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(Starpulse)   Lisa Lampanelli's gastric weight loss surgery leaves her with a hollow empty feeling in her stomach. Now she gets to experience what it's like to attend one of her shows   (starpulse.com) divider line 126
    More: Followup, Lisa Lampanelli, dress size  
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11880 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Jul 2012 at 8:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-27 08:51:37 AM
Bad subby! should have gone for an empty like a huge black cock pulling out joke in the headline.
 
2012-07-27 08:53:07 AM
Ftfa:"You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

I really hate when people say 'you' when they mean 'I'. I don't have to do any of that shiat because I have self-control. No surgery required.
 
2012-07-27 08:53:41 AM
Who?
 
2012-07-27 08:55:15 AM
Was there any mention of her licking the black cock?

Because she does, and reminds you every chance she gets.

Oh, it's coming.

Heh...coming.
 
2012-07-27 08:55:41 AM

MDGeist: Who?


I think I saw her on the Shatner Roast. The version in the picture looks about half the size.
 
2012-07-27 08:56:59 AM
So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?
 
2012-07-27 09:04:07 AM
How is she going to make jokes about black men loving fat white women now?
 
2012-07-27 09:05:40 AM

Dwight_Yeast: huge black cock pullin


FinFangFark: licking the black cock


Proof positive that what people write says more about the author than it could ever say about the subject matter.

Especially the one who said "licking" instead of "liking"
 
2012-07-27 09:09:26 AM
Is her husband still a fatass? or was this one of those couples thing.
 
2012-07-27 09:10:28 AM
"Doctors Remove 80 Percent Of Lisa Lampanelli's Stomach"

So she is going to switch to asians?
 
2012-07-27 09:10:52 AM

Jim from Saint Paul: So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?


Don't worry. A bunch of guys who could stunt double for Homer Simpson will be in shortly to explain how it's 'taking the easy way' shortly.
 
2012-07-27 09:13:19 AM
FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.
 
2012-07-27 09:17:55 AM

LowbrowDeluxe: Jim from Saint Paul: So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?

Don't worry. A bunch of guys who could stunt double for Homer Simpson will be in shortly to explain how it's 'taking the easy way' shortly.


As one of the Homer-esque ones I don't think it's taking an easy way, quite the opposite. What has always stood out to me is that it's a physical procedure to force changes that could be made mentally. It's sadder to see the people who do think it's an easy way, fail after the procedure because they still have to do all those things they hadn't been able to do before in reducing their food amounts, increasing the quality of that food, and exercise.
 
2012-07-27 09:19:30 AM

bel4sucks: Dwight_Yeast: huge black cock pullin

FinFangFark: licking the black cock

Proof positive that what people write says more about the author than it could ever say about the subject matter.

Especially the one who said "licking" instead of "liking"


Not sure what you're referring to in my post, but I'm down with huge black cock, fwiw.
 
2012-07-27 09:19:50 AM

rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.


Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.
 
2012-07-27 09:20:38 AM
Too bad Greg Giraldo's not still around. I bet he'd have a field day with this on the next roast.
 
2012-07-27 09:24:22 AM

Alphax: MDGeist: Who?

I think I saw her on the Shatner Roast. The version in the picture looks about half the size.


Guess she's a stand-up comic. Wish the article had included a "before" picture. Maybe this will work.

redalertlive.com

/hot
 
2012-07-27 09:25:10 AM
I think she's funny.
It's the same joke over & over, but she's funny when I'm in the mood for mindless cock jokes.
 
2012-07-27 09:28:44 AM

Phoenix_M: Is her husband still a fatass? or was this one of those couples thing.


FTFA:

Lampanelli's husband had the same procedure a few weeks after she did. "Combined we lost a total of 105 pounds so far," she noted.
 
2012-07-27 09:30:01 AM

rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.


Good thing you lost the weight, you were a ringer for Larry the Cable Guy before

/or was that the reason you went on a diet?
 
2012-07-27 09:30:11 AM
This is from memory, but bariatric surgery makes it easier to stick to a low calorie regimen because of the resultant hormonal appetite supression. Many people can' t successfully lose weight due to extreme intrusive feelings of hunger and the surgery helps with this.
 
2012-07-27 09:31:09 AM
So she couldn't have just eaten what she now does without getting the surgery?

Does the surgery just put a gun to your head?
 
2012-07-27 09:31:46 AM
I've never heard of her. However, after reading this thread, I don't think I've missed much.
 
2012-07-27 09:31:54 AM

bionicjoe: mindless cock jokes.


My cock is erudite, so it's not really getting a kick out of her jokes.
 
2012-07-27 09:31:54 AM

Dwight_Yeast: Not sure what you're referring to in my post, but I'm down with huge black cock, fwiw.


Hey good on ya, I just think it's funny any time a white chick decides she wants to fark a black dude a bunch of farkers have to race to point it out. And in this case, my point was 100% true.
 
2012-07-27 09:34:19 AM
"Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat
 
2012-07-27 09:34:36 AM
I know her from watching last season's Celebrity Apprentice. That show would always film her fat ass leaving the boardroom. I bet showing that over and over inspired her to do something about her weight.
 
2012-07-27 09:42:10 AM

tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.


You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.
 
2012-07-27 09:43:33 AM

tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.


Agreed.

Even if you are an extraordinarily active person, some people don't know how to quit eating too much. I definitely fall into this category and (now, twice) in my life have had to go through periods of forcing myself to change. I would put myself into a much more fit/exercises a substantial amount more than the average person. I've lifted weights and done cardio on a continual basis since my early 20's.

HOWEVER.

I am also a person who can easily sit down and eat a giant bag of doritos. Large quantities of fast food. etc. You know those people that can buy a bag of junk food and it lasts all week? I eat it in a couple hours. Falling back into those habits is extremely easy and second nature. This is foreign to a lot of people.

Bottom line, some can not help themselves without help. I'm fortunate that I have a great exercise regime in that without, i probably would have hit 280 instead of 240 before I went HOLY shiat WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING THE LAST 6 MONTHS, I DID IT AGAIN ARRRRGH.

Since may 19th, i've went from 241 to currently 218. I am close to looking fit and muscular again. But for me this takes a daily, conscious and honestly serious effort to maintain health. I have to think about everything that I eat, and grocery stores are full of little victories where i surpass my intense desire to buy a box of ice cream sandwiches and a bunch of bags of chips. I have to tell myself to not stop at fast food joints. I would consider this somewhat similar to an alcoholic walking past a liqour aisle.

people who talk shiat, simply don't have this problem so don't know how to relate. But the shiat talkers, chances are as well have some other unhealthy activities in their lives. Maybe they drink too much. Maybe they smoke too much. Or maybe they are the extraordinary person who is just perfectly healthy and has no compulsions, and if so you need to be very thankful that you are one of the few people that lives without such compulsions.
 
2012-07-27 09:49:56 AM

MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.


I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.
 
2012-07-27 09:53:11 AM

phedex: Bottom line, some can not help themselves without help.


Stan, it's a disease.

southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com
 
2012-07-27 09:53:30 AM

tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.


RNY here. Best decision I ever made. 100 pounds permanently gone, back pain gone, and I run marathons. I ran before I had the surgery, including a half marathon, but I was never able to lose more than 30-40 pounds, even with diet changes.

