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(Uproxx)   Fred Willard to Jimmy Fallon about his recent arrest: "It's the last time I'm going to listen to my wife when she says, 'Why don't you go out and see a movie?'"   (uproxx.com) divider line 54
    More: Hero, Fred Willard, Jimmy Fallon  
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4592 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Jul 2012 at 10:40 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-27 10:44:49 AM
gotta love fred:)
 
2012-07-27 10:47:09 AM
I'm sure he'll be able to beat this thing.
 
2012-07-27 10:47:30 AM
Glad to see he opted for Pee Wee style self-deprecation... nothing works better.
 
2012-07-27 10:48:37 AM
This whole "issue" is sad.

I wonder what Europeans think about it.
 
2012-07-27 10:49:49 AM
Masturbating in a porno theater. The audacity.
 
2012-07-27 10:55:43 AM
Wait, so he's a hero for masturbating in public?
 
2012-07-27 10:57:18 AM
He can still bench 400.
 
2012-07-27 11:00:29 AM
Fred Willard Discussed His Arrest For Porno Theater Jerking With Jimmy Fallon Last Night

Has it always been illegal to jerk with Jimmy Fallon?
 
2012-07-27 11:02:40 AM

Blues_X: I'm sure he'll be able to beat this thing.


zing!!

i came here to say that.
 
2012-07-27 11:07:02 AM
We are such prudes. It's not like he was jerking it in the Build-a-Bear Workshop. If there was one thing I could change about the American mindset it would be to exorcise the ghost of Puritanism that still haunts us.

* Start by getting schools to stop treating the Puritans as heroic. They were thrown out of Europe for being dicks.
 
2012-07-27 11:07:16 AM
Probably the person who 'benefitted the most', to use the term loosely, from the Aurora shootings.
 
2012-07-27 11:09:41 AM
Fallon: Was it The Firm?
Fred: No
Fallon: Was it Anaconda?
Fred: No, it was Get Shorty
Fallon: Yeah, I heard someone gets whacked in that.

Fallon: At any time did you think it was in 3D?

/snaredrum.jpg
 
2012-07-27 11:10:22 AM
I heard Abe Lincoln was in that theater as well
 
2012-07-27 11:16:14 AM

OtherLittleGuy: Probably the person who 'benefitted the most', to use the term loosely, from the Aurora shootings.


Ah yes, the good old Canadian Bacon style misdirection.
 
2012-07-27 11:19:45 AM
Yeah, I kinda figured that Fred Willard would have a sense of humor about the whole thing.
 
2012-07-27 11:27:25 AM

Cletus C.: Fred Willard Discussed His Arrest For Porno Theater Jerking With Jimmy Fallon Last Night

Has it always been illegal to jerk with Jimmy Fallon?


only because fallon starts laughing in the middle, which isnt appropriate when performing a double dutch rudder.

/you and i are over professionally fallon
 
2012-07-27 11:28:22 AM
bhcourier.com


I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right. I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.
 
2012-07-27 11:33:16 AM
Someone needs to buy this guy a computer. I mean, I know he's an older dude, but who the hell goes to porno theaters anymore? And what kind of cop hangs out in them waiting to arrest people for jerking off? Does he feel good about himself when he goes home at night? Our criminal justice system is stretched thin as it is, so let's just arrest people for the stupidest shiat possible, sounds like a great idea. Let's give that cop a medal.
 
2012-07-27 11:40:09 AM
I'm really tired of the media flogging this story.

/sorry
//got nuthin'
 
2012-07-27 12:05:35 PM
You'll never live this sort of thing down, so you may as well live it up. Pee-Wee set the right precedent:

"Heard any good jokes lately?"
 
2012-07-27 12:13:10 PM

malaktaus: Someone needs to buy this guy a computer. I mean, I know he's an older dude, but who the hell goes to porno theaters anymore? And what kind of cop hangs out in them waiting to arrest people for jerking off? Does he feel good about himself when he goes home at night? Our criminal justice system is stretched thin as it is, so let's just arrest people for the stupidest shiat possible, sounds like a great idea. Let's give that cop a medal.


Its all just a Publicity Stunt by Fred's PR team. They called the cop in and pulled it off flawlessly.
 
2012-07-27 12:17:56 PM
In this day and age when you can spank it in private to damn near any form of sexual taste or perversion you can imagine via the wonderful world wide web, he still feels the need to do so in a public theater, albeit a pron theater. Something tells me that this guy WANTED to be seen/"caught".

And that's the real problem here. And why he was charged.
 
2012-07-27 12:21:19 PM

SaltyDonnie: In this day and age when you can spank it in private to damn near any form of sexual taste or perversion you can imagine via the wonderful world wide web, he still feels the need to do so in a public theater, albeit a pron theater. Something tells me that this guy WANTED to be seen/"caught".

And that's the real problem here. And why he was charged.


Someone jerking off in a porn theatre is what you would consider a "real problem"?
 
