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(Starpulse)   Lisa Lampanelli's gastric weight loss surgery leaves her with a hollow empty feeling in her stomach. Now she gets to experience what it's like to attend one of her shows   (starpulse.com) divider line 126
    More: Followup, Lisa Lampanelli, dress size  
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11885 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Jul 2012 at 8:49 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-27 08:51:37 AM  
Bad subby! should have gone for an empty like a huge black cock pulling out joke in the headline.
 
2012-07-27 08:53:07 AM  
Ftfa:"You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

I really hate when people say 'you' when they mean 'I'. I don't have to do any of that shiat because I have self-control. No surgery required.
 
2012-07-27 08:53:41 AM  
Who?
 
2012-07-27 08:55:15 AM  
Was there any mention of her licking the black cock?

Because she does, and reminds you every chance she gets.

Oh, it's coming.

Heh...coming.
 
2012-07-27 08:55:41 AM  

MDGeist: Who?


I think I saw her on the Shatner Roast. The version in the picture looks about half the size.
 
2012-07-27 08:56:59 AM  
So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?
 
2012-07-27 09:04:07 AM  
How is she going to make jokes about black men loving fat white women now?
 
2012-07-27 09:05:40 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: huge black cock pullin


FinFangFark: licking the black cock


Proof positive that what people write says more about the author than it could ever say about the subject matter.

Especially the one who said "licking" instead of "liking"
 
2012-07-27 09:09:26 AM  
Is her husband still a fatass? or was this one of those couples thing.
 
2012-07-27 09:10:28 AM  
"Doctors Remove 80 Percent Of Lisa Lampanelli's Stomach"

So she is going to switch to asians?
 
2012-07-27 09:10:52 AM  

Jim from Saint Paul: So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?


Don't worry. A bunch of guys who could stunt double for Homer Simpson will be in shortly to explain how it's 'taking the easy way' shortly.
 
2012-07-27 09:13:19 AM  
FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.
 
2012-07-27 09:17:55 AM  

LowbrowDeluxe: Jim from Saint Paul: So gastric bypass surgery is basically the most expensive and extreme diet you could ever go on, right? I mean, you only get to eat a small amount of food or you could kill yourself.

Am I missing something about this procedure?

Don't worry. A bunch of guys who could stunt double for Homer Simpson will be in shortly to explain how it's 'taking the easy way' shortly.


As one of the Homer-esque ones I don't think it's taking an easy way, quite the opposite. What has always stood out to me is that it's a physical procedure to force changes that could be made mentally. It's sadder to see the people who do think it's an easy way, fail after the procedure because they still have to do all those things they hadn't been able to do before in reducing their food amounts, increasing the quality of that food, and exercise.
 
2012-07-27 09:19:30 AM  

bel4sucks: Dwight_Yeast: huge black cock pullin

FinFangFark: licking the black cock

Proof positive that what people write says more about the author than it could ever say about the subject matter.

Especially the one who said "licking" instead of "liking"


Not sure what you're referring to in my post, but I'm down with huge black cock, fwiw.
 
2012-07-27 09:19:50 AM  

rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.


Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.
 
2012-07-27 09:20:38 AM  
Too bad Greg Giraldo's not still around. I bet he'd have a field day with this on the next roast.
 
2012-07-27 09:24:22 AM  

Alphax: MDGeist: Who?

I think I saw her on the Shatner Roast. The version in the picture looks about half the size.


Guess she's a stand-up comic. Wish the article had included a "before" picture. Maybe this will work.

redalertlive.com

/hot
 
2012-07-27 09:25:10 AM  
I think she's funny.
It's the same joke over & over, but she's funny when I'm in the mood for mindless cock jokes.
 
2012-07-27 09:28:44 AM  

Phoenix_M: Is her husband still a fatass? or was this one of those couples thing.


FTFA:

Lampanelli's husband had the same procedure a few weeks after she did. "Combined we lost a total of 105 pounds so far," she noted.
 