I don't really care if people think it's the easy way out. It's the way that worked for me, so I'm happy I did it.
 
2012-07-27 09:57:18 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.


P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.
 
2012-07-27 09:57:29 AM
Wow. Someone actually recommended Doucherobics. We're off and running folks.

100 push-ups
 
2012-07-27 09:59:04 AM

CheetahOlivetti: RNY here. Best decision I ever made. 100 pounds permanently gone, back pain gone, and I run marathons. I ran before I had the surgery, including a half marathon, but I was never able to lose more than 30-40 pounds, even with diet changes.

I don't really care if people think it's the easy way out. It's the way that worked for me, so I'm happy I did it.



Good for you, dear. fark the haters.
 
2012-07-27 09:59:58 AM

bel4sucks: Dwight_Yeast: Not sure what you're referring to in my post, but I'm down with huge black cock, fwiw.

Hey good on ya, I just think it's funny any time a white chick decides she wants to fark a black dude a bunch of farkers have to race to point it out. And in this case, my point was 100% true.


Even if every single person on fark pointed it out, it still wouldn't compare to the number of times she herself has brought attention to it.
 
2012-07-27 10:01:36 AM

Toquinha: P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.


Ha, definitely. Horton's a douche, but the program works, I'll give him that. Once I had the exercise forms down (which you DO need to hear and know for correct performance), I would just mute the TV and listen to Pandora.

Is the Insanity program any good?
 
2012-07-27 10:02:59 AM

Toquinha: Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.

P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.


That's great, but what about those who are unable to do P90X? I mean, I'm a tubbo, even with the 65 lb weight loss. I've done aerobics classes, elliptical machines, hard core boot camps. My body can't handle those...yet. I'm doing Zumba, Your Shape on Xbox, walking, and eating right.

And to you, Mr. "You must be a freak of nature not to have simple diet & exercise work for you", it must be nice to have it work FOR you. Had it worked for me, I could have saved $30,000 and lots of bulimic moments and heartache and watching other people eat because a piece of food I chewed for farking HOURS STILL got stuck and I can't eat anymore. I could have saved the implantation of a device that squeezes off part of my stomach. Oh my goodness! If only I'd met you before!

/seriously
//do you REALLY think I would have had the surgery if simple diet & exercise had helped me drop 150 lbs?
 
2012-07-27 10:04:28 AM

MayoSlather: You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.


Good thing you're not my doctor, then.
 
2012-07-27 10:05:05 AM

tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.


So I should feel bad that you can't eat things because of surgery you elected to have instead of using self control?
 
2012-07-27 10:07:42 AM
Whatever works, good on you, Lisa!
/weighed about 300 lbs a decade ago
//not so much now
 
2012-07-27 10:09:04 AM

tudorgurl: Toquinha: Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.

P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.

That's great, but what about those who are unable to do P90X? I mean, I'm a tubbo, even with the 65 lb weight loss. I've done aerobics classes, elliptical machines, hard core boot camps. My body can't handle those...yet. I'm doing Zumba, Your Shape on Xbox, walking, and eating right.

And to you, Mr. "You must be a freak of nature not to have simple diet & exercise work for you", it must be nice to have it work FOR you. Had it worked for me, I could have saved $30,000 and lots ...


With P90X, many of the exercises can be substituted with simpler, less strenuous exercises (bands instead of pull-ups, for example, or only do as many reps as you can). I have a torn miniscus, so I can't do plyometrics without the danger of ripping my knee apart again, so I do regular squats instead of jump squats, things like that. The program is surprisingly flexible in that regard.
 
2012-07-27 10:09:58 AM

tudorgurl: Toquinha: Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.

P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.

That's great, but what about those who are unable to do P90X? I mean, I'm a tubbo, even with the 65 lb weight loss. I've done aerobics classes, elliptical machines, hard core boot camps. My body can't handle those...yet. I'm doing Zumba, Your Shape on Xbox, walking, and eating right.

And to you, Mr. "You must be a freak of nature not to have simple diet & exercise work for you", it must be nice to have it work FOR you. Had it worked for me, I could have saved $30,000 and lots of bulimic moments and heartache and watching other people eat because a piece of food I chewed for farking HOURS STILL got stuck and I can't eat anymore. I could have saved the implantation of a device that squeezes off part of my stomach. Oh my goodness! If only I'd met you before!

/seriously
//do you REALLY think I would have had the surgery if simple diet & exercise had helped me drop 150 lbs?


The surgery didn't magically change your body chemistry it made you eat less. You could have chosen to eat less and had the same effect.
 
2012-07-27 10:10:13 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: "Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat


The band, RNY, sleeve, Duodenal Switch...those are not for "I gotta lose 40 lbs". We're talking a good 100 lbs or more to lose. It is a difficult process to get approved, too. I had to go on a low cal/low glycemic/low sodium diet for a year, get signed off by my primary care physician (no mean feat there), then go through six months of classes at the surgeon's office to teach me how to eat and to deal with the changes coming, THEN see a psychiatrist for three sessions to make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons and know what I'm doing, THEN apply to the insurance for the surgery. It took two years to get approved. But we're not done yet!

After I got approved, I had to go on a three-month liquid diet to prep for the surgery. No solids at all. If I got caught cheating, I could be kicked off. Then the surgery was scheduled and I had to wait another month for that (doing it at the end of my spring break...going back to teach the following Monday was a blast...not). Then, it was liquids for another two months, then pureed foods (pureed chicken...you haven't lived until you've had that!), then slowly incorporating regular foods back in.

And I've lost 65 lbs but still haven't been able to crack 300...it's frustrating as hell. But, I'm going to make it work because it would be a waste of time, effort, money and life not to do so.

This is not an easy journey, honey. Make sure you do this for the RIGHT reasons and know what you're getting into.
 
2012-07-27 10:11:42 AM

tudorgurl: CheetahOlivetti: RNY here. Best decision I ever made. 100 pounds permanently gone, back pain gone, and I run marathons. I ran before I had the surgery, including a half marathon, but I was never able to lose more than 30-40 pounds, even with diet changes.

I don't really care if people think it's the easy way out. It's the way that worked for me, so I'm happy I did it.



Good for you, dear. fark the haters.


I applaud the weight loss regardless...However surgery is a ridiculous solution to a problem that if you were being honest with yourself is you not taking personal responsibility and not working hard enough. There are many facets of life where being bootstrappy isn't necessarily a solution, but weight control most certainly is.
 
2012-07-27 10:12:35 AM

liam76: So I should feel bad that you can't eat things because of surgery you elected to have instead of using self control?


Where in there did I ever ask someone to feel sorry for me?
 
2012-07-27 10:13:13 AM
So now she'll be a thin hosebeast.
 
2012-07-27 10:13:57 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: With P90X, many of the exercises can be substituted with simpler, less strenuous exercises (bands instead of pull-ups, for example, or only do as many reps as you can). I have a torn miniscus, so I can't do plyometrics without the danger of ripping my knee apart again, so I do regular squats instead of jump squats, things like that. The program is surprisingly flexible in that regard


Cool. I'll look into it. I love doing the Zumba, and I want to add belly dancing into the mix, too. I love working out where I get to dance and look silly. I hate getting yelled at.
 