2012-07-27 12:28:54 PM

SaltyDonnie: In this day and age when you can spank it in private to damn near any form of sexual taste or perversion you can imagine via the wonderful world wide web, he still feels the need to do so in a public theater, albeit a pron theater. Something tells me that this guy WANTED to be seen/"caught".

And that's the real problem here. And why he was charged.


The fact that porn theaters still exist should tell you something, not everyone can sit at home on the internet and do that, perhaps he didn't want to sit in the living room in front of his wife and rub one out. Get some common sense dude.
 
2012-07-27 01:17:34 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: Wait, so he's a hero for masturbating in public?


It's not like he was jackin' it in the street like Jason Russell. It was a porno theatre you've got to expect that kind of thing happening. They're not the type of place you take a date to. You also don't go to male bathhouses unless you want to hit on by Travolta. It's just common sense.
 
2012-07-27 01:33:58 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

The guy was just hanging brain; what's all the fuss??
 
2012-07-27 01:37:39 PM

ReapTheChaos: SaltyDonnie: In this day and age when you can spank it in private to damn near any form of sexual taste or perversion you can imagine via the wonderful world wide web, he still feels the need to do so in a public theater, albeit a pron theater. Something tells me that this guy WANTED to be seen/"caught".

And that's the real problem here. And why he was charged.

The fact that porn theaters still exist should tell you something, not everyone can sit at home on the internet and do that, perhaps he didn't want to sit in the living room in front of his wife and rub one out. Get some common sense dude.


Porn theaters were (and still are) hangouts for men to meet men to do "stuff". With the advent of internet porn it's the only reason they're still around anywhere.
 
2012-07-27 01:46:13 PM
media.silive.com

"Heard any good jokes lately?"
 
2012-07-27 02:02:21 PM

SaltyDonnie: In this day and age when you can spank it in private to damn near any form of sexual taste or perversion you can imagine via the wonderful world wide web, he still feels the need to do so in a public theater, albeit a pron theater. Something tells me that this guy WANTED to be seen/"caught".

And that's the real problem here. And why he was charged.


I think you're some kind of deviated prevert.
 
2012-07-27 02:08:34 PM
So he was arrested for doing what 90% of men do?

/the other 10%? No arms.
//stolen from Dave Attell cause I got nothing
///FREE WILLARD!
 
2012-07-27 02:09:57 PM

malaktaus: Someone needs to buy this guy a computer. I mean, I know he's an older dude, but who the hell goes to porno theaters anymore? And what kind of cop hangs out in them waiting to arrest people for jerking off? Does he feel good about himself when he goes home at night? Our criminal justice system is stretched thin as it is, so let's just arrest people for the stupidest shiat possible, sounds like a great idea. Let's give that cop a medal.


He has a computer. He also has a fetish. That fetish involves self-pleasuring in a "public" place like a porn theater to a nasty b-grade skin flick.
 
2012-07-27 02:14:59 PM

chuggernaught: So he was arrested for doing what 90% of men do?

/the other 10%? No arms.
//stolen from Dave Attell cause I got nothing
///FREE WILLARD!


90% of men beat off in a theater? No wonder the floors are so slippery.
 
2012-07-27 02:15:40 PM
Hey Fred what's your favorite baseball team? I'll bet it's the Yankees.

/Free Fred
 
2012-07-27 02:27:41 PM

Icetech3: gotta love fred:)


Fred does.
 
2012-07-27 02:28:56 PM

jobskee: "Heard any good jokes lately?"


If memory serves, Paul went from arrest to MTV in some months; plenty of time to think. Mr. Willard had mere days to come up with a witty response. Point, Fred.
 
2012-07-27 02:38:14 PM

therecksays: Hey Fred what's your favorite baseball team? I'll bet it's the Yankees.

/Free Fred


He's Dutch?
 
2012-07-27 02:41:30 PM
Good for Fred. Get the issue out in the open and you disarm the critics.
 
2012-07-27 03:36:45 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: ReapTheChaos: SaltyDonnie: In this day and age when you can spank it in private to damn near any form of sexual taste or perversion you can imagine via the wonderful world wide web, he still feels the need to do so in a public theater, albeit a pron theater. Something tells me that this guy WANTED to be seen/"caught".

And that's the real problem here. And why he was charged.

The fact that porn theaters still exist should tell you something, not everyone can sit at home on the internet and do that, perhaps he didn't want to sit in the living room in front of his wife and rub one out. Get some common sense dude.

Porn theaters were (and still are) hangouts for men to meet men to do "stuff". With the advent of internet porn it's the only reason they're still around anywhere.



The last time I was near a porn theatre was when my girl and I were at the novelty store with a theater built in to it. I have no problem with it but I remember how wide eyed I was when I watched 2 elderly couples easily over 70 years old walk in there.

Is that weird? Not really. What was weird was the 2 gentlemen were dressed in expensive looking tuxedo's and the women were dressed like they were going to church. I never realized porn theaters required formal attire.
 
2012-07-27 03:49:57 PM

Shakes999: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: ReapTheChaos: SaltyDonnie: In this day and age when you can spank it in private to damn near any form of sexual taste or perversion you can imagine via the wonderful world wide web, he still feels the need to do so in a public theater, albeit a pron theater. Something tells me that this guy WANTED to be seen/"caught".

