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(Topless Robot)   Seven ways the internet sucked in the 19--waiting for modem to respond--in the 1990s   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 85
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5752 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Jul 2012 at 10:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-25 10:35:25 AM
Yay! I can comment about the comments on the comment thread there where I've already posted!
 
2012-07-25 10:35:53 AM
What about no free porn?
 
2012-07-25 10:36:19 AM
2 ways it was better.... NO farkING VIDEO ADS.... everywhere...
and more type less videos.. sick of clicking something to read it in 3 seconds.. instead lets make it a video and have a 30 second ad before you can get to the actual video for what could have been explained in 5 seconds of reading...

oh.. and German Goo Girls.... thats better also...
 
2012-07-25 10:40:19 AM
It took somewhere between 2 and 12 hours to download this video, which you can now download faster than its run rime.
 
2012-07-25 10:44:02 AM

gmoney101: What about no free porn?


What, you never heard of usenet?
 
2012-07-25 10:44:48 AM

gmoney101: What about no free porn?


usenet
 
2012-07-25 10:46:13 AM

gmoney101: What about no free porn?


What internet were you on back in the day?

That's all there was. Everywhere.

/And dancing hampster babies
 
2012-07-25 10:47:58 AM
You'll notice that each and every one of these abominations happened after the start of the Eternal September.

I liked the internet a lot more before they started letting all you people access it.
 
2012-07-25 10:49:48 AM

gmoney101: What about no free porn?


There has always been free porn. The only problem getting to it was my 14.4 modem and my parents getting pissed about the phone being busy all the time.

/Computer was in my room
//Parents were, and probably still are clueless about internet porn
 
2012-07-25 10:50:10 AM

Gonz: You'll notice that each and every one of these abominations happened after the start of the Eternal September.

I liked the internet a lot more before they started letting all you people access it.


Heh.

How's that radio working out for you?
 
2012-07-25 10:53:41 AM

gmoney101: What about no free porn?


The free porn pics in the 90s were lame comapred to the free vids today. But somehow, they were way hotter. Novelty, I guess.
 
2012-07-25 10:55:34 AM

stewbert: The free porn pics in the 90s were lame comapred to the free vids today. But somehow, they were way hotter. Novelty, I guess.


You've become jaded and numbed by the sheer amount of naked boobies available. Scarcity = value.
 
2012-07-25 10:56:39 AM

Faps_in_the_kitchen: gmoney101: What about no free porn?

There has always been free porn. The only problem getting to it was my 14.4 modem and my parents getting pissed about the phone being busy all the time.

/Computer was in my room
//Parents were, and probably still are clueless about internet porn


You kids don't know how good you had it. Back in my day, porn was a magazine, a deck of "dirty" playing cards, a pen that had the bikini fall off the woman when you turned it upside down, or, if you were really, really lucky, a silent 8mm "stag" film starring Fanny McHugebush.

/First modem was 300 bauds.
 
2012-07-25 10:59:28 AM

dittybopper: gmoney101: What about no free porn?

What, you never heard of usenet?


does iMesh count?
/sadly, the only true hipster iWhatever.
What if your intent was to make a crappy Geocities website because the class at the time wanted to see what was possible?
/I miss my altar of nonsense...
 
2012-07-25 10:59:31 AM
Spamford Wallace and his Cyber Promotions spam business.
 
2012-07-25 11:01:21 AM
I remember playing Everquest on a 56k Modem, or my friends playing Ultima Online. Also playind MUDDs late at night in College was always a fun time. I'll go back to my moms basement now.
 
2012-07-25 11:02:34 AM
Looking at that old pic of Yahoo's landing page I was momentarily taken back to those salad days when a young man with a text editor and a copy of Netscape Navigator could become, for a time, the pre-eminent web authority on Albrecht Durer's Melencolia I.
 
2012-07-25 11:11:00 AM
First home computer was a CompuDyne with a 386 processor and 14.4 modem. I was so excited the first time I logged onto Prodigy.
 
2012-07-25 11:12:02 AM
I remember when they were announcing the coming of the World Wide Web (the Super Information Highway) and thinking to myself how it will kill the BBS scene and how horrible it will be that EVERYONE will be on it. It pretty much turned out exactly how I thought it would. It's gotten better over the years but the 90's and early 00's were awful.