2012-07-27 10:14:40 AM

tudorgurl: liam76: So I should feel bad that you can't eat things because of surgery you elected to have instead of using self control?

Where in there did I ever ask someone to feel sorry for me you to feel bad?


FTFMS

/typing fail
 
2012-07-27 10:15:07 AM
Just wait until she's about 5 years out on that surgery and the side effects start popping up.
Almost 100% chance of having a gall bladder removal
Possible increased chance of fibromyalgia
Possible dumping syndrome (well, he mouth takes care of that already, but...)
Possible recurring bouts of dehydration
Several vitamin and mineral deficiencies with their associated problems
Possible hyper-para-thyroidism (causes bone loss, muscle cramps and loss, and repeated kidney stones)

Those are just the ones off the top of my fuzzy morning head.

That line the doctors feed people about just needing to take two Flintstone vitamins a day to deal with the requirements is a crock.

A few years ago there was a big push around here for women (especially) to get a bypass. All the overweight nurses where my wife worked rushed to have the "miracle surgery" done. That was about 8 years ago;every last one now has serious lasting effects all but two of them have gained at least 75% of their weight back with some gaining more and exceeding their former weight.

Don't mind me, I'm just a bit bitter after seeing the resulting medical problems my wife and her former co-workers have had.

As to right now
:"You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."
That means she has to start swallowing instead of spitting?
 
2012-07-27 10:15:46 AM

tudorgurl: Snatch Bandergrip: "Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat

The band, RNY, sleeve, Duodenal Switch...those are not for "I gotta lose 40 lbs". We're talking a good 100 lbs or more to lose. It is a difficult process to get approved, too. I had to go on a low cal/low glycemic/low sodium diet for a year, get signed off by my primary care physician (no mean feat there), then go through six months of classes at the surgeon's office to teach me how to eat and to deal with the changes coming, THEN see a psychiatrist for three sessions to make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons and know what I'm doing, THEN apply to the insurance for the surgery. It took two years to get approved. But we're not done yet!

After I got approved, I had to go on a three-month liquid diet to prep for the surgery. No solids at all. If I got caught c ...


Holy Toledo. I mean, I knew it'd be a struggle, but Christ. How do you not get sick from such extreme dietary changes?

Thank you for shedding some light on the subject and, from one fattie to another, the sincerest best of luck in reaching your health goals. :)
 
2012-07-27 10:16:33 AM

Jim from Saint Paul: So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?


No, a complete gastric bypass is much more expensive, It's two separate operations. A gastric sleeve is technically the first half of a complete gastric bypass, and you get about 85% of the benefit for 50% of the pain and cost.

I just had a sleeve done in Tijuana Mexico last month (I'm so-called "Medical Tourist"). It was done at a small hospital that does nothing but gastric sleeves. It cost me $4500 (Here in Houston doctors charge $13,000 to start). I've dropped 45 pounds in 35 days, and I plan on losing another 70 pounds in the next six months.

It's not for everyone.
 
2012-07-27 10:17:59 AM
imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-27 10:19:33 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: Is the Insanity program any good?


Insanity is fantastic. I did it (twice now) and it's the hardest thing I've ever done (giggity)

I tried P90X but, like said before, I couldn't stand watching/listening to that douche every day.
Shawn T makes Insanity better and the best part is instead of the meatheads in P90X that throw around macho bravado (I'm going to do 10 reps! Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna do 15!!!) the Insanity people are crumbling to the floor, like you will be.

It makes you feel they're right there with you and that it IS hard.

I literally threw up doing the initial Fit Test but once I got the hang of it, I enjoyed it.

Coupled with diet, I lost 40 pounds.

Keep in mind I was only 180, and 5'11" and didn't have 40 lbs to lose!
(I went to a dietician halfway through to regulate my weight loss)

/YMMV
 
2012-07-27 10:19:35 AM
tudorgurl:
Good luck. The lapband was having problems when my wife had her bypass and she chose the more radical procedure. A few friends have since gone with the band and had decent results. It is never an easy decision.
 
2012-07-27 10:19:46 AM

tudorgurl: tudorgurl: liam76: So I should feel bad that you can't eat things because of surgery you elected to have instead of using self control?

Where in there did I ever ask someone to feel sorry for me you to feel bad?

FTFMS

/typing fail


You're right you didn't ask, but you did whine about how hard it is when you could have just pit the fork down.
 
2012-07-27 10:22:05 AM

tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.


You'll see in the post right under this one you referrenced, is a post where I said I didn't consider it an easy way. I'm glad what you did worked for you. I'm glad you had a surgery that then enabled your body to lose weight by not eating alot, eating better food and exercising. I'm sorry you had some kind of body difference that made it so prior to having your stomach shrunk not eating a lot, eating better food and exercising didn't work for you to lose weight. I'm sorry you had to have surgical intervention to shrink your stomach because you tried everything else and nothing could make your stomach shrink naturally like not eating a lot, eating better food, and exercising as it does to most people. I'm sorry your body is so unique, and so unlike any other body in the world that you needed these special measures to do what many can make happen naturally. It's probably the same gland that made you fat in the first place. Because all bodies are different and while some can't lose weight by using time and again proven natural methods, some people also don't get fat by being ham fisted, chunder eaters. I was fortunate. I gained my weight with zealous effor,t eating shiat and lots of it and being sedentary, and lost it by doing the opposite. I guess when you are so unfortunate to gain weight by osmosis and gland problems, and not by being a chunder-pig, you can't just do the opposite and have it work. I feel shamed to be in the minority, when the majority of people, enough to fuel a medical industry, are so unaturally fat.

I hate to be condescedning, but since you didn't mind being shrill, maybe as the voice of experience you can answer this. What happens in the surgery of shrinking your stomach, that now allows eating less, eating better and exercising more work, when before it just couldn't possibly work?
 
2012-07-27 10:22:43 AM

hbk72777: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good thing you lost the weight, you were a ringer for Larry the Cable Guy before

/or was that the reason you went on a diet?


i felt a need to git r done!
 
2012-07-27 10:23:33 AM
Snatch Bandergrip: Is the Insanity program any good?

Just read about your torn meniscus. Insanity is a LOT of plyo. Lots of jumping. It's non-stop cardio.
I'm sure you could alter it a little, but one whole disc (so at least 1 or 2 days a week of it) is plyometrics.
 
2012-07-27 10:24:30 AM

bel4sucks: Dwight_Yeast: Not sure what you're referring to in my post, but I'm down with huge black cock, fwiw.

Hey good on ya, I just think it's funny any time a white chick decides she wants to fark a black dude a bunch of farkers have to race to point it out. And in this case, my point was 100% true.


Ah, that's what I was afraid of. Part of her ACT is constantly pointing out her love for black cock, which is why I posted what I did because it's funny if you know her routines. It was a joke, which is no longer funny, because I had to explain it to you.

Like any sensible gay man, I'm not about to be the least bit judgmental about with whom anyone sleeps.
 
