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(Onion AV Club)   Ridley Scott's next film will be a disaster movie about a giant traffic jam. No, seriously   (avclub.com) divider line 74
    More: Stupid, Ridley Scott  
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5007 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Jul 2012 at 11:17 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-26 10:24:44 PM
Carmageddon:The Movie?
 
2012-07-26 10:57:00 PM
If it's something like Falling Down scaled way up ... I can see it.
 
2012-07-26 11:10:59 PM
you forgot the semicolon.

Ridley Scott's next film will be a disaster; movie about a giant traffic jam. No, seriously
 
2012-07-26 11:12:13 PM
But seriously, not sure why we expect greatness - when was the last time Ridley Scott did a good movie? Watch Scott's last three and Roger Corman's last three back to back and see who makes better films.
 
2012-07-26 11:18:43 PM
In space?
 
2012-07-26 11:21:44 PM
Isn't that just a documentary about the 101 at 7:30 am on a Monday?
 
2012-07-26 11:21:57 PM
He's going to take shots from the 405 and 5 North cams and splice them together and add a soundtrack?

I guess it beats watching "DRYING PAINT...THE MOVIE"
 
2012-07-26 11:25:31 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-26 11:28:01 PM
Dr. Who already did it.
 
2012-07-26 11:34:24 PM
Kingdom Of Gridlock?
 
2012-07-26 11:34:54 PM
 
2012-07-26 11:37:39 PM
So it's a reboot of this?

s1.hubimg.com
 
2012-07-26 11:40:17 PM
What's a pudding truck?
 
2012-07-26 11:49:07 PM
 
2012-07-26 11:52:13 PM
And it will be all subtitles of what people stuck in traffic are thinking, Everbody Hurts: The Movie
 
2012-07-26 11:54:32 PM
Is it going to take place on the M25? Because everyone knows that the M25 is evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man.
 
2012-07-26 11:57:25 PM
You know what would be a cool movie? A giant traffic jam/wreck in a giant sandstorm in southern Arizona, triggered by global warming (of course.) So sandstorms now last for days. The Mexicans are trying to cross the border and take over our country, since their country is even more of a shiathole than the U.S, even with global warming. So the entire Mexican army is massed at the border. People are running around in what looks like spacesuits, developed the handle the enormous, global-warming sandstorms. Other people are fighting and dying in the traffic pile-up, and some are falling in love. There's a dramatic build-up and finally the two groups meet.

And then there's a big fight or something. I can't think of everything.
 
2012-07-26 11:58:17 PM
As underclassmen like Edgar Wright rush his fraternity of hoarding filmmakers

I recognize all those words, but that statment still doesn't make a farking bit of sense.

Anyone care to parse this into English for me?
 
2012-07-27 12:01:01 AM
I read a story years ago, by a Mexican or South American, I think, one of those cultures that has a mystical base to their writing. It was about a traffic jam that went on for weeks and neighborhoods and cultures sprang up among the stranded people. Anybody know what I'm on about? Anybody?
 
2012-07-27 12:02:33 AM
This Woodstock nostalgia is becoming a bigger OD than Joplin that Saturday night.
 
2012-07-27 12:23:20 AM
Ape Shiat Nuts: Here's the first song for the soundtrack.

and here's the second.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ghV9iJbI6U
.
 
2012-07-27 12:24:39 AM

paulleah: Dr. Who already did it.


Came here to say this.
 
2012-07-27 12:29:59 AM

fusillade762: As underclassmen like Edgar Wright rush his fraternity of hoarding filmmakers

I recognize all those words, but that statment still doesn't make a farking bit of sense.

Anyone care to parse this into English for me?


As underclassmen, like Edgar Wright, rush his fraternity of hoarding filmmakers...

As underclassmen like Edgar Wright rush, his fraternity of hoarding filmmakers...

As underclassmen, like Edgar Wright Rush, his fraternity of hoarding filmmakers...

As underclassmen, like, Edgar Wright, rush his fraternity...

I'm not sure. What the hell is a Hoarding Filmmaker?
 