2012-07-27 09:30:01 AM  

rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.


Good thing you lost the weight, you were a ringer for Larry the Cable Guy before

/or was that the reason you went on a diet?
 
2012-07-27 09:30:11 AM  
This is from memory, but bariatric surgery makes it easier to stick to a low calorie regimen because of the resultant hormonal appetite supression. Many people can' t successfully lose weight due to extreme intrusive feelings of hunger and the surgery helps with this.
 
2012-07-27 09:31:09 AM  
So she couldn't have just eaten what she now does without getting the surgery?

Does the surgery just put a gun to your head?
 
2012-07-27 09:31:46 AM  
I've never heard of her. However, after reading this thread, I don't think I've missed much.
 
2012-07-27 09:31:54 AM  

bionicjoe: mindless cock jokes.


My cock is erudite, so it's not really getting a kick out of her jokes.
 
2012-07-27 09:31:54 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: Not sure what you're referring to in my post, but I'm down with huge black cock, fwiw.


Hey good on ya, I just think it's funny any time a white chick decides she wants to fark a black dude a bunch of farkers have to race to point it out. And in this case, my point was 100% true.
 
2012-07-27 09:34:19 AM  
"Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat
 
2012-07-27 09:34:36 AM  
I know her from watching last season's Celebrity Apprentice. That show would always film her fat ass leaving the boardroom. I bet showing that over and over inspired her to do something about her weight.
 
2012-07-27 09:42:10 AM  

tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.


You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.
 
2012-07-27 09:43:33 AM  

tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.


Agreed.

Even if you are an extraordinarily active person, some people don't know how to quit eating too much. I definitely fall into this category and (now, twice) in my life have had to go through periods of forcing myself to change. I would put myself into a much more fit/exercises a substantial amount more than the average person. I've lifted weights and done cardio on a continual basis since my early 20's.

HOWEVER.

I am also a person who can easily sit down and eat a giant bag of doritos. Large quantities of fast food. etc. You know those people that can buy a bag of junk food and it lasts all week? I eat it in a couple hours. Falling back into those habits is extremely easy and second nature. This is foreign to a lot of people.

Bottom line, some can not help themselves without help. I'm fortunate that I have a great exercise regime in that without, i probably would have hit 280 instead of 240 before I went HOLY shiat WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING THE LAST 6 MONTHS, I DID IT AGAIN ARRRRGH.

Since may 19th, i've went from 241 to currently 218. I am close to looking fit and muscular again. But for me this takes a daily, conscious and honestly serious effort to maintain health. I have to think about everything that I eat, and grocery stores are full of little victories where i surpass my intense desire to buy a box of ice cream sandwiches and a bunch of bags of chips. I have to tell myself to not stop at fast food joints. I would consider this somewhat similar to an alcoholic walking past a liqour aisle.

people who talk shiat, simply don't have this problem so don't know how to relate. But the shiat talkers, chances are as well have some other unhealthy activities in their lives. Maybe they drink too much. Maybe they smoke too much. Or maybe they are the extraordinary person who is just perfectly healthy and has no compulsions, and if so you need to be very thankful that you are one of the few people that lives without such compulsions.
 
2012-07-27 09:49:56 AM  

MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.


I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.
 
2012-07-27 09:53:11 AM  

phedex: Bottom line, some can not help themselves without help.


Stan, it's a disease.

southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com
 
2012-07-27 09:53:30 AM  

tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.


RNY here. Best decision I ever made. 100 pounds permanently gone, back pain gone, and I run marathons. I ran before I had the surgery, including a half marathon, but I was never able to lose more than 30-40 pounds, even with diet changes.

I don't really care if people think it's the easy way out. It's the way that worked for me, so I'm happy I did it.
 
2012-07-27 09:57:18 AM  

Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.


P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.
 
2012-07-27 09:57:29 AM  
Wow. Someone actually recommended Doucherobics. We're off and running folks.

100 push-ups
 
2012-07-27 09:59:04 AM  

CheetahOlivetti: RNY here. Best decision I ever made. 100 pounds permanently gone, back pain gone, and I run marathons. I ran before I had the surgery, including a half marathon, but I was never able to lose more than 30-40 pounds, even with diet changes.

I don't really care if people think it's the easy way out. It's the way that worked for me, so I'm happy I did it.



Good for you, dear. fark the haters.
 
2012-07-27 09:59:58 AM  

bel4sucks: Dwight_Yeast: Not sure what you're referring to in my post, but I'm down with huge black cock, fwiw.

Hey good on ya, I just think it's funny any time a white chick decides she wants to fark a black dude a bunch of farkers have to race to point it out. And in this case, my point was 100% true.


Even if every single person on fark pointed it out, it still wouldn't compare to the number of times she herself has brought attention to it.
 
2012-07-27 10:01:36 AM  

Toquinha: P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.


Ha, definitely. Horton's a douche, but the program works, I'll give him that. Once I had the exercise forms down (which you DO need to hear and know for correct performance), I would just mute the TV and listen to Pandora.

Is the Insanity program any good?
 
2012-07-27 10:02:59 AM  

Toquinha: Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.

P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.


That's great, but what about those who are unable to do P90X? I mean, I'm a tubbo, even with the 65 lb weight loss. I've done aerobics classes, elliptical machines, hard core boot camps. My body can't handle those...yet. I'm doing Zumba, Your Shape on Xbox, walking, and eating right.

And to you, Mr. "You must be a freak of nature not to have simple diet & exercise work for you", it must be nice to have it work FOR you. Had it worked for me, I could have saved $30,000 and lots of bulimic moments and heartache and watching other people eat because a piece of food I chewed for farking HOURS STILL got stuck and I can't eat anymore. I could have saved the implantation of a device that squeezes off part of my stomach. Oh my goodness! If only I'd met you before!

/seriously
//do you REALLY think I would have had the surgery if simple diet & exercise had helped me drop 150 lbs?
 
2012-07-27 10:04:28 AM  

MayoSlather: You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.


Good thing you're not my doctor, then.
 
2012-07-27 10:05:05 AM  

tudorgurl: rudemix: FTA:"which means you can eat about four ounces three times a day, which is about a cup-and-a-half of food. You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to exercise every day to keep your energy up. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."

She had surgery of her stomach to affect her eating/diet habits. Which is weird, because when I went from 350+ to where I am now, I just did the change of eating/diet habits. She also exercised everyday to keep her energy (actually metabolism) up, which is weird because I also exercised everyday. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass and thinking that if I could have had that surgery, I could have had all the fun aspects of post-op, copays and deductibles and still do the radical changes of diet and exercise.

I love how she speaks of this regimen as if it's some new and unique way of losing weight. You had surgery to force you to do what most people with common sense know you need to do to lose weight; eat less, eat less crappy food, move your ass more.

Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

As someone who has had the LAP-BAND, I can tell you this is NOT the easy way out. There are so many things I can no longer eat because they will get "stuck" and cause me to vomit. However, I've lost 65 lbs so far using the band, diet and exercise.

Unfortunately, people like you who have such condescending attitudes don't make it any easier or better. But you know what? You really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, so there's that.


So I should feel bad that you can't eat things because of surgery you elected to have instead of using self control?
 
2012-07-27 10:07:42 AM  
Whatever works, good on you, Lisa!
/weighed about 300 lbs a decade ago
//not so much now
 
2012-07-27 10:09:04 AM  

tudorgurl: Toquinha: Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.

P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.

That's great, but what about those who are unable to do P90X? I mean, I'm a tubbo, even with the 65 lb weight loss. I've done aerobics classes, elliptical machines, hard core boot camps. My body can't handle those...yet. I'm doing Zumba, Your Shape on Xbox, walking, and eating right.

And to you, Mr. "You must be a freak of nature not to have simple diet & exercise work for you", it must be nice to have it work FOR you. Had it worked for me, I could have saved $30,000 and lots ...


With P90X, many of the exercises can be substituted with simpler, less strenuous exercises (bands instead of pull-ups, for example, or only do as many reps as you can). I have a torn miniscus, so I can't do plyometrics without the danger of ripping my knee apart again, so I do regular squats instead of jump squats, things like that. The program is surprisingly flexible in that regard.
 
2012-07-27 10:09:58 AM  

tudorgurl: Toquinha: Snatch Bandergrip: MayoSlather: tudorgurl: Good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. Unfortunately, there are those who will do exactly what you did and do not get the same results you did. See, the human body differs from person to person. It happens sometimes, which is why these surgeries exist. They help those who have done everything they're supposed to and still need help.

You're basically saying your body chemistry is so unique that it can defy physics. I somehow doubt that.

I would challenge anyone to start doing P90X on the recommended schedule and diet and if there isn't significant weight loss in 6 weeks then I would concede you're a freak of nature. The overweight people I see at the gym that have been overweight for a long time...I don't see them working hard. I see them making a half ass effort. Maybe they don't feel uncomfortable, maybe they don't understand what it takes to lose the weight. Whatever the case if you use more energy than you take in it is impossible to not lose weight...that is after all the whole concept behind the lapband.

I do P90X. Indeed, there's been weight loss, but I don't know about substantial weight loss. 6 weeks is only halfway through the program; I'd argue that it would be easy not to see results after 6 weeks, and that if you don't see results after the full 90 days, THEN you're a freak of nature.

P90X is a great program, but halfway through it, you'll have to watch it on mute. The jokes get really old after a few weeks.

That's great, but what about those who are unable to do P90X? I mean, I'm a tubbo, even with the 65 lb weight loss. I've done aerobics classes, elliptical machines, hard core boot camps. My body can't handle those...yet. I'm doing Zumba, Your Shape on Xbox, walking, and eating right.

And to you, Mr. "You must be a freak of nature not to have simple diet & exercise work for you", it must be nice to have it work FOR you. Had it worked for me, I could have saved $30,000 and lots of bulimic moments and heartache and watching other people eat because a piece of food I chewed for farking HOURS STILL got stuck and I can't eat anymore. I could have saved the implantation of a device that squeezes off part of my stomach. Oh my goodness! If only I'd met you before!

/seriously
//do you REALLY think I would have had the surgery if simple diet & exercise had helped me drop 150 lbs?


The surgery didn't magically change your body chemistry it made you eat less. You could have chosen to eat less and had the same effect.
 
2012-07-27 10:10:13 AM  

Snatch Bandergrip: "Homer" type here. Fat Story, Bro follows:

Got to about 300 as a teenager, then had a bad mushroom trip that really slammed the message home: BE GOOD TO YOUR BODY. Since then I've been eating better and exercising more with each passing day, and I've made some substantial progress - the number hasn't gone down that much, but I'm much more muscular and shapelier than I was. Blood sugar, pressure, cholesterol all at healthy to near-healthy levels.

Thing is, I think I've hit a wall. There have been plateaus before, but no diet/exercise modulations have done anything to dislodge the stalling. So now I'm wondering if gastric bypass or bariatric or lap band will be necessary to get me the rest of the way to a healthy weight. I'd really like to avoid it, because as much as I want to be in shape, I want the accomplishment of having done so the natural way. And since I'm eating right and exercising everyday, these habits won't interfere with my body post-surgery (as opposed to the Tubbos who think slicing off the fat will fix the underlying issue). So I'm really unsure, and I'm open to advice from anyone who has undergone similar circumstances, as tudorgirl has.

/Yes, yes, I sound fat


The band, RNY, sleeve, Duodenal Switch...those are not for "I gotta lose 40 lbs". We're talking a good 100 lbs or more to lose. It is a difficult process to get approved, too. I had to go on a low cal/low glycemic/low sodium diet for a year, get signed off by my primary care physician (no mean feat there), then go through six months of classes at the surgeon's office to teach me how to eat and to deal with the changes coming, THEN see a psychiatrist for three sessions to make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons and know what I'm doing, THEN apply to the insurance for the surgery. It took two years to get approved. But we're not done yet!

After I got approved, I had to go on a three-month liquid diet to prep for the surgery. No solids at all. If I got caught cheating, I could be kicked off. Then the surgery was scheduled and I had to wait another month for that (doing it at the end of my spring break...going back to teach the following Monday was a blast...not). Then, it was liquids for another two months, then pureed foods (pureed chicken...you haven't lived until you've had that!), then slowly incorporating regular foods back in.

And I've lost 65 lbs but still haven't been able to crack 300...it's frustrating as hell. But, I'm going to make it work because it would be a waste of time, effort, money and life not to do so.

This is not an easy journey, honey. Make sure you do this for the RIGHT reasons and know what you're getting into.
 
2012-07-27 10:11:42 AM  

tudorgurl: CheetahOlivetti: RNY here. Best decision I ever made. 100 pounds permanently gone, back pain gone, and I run marathons. I ran before I had the surgery, including a half marathon, but I was never able to lose more than 30-40 pounds, even with diet changes.

I don't really care if people think it's the easy way out. It's the way that worked for me, so I'm happy I did it.



Good for you, dear. fark the haters.


I applaud the weight loss regardless...However surgery is a ridiculous solution to a problem that if you were being honest with yourself is you not taking personal responsibility and not working hard enough. There are many facets of life where being bootstrappy isn't necessarily a solution, but weight control most certainly is.
 
2012-07-27 10:12:35 AM  

liam76: So I should feel bad that you can't eat things because of surgery you elected to have instead of using self control?


Where in there did I ever ask someone to feel sorry for me?
 
2012-07-27 10:13:13 AM  
So now she'll be a thin hosebeast.
 
2012-07-27 10:13:57 AM  

Snatch Bandergrip: With P90X, many of the exercises can be substituted with simpler, less strenuous exercises (bands instead of pull-ups, for example, or only do as many reps as you can). I have a torn miniscus, so I can't do plyometrics without the danger of ripping my knee apart again, so I do regular squats instead of jump squats, things like that. The program is surprisingly flexible in that regard


Cool. I'll look into it. I love doing the Zumba, and I want to add belly dancing into the mix, too. I love working out where I get to dance and look silly. I hate getting yelled at.
 
2012-07-27 10:14:40 AM  

tudorgurl: liam76: So I should feel bad that you can't eat things because of surgery you elected to have instead of using self control?

Where in there did I ever ask someone to feel sorry for me you to feel bad?


FTFMS

/typing fail
 
2012-07-27 10:15:07 AM  
Just wait until she's about 5 years out on that surgery and the side effects start popping up.
Almost 100% chance of having a gall bladder removal
Possible increased chance of fibromyalgia
Possible dumping syndrome (well, he mouth takes care of that already, but...)
Possible recurring bouts of dehydration
Several vitamin and mineral deficiencies with their associated problems
Possible hyper-para-thyroidism (causes bone loss, muscle cramps and loss, and repeated kidney stones)

Those are just the ones off the top of my fuzzy morning head.

That line the doctors feed people about just needing to take two Flintstone vitamins a day to deal with the requirements is a crock.

A few years ago there was a big push around here for women (especially) to get a bypass. All the overweight nurses where my wife worked rushed to have the "miracle surgery" done. That was about 8 years ago;every last one now has serious lasting effects all but two of them have gained at least 75% of their weight back with some gaining more and exceeding their former weight.

Don't mind me, I'm just a bit bitter after seeing the resulting medical problems my wife and her former co-workers have had.

As to right now
:"You really have to be conscious about everything you put in your mouth. You have to eat tons of protein - so basically it changes everything."
That means she has to start swallowing instead of spitting?
 
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