2012-07-27 10:24:32 AM

tudorgurl:
The band, RNY, sleeve, Duodenal Switch...those are not for "I gotta lose 40 lbs". We're talking a good 100 lbs or more to lose. It is a difficult process to get approved, too. I had to go on a low cal/low glycemic/low sodium diet for a year, get signed off by my primary care physician (no mean feat there), then go through six months of classes at the surgeon's office to teach me how to eat and to deal with the changes coming, THEN see a psychiatrist for three sessions to make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons and know what I'm doing, THEN apply to the insurance for the surgery. It took two years to get approved. But we're not done yet!

After I got approved, I had to go on a three-month liquid diet to prep for the surgery. No solids at all. If I got caught c ...


That's one good thing about having an insurance company not cover bariatric procedures....
I decided to have the procedure done on June 5th
Wired my money the following Monday
Did a three day pre-op liquid diet
and had surgery on June 19th.

No trial diets, no psych evaluations, no mandatory nutrionist meetings, no lengthy liquid diets.

The worst part about the compressed schedule? It cost significantly more frequent flier miles to fly out there on short notice.
 
2012-07-27 10:25:56 AM

tudorgurl: Toquinha: Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.

P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.

That's great, but what about those who are unable to do P90X? I mean, I'm a tubbo, even with the 65 lb weight loss. I've done aerobics classes, elliptical machines, hard core boot camps. My body can't handle those...yet. I'm doing Zumba, Your Shape on Xbox, walking, and eating right.

And to you, Mr. "You must be a freak of nature not to have simple diet & exercise work for you", it must be nice to have it work FOR you. Had it worked for me, I could have saved $30,000 and lots ...


You should realize that you know cannot swallow a whole chicken.
 
2012-07-27 10:30:29 AM

Jim from Saint Paul: So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?


A friend had this procedure done & lost 225lbs in 16 months--dropped from a size 42 to a 12. The surgery rearranges your entire digestion process--cuts off most of the stomach & reattaches the intestines so that most of the food just goes right through. It's more than an extreme diet, though--for the first year or so, you'll lose weight almost regardless of what you eat because you're body has been redesigned to starve. Also, most processed foods become impossible to eat--bread, pasta, and anything with sugar will usually leave you violently ill. Also, since most of the food has to pass right through your tiny stomach, you're forced to eat VERY slowly and chew everything, which teaches them not to shovel in their food.

Why go through this when you can just diet? Because some people's habits are SO ingrained, they just can't break the cycle. Living for a year forced to eat extremely small portions of HEALTHY food, and eat slowly, teaches them the hard way. Most people learn to eat healthy and keep off most of the weight. Eventually, though, the stomach will stretch and, if you're not careful, you'll balloon back up. This happens to the idiots who look at it as the "easy way out".
 
2012-07-27 10:32:19 AM
For the first time in years, there was something inside Lisa Lampanelli that wasn't a monster cock.
 
2012-07-27 10:38:38 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: Toquinha: P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.

Ha, definitely. Horton's a douche, but the program works, I'll give him that. Once I had the exercise forms down (which you DO need to hear and know for correct performance), I would just mute the TV and listen to Pandora.

Is the Insanity program any good?


Whether it's insanity, lap band, GP surgery, Atkins, South Beach or whatever, I think the thing a lot of fatties overlook us what caused us to down a bag of Doritos in one sitting in the first place. My brother and I have had this conversation many, many times as he is an alcoholic who's been sober for several years. The biggest thing with him is that he can wake up in the morning every single day, look in the mirror, and make a decision not to have booze that day. I, on the other hand, cannot wake up every morning and say, I'm just not going to eat today. I have to eat, so I have to eat the right things. I hated the idea of surgery - not because I'm scared about it - but because I know I'm addicted to eating garbage. So I decided to do three things... Get counseling for a food addiction (which I think is very real), hire a dietician and hire a personal trainer. I started in January at 346, and I'm currently at 270 as of Monday. However, I've gone from 33% body fat to 21%, so I've lost more than a third of the fat I had on me. My dietician and trainer have now thrown out the weight loss goals we originally started with, in exchange for body fat percentage goals. Muscle weighs more than fat, and I'm putting on more muscle than I've ever had in my life. When I first started this, I lost about 3 inches around my arms in a matter of two months. Now my arms are 1.5 inches bigger than they were when I started... Same with my legs. I can actually see muscles now. I can see my rib cage. I buy new pants about every three weeks, and I can shop at regular stores now, not the Big and Tall place. I'm 6'3", and most people never knew is was almost 350#, so when they ask where I'm at now, it's a shock to a lot of my friends. I guess I hid it well.

Anyway - the only problem I have with surgical options are that they don't address the underlying issue in the first place. You have to learn how to eat properly, and I'm sorry, but eating 1.5 cups of food 3 times per day just isn't right, and there's not a diet specialist in the world who would ever recommend that. I eat between 2000 and 2500 calories each day, depending on what my workout is going to be that night. If it's just cardio, then it's 2000 calories. If it's cardio plus weights, then it's 2500. And it's good calories, spread out over the course of the day. I don't eat processed foods at all if I can avoid it, and I eat a ton of vegetables and fruit. Protein comes in the form of lean meats like chicken, turkey and fish, and I've never EVER had a problem finding good things to eat when I'm on the road for work or whatever and can't cook myself. Wendy's, Arby's, Subway and lots of other places all have decent options.

The bottom line is that you have to make a LIFE change if you plan on keeping the weight off and being healthy. I was one of those people who had every excuse in the book. "It's my body type." "I broke my leg and my back when I was in the Army, and it hurts too much to work out." "My job keeps me on the road and won't let me eat healthy." All of it is bullshiat. Personally, I don't think the surgical options, fad diets, Insanity programs, P90X or any of that actually changes a person's life the right way. Sure, P90X will cut you really well, but what happens the moment you stop? Surgery will get the weight off fast, but not eating or risking a wicked vomit session is not learning how to eat right. My opinion only - so take it for what it's worth...
 
2012-07-27 10:39:31 AM

brigid_fitch: Jim from Saint Paul: So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?

A friend had this procedure done & lost 225lbs in 16 months--dropped from a size 42 to a 12. The surgery rearranges your entire digestion process--cuts off most of the stomach & reattaches the intestines so that most of the food just goes right through. It's more than an extreme diet, though--for the first year or so, you'll lose weight almost regardless of what you eat because you're body has been redesigned to starve. Also, most processed foods become impossible to eat--bread, pasta, and anything with sugar will usually leave you violently ill. Also, since most of the food has to pass right through your tiny stomach, you're forced to eat VERY slowly and chew everything, which teaches them not to shovel in their food.

Why go through this when you can just diet? Because some people's habits are SO ingrained, they just can't break the cycle. Living for a year forced to eat extremely small portions of HEALTHY food, and eat slowly, teaches them the hard way. Most people learn to eat healthy and keep off most of the weight. Eventually, though, the stomach will stretch and, if you're not careful, you'll balloon back up. This happens to the idiots who look at it as the "easy way out".


I come from Cajun country with many morbidly obese people in my family. And I have watched them over the years try every diet, stapling their earlobes to their necks, wearing magnets and finally to gastric bypass.

And the one consistent thing was it was never their fault they were fat, the diets are the exercise didnt work. Though, eating a salad with 1000 calorie creamy dressing defeats the point as does walking around the track slugging down a smoothie, then sneak eating snickers all day long.