2012-07-27 12:32:52 AM
I remember reading a sci-fi story about a traffic jam in Omni magazine - in the end, the government filled in the highway with cement, building a new freeway over the old one.
 
2012-07-27 12:37:34 AM

unlikely: But seriously, not sure why we expect greatness - when was the last time Ridley Scott did a good movie? Watch Scott's last three and Roger Corman's last three back to back and see who makes better films.


Prometheus
American Gangster
Kingdom of Heaven directors cut
 
2012-07-27 01:37:54 AM

sneathbean: I remember reading a sci-fi story about a traffic jam in Omni magazine - in the end, the government filled in the highway with cement, building a new freeway over the old one.


With the hero's hand sticking out of the concrete, holding his journal of his last days.
 
2012-07-27 02:32:40 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Carmageddon:The Movie?


Hey, it could happen!

Carmageddon: Reincarnation Kickstarter
 
2012-07-27 02:37:20 AM

Dear Jerk: I read a story years ago, by a Mexican or South American, I think, one of those cultures that has a mystical base to their writing. It was about a traffic jam that went on for weeks and neighborhoods and cultures sprang up among the stranded people. Anybody know what I'm on about? Anybody?


I do. I remember reading that as well but do not remember the name or the author.
 
2012-07-27 02:41:06 AM
 
2012-07-27 03:15:04 AM

Dear Jerk: I read a story years ago, by a Mexican or South American, I think, one of those cultures that has a mystical base to their writing. It was about a traffic jam that went on for weeks and neighborhoods and cultures sprang up among the stranded people. Anybody know what I'm on about? Anybody?


If anyone ever finds out that one, let me know, sounds like a good story. Reminds me of Ghost Rider 2099's locale of Transverse City, a section of a proposed ultramegahyper-multilevel-multilane super highway that, due to corruption, was only started so far before being given up on. What was built was pressed into service, and turned into an instant strip of inhabited chaos between Chicago and Detroit.
 
2012-07-27 03:44:24 AM

AeAe: unlikely: But seriously, not sure why we expect greatness - when was the last time Ridley Scott did a good movie? Watch Scott's last three and Roger Corman's last three back to back and see who makes better films.

Prometheus
American Gangster
Kingdom of Heaven directors cut


Prometheus sucked (I'm waiting for the director's cut to see if it can streamline the stupid), I didn't see American Gangster, and yeah, Kingdom of Heaven director's cut was amazing.
 
2012-07-27 05:39:52 AM

Dear Jerk: I read a story years ago, by a Mexican or South American, I think, one of those cultures that has a mystical base to their writing. It was about a traffic jam that went on for weeks and neighborhoods and cultures sprang up among the stranded people. Anybody know what I'm on about? Anybody?


Huh. Sounds a lot like something J.G. Ballard would write, but he's a Limey.
 
2012-07-27 05:45:43 AM
He wanted to call it "Rush Hour", but we already have a movie disaster by that name
 
2012-07-27 06:04:46 AM

the lord god: Dear Jerk: I read a story years ago, by a Mexican or South American, I think, one of those cultures that has a mystical base to their writing. It was about a traffic jam that went on for weeks and neighborhoods and cultures sprang up among the stranded people. Anybody know what I'm on about? Anybody?

I do. I remember reading that as well but do not remember the name or the author.


Sounds like Julio Cortázar's "The Southern Throughway", but not really.

Possibly something by Jorge Luis Borges?
 
2012-07-27 06:10:32 AM
Ok, that article linked me to "The Day Britain Stopped"... just watched the whole thing on Youtube... that's a DAMN good mockumentary... very realistic... and chilling.
 
2012-07-27 06:16:45 AM
Implying "Prometheus" wasn't already a disaster.
 
2012-07-27 07:28:50 AM
Sounds like that episode of Married... With Children
 
2012-07-27 07:46:36 AM
Haven't we had enough remakes of The Italian Job already?
 
2012-07-27 08:11:20 AM
DjangoStonereaver
Sounds like Julio Cortázar's "The Southern Throughway", but not really.

