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(Daily Mail)   Study: Men and women can NEVER be 'just friends'   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 231
    More: Obvious, Cosmo Landesman, Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal, sexual interest  
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14262 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jul 2012 at 3:25 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-27 11:01:11 PM  
If one of them is fat and ugly, they can.
 
2012-07-27 11:02:36 PM  
Oh, bullsh*t
 
2012-07-27 11:08:36 PM  
I've been just friends with lots of girls. LOTS and lots of girls :/
 
2012-07-27 11:38:09 PM  
Men can be 'just friends' with women they don't want to sex. Women can be 'just friends' with men they don't want to sex. It's just that usually, the other person in a 'just friends' relationship does want the sexing. When neither partner wants to sex the other, they're not called 'just friends'; they're just called 'friends'. Also, unicorns are real.
 
2012-07-27 11:40:36 PM  
images.mylot.com
 
2012-07-27 11:48:31 PM  
Utter bullshiat from the Daily Mail. Not really a shocker.
 
2012-07-27 11:57:49 PM  
Female here, and most of my best friends have been male. It is entirely possible, especially if one or both are married. Helps that though I'm not ugly, I'm not a sex kitten either.
 
2012-07-28 12:38:16 AM  

NotARocketScientist: Female here, and most of my best friends have been male. It is entirely possible, especially if one or both are married. Helps that though I'm not ugly, I'm not a sex kitten either.


You do know that they both want to have hot sex with you, right? They just cannot tell you directly
 
2012-07-28 12:41:57 AM  
I think what the author is trying to say is that he wants to have every woman he knows. He wants to have them take off their clothes. He'll make it with them unless they say no 'cause he's a heterosexual man. He'll make it with them whenever he can.

I think that's fair to say.
 
2012-07-28 12:45:50 AM  

Aar1012: NotARocketScientist: Female here, and most of my best friends have been male. It is entirely possible, especially if one or both are married. Helps that though I'm not ugly, I'm not a sex kitten either.

You do know that they both want to have hot sex with you, right? They just cannot tell you directly


Do be fair the thought will nearly always cross our minds with just about any woman we meet unless she is completely repulsive. And believe me ladies, it takes actual effort to be that repulsive. We're simply wired to want to spread our genes far and wide.
 
2012-07-28 12:46:37 AM  
Apparently he thinks all guys are straight.
 
2012-07-28 12:47:05 AM  
I've never been in a relationship with a female friend that didn't involve some sort of sexual tension. Either I liked her or she liked me. Plenty of times this went nowhere but it was always there in the background. I had one of my best friends one time come up to me and tell me she loved me, because I was dating one of her friends. We promptly both pretended it never happened because it would have pretty much ruined a whole lot of other friendships in the process.
 
2012-07-28 01:00:18 AM  
Newsflash: assholes who try to cajole sex out of a woman through pretense of friendship think that every other guy is like them.

Newsflash: people are different and have different motives and feelings about certain situations.

I think some guys are just incredibly incapable of realizing the dynamic of a friendship, though. "Oh, I believe that the thought of her naked is nice, we can't really be called friends." What the fark ever.
 
2012-07-28 01:06:57 AM  
You can be "just friends" with someone, and also fark their brains out sometimes.

The problem is everyone wants to have sex but no one wants to give it up easy because society frowns on that.

If we were all like bonobos and just said "Hey, sex is fun." and did it all the time for no reason A: we'd be immune to STDs via darwinisms. B: there'd be no ZOMG RELATIONSHIPS IS TEH HARDNESS! kind of drama. If I like you, you like me and we fark, we can still be friends. I like you, you like me, we don't fark, we can still be friends. Problems arise when one person feels differently about the farking.
 
2012-07-28 01:12:23 AM  
I have plenty of female friends, but then again, I've been neutered after 23 years of marriage.