My 94 year old grandmother made this comment to one cousin. The cousin was complaining about how it was all glandular and my grandmother said "Of course it is, you have a gland that makes you stuff you face with food whenever you open your mouth, it controls your arm and makes you reach for that extra piece of pie."

The same cousin also said she lost her sense of taste and my grand ma said "If you can taste your fat ass might as well eat hay."

Overeating is an addiction and a shows supreme lack of self control, like drugs or booze. And I think that while gastric bypass is an option you should treat the underlying psychological problem as well.

And grow a thicker skin over your fatter/thinner one. People are going to call you out when you take the easy ride.

At 42 my metabolism does not work the same way it does when I was a kid. But I force myself to swim 30 minutes a day 5 days a week at 6 am, and do light weight training 3 days.

Fortunately my sainted mother as a kid fed me fruits and vegetables as snacks so I got used to eathing healthy. Left to my own devices i would be eating oyster poboys and french bread with garlic butter all ay long.
 
2012-07-27 10:45:20 AM
LL went to the same Catholic HS as I did. That explains her filthy mouth and fat ass.
 
2012-07-27 10:47:05 AM
theflatline:

Upon looking over your profile, I have one thing to say:

t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-07-27 10:48:44 AM

buntz: theflatline:

Upon looking over your profile, I have one thing to say:

[t2.gstatic.com image 257x196]


I will give my sister in laws free to a good home.

Though the one in the red dress is my back up plan in case something happens to my wife.
 
2012-07-27 10:51:30 AM

theflatline: Though the one in the red dress is my back up plan in case something happens to my wife.


Sorry, "red dress" or the deal is OFF
 
2012-07-27 10:55:45 AM

buntz: theflatline: Though the one in the red dress is my back up plan in case something happens to my wife.

Sorry, "red dress" or the deal is OFF


Ok, but there might have to be some monetary compensation.

Her name is Juliana, she is 24 years old, studies mathematics, likes to dance, cooking and cleaning, has a wicked sense of humor, brilliant, sexy, and no kids. And she always smells like apples when she hugs me. Sexy apples.
 
2012-07-27 10:58:57 AM
I lost 23 lbs over 2 months this year doing the Insanity Workout. I wasn't super overweight to begin with, but I was the heaviest I'd ever been at 208 lbs (I'm 6'1).

It's a great program and like P90X, it's really flexible as far as accommodating different people at different fitness levels. What I like about Insanity over P90X (I've done both now), is that it's not as big a time commitment and it doesn't require any equipment other than a DVD player, water, and a towel. I travel a lot with my job an it was super convenient to be able to exercise in my hotel room.

I'd recommend to any one.
 
2012-07-27 11:02:09 AM
Like the angry fist of God
 
2012-07-27 11:04:19 AM
I'd tap Lisa Lampanelli's ass till she looked like Marty Feldman
 
2012-07-27 11:09:45 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: "Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat


I had a friend that had the same issue. He got the lap band and died 6 months later. His body was unable to adjust and he couldn't eat enough to keep his blood sugar regulated even with the strict diet he was given. Be aware of medical issues that cannot handle the weight loss. A lot of doctor's won't even look into this because they make their money and fat people are bad, m'kay.

At 300 lbs, you are really not "large" enough to warrant a lap band. The rule of thumb is that If you can still move around, then you don't truly need it. Those of us with poor genetics and gland issues will always be fat regardless of what we do. I have family members that got the band and gained back all the weight after a year or 2 after their bodies caught on.

From personal experience, my doctor told me that if I lost some weight, I would no longer be type II diabetic. I was 250 lbs then. I got down to 220 so and that that was true for a little while after losing some weight. After about 6 months, I was thinner with an even higher blood sugar, even with a modified diabetic diet. I lost more weight and it had no affect. They changed my meds to combat my increased blood sugar and WHAM! 75 lb weight gain and it's even hard to drop it even with 2-4 miles of walking a day and watching what I eat... I can out walk most of the people that work out every day. I am still fat. So whatever...do whatever you can to be "healthy" and "happy" and F the rest.
 
2012-07-27 11:12:02 AM

tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.


I'm sorry, but if you do what he did, i.e. stop farking eating so much you are going to see results. Humans don't really differ much. Eat (way) less and you're going to lose weight. If you don't see results, eat less. It's simple physics. The body needs calories to function and it's going to start using your fat reserves if you don't eat so much.

Gastric weight loss surgery is the ultimate get out of jail free card. Not saying that you shouldn't do it if you don't have the self-control. But don't tell people that you had no other choice.
 
2012-07-27 11:15:28 AM

Dufus: Just wait until she's about 5 years out on that surgery and the side effects start popping up.
Almost 100% chance of having a gall bladder removal
Possible increased chance of fibromyalgia
Possible dumping syndrome (well, he mouth takes care of that already, but...)
Possible recurring bouts of dehydration
Several vitamin and mineral deficiencies with their associated problems
Possible hyper-para-thyroidism (causes bone loss, muscle cramps and loss, and repeated kidney stones)

Those are just the ones off the top of my fuzzy morning head.

That line the doctors feed people about just needing to take two Flintstone vitamins a day to deal with the requirements is a crock.

A few years ago there was a big push around here for women (especially) to get a bypass. All the overweight nurses where my wife worked rushed to have the "miracle surgery" done. That was about 8 years ago;every last one now has serious lasting effects all but two of them have gained at least 75% of their weight back with some gaining more and exceeding their former weight.

Don't mind me, I'm just a bit bitter after seeing the resulting medical problems my wife and her former co-workers have had.

As to right now
:"You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."
That means she has to start swallowing instead of spitting?


As with any medical procedure, it's best to use a qualified surgeon and staff. The doctors touting the Flintstone vitamins are quacks - no surgeon worth anything would be saying that.

I had LASIK 13 years ago - I found one of the most qualified doctors in the country. The procedure went perfect. I haven't had any complications or problems. It cost more than the bulk-rate shops that got setup later ($300 per eye and we'll fly you to Mexico). Others who went the less-expensive route have had issues.

I had RNY 18 months ago. I lost all of my excess weight (over 160 lbs) in about 10 months and have maintained it. My doctor gave me the possible complications, gave me the diet changes and lifestyle changes - he didn't sugarcoat anything. Up front, I was told that I would need to take a certain amount of vitamins for the rest of my life, etc. I have not had one issue of dumping, never had kidney stones, still have my gall bladder, no complications at all. But then again, I follow the doctors advice. Dehydration? drink the water recommended (I drink water throughout the day - almost always have a bottle of water with me). I stuck to the recommend menu and followed the timetable set out by my physician and his staff. I have not had any problem eating anything (I eat pizza, hamburgers, steak, pasta, etc). I just don't eat as much and now I am able to exercise too.

Weighing that much, it was pretty much physically impossible to exercise. If you've never been that heavy, then you can't really understand. Now that I'm much smaller, sometimes I have a hard time understanding why I wasn't able to get moving before. For me, every time I tried to diet (i.e. limit calories, etc), I would become physically ill. Headaches, migraines were debilitating. I would end up not being able to work because of it - and with a family to support, keeping the job becomes more of a priority. I was able to obtain a much better lifestyle - since my surgery I have not called in sick to work once, I used to get headaches and migraines weekly, but now it's been about 3 in 18 months. And the list of benefits goes on.
 