Usenet and IRC were pretty cool though.
 
2012-07-25 11:17:36 AM
You kids aren't going to believe this, but back in my day porn videos consisted of just one image, and it didn't even have sound!
 
2012-07-25 11:17:43 AM
And yet, it was so much more fun. The internet was the wild west back then. A whole bunch of sub-cultures mashed together with no oversight and no corporate d-baggery. Sure, for most of us it was slow, but damn if it wasn't interesting.

This article has a very condescending tone, which is silly...OBVIOUSLY technology has progressed by leaps and bounds since then. You can't hold that against the era in question. Show all that stuff to someone from 1982, and they'll shart their parachute pants.
 
2012-07-25 11:18:45 AM

Mr_Fabulous: First home computer was a CompuDyne with a 386 processor and 14.4 modem. I was so excited the first time I logged onto Prodigy.


SX or DX?
 
2012-07-25 11:20:55 AM
Ahhh, 1995: the year I found the internet.

The best: The successful connection sound and the ritual starting of Netscape.

The Worst: getting disconnected and not finding out for 10 minutes because you thought the damn page was still loading.

I still have numerous MP3 files I downloaded on a 56k hookup. Leave it on allllllllllllllllllll night, man. And pray that your connection doesn't drop.

Also: Multiplayer Doom and Duke Nukem 3D. So much fun. Did anybody ever play multiplayer Interstate '76?
 
2012-07-25 11:22:24 AM

Gonz: You'll notice that each and every one of these abominations happened after the start of the Eternal September.

I liked the internet a lot more before they started letting all you people access it.


One of the most epic flame forums I've ever seen was the alt.aol-sucks newsgroup.

/guessing 99% of current internet users don't know what Usenet is...
 
2012-07-25 11:26:17 AM
I'm glad they included real player on that list.

God I hated real player.
 
2012-07-25 11:32:33 AM

Mr_Fabulous: First home computer was a CompuDyne with a 386 processor and 14.4 modem. I was so excited the first time I logged onto Prodigy.


Pffftt... My first computer was a Commodore VIC 20 with an 8-bit CPU, 5KB of RAM, a cassette tape deck for storage, and a 300 baud modem.

/stayed awake for 36 hours playing with that thing when I first got it.
 
2012-07-25 11:34:23 AM

trotsky: Also: Multiplayer Doom and Duke Nukem 3D. So much fun. Did anybody ever play multiplayer Interstate '76?


No, I wanted to so bad though.

I did play Doom and Duke 3D...plus Red Alert and Mechwarrior 2....that is all I can think of right now.
 
2012-07-25 11:36:07 AM

impaler: I'm glad they included real player on that list.

God I hated real player.


Is it still around in some form, or was it finally killed?
 
2012-07-25 11:37:14 AM

The English Major: impaler: I'm glad they included real player on that list.

God I hated real player.

Is it still around in some form, or was it finally killed?


Its name was changed to Vevo.
 
2012-07-25 11:38:35 AM

Faps_in_the_kitchen: gmoney101: What about no free porn?

There has always been free porn. The only problem getting to it was my 14.4 modem and my parents getting pissed about the phone being busy all the time.

/Computer was in my room
//Parents were, and probably still are clueless about internet porn


I'll never forget the day my Dad came home from jail and threatened to destroy my computer because he tried to call my mom to bail him out and the phone line was busy all night. Boy was he pissed.

Moral of the story, don't get into drunken bar fights and get arrested while your son in downloading porn on a 14.4 modem

/CSB
//I paid for the computer myself
///After that incident, I was in charge of paying the phone bill too. (15 years old)
 
2012-07-25 11:39:35 AM

Mr_Fabulous: First home computer was a CompuDyne with a 386 processor and 14.4 modem. I was so excited the first time I logged onto Prodigy.


My first computer had a 6809 CPU, clocked at something like 0.89 MHz, and 16k of RAM. No modem, and you had to use a cassette player to store and retrieve programs that you had written.

/Second computer had the 300 baud modem.
 
2012-07-25 11:48:04 AM

dittybopper: or, if you were really, really lucky, a silent 8mm "stag" film starring Fanny McHugebush


Fanny McHugebush is going to be the bass player in my made-up-in-my-head band!!
 