/dated her for quite a few years prior so we could put ourselves through college
 
2012-07-28 01:14:11 AM  
cdn0.hark.com

You know what a platonic friend is to a woman? It's like a dick in a glass case. "In case of emergency break open glass."

Men don't have platonic friends. We have women we haven't f*cked yet. "As soon as I figure this out, I'm in there."
 
2012-07-28 01:14:41 AM  
I think it totally depends on the man and the woman. I also think there can be sexual tension between them but neither one wants to act on it because of their relationship status with others. Then again I also think it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time, so wtf do I know?
 
2012-07-28 01:16:01 AM  
Daily Mail?

I presume Ric's British brother, Nigel Romero, wrote this article?
 
2012-07-28 01:41:27 AM  

John Dewey: I think it totally depends on the man and the woman. I also think there can be sexual tension between them but neither one wants to act on it because of their relationship status with others. Then again I also think it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time, so wtf do I know?


Idealy, you love ALL sentient creatures equally, so you're closer by one step that the vast majority.

Of course, that love is supposed to be independent of physical contact, so we're all still behind the Buddha.
 
2012-07-28 01:44:09 AM  
Horse crap. Yes it's rare but it happens.
 
2012-07-28 02:17:07 AM  
That's not true. I have several gay friends, and a few straight (and married) male friends.
 
2012-07-28 02:35:20 AM  

syrynxx: Men can be 'just friends' with women they don't want to sex. Women can be 'just friends' with men they don't want to sex.


Almost like there's some type of "zone". I think we're onto something big here.
 
2012-07-28 03:27:25 AM  
As long as the dude is gay or a eunuch it might be possible I guess. Maybe
 
2012-07-28 03:30:51 AM  
Like the woman hasn't figured out you might want to sleep with her. I bet she tells her girlfriends she suspects you want to fark her but she will never let you anyways.
 
2012-07-28 03:33:21 AM  

syrynxx: Men can be 'just friends' with women they don't want to sex. Women can be 'just friends' with men they don't want to sex. It's just that usually, the other person in a 'just friends' relationship does want the sexing. When neither partner wants to sex the other, they're not called 'just friends'; they're just called 'friends'. Also, unicorns are real.


You pretty much said it. Also, yes you can be just friends if you've already been there and done it and are over it with that person. Seen plenty of former trysts emerge as great friends that I have no desire to shag any longer. Also helps if both of you are in your own relationships with other people.

But yes, when I was younger I liked lots of women who I was too shy to seduce. Got much better about that as I got older. It was either go for the kill for put her in the friend box right away, no waffling.
 
2012-07-28 03:34:43 AM  

Rincewind53: Utter bullshiat from the Daily Mail. Not really a shocker.


This. I really hate when people manipulate research in order to support their appeal to common practice fallacies.
 
Skr
2012-07-28 03:34:57 AM  
It can be true many times, but I'd think it would be in the cases where you weren't attracted to the other person for whatever reason. Getting stuck in a sibling like relationship also happens (not that that would stop everyone.)
 
2012-07-28 03:35:45 AM  
They can...well...unless dicks get in the way.
 
2012-07-28 03:39:06 AM  

syrynxx: Men can be 'just friends' with women they don't want to sex.


this right here
 
2012-07-28 03:39:53 AM  

crypticsatellite: If one of them is fat and ugly, they can.


Over in one.
 
2012-07-28 03:43:45 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Oh, bullsh*t


Well said.

/engineering major
//had plenty of just-guy-friend)
///also not fat and/or ugly (I had actual boyfriends while I had guy friends as well)
////they got along because we were all adults - some of my best memories are me, my best guy friend, and my boyfriend chilling together while drinking and watching a movie

/my best guy friend and I had some sexual tension when we first met each other, but it faded fast (probably when we both realized we were too damn similar to be good together as far as that went).

//I've also had completely awesome friends with benefits where the relationship ended amicably and I had only positive memories of the time were left behind; an easy $59.99 over three payments and you can learn how, too!
 