2012-07-27 11:19:10 AM
Damn... I thought she was pretty attractive
 
2012-07-27 11:25:01 AM
Wow, this thread turned into a Curves meeting pretty quick.
 
2012-07-27 11:32:19 AM

evoke: tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.

I'm sorry, but if you do what he did, i.e. stop farking eating so much you are going to see results. Humans don't really ...


You will see results. But not everyone has the STRENGTH Its no different than a smoker who can't seem to stop buying them even though they hate themselves for it. It can be easier if you have a support structure (i.e. friends and family that you talk with about your habits) but without support its not any different than any other kind of junkie that would give anything to stop. Food for addicts really does turn on the same *ahhh...* receptors that drugs do.

Of course this is fark where everyone is ripped and has no mental issues or addictions, so what am i saying. pull up the bootstraps.
 
2012-07-27 11:53:02 AM

rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.


I know, right? It's so weird to see people use technology to achieve results easier when they could achieve the same results with much, much, much more effort without the technology!!!!

Why, just the other day I watched some construction workers breaking up concrete with a pneumatic jackhammer, picking it up with a CAT and loading it off in a dump truck . I just shook my head in disbelief knowing that I could break up that concrete by hand with a sledgehammer and transport it one small piece at a time carrying it by foot and eventually accomplish the same thing. What a bunch of morans!!!!
 
2012-07-27 12:12:35 PM

InmanRoshi: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

I know, right? It's so weird to see people use technology to achieve results easier when they could achieve the same results with much, much, much more effort without the technology!!!!

Why, just the other day I watched some construction workers breaking up concrete with a pneumatic jackhammer, picking it up with a CAT and loading it off in a dump truck . I just shook my head in disbelief knowing that I could break up that concrete by hand with a sledgehammer and transport it one small piece at a time carrying it by foot and eventually accomplish the same thing. What a bunch of morans!!!!


Achieving weight loss through exercise and diet is really not that much effort, and is significantly cheaper and doesn't come with the associated health problems of this specific invasive surgery.
 
2012-07-27 12:13:37 PM

MayoSlather: phedex: Bottom line, some can not help themselves without help.

Stan, it's a disease.

[southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com image 480x360]


Stan? Staaaaaaan!!!!
 
2012-07-27 12:15:18 PM
"Today, it is also clear that GBP has an early and very profound positive effect on glucose homeostasis. Several studies have examined the effect of GBP on glucose homeostasis 3-4 weeks after GBP; mean BMI was not significantly changed, but fasting plasma glucose and insulin were significantly reduced. Insulin resistance improved after 4 weeks and continued to improve over the 6 months of follow-up (8,9)." Link

This is for those who think various types of gastric bypass surgeries don't affect body chemistry and metabolism. Of course they do, your gut produces all kinds of hormones and enzymes that regulate appetite, metabolism, glucose levels, etc which make weight loss for some much easier than the "put down the donut, fatty" method that some advocate. If you "bypass" these parts of the gut, or remove them, it's easier to lose weight. It's also easier to become malnourished as well.

For the P90X folks, despite anecdotal short term effects, it's also extremely hard to lose weight with exercise alone.
Link
 
2012-07-27 12:16:47 PM
i165.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-27 12:17:11 PM
Whatever you do, however you do it, never, ever forget the importance of knowing how to use these:

turekonmenshealth.com

skinnybulkup.com
 
2012-07-27 12:20:40 PM

Snatch Bandergrip: "Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat


I had GB surgery six years ago. I have had no complications. Went from 262 to 135. There was no way I was going to be able to do it on my own---I tried for so many years, yoyo dieting, exercise, all kinds of madness. Honestly, as difficult as the surgery was (and it was a tough one), I would do it once a year every year if that's what it took to keep my smokin' hot body. I work out a lot now to stay in shape, and I do have to watch what I eat. I'm a success story, and incredibly lucky. The upside is that in the last six years, the surgery (from what I understand) has gone from totally invasive to not-so-bad. Look into it.
 
2012-07-27 12:24:23 PM
Back to the topic: Lisa is a nasty pig who presented herself badly on Celebrity Apprentice.
 
2012-07-27 12:26:09 PM
Achieving weight loss through exercise and diet is really not that much effort.

It doesn't take that much effort to do a lot of things that we otherwise use technology for. That's hardly a sound reason to forgo technology. I know Lamponelli has been on talk shows before talking about spending extensive time in "fat camps" with dieticians and personal trainers, so she's hardly lacked exposure or prolonged time periods of traditional diet and exercise. As to how simple it is to lose weight or how big of a health-risk it is, that's for the individual and doctor to decide. Having a surgical procedure is certainly much more healthy than a lifetime of obesity.


The bottomline is anyone who's saying people shouldn't use technology to make lives easier is a troglodyte and a mouth-breather. It doesn't make you any less of a mouth-breathing troglodyte when the particular subject is weight loss.
 
2012-07-27 12:32:16 PM

Eustacia Vye: "Today, it is also clear that GBP has an early and very profound positive effect on glucose homeostasis. Several studies have examined the effect of GBP on glucose homeostasis 3-4 weeks after GBP; mean BMI was not significantly changed, but fasting plasma glucose and insulin were significantly reduced. Insulin resistance improved after 4 weeks and continued to improve over the 6 months of follow-up (8,9)." Link

This is for those who think various types of gastric by, pass surgeries don't affect body chemistry and metabolism. Of course they do, your gut produces all kinds of hormones and enzymes that regulate appetite, metabolism, glucose levels, etc which make weight loss for some much easier than the "put down the donut, fatty" method that some advocate. If you "bypass" these parts of the gut, or remove them, it's easier to lose weight. It's also easier to become malnourished as well.

For the P90X folks, despite anecdotal short term effects, it's also extremely hard to lose weight with exercise alone.
Link


Actually, my personal experience with p90x was profound strength LOSS. I decided to do it for 3 months to switch up my normal routine a couple years ago. What i found is it left me extremely lethargic every day of the week, and definitely the amounts of calories eating following the diet were certainly not enough. I did lose 20 pounds doing it. But it made a major dent in every lift that I did, and took quite a while to get that strength back.
 
2012-07-27 12:45:21 PM

phedex: Eustacia Vye: "Today, it is also clear that GBP has an early and very profound positive effect on glucose homeostasis. Several studies have examined the effect of GBP on glucose homeostasis 3-4 weeks after GBP; mean BMI was not significantly changed, but fasting plasma glucose and insulin were significantly reduced. Insulin resistance improved after 4 weeks and continued to improve over the 6 months of follow-up (8,9)." Link

This is for those who think various types of gastric by, pass surgeries don't affect body chemistry and metabolism. Of course they do, your gut produces all kinds of hormones and enzymes that regulate appetite, metabolism, glucose levels, etc which make weight loss for some much easier than the "put down the donut, fatty" method that some advocate. If you "bypass" these parts of the gut, or remove them, it's easier to lose weight. It's also easier to become malnourished as well.

For the P90X folks, despite anecdotal short term effects, it's also extremely hard to lose weight with exercise alone.
Link

Actually, my personal experience with p90x was profound strength LOSS. I decided to do it for 3 months to switch up my normal routine a couple years ago. What i found is it left me extremely lethargic every day of the week, and definitely the amounts of calories eating following the diet were certainly not enough. I did lose 20 pounds doing it. But it made a major dent in every lift that I did, and took quite a while to get that strength back.


