether or not I'm "pleased?"

/nuttin on you, bugontherug. I like you OK. We've never had sex.


Well said. Sometimes our sexual wants are for you to accept it isn't happening that day and give us the chance to go to sleep.
 
2012-07-29 06:01:59 AM

Nidiot: cryinoutloud: bugontherug: Okay ladies, somewhere out there is a chick who fakes it all or most of the time. Odds say there's more than one. We need to hear from you.
Me and others are having a hard time understanding this. What are you thinking in not communicating your sexual wants to your partner so s/he can experience the REAL joy of pleasing you? Inquiring minds want to know.

I don't have much of a dog in this fight, since destiny has decided that I will never have sex again and I don't fake orgasms as a rule, but the few times I DID fake it, it was like this: Things are not exactly going four-alarm fire. We continue. I realize that I"m not going to get "there" no matter how long we do it, and finally I tell him to give it up, it's been great, but it's not happening tonight.

He is miffed. WHAT? His sexual powers are not enough for me? I am not fainting in his arms from orgasmic delirium? So he keeps going, keeps trying things that he thinks will work. By this time it's long past time for anything to 'work' for me, so I politely try to tell him to get the fark off me. No, he wants to try something else. So I fake it, to spare his gentle ego, the one that can't handle a woman who can't have an orgasm on demand.

So, inquiring minds would also like to know this: what it is about "I'm all through here, let's try it another time" that you don't understand? Or does sex have a lot more to do with satisfying your ego by getting me off, than actually worrying about whether or not I'm "pleased?"

/nuttin on you, bugontherug. I like you OK. We've never had sex.

Well said. Sometimes our sexual wants are for you to accept it isn't happening that day and give us the chance to go to sleep.


I dunno. I guess to me the logical solution is to simply teach your man how to make you orgasm. Teach him how *you* to do it and give plenty of feedback while it's going on. By feedback I don't mean instructions and directions, but giving clear verbal cues when he starts to go in the right direction. Act like a metal detector, and let him know when he's getting closer to the nickels. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. Personally, I've never met a woman who didn't get driven to a screaming (usually gushing) orgasm in record time by getting thumb-farked from behind in doggystyle position, so that the thumb is hitting the G-spot, the pocket between the thumb and fingers is slamming against the pelvis, and the fingers are sliding over the clit. Works every time.
 
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