2012-07-28 03:45:29 AM  

Lorelle: That's not true. I have several gay friends, and a few straight (and married) male friends.


NotARocketScientist: Female here, and most of my best friends have been male. It is entirely possible, especially if one or both are married..


All of your straight and married male friends, and maybe even some of your gay ones, aren't "just friends", because they do in fact want to have sex with you at some level. They are, at best, "mostly just friends".
 
2012-07-28 03:45:36 AM  
Sex is basically the first thing I think about when I meet a new woman; this has never stopped me from keeping the relationship professional or friendly. I do not stare and I do not make advances. Also, having slept with a few women who are still friends, not sure why my want to have sex has to void a friendship.
 
2012-07-28 03:48:11 AM  
Headline:

scientific research confirms

Article:

In a survey by the University of Wisconsin, 88 sets of young male and female friends were asked to rate their attraction to each other in a confidential questionnaire.


How very scientific. The Daily Fail strikes again.
 
2012-07-28 03:48:29 AM  
I hate to break this to you, but there will always be some level of unrequited sexual tension in any platonic relationship between a man and a woman.

I can speak for my profession, it's the reason why we're known as "Every Marriage Suffers". When you work in intimate surroundings with a female partner for 24 hour shifts for years of your life, and you place your lives in each others hands, it builds up there.

You eat together, work together, and sleep together. And sometimes, it's literally that.
 
2012-07-28 03:49:26 AM  

crypticsatellite: If one of them is fat and ugly, they can.


Unless the other has a paper bag and likes mopeds. Then we're right back as square one.
 
2012-07-28 03:51:04 AM  
eh

Honestly its more like a brother-sister relationship. Its not friends.

Even spent a couple years hanging out with a girl only interested in girls and she found my interest in her girl awkward. We're just not wired for such relationships.

But we can be big brother just fine.
 
2012-07-28 03:53:42 AM  
This will be a good thread. It always is.

freespirited: They can...well...unless dicks get in the way.


Speak for yourself. The best friendships are with dicks in the way. I try to have at least 50.
 
2012-07-28 03:55:21 AM  

BronyMedic: I hate to break this to you, but there will always be some level of unrequited sexual tension in any platonic relationship between a man and a woman.


a) not always (See the fat/ugly argument)

b) even if it exists many, many adults can work through it.

Anecdotal evidence again to be sure, but my best guy friend in college (again, engineering student, that's kinda how it happened) has been in a relationship for 3-ish years. I've been in mine for 5. Wouldn't have traded our friendship for anything, but around year 1 of our friendship there was no way anything sexual was gonna happen. Quite honestly, it would've just been weird at that point. And we both had opportunities and I did think about it... but I valued his friendship more than relationship/hookup messiness.

Not true for all guys to be sure. Especially the probably-Asperger's-spectrum ones (engineering student!) who didn't get that working on a project together != attraction. But still, quite possible.
 
2012-07-28 03:56:00 AM  

BronyMedic: I hate to break this to you, but there will always be some level of unrequited sexual tension in any platonic relationship between a man and a woman.

I can speak for my profession, it's the reason why we're known as "Every Marriage Suffers". When you work in intimate surroundings with a female partner for 24 hour shifts for years of your life, and you place your lives in each others hands, it builds up there.

You eat together, work together, and sleep together. And sometimes, it's literally that.


Understanding that it can happen and why it often does is not the same as being a slave to your amygdala and not being able to prevent it. You do understand this, right?
 
2012-07-28 03:57:46 AM  
I'll call out BS to every single person in this thread who says they have a purely platonic relationship with the opposite sex that doesn't involve a family member. Just because you won't admit it doesn't mean you aren't thinking about it...

/at least once anyways...
 
mjg
2012-07-28 04:00:00 AM  
 
2012-07-28 04:00:05 AM  
Study: (Straight) Men in female-male friendships are more likely to be sexually/romantically attracted to their friend than visa versa.