That's not really too surprising. p90x runs the line very close to overtraining. And it achieves faster weight loss through cutting calories even more. A lot of great routines will cause you to lose weight (or lose body fat, because that's really what we all want) but actually increase your caloric intake.
 
2012-07-27 12:48:33 PM

Snatch Bandergrip: "Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat


I dropped 170 pounds in a little over a year doing the Atkins diet and going to the gym religiously. From 350 to 180. If you're doing weight training then remember that you're gaining heavy muscle. You could be bulking up on lean mass.

The Atkins worked well for me. As per the science behind it. Your body needs carbs for energy and body fat is stored carbs. The less carbs you eat the more stored carbs your body will burn. I mostly stuck to the induction phase which is no more than 20 carbs for two weeks. I did it for two months which isn't reccomended by the atkins people. But the weight almost melted off.

A fat stomach is like a camel hump or the fat for on a hibernating bear. All the extra protein will build up your muscles. The key is to supplement with a bunch of fresh veggies. Chicken caesar salads come in handy. So doesn't half of the Chinese food menu. Where many dishes are meat with broccoli/mushrooms/or peas. Also the appetizer menu has many broiled or unbreaded fried meat items on it
 
2012-07-27 12:48:45 PM
I can't believe people are actually saying that we shouldn't trust those swarthy, unreliable medical MDs and scientists, but we should better trust some fake-tanned, capped teeth douche selling workout videos on infomercials.
 
2012-07-27 12:52:16 PM

verbaltoxin: Whatever you do, however you do it, never, ever forget the importance of knowing how to use these:


This.
 
2012-07-27 12:59:35 PM

lectos: Snatch Bandergrip: "Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat

I had a friend that had the same issue. He got the lap band and died 6 months later. His body was unable to adjust and he couldn't eat enough to keep his blood sugar regulated even with the strict diet he was given. Be aware of medical issues that cannot handle the weight loss. A lot of doctor's won't even look into this because they make their money and fat people are bad, m'kay.

At 300 lbs, you are really not "large" enough to warrant a lap band. The rule of thumb is that If you can still move around, then you don't truly need it. Those of us with poor genetics and gland issues will always be fat regardless of what we do. I have family members that got the band and gained back all the weight after a year or 2 after their bodies caught on.

From personal experience, my doctor told me that if I lost some weight, I would no longer be type II diabetic. I was 250 lbs then. I got down to 220 so and that that was true for a little while after losing some weight. After about 6 months, I was thinner with an even higher blood sugar, even with a modified diabetic diet. I lost more weight and it had no affect. They changed my meds to combat my increased blood sugar and WHAM! 75 lb weight gain and it's even hard to drop it even with 2-4 miles of walking a day and watching what I eat... I can out walk most of the people that work out every day. I am still fat. So whatever...do whatever you can to be "healthy" and "happy" and F the rest.


There is a point with type II where your body will shed an extreme amount of weight because of whacked out levels. Then it will switch back and you'll gain weight. You will yo yo, a bit because of the diabetuus. But keep up the diet and you will eventually get things evened out
 
2012-07-27 01:04:01 PM

bionicjoe: I think she's funny.
It's the same joke over & over, but she's funny when I'm in the mood for mindless cock jokes.


Andrew "Dice" Clay with breasts.
 
2012-07-27 01:09:12 PM
I know she's a total mud duck, but how are "the blacks" going to find her attractive now?

/lulz
 
2012-07-27 01:18:42 PM
Still funnier than Sarah Silverman and Whitney Cummings.
 
2012-07-27 01:24:37 PM

Already Disturbed: Still funnier than Sarah Silverman and Whitney Cummings.

 
2012-07-27 01:34:39 PM

bel4sucks: Dwight_Yeast: Not sure what you're referring to in my post, but I'm down with huge black cock, fwiw.

Hey good on ya, I just think it's funny any time a white chick decides she wants to fark a black dude a bunch of farkers have to race to point it out. And in this case, my point was 100% true.


I'm not sure they are pointing out anything except that's a big part of her stand up routine, actually almost the only part of her stand up routine.
 
2012-07-27 01:41:14 PM

InmanRoshi: I can't believe people are actually saying that we shouldn't trust those swarthy, unreliable medical MDs and scientists, but we should better trust some fake-tanned, capped teeth douche selling workout videos on infomercials.


Well you could always trust no one and start running, maybe not eating deep fried butter would help as well.
 
2012-07-27 01:45:46 PM

bel4sucks: Dwight_Yeast: huge black cock pullin

FinFangFark: licking the black cock

Proof positive that what people write says more about the author than it could ever say about the subject matter.

Especially the one who said "licking" instead of "liking"


Not sure if you know this, but having black boyfriends is a big part of Lisa Lampanelli's stand up act. The posters were just referencing that ..
 
2012-07-27 02:11:46 PM
Now if she just did something about that mug...
 
2012-07-27 02:28:43 PM
Great, now we get the Fark Skinny Geek squad to inform us all of their physical superiority.

fxvperformances.com

This physique doesn't just happen. I have the will power to only eat Cheetos and drink Moutain Dew in moderation during my marathon Portal2 sessions.
 
2012-07-27 02:32:10 PM

InmanRoshi: Great, now we get the Fark Skinny Geek squad to inform us all of their physical superiority.

[fxvperformances.com image 266x424]

This physique doesn't just happen. I have the will power to only eat Cheetos and drink Moutain Dew in moderation during my marathon Portal2 sessions.


You sound fat.
 
2012-07-27 02:34:20 PM

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Now if she just did something about that mug...


img.photobucket.com

I kinda like it myself...
 
2012-07-27 03:15:39 PM

InmanRoshi: I can't believe people are actually saying that we shouldn't trust those swarthy, unreliable medical MDs and scientists, but we should better trust some fake-tanned, capped teeth douche selling workout videos on infomercials.


Quite the straw man. No one is saying that, and few doctors recommend surgery over diet and exercise.
 
2012-07-27 03:26:12 PM

Snatch Bandergrip: "Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat


Was a "Homer type" here. Getting better the hard way. For what it's worth, maybe this can help you as much as it has helped my family.

Mark's Daily Apple

No gimmicks, nothing to buy (although I would suggest reading his book).

Best of luck to you.

-70 lbs and counting
 
2012-07-27 03:33:19 PM
If you're looking to get into shape and you're a male, do burpees. You do two sets -- as many as you can do within 1 minute. I supplement this with some sit-ups, push ups, light weight lifting repetitions and yoga. I exercise about 15-20 min every other day and it's been enough to see a noticeable difference in a month.
 
2012-07-27 04:05:56 PM

FinFangFark: Was there any mention of her licking the black cock?


She does mention eating tons of protein.
 
2012-07-27 04:39:15 PM

verbaltoxin: Whatever you do, however you do it, never, ever forget the importance of knowing how to use these:

[turekonmenshealth.com image 316x266]

[skinnybulkup.com image 458x246]


A rolling pin and 3 burger presses?
 
2012-07-27 04:55:32 PM
The only female comedian i can stand to listen to right now is Amy Schumer.
 
