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(The Gazette)   So, 40 pounds of liquid mercury walk into a bar   (thegazette.com) divider line 144
    More: Dumbass, Iowa, emergency managers, CRP, respiratory failure, construction workers, kidney diseases, liquid mercury  
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16456 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2012 at 1:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-25 09:48:44 AM
Emmet County emergency manager Terry Reekers says a construction worker remodeling a house found a plastic bottle with about 40 pounds of liquid mercury on Friday.

Reekers says the worker took the mercury to a bar to show friends.


i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-07-25 09:57:07 AM
Wait I think I've heard this one... So, 40 pounds of liquid mercury walk into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says "Are you the legal guardian of John Connor?" then proceeds to form into a policeman and blow everybody's heads off.

There may have been some priests and a rabbi in there somewhere the details are a little blurry.
 
2012-07-25 10:32:57 AM
Freddy, circa late 1993?
 
2012-07-25 10:38:11 AM
img7.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-25 10:58:53 AM
And so the bartender says, "Why the Hg dog expression?"

/got nuthin'
 
2012-07-25 11:01:59 AM
Hey, hold my beer and check this out..........
 
2012-07-25 11:02:44 AM
And now all those people are doomed to a slow, excruciating death because some simpleton thought it would be fun to play show and tell at Clancey's

/oh, the Hgmanity
 
2012-07-25 11:13:35 AM
So, 40 pounds of liquid mercury walk into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other...
 
2012-07-25 11:15:06 AM
...and say "Sorry, I gotta run."
 
2012-07-25 11:45:16 AM
Liquid mercury is not very toxic, mostly because it's very hard to get your body to absorb it. Mercury vapors are quite toxic, but liquid elemental mercury is not very volatile. So, unless the guy dropped it into a hot frying pan, there is very little danger of these folks developing hydrargyria.
 
2012-07-25 11:46:03 AM
....and the Mercury accidentally brushes up against an attractive woman at the bar, and she exclaims, "You have some nerve deadening properties!"
 
2012-07-25 12:15:48 PM
Reekers says the worker took the mercury to a bar to show friends. Someone dropped the bottle and exposed 10-12 people at the bar.

Reekers says the worker took the remaining mercury to the house and hid the bottle in a sandbox where four children later found it.



Guy just doesn't know when to stop the asshattery. I'm surprised he didn't take the bottle of mercury out dancing later and mixed a few cocktails with it.
 
2012-07-25 01:22:32 PM
What sort of moron hides anything in a sandbox?
 
2012-07-25 01:22:58 PM
onlookers described the scene as "Oooh shiney"
 
2012-07-25 01:23:27 PM
How big would the bottle have to be to hold 40 pounds of liquid mercury?
 
2012-07-25 01:23:29 PM
If I were that stupid, I'd want to be referred to as "the worker" too.
 
2012-07-25 01:23:48 PM
Walks into a millibar, surely.

/write your own Mad Hatter joke here.
 
2012-07-25 01:24:14 PM
Well it is fairly unlikely he would have solid Hg.
 
2012-07-25 01:24:48 PM
Liquid mercury is a bit redundant, unless of course it's either 40 below zero or above 675 degrees.
 
2012-07-25 01:24:48 PM

HailRobonia: What sort of moron hides anything in a sandbox?


are you calling cats morans?
 
2012-07-25 01:25:35 PM

brap: Wait I think I've heard this one... So, 40 pounds of liquid mercury walk into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says "Are you the legal guardian of John Connor?" then proceeds to form into a policeman and blow everybody's heads off.

There may have been some priests and a rabbi in there somewhere the details are a little blurry.


Maybe it's respiratory failure?
 
2012-07-25 01:25:52 PM
This is a quality employee. He should get a raise or something.

(Who let the idiot leave the job site with it? Wouldn't 40 lbs of mercury require a gov't response to the worksite?)
 
2012-07-25 01:26:25 PM
images.askmen.com
 
2012-07-25 01:26:37 PM
Even as a liquid, mercury denser than lead: 40.0 pounds of mercury = 1.34 L. He probably had it in a 2-liter bottle. Probably handed it to somebody who had no idea how heavy it really was and dropped it.
 
2012-07-25 01:26:45 PM
Worst
Construction worker
EVAR!!!
 
2012-07-25 01:27:03 PM

Dreyelle: How big would the bottle have to be to hold 40 pounds of liquid mercury?


about 1.34 liters. Less than 3/4 of a 2 L pop bottle
 
2012-07-25 01:27:14 PM
A month or so ago it was Minnesota, Now Iowa...what is wrong with my peeps???

/fire at will
 
2012-07-25 01:27:34 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Freddy, circa late 1993?


Quit readin' my mind!!!!
 