Yes! Despite my description, that's it. Thanks.
 
2012-07-27 08:34:16 AM

flaminio: So it's a reboot of this?

[s1.hubimg.com image 260x384]


Thank you! I've had memories of that movie since I saw it as a kid in the 1970s, and could not remember the title. At least, I thought I couldn't remember it, but recall asking my parents when 'smash-up derby' would show again, so I actually had it partly right.

Damn. That solves a 34-year old mystery.
 
2012-07-27 08:45:21 AM

T-Servo: Damn. That solves a 34-year old mystery.


Wow. I've always remembered it. Remember Two Minute Warning?
 
2012-07-27 08:56:35 AM
Have you ever watched a remake of a remade, made-for-TV after school special and wondered if Hollywood has run out of ideas? Yeah...
 
2012-07-27 09:00:12 AM

fusillade762: As underclassmen like Edgar Wright rush his fraternity of hoarding filmmakers

I recognize all those words, but that statment still doesn't make a farking bit of sense.

Anyone care to parse this into English for me?


Possible translation: Acclaimed director Edgar Wright and his "geek cinema" peers are avid fans-and adherents-of Ridley Scott's ultra-perfectionist style of filmmaking. I think.


*shrugs*
 
2012-07-27 09:07:11 AM

HAMMERTOE: T-Servo: Damn. That solves a 34-year old mystery.

Wow. I've always remembered it. Remember Two Minute Warning?


I think that was too Black Sunday for me, meaning intentional violence freaked me out as a kid (unless it was Coyote and Roadrunner related), but I was entranced by disasters (and from my current job, still am). So I was into Killer Bees (rebroadcast in the UK last year!), Towering Inferno, all the Airport movies, the 1974 version of Earthquake, and sci-fi dystopias like Soylent Green. The cornier the better for the 70s.

The disaster movie genre has flagged quite a bit. Day After Tomorrow was great just for the scene of Americans running across the Rio Grande into Mexico (saw the movie in Budapest, and the Hungarians didn't know why I was laughing), Dante's Peak was pretty good (the technical screenwriter is a friend of mine), but... I have my doubts if Scott can do this.
 
2012-07-27 10:08:01 AM
Am I the only on who remembers a 1970's era Made for TV movie about a disastrous traffic jam in California?
 
2012-07-27 10:12:56 AM

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Am I the only on who remembers a 1970's era Made for TV movie about a disastrous traffic jam in California?


Riding With Death?
 
2012-07-27 10:20:37 AM

Coelacanth: sneathbean: I remember reading a sci-fi story about a traffic jam in Omni magazine - in the end, the government filled in the highway with cement, building a new freeway over the old one.

With the hero's hand sticking out of the concrete, holding his journal of his last days.


Yes! That's the one!
 
2012-07-27 10:20:39 AM

DjangoStonereaver: the lord god: Dear Jerk: I read a story years ago, by a Mexican or South American, I think, one of those cultures that has a mystical base to their writing. It was about a traffic jam that went on for weeks and neighborhoods and cultures sprang up among the stranded people. Anybody know what I'm on about? Anybody?

I do. I remember reading that as well but do not remember the name or the author.

Sounds like Julio Cortázar's "The Southern Throughway", but not really.

Possibly something by Jorge Luis Borges?


No idea. I just remember it was a short story and kinda a sci-fi one. But I do remember it being written by,and taking place in,someone and somewhere in South America. I think I read it in a collection of stories. Bah first my body starts to fall apart and now my memory is going. Getting old sucks.
 
2012-07-27 10:21:12 AM

T-Servo: I think that was too Black Sunday for me, meaning intentional violence freaked me out as a kid ... but I was entranced by disasters...


So, no Killdozer? No The Car?
 
2012-07-27 10:23:29 AM
I'm at work, so I can't look up the title, but Philip K. Dick wrote a short story about a traffic jam that lasted for days. I wonder if Scott might be taking a bit from that story.

/It was an okay story
 
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