And that's the real problem here. And why he was charged.

The fact that porn theaters still exist should tell you something, not everyone can sit at home on the internet and do that, perhaps he didn't want to sit in the living room in front of his wife and rub one out. Get some common sense dude.

Porn theaters were (and still are) hangouts for men to meet men to do "stuff". With the advent of internet porn it's the only reason they're still around anywhere.


The last time I was near a porn theatre was when my girl and I were at the novelty store with a theater built in to it. I have no problem with it but I remember how wide eyed I was when I watched 2 elderly couples easily over 70 years old walk in there.

Is that weird? Not really. What was weird was the 2 gentlemen were dressed in expensive looking tuxedo's and the women were dressed like they were going to church. I never realized porn theaters required formal attire.


Porn gods like the jewish god like people to dress up.
 
2012-07-27 04:07:17 PM

malaktaus: Someone needs to buy this guy a computer. I mean, I know he's an older dude, but who the hell goes to porno theaters anymore? And what kind of cop hangs out in them waiting to arrest people for jerking off? Does he feel good about himself when he goes home at night? Our criminal justice system is stretched thin as it is, so let's just arrest people for the stupidest shiat possible, sounds like a great idea. Let's give that cop a medal.


TMZ(I think) had a story that his grandkids were staying with him which is why he went out of the house and didn't use his computer.
 
2012-07-27 04:24:16 PM

StoPPeRmobile: chuggernaught: So he was arrested for doing what 90% of men do?

/the other 10%? No arms.
//stolen from Dave Attell cause I got nothing
///FREE WILLARD!

90% of men beat off in a theater? No wonder the floors are so slippery sticky.

 
2012-07-27 04:35:17 PM

borg: malaktaus: Someone needs to buy this guy a computer. I mean, I know he's an older dude, but who the hell goes to porno theaters anymore? And what kind of cop hangs out in them waiting to arrest people for jerking off? Does he feel good about himself when he goes home at night? Our criminal justice system is stretched thin as it is, so let's just arrest people for the stupidest shiat possible, sounds like a great idea. Let's give that cop a medal.

TMZ(I think) had a story that his grandkids were staying with him which is why he went out of the house and didn't use his computer.


I thought thats what a bathroom and tablets iPads were for?
 
2012-07-27 05:32:12 PM

gshepnyc: We are such prudes. It's not like he was jerking it in the Build-a-Bear Workshop. If there was one thing I could change about the American mindset it would be to exorcise the ghost of Puritanism that still haunts us.

* Start by getting schools to stop treating the Puritans as heroic. They were thrown out of Europe for being dicks.


This is precisely why I drink booze, dress in bright colors, and eat Chinese food on Thanksgiving every year.
 
2012-07-27 06:40:17 PM
img1.bdbphotos.com

I guess he really is "a freak", who "likes dem biatches peeing on him and shiat"......
 
2012-07-27 07:01:58 PM
Nice comeback.

The real shame about this story is that Fred Willard, in the midst of a becoming hip again and on a comeback track, reminded everyone that he is old.

/who the hell goes to a porn theater any more? Learn to use the Internet, dinosaur
 
2012-07-27 07:12:05 PM

Avery614: [img1.bdbphotos.com image 400x266]

I guess he really is "a freak", who "likes dem biatches peeing on him and shiat"......


Amusing movie.
 
2012-07-27 08:09:13 PM

xant: /who the hell goes to a porn theater any more? Learn to use the Internet, dinosaur


Adult theaters are more about hooking up with like minded individuals that are looking for anonymous public sex or to engage in some exhibitionism or voyeurism. For example, in Portland, OR there is a theater in the downtown area where you see a lot of couples visiting to either play with anonymous strangers or to simply have a audience while they have sex with each other. Or so I'm told.
 
2012-07-27 10:02:16 PM

xant: Nice comeback.

The real shame about this story is that Fred Willard, in the midst of a becoming hip again and on a comeback track, reminded everyone that he is old.

/who the hell goes to a porn theater any more? Learn to use the Internet, dinosaur


I think you're missing out on a social element involved here. he was probably waiting for a "friend" to drop by and help.
 
2012-07-27 10:03:41 PM
Look sometimes you just gotta bust a nut and it ain't all that fun if you have to plan and carefully orchestrate time and a place to do that. Sometimes you just gotta follow that nut wherever it takes you, be it the deep end of your friends' pool during his 21st birthday party, the common area of the dorm, or a porno theater
 
2012-07-28 09:51:08 AM

Mad_Radhu: xant: /who the hell goes to a porn theater any more? Learn to use the Internet, dinosaur

Adult theaters are more about hooking up with like minded individuals that are looking for anonymous public sex or to engage in some exhibitionism or voyeurism. For example, in Portland, OR there is a theater in the downtown area where you see a lot of couples visiting to either play with anonymous strangers or to simply have a audience while they have sex with each other. Or so I'm told.


That's not the Portland I know.
 
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