DailyFail: (Straight) Men and women can't be just friends.
 
2012-07-28 04:01:00 AM  
Sure you can. I am friends with lots of women, both good looking and ugly. Of course, I want to have the sexy with the good looking ones, but if things make that not possible, usually because of a boyfriend a husband or we just don't gell that way, then I'm fine with friends. It helps that I wont bother with a woman if she has no, or a suck ass personality.
 
2012-07-28 04:01:45 AM  

NotARocketScientist: Female here, and most of my best friends have been male. It is entirely possible, especially if one or both are married. Helps that though I'm not ugly, I'm not a sex kitten either.


First, Friends are very possible, not probable, but possible.

Second, being married has nothing to do with it. A married guy may not act, but he can still want or plan for the future. He could also act. Also, you being married wont stop the desire either, so when your man gets nervous about "your friend" he should.

Third, you really wouldnt know if your best friends wanted anything if they didn't tell you.

/ hell, I want most of my FACEBOOK friends. Or at least did at one time. When they werent old and dumpy.
// okay, id take em old and dumpy.
 
2012-07-28 04:04:04 AM  

wyltoknow: Newsflash: assholes who try to cajole sex out of a woman through pretense of friendship think that every other guy is like them.

Newsflash: people are different and have different motives and feelings about certain situations.

I think some guys are just incredibly incapable of realizing the dynamic of a friendship, though. "Oh, I believe that the thought of her naked is nice, we can't really be called friends." What the fark ever.


You do realize no one in this thread is going to sleep with you because you are lying to them about being more evolved than other men, right?
 
2012-07-28 04:07:15 AM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: a) not always (See the fat/ugly argument)

b) even if it exists many, many adults can work through it.


All men understand (b) perfectly. No one is saying men and women can't be friends, only that they can't be "just friends". With us guys it doesn't get more platonic than "friend who I willfully and happily behave fully platonic with but who my animalic nature still does in fact want to have sex with".

Also, (a) isn't true. Fat/ugly only means that we wouldn't fap to her or pursue her as a stranger. No matter how physically repulsive she is, if she does become platonic friends, then we guys will, in fact, start wanting to have sex with her.
 
2012-07-28 04:08:34 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: This will be a good thread. It always is.

freespirited: They can...well...unless dicks get in the way.

Speak for yourself. The best friendships are with dicks in the way. I try to have at least 50.


All at one time? So how long have you been practicing Bukkake?
 
2012-07-28 04:11:39 AM  

Somacandra: I think what the author is trying to say is that he wants to have every woman he knows. He wants to have them take off their clothes. He'll make it with them unless they say no 'cause he's a heterosexual man. He'll make it with them whenever he can.


Hmmm. Odds lyrics. Just for that, welcome to my favourites list.

Oh, and men and women being "just friends" is bullshiat.
 
2012-07-28 04:12:46 AM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Oh, bullsh*t

Well said.

/engineering major
//had plenty of just-guy-friend)
///also not fat and/or ugly (I had actual boyfriends while I had guy friends as well)
////they got along because we were all adults - some of my best memories are me, my best guy friend, and my boyfriend chilling together while drinking and watching a movie

/my best guy friend and I had some sexual tension when we first met each other, but it faded fast (probably when we both realized we were too damn similar to be good together as far as that went).

//I've also had completely awesome friends with benefits where the relationship ended amicably and I had only positive memories of the time were left behind; an easy $59.99 over three payments and you can learn how, too!


Oh my, its so cute how all the girls think they've had guy friends that didnt want anything. I think the point of the article you ladies are trying to refute with your stories is that you wouldn't know.

Also, just because you've classified him as Just Friends and TOLD him he is just a friend, and allowed your sexual tension to die, that doesn't mean he is happy in that role. If he wasn't interested, he would leave. If you honestly think you have a male friend that does not want anything... offer it to him. It will be snapped up in heartbeat, and it will make his life's top ten moments.
 
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