2012-07-25 12:04:10 PM

degenerate-afro: Faps_in_the_kitchen: gmoney101: What about no free porn?

There has always been free porn. The only problem getting to it was my 14.4 modem and my parents getting pissed about the phone being busy all the time.

/Computer was in my room
//Parents were, and probably still are clueless about internet porn

I'll never forget the day my Dad came home from jail and threatened to destroy my computer because he tried to call my mom to bail him out and the phone line was busy all night. Boy was he pissed.

Moral of the story, don't get into drunken bar fights and get arrested while your son in downloading porn on a 14.4 modem

/CSB
//I paid for the computer myself
///After that incident, I was in charge of paying the phone bill too. (15 years old)


Better yet, my dad subscribed to the cheapest phone service around: first 20 calls that month are free, after that it was something like $2 for every phone call. This stopped be a cheap service when I started trolling 2-5 BBSs / night
 
2012-07-25 12:09:49 PM

Icetech3: 2 ways it was better.... NO farkING VIDEO ADS.... everywhere...
and more type less videos.. sick of clicking something to read it in 3 seconds.. instead lets make it a video and have a 30 second ad before you can get to the actual video for what could have been explained in 5 seconds of reading...

oh.. and German Goo Girls.... thats better also...


WOW, they are still around! Probably the same girls.
 
2012-07-25 12:13:31 PM

dittybopper: Faps_in_the_kitchen: gmoney101: What about no free porn?

There has always been free porn. The only problem getting to it was my 14.4 modem and my parents getting pissed about the phone being busy all the time.

/Computer was in my room
//Parents were, and probably still are clueless about internet porn

You kids don't know how good you had it. Back in my day, porn was a magazine, a deck of "dirty" playing cards, a pen that had the bikini fall off the woman when you turned it upside down, or, if you were really, really lucky, a silent 8mm "stag" film starring Fanny McHugebush.

/First modem was 300 bauds.


I guessing you are about my age.
Remember when the first bush appeared in Playboy too?
 
2012-07-25 12:16:54 PM
I can attest to the fact that yes, there was free porn on the nets in the 90's. But it wasn't as varied and there wasn't as much of it.

Once I got a slightly faster connection than my original one (sorry guys, I'm nerdy enough to know a bit about computers but I can't remember the connection speeds), I began searching for more stuff. Free vids were a definite hassle. Most sites only had maybe 40-50 vids, many of which would be just a few minutes and many of which would be crap. So you'd trawl through loads of pages just to find one 5 min vid that you could fap to.

I remember in the late 90's when someone linked me to a site that was updated daily with links to free vids from around the net with descriptions beside each one. It still wasn't great cause you'd get misled all the time but just having a selection of hundreds of choices on one site was a revelation in itself.

I actually paid for porn quite a few times in the 90's cause it was really the only way to get what you wanted.
 
2012-07-25 12:45:31 PM
In the 90s we didn't give a crap about any of that, because we remembered the 80s when we didn't have any of that.

There was porn on usenet that was just as sick and twisted as today's stuff. I remember my wife-to-be uudecoding a file, saying "they can't really doing that to that elephant...can they?" They were.

The biggest difference is that porn was mostly still images, then towards the end of the 90s, a few short videos.
 
2012-07-25 01:07:01 PM
Internet in the 90s was farking awesome ...I miss the days when i did not have to deal with all the popups and images and flash and javascript horsecrap.

DIKU MUDs
Nettrek
Gopher
Linx

Telnet was the shiat back in the day.

This is like saying airplanes sucked back in the day because we did not have jet engines ...dude your farking flying!
 
2012-07-25 01:11:34 PM

Krieghund: In the 90s we didn't give a crap about any of that, because we remembered the 80s when we didn't have any of that.

There was porn on usenet that was just as sick and twisted as today's stuff. I remember my wife-to-be uudecoding a file, saying "they can't really doing that to that elephant...can they?" They were.

The biggest difference is that porn was mostly still images, then towards the end of the 90s, a few short videos.


I'd personally like to thank the editors of those short clips...not everyone can capture the essence of a scene in a six-second clip repeating on media player.
 
2012-07-25 01:17:04 PM

Faps_in_the_kitchen: /Computer was in my room


and yet you still fapped in the kitchen...
 
2012-07-25 01:19:53 PM

Burr: trotsky: