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(Health on Today)   New study finds that your divorced friends give the best marriage advice. Well, that's about as logical as asking Kevin Costner how to make a hit movie   ( todayhealth.today.msnbc.msn.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Kevin Costner, relationship counseling, social scientists  
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999 clicks; posted to Geek » on 27 Jul 2012 at 11:53 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-27 09:15:27 AM  
Total Worldwide Grosses: $2,755,376,348

Say what you will, but the man has done a few things right.
 
2012-07-27 09:38:55 AM  
i169.photobucket.com

STOP! DON'T DO IT!

dnrtfa
 
2012-07-27 09:42:37 AM  
CSB:

I saw Kevin Costner last weekend. He actually has a band now and was playing at the Chocktaw Casino in Oklahoma. I didn't actually speak to him, but saw him coming out of the elevator in all white and headed to the spa.

/CSB
 
2012-07-27 11:57:05 AM  
We know what we did wrong.

And we can see what you're doing wrong.

We can only hope that the next time around, we can see a little of what we're doing wrong...

/happily remarried
 
2012-07-27 11:59:54 AM  
Makes sense in a way. What better person to warn you of mistakes than a person who's made those mistakes?

Of course, this only applies to people who aren't dense and actually learn the right lession from their failures.
 
2012-07-27 12:01:26 PM  
Learn from your mistakes. Even better, learn from other's mistakes.

Best marriage advice? Don't.
 
2012-07-27 12:07:06 PM  
I dont get the Costner hate.
 
2012-07-27 12:10:04 PM  
I don't need advice from my divorced friends.... Seeing the horrible things their atrociously selfish and vindictive wives said and did to them is enough to keep me unmarried and unwilling to go ommon-law.

Listened to one dumb coont tell the judge she only cared about the best interests of the children and then made false accusations of abuse to try and keep the kids away from him, the truth eventually prevailed and she got farked by one pissed off judge.
 
Bf+
2012-07-27 12:12:25 PM  

Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.


His finest role:
t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-07-27 12:14:53 PM  

Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.


Me either... Dances with Wolfs, Field of Dreams, Tin Cup, Robin Hood, The Untouchables... All great movies....
Show me one actor that hasn't made a few duds in their time.
 
2012-07-27 12:17:05 PM  
Dances With Wolves had a budget of $22 million, but earned $464 million at the box office.

That is all.
 
2012-07-27 12:20:30 PM  
..... also, Screw the haters, I loved Waterworld. Anyone got a pic of Marcia Gay Harden in that yummy post apoc. bikini?
 
2012-07-27 12:21:46 PM  
The subby has obviously never heard of learning from others mistakes... you should just run blindly into marriage and destroy your life like alot of people do...
 
2012-07-27 12:24:01 PM  
I learned so much from my marriage that ended in divorce.
Others can benefit from that knowledge and experience.

I remarried 10 years ago and could not be happier.
I have very little to share from the happy marriage, though, other than "meet someone who is really really good for you and then marry her and be good to her."
 
2012-07-27 12:27:48 PM  
Say what you will, but he was awesome in the Hatfields & McCoys.

i.i.com.com
 
2012-07-27 12:28:12 PM  

Ohlookabutterfly: I don't need advice from my divorced friends.... Seeing the horrible things their atrociously selfish and vindictive wives said and did to them is enough to keep me unmarried and unwilling to go ommon-law.



Not to worry, "ommon-law" as well as common law marriage is pretty much not recognized anywhere in the US.

Ambivalence is the opposite of love. When you've hit that point as an ex, you know you've boarded the train to happier days.
 
2012-07-27 12:35:03 PM  

Dreyelle: Ohlookabutterfly: I don't need advice from my divorced friends.... Seeing the horrible things their atrociously selfish and vindictive wives said and did to them is enough to keep me unmarried and unwilling to go ommon-law.

Not to worry, "ommon-law" as well as common law marriage is pretty much not recognized anywhere in the US.

Ambivalence is the opposite of love. When you've hit that point as an ex, you know you've boarded the train to happier days.


From Alternatives to Marriage project:

STATES THAT RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE:
Only a few states recognize common law marriages:

Alabama
Colorado
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98. Oklahoma's laws and court decisions may be in conflict about whether common law marriages formed in that state after 11/1/98 will be recognized.)
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
Utah
Washington, D.C.
 
2012-07-27 12:45:20 PM  
Oh cool, Jay Leno has a day job now.

/lame headline is lame.
 
2012-07-27 01:10:16 PM  

TaVaMaN: Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.

Me either... Dances with Wolfs, Field of Dreams, Tin Cup, Robin Hood, The Untouchables... All great movies....
Show me one actor that hasn't made a few duds in their time.


images.eonline.com
 
2012-07-27 01:11:55 PM  
I kinda have to agree...

I learned more about relationships and myself after I left my ex (many years with her but never married her). I can easily state the mistakes done, and why I should have never been with her.

Overall, it helped me figure things out a lot, and I feel that it prepared me for when I did meet other women, eventually finding one that was worth taking the chance with (and married her), and that was over 12 years ago.
 
2012-07-27 01:15:06 PM  
Mr brooks. that is all.
 
2012-07-27 01:15:24 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: TaVaMaN: Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.

Me either... Dances with Wolfs, Field of Dreams, Tin Cup, Robin Hood, The Untouchables... All great movies....
Show me one actor that hasn't made a few duds in their time.

[images.eonline.com image 425x315]


Point taken. Obviously an exception though, hardly the rule.
 
2012-07-27 01:18:01 PM  
img1.bdbphotos.com

Well, SOMEONE must have gone to the cinema to see it.
 
2012-07-27 01:19:24 PM  
Other peoples' mistakes, etc.

/never marrying again
 
2012-07-27 01:20:02 PM  

TaVaMaN: StoPPeRmobile: TaVaMaN: Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.

Me either... Dances with Wolfs, Field of Dreams, Tin Cup, Robin Hood, The Untouchables... All great movies....
Show me one actor that hasn't made a few duds in their time.

[images.eonline.com image 425x315]

Point taken. Obviously an exception though, hardly the rule.


I believe you were looking for one actor, irrespective of rules or exceptions. In fact: what you asked for WAS an exception to the rule, no?
 
2012-07-27 01:30:11 PM  
Open Range is a terrific movie. And so is Waterworld. Yeah, WATERWORLD IS GOOD
 
2012-07-27 01:39:01 PM  
Implying that Kevin Costner doesn't have any good movies tell me one of two things. You're either incredibly ignorant or you have shiatty taste in movies. Maybe even both.
 
2012-07-27 01:44:10 PM  
So the advice is to basically do the opposite of what the divorcee did?
 
2012-07-27 01:45:07 PM  
Costner has been in, produced, and directed a bunch of great stuff. I think the only negative thing you can really say is that after Dances with Wolves he wanted to make big epics and made Waterworld and The Postman which both bombed at the box office. So, he didn't quite have the ability to deliver a big budget financial blockbuster, that's not such a great crime, as long as you weren't the studio that lost your shirt I guess.

Looking at his filmography on IMDB I'm seeing a ton of stuff I really liked, I had forgotten about No Way Out, good movie.
 
2012-07-27 01:47:09 PM  
To echo some other sentiments in here, I learned a LOT from two failed "live together" relationships (not marriage thankfully, but a long engagement to one of them) and what I learned helped me recognize when I found "the one" and has certainly benefited me in my now 18 years of marriage and going strong.
 
2012-07-27 01:47:12 PM  
Good points in the article. When you are with someone, you can get overwhelmed with the issues. Divorced people have enough downtime to think about what happened, what to avoid and how to solve some problems.

My advice would be that if you can afford housecleaners, hire them. Division of labor is a huge PITA and outsourcing some of it takes a lot of time pressure off.

However, if one person's a hoarder, run like the wind.
 
2012-07-27 01:48:27 PM  
I'm divorced now, I gotta couple:

1. Don't get pregnant three weeks after saying "I do" -- Do absolutely everything in your power to ensure you have a couple years all to yourselves. If things go well, you'll enjoy that time together. If things don't, it's easier to leave the relationship and move on to something better for you both.

2. If you've found a partner with no significant income potential, make God-damned certain she's capable of making sane, reasonable spending decisions. If they're incapable of understanding cash flow ("Budgets never work, I never know what health expenses I'm going to have"), or habitually makes horrible spending decisions ("I got us a couple magazine subscriptions! They were 50% off! I saved us $600.00!", "Yes of course we can afford that Bose radio from QVC, I put it on e-z-pay"), or has problems with basic arithmetic or basic record-keeping ("Math is stupid", "No, I didn't record those paper checks I wrote. Now LEAVE ME ALONE"), it's best you find all that out before you've made a commitment.

3. If you're a kind soul whose willing to & capable of overlooking superficial, relatively unimportant flaws that would be deal breakers for shallower people, good for you. You're a wonderful human. Here's a cookie. Just pray the relationship doesn't develop any fundamental problems, because then you'll resent every. single. last. one. of those shortcomings.

4. Your partner's mood disorders, if not properly and successfully managed, WILL make your life a living hell. Especially when they're undiagnosed.


/Yeah, I know. All that's just a long-winded way of saying "Don't stick your dick in crazy".
//...and I can only imagine how y'all have farkied me after 6-1/2 years of continuously biatching along these lines
 
2012-07-27 01:50:10 PM  

scottydoesntknow: CSB:

I saw Kevin Costner last weekend. He actually has a band now and was playing at the Chocktaw Casino in Oklahoma. I didn't actually speak to him, but saw him coming out of the elevator in all white and headed to the spa.

/CSB


You're mistaken-- Kurt Russell was the one in all white:

i1.fc-img.com
 
2012-07-27 01:53:57 PM  

Ohlookabutterfly: ..... also, Screw the haters, I loved Waterworld. Anyone got a pic of Marcia Gay Harden in that yummy post apoc. bikini?


Jeanne Tripplehorn?

img.poptower.com
 
2012-07-27 02:09:40 PM  

phaseolus: I'm divorced now, I gotta couple:

1. Don't get pregnant three weeks after saying "I do" -- Do absolutely everything in your power to ensure you have a couple years all to yourselves. If things go well, you'll enjoy that time together. If things don't, it's easier to leave the relationship and move on to something better for you both.

2. If you've found a partner with no significant income potential, make God-damned certain she's capable of making sane, reasonable spending decisions. If they're incapable of understanding cash flow ("Budgets never work, I never know what health expenses I'm going to have"), or habitually makes horrible spending decisions ("I got us a couple magazine subscriptions! They were 50% off! I saved us $600.00!", "Yes of course we can afford that Bose radio from QVC, I put it on e-z-pay"), or has problems with basic arithmetic or basic record-keeping ("Math is stupid", "No, I didn't record those paper checks I wrote. Now LEAVE ME ALONE"), it's best you find all that out before you've made a commitment.

3. If you're a kind soul whose willing to & capable of overlooking superficial, relatively unimportant flaws that would be deal breakers for shallower people, good for you. You're a wonderful human. Here's a cookie. Just pray the relationship doesn't develop any fundamental problems, because then you'll resent every. single. last. one. of those shortcomings.

4. Your partner's mood disorders, if not properly and successfully managed, WILL make your life a living hell. Especially when they're undiagnosed.


/Yeah, I know. All that's just a long-winded way of saying "Don't stick your dick in crazy".
//...and I can only imagine how y'all have farkied me after 6-1/2 years of continuously biatching along these lines


Beats a clock-watching therapist.
 
2012-07-27 02:09:53 PM  

phaseolus: I'm divorced now, I gotta couple:

1. Don't get pregnant three weeks after saying "I do" -- Do absolutely everything in your power to ensure you have a couple years all to yourselves. If things go well, you'll enjoy that time together. If things don't, it's easier to leave the relationship and move on to something better for you both.

2. If you've found a partner with no significant income potential, make God-damned certain she's capable of making sane, reasonable spending decisions. If they're incapable of understanding cash flow ("Budgets never work, I never know what health expenses I'm going to have"), or habitually makes horrible spending decisions ("I got us a couple magazine subscriptions! They were 50% off! I saved us $600.00!", "Yes of course we can afford that Bose radio from QVC, I put it on e-z-pay"), or has problems with basic arithmetic or basic record-keeping ("Math is stupid", "No, I didn't record those paper checks I wrote. Now LEAVE ME ALONE"), it's best you find all that out before you've made a commitment.

3. If you're a kind soul whose willing to & capable of overlooking superficial, relatively unimportant flaws that would be deal breakers for shallower people, good for you. You're a wonderful human. Here's a cookie. Just pray the relationship doesn't develop any fundamental problems, because then you'll resent every. single. last. one. of those shortcomings.

4. Your partner's mood disorders, if not properly and successfully managed, WILL make your life a living hell. Especially when they're undiagnosed.


/Yeah, I know. All that's just a long-winded way of saying "Don't stick your dick in crazy".
//...and I can only imagine how y'all have farkied me after 6-1/2 years of continuously biatching along these lines


At risk of sounding cruel, did you really need to get divorced before you learned "Don't have kids too early, Make sound financial decisions, Resentment can damage your relationship, and psychological issues are bad?"

Because I'm married right now, and I could tell you all of that stuff, could have told it to you beforehand, too.

The "secrets" to successful relationships aren't secret at all, most of them are common sense.
 
2012-07-27 02:26:32 PM  
Chris Hardwick told a story about asking his grandpa about how he and wife were able to stay married for so long and he gave a really great answer. "We never fell out of love at the same time."
 
2012-07-27 02:39:51 PM  

Bf+: Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.

His finest role:
[t0.gstatic.com image 176x276]


What you did there, I see it.
 
2012-07-27 02:41:40 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: TaVaMaN: Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.

Me either... Dances with Wolfs, Field of Dreams, Tin Cup, Robin Hood, The Untouchables... All great movies....
Show me one actor that hasn't made a few duds in their time.

[images.eonline.com image 425x315]


But you repeat yourself.

Gangs of New York was boring and trite. All sorts of big names, I figured I'd love it. barely finished it.

And seriously, look at that picture again. That is a DUMB looking mother farker.
 
2012-07-27 02:46:11 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: StoPPeRmobile: TaVaMaN: Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.

Me either... Dances with Wolfs, Field of Dreams, Tin Cup, Robin Hood, The Untouchables... All great movies....
Show me one actor that hasn't made a few duds in their time.

[images.eonline.com image 425x315]

But you repeat yourself.

Gangs of New York was boring and trite. All sorts of big names, I figured I'd love it. barely finished it.

And seriously, look at that picture again. That is a DUMB looking mother farker.


For me it was the bad, Irish brogue from Leo and Cameron. Daniel Day Lewis was f*cking awesome as Bill the Butcher. It's also one of the few Civil War era movies that's not set on the front lines of the war. I wish there was one, good movie about Boss Tweed and Tammany Hall.
 
2012-07-27 02:49:35 PM  
We always ask the advice of a failure.
 
2012-07-27 02:52:17 PM  
So what we're saying here is that those who can't do.......teach?
 
2012-07-27 02:54:54 PM  

phaseolus: 4. Your partner's mood disorders, if not properly and successfully managed, WILL make your life a living hell.


I thought that was just part of being female.
 
2012-07-27 02:57:47 PM  

Wise_Guy: Ohlookabutterfly: ..... also, Screw the haters, I loved Waterworld. Anyone got a pic of Marcia Gay Harden in that yummy post apoc. bikini?

Jeanne Tripplehorn?

[img.poptower.com image 394x600]


I was going to make the same correction, but the image link would go toward a NSFW scene in Basic Instinct.
 
2012-07-27 03:00:57 PM  

verbaltoxin: So what we're saying here is that those who can't do.......teach?


Nice.
 
2012-07-27 03:05:57 PM  

verbaltoxin: Jim from Saint Paul: StoPPeRmobile: TaVaMaN: Gunny Highway: I dont get the Costner hate.

Me either... Dances with Wolfs, Field of Dreams, Tin Cup, Robin Hood, The Untouchables... All great movies....
Show me one actor that hasn't made a few duds in their time.

[images.eonline.com image 425x315]

But you repeat yourself.

Gangs of New York was boring and trite. All sorts of big names, I figured I'd love it. barely finished it.

And seriously, look at that picture again. That is a DUMB looking mother farker.

For me it was the bad, Irish brogue from Leo and Cameron. Daniel Day Lewis was f*cking awesome as Bill the Butcher. It's also one of the few Civil War era movies that's not set on the front lines of the war. I wish there was one, good movie about Boss Tweed and Tammany Hall.


Maybe they, could make one about unnecessary, commas.

/my, apologies
 
2012-07-27 03:11:13 PM  

Dreyelle: Ohlookabutterfly: I don't need advice from my divorced friends.... Seeing the horrible things their atrociously selfish and vindictive wives said and did to them is enough to keep me unmarried and unwilling to go ommon-law.

Not to worry, "ommon-law" as well as common law marriage is pretty much not recognized anywhere in the US.

Ambivalence is the opposite of love. When you've hit that point as an ex, you know you've boarded the train to happier days.


First, I'm Canadian. This means as a male, in the eyes of the law I am at fault automatically for everything thanks to our anti-hetero male PC society, and also after six months c-c-c-common law is the same as marriage. There is some sort of civil partnership agreement a couple may enter into but what woman in her right mind is give up the rights to her AND your shiat when you separate?

Second, thanks for pointing out the fact that I miss keys on my tiny iphone KB on occasion. Sorry to offend your grammar nazi tendencies. :P
 
2012-07-27 03:23:41 PM  

Ohlookabutterfly: Dreyelle: Ohlookabutterfly: I don't need advice from my divorced friends.... Seeing the horrible things their atrociously selfish and vindictive wives said and did to them is enough to keep me unmarried and unwilling to go ommon-law.

Not to worry, "ommon-law" as well as common law marriage is pretty much not recognized anywhere in the US.

Ambivalence is the opposite of love. When you've hit that point as an ex, you know you've boarded the train to happier days.

First, I'm Canadian. This means as a male, in the eyes of the law I am at fault automatically for everything thanks to our anti-hetero male PC society, and also after six months c-c-c-common law is the same as marriage. There is some sort of civil partnership agreement a couple may enter into but what woman in her right mind is give up the rights to her AND your shiat when you separate?

Second, thanks for pointing out the fact that I miss keys on my tiny iphone KB on occasion. Sorry to offend your grammar nazi tendencies. :P


I thought it was illegal for Canadians to complain about Canada?

I think you need a stern talking too, eh.
 
2012-07-27 03:29:47 PM  

Wise_Guy: Ohlookabutterfly: ..... also, Screw the haters, I loved Waterworld. Anyone got a pic of Marcia Gay Harden in that yummy post apoc. bikini?

Jeanne Tripplehorn?


D'oh, my bad, thanks!
 
2012-07-27 03:49:04 PM  

PsyLord: So the advice is to basically do the opposite of what the divorcee did?


Yes. And that action you should do the opposite of is "get married"

/happily divorced.
//even more happily in a long term, non-married relationship.
///that with any luck will last until I die.
 
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