2012-07-27 04:58:27 PM
Was forced to watch her Celebrity Apprentice performance. Will somebody punch her in the face, repeatedly....please? She is ugly-as-sin inside and out.
 
2012-07-27 05:27:55 PM
www.heehaw.com
I've got a new miracle weight loss pill, three times a day you take the cap off the bottle, sprinkle them around on the floor then bend over and pick them up.
 
2012-07-27 06:01:41 PM

Dissociater: phedex: Eustacia Vye: "Today, it is also clear that GBP has an early and very profound positive effect on glucose homeostasis. Several studies have examined the effect of GBP on glucose homeostasis 3-4 weeks after GBP; mean BMI was not significantly changed, but fasting plasma glucose and insulin were significantly reduced. Insulin resistance improved after 4 weeks and continued to improve over the 6 months of follow-up (8,9)." Link

This is for those who think various types of gastric by, pass surgeries don't affect body chemistry and metabolism. Of course they do, your gut produces all kinds of hormones and enzymes that regulate appetite, metabolism, glucose levels, etc which make weight loss for some much easier than the "put down the donut, fatty" method that some advocate. If you "bypass" these parts of the gut, or remove them, it's easier to lose weight. It's also easier to become malnourished as well.

For the P90X folks, despite anecdotal short term effects, it's also extremely hard to lose weight with exercise alone.
Link

Actually, my personal experience with p90x was profound strength LOSS. I decided to do it for 3 months to switch up my normal routine a couple years ago. What i found is it left me extremely lethargic every day of the week, and definitely the amounts of calories eating following the diet were certainly not enough. I did lose 20 pounds doing it. But it made a major dent in every lift that I did, and took quite a while to get that strength back.

That's not really too surprising. p90x runs the line very close to overtraining. And it achieves faster weight loss through cutting calories even more. A lot of great routines will cause you to lose weight (or lose body fat, because that's really what we all want) but actually increase your caloric intake.


I did p90x last year and the diet plan had me eating a lot more than what I did previously, I actually gained weight the first few weeks of the program, which was normal according to them. I don't know that I'd say it's too close to overtraining, one day you'd do weights and push-ups and junk then the next you'd do cardio then the next stretching then maybe legs or something. I got a lot stronger and all my aches and pains went away and my energy level went way up. I didn't get all awesome looking like the guys on the commercial but some of them I know didn't do it in 90 days, the one guy who talks about how fat he was did it over a year but they kind of give you the impression it only took him 90 days.

I've never been fat but I did start to get a gut, p90x got rid of it. I wish I would have kept it up, I'm fixin' to jump on insanity.
 
2012-07-27 06:12:06 PM

Eustacia Vye:

For the P90X folks, despite anecdotal short term effects, it's also extremely hard to lose weight with exercise alone.
Link


P90x is half diet, they make it a point to tell you not to expect to get the best results if you don't follow the diet. They actually have you eat more than you normally would for the energy, and eat healthier with a well thought out diet plan. I believe one of the quotes in the literature is "abs are made in the kitchen".
 
2012-07-28 03:24:11 AM
My sister had the gastric bypass. It makes your stomach much smaller and bypasses a good part of your small intestine, so you don't absorb much of what you eat. I don't know how a person has this and isn't chronically malnourished. I've also heard people say that they are starving all the time because you can't eat very much food.

She lost a lot of weight but has gained some of it back. Apparently you can stretch out what's left of your stomach and eat more. Plus you can still eat too many calories, you just have to spread them throughout the day.

But she's the classic example of someone who didn't deal with any of the psychological issues. We both have them (our Mom could have written a book on creating eating disorders) but I've managed to mostly deal with them. And there are certain things that I can feel kicking in; I tell my husband and he helps me over them. But my sister is also somewhat delusional, she once told me that her body didn't gain weight from calories, it gained them from fat grams. This was after I told her that 350 calories of pizza and a salad was a reasonable meal.

As for those of you who have trouble losing weight, get your thyroid checked. I couldn't lose weight until I got on the proper dose of thyroid meds. Now I'm losing weight without changing my eating habits which were pretty good, not great. Lately I've been focusing on improving my eating and really keeping track of calories.

I've been considering PX90, but I have two very bad knees. But it sounds like I can adapt it, am I right? Would I likely be able to do most of it? I'd like to find one of those cardio with weights programs. Any suggestions?
 
2012-07-28 05:29:04 AM

Phins: My sister had the gastric bypass. It makes your stomach much smaller and bypasses a good part of your small intestine, so you don't absorb much of what you eat. I don't know how a person has this and isn't chronically malnourished. I've also heard people say that they are starving all the time because you can't eat very much food.

She lost a lot of weight but has gained some of it back. Apparently you can stretch out what's left of your stomach and eat more. Plus you can still eat too many calories, you just have to spread them throughout the day.

But she's the classic example of someone who didn't deal with any of the psychological issues. We both have them (our Mom could have written a book on creating eating disorders) but I've managed to mostly deal with them. And there are certain things that I can feel kicking in; I tell my husband and he helps me over them. But my sister is also somewhat delusional, she once told me that her body didn't gain weight from calories, it gained them from fat grams. This was after I told her that 350 calories of pizza and a salad was a reasonable meal.

As for those of you who have trouble losing weight, get your thyroid checked. I couldn't lose weight until I got on the proper dose of thyroid meds. Now I'm losing weight without changing my eating habits which were pretty good, not great. Lately I've been focusing on improving my eating and really keeping track of calories.

I've been considering PX90, but I have two very bad knees. But it sounds like I can adapt it, am I right? Would I likely be able to do most of it? I'd like to find one of those cardio with weights programs. Any suggestions?


I've had 2 major knee surgeries myself (one on each knee) and yes you can adapt just just about everything in P90X to a low impact variation.
 
2012-07-28 11:18:55 AM

MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.


26 minutes.
 
2012-07-28 02:59:43 PM

wallywam1: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

26 minutes.


Yeah I thought that when I was typing it. I stand by it though even if I did express it in a douchey manner.
 
2012-07-28 03:44:17 PM

Already Disturbed: Still funnier than Sarah Silverman and Whitney Cummings.


Talk about setting the bar low...
 
2012-07-28 05:52:23 PM
exercise.
 
2012-07-28 07:10:52 PM

MayoSlather: wallywam1: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

26 minutes.

Yeah I thought that when I was typing it. I stand by it though even if I did express it in a douchey manner.


Respect.
 
2012-07-28 08:56:01 PM
Lisa Lampinelli lost 120 pounds when Flavor Flav fell out of her ass.
 
2012-07-28 09:14:35 PM
Fat was the source of all her power.
 
2012-07-30 04:16:25 AM

Canton: Alphax: MDGeist: Who?

I think I saw her on the Shatner Roast. The version in the picture looks about half the size.

Guess she's a stand-up comic.


It's so cute when Farkers prance into a thread to feign ignorance about pop culture. 'Cause even if they weren't full of shiat, it's not like they could just google her, right?

"Oh, Lisa something? I might have seen her in that Shatner roast, what was that show again? The one I set the DVR to record so I wouldn't miss it? I usually just watch cats washing themselves for six hours on C-SPAN, and of course Book Chat, but I made an exception for Shatner. Has anyone seen my clove cigarettes?"
 
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