2012-07-25 01:28:46 PM
j.wigflip.com
 
2012-07-25 01:29:32 PM
"40 pounds of liquid mercury walk into a bar"
3.bp.blogspot.com
I'm 9 stone, actually!
 
2012-07-25 01:31:26 PM
I'm actually curious about the bioavailablity of liquid mercury. I know it's a biatch in the food chain as methylmercury, but that requires a bit of biochemistry from bacteria or algae to make.
 
2012-07-25 01:31:37 PM

HailRobonia: What sort of moron hides anything in a sandbox?


People aren't workmen because they're exceptionally smart. That's the type of job you have when you didn't do well enough in school to be successful in life.
 
2012-07-25 01:31:45 PM

Valiente: Walks into a millibar, surely.

/write your own Mad Hatter joke here.


/slaps you on the back of the head.


//I hate when the folks here make me laugh/groan
 
2012-07-25 01:31:50 PM

Dreyelle: How big would the bottle have to be to hold 40 pounds of liquid mercury?


[40 lb box.jpg]
 
2012-07-25 01:32:59 PM
prospect.rsc.org

Have you seen this boy?
 
2012-07-25 01:33:56 PM
FTA An EPA team will clean up the mercury in the sandbox and at the bar.

farking evil socialists
 
2012-07-25 01:34:37 PM
The T-1000 on Slim Fast?
 
2012-07-25 01:34:45 PM

Diogenes: And so the bartender says, "Why the Hg dog expression?"

/got nuthin'


Brilliant.
 
2012-07-25 01:35:27 PM
Okay, I can understand why Cletus took the bottle of mercury with him to the bar. Big bottle of shiny thing is sure to impress the boozers.

But, wtf was this Inbred Jed thinking when he decided to stash the stuff in a CHILDREN'S SANDBOX????

That is some felony child endangerment right there.

PS: If you have stuff in your basement that even several previous owners say "It must have been the guy before me that put it there", you need to CLEAN YOUR FUGGING BASEMENT OUT!
 
2012-07-25 01:35:38 PM

Dreyelle: How big would the bottle have to be to hold 40 pounds of liquid mercury?


Probably not that big. 40 pounds of mercury is a lot heavier than 40 pounds of feathers.
 
2012-07-25 01:36:43 PM

gopher321: Guy just doesn't know when to stop the asshattery. I'm surprised he didn't take the bottle of mercury out dancing later and mixed a few cocktails with it.


Actually, if you assume he found 50 pounds of it, and drank a fifth of the bottle thinking it was moonshine, then the rest of his actions make a lot more sense.
 
2012-07-25 01:37:21 PM
As opposed to what? Solid mercury?
 
2012-07-25 01:39:48 PM
Still not as bad as dropping a CFL bulb in the house, right?
 
2012-07-25 01:41:05 PM
Although it's dumb to play with it, mercury in that quantity has some tantalizing properties that are hard to resist. It's silver, shiny, liquid, really, really heavy and it doesn't act like anything else you've ever seen before. The inner monkey instinct kicks in hard, makes you want to poke it with sticks to see what it does.

My sixth grade science teacher brought in a small flask of mercury, probably 5 lbs worth. It was a sealed glass ampule, you couldn't do much but jiggle it, but the entire class was freaking mesmerized.
 
2012-07-25 01:41:45 PM

TV's Vinnie: Okay, I can understand why Cletus took the bottle of mercury with him to the bar. Big bottle of shiny thing is sure to impress the boozers.

But, wtf was this Inbred Jed thinking when he decided to stash the stuff in a CHILDREN'S SANDBOX????

That is some felony child endangerment right there.

PS: If you have stuff in your basement that even several previous owners say "It must have been the guy before me that put it there", you need to CLEAN YOUR FUGGING BASEMENT OUT!


The jackass was 100% weapons grade stupid no matter what way you look at it.

And most likely, he breeds...

Let that thought brighten up your day.
 
2012-07-25 01:41:58 PM

Dreyelle: How big would the bottle have to be to hold 40 pounds of liquid mercury?


Not sure, but this is the box it comes in
media1.break.com
 
2012-07-25 01:42:31 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: As opposed to what? Solid mercury?


Mercury does indeed have a solid state, at around -38 degrees F. So if the bar is in Siberia in the winter, maybe.
 
2012-07-25 01:42:41 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

I bet the Indian never would have taken it to the bar.
 
2012-07-25 01:43:12 PM
Dad would bring some home from work, and we would spend an afternoon coating all our funky dull nickels and dimes, and making them bright and shiny! Fun!
 
2012-07-25 01:43:24 PM

YixilTesiphon: Dreyelle: How big would the bottle have to be to hold 40 pounds of liquid mercury?

[40 lb box.jpg]


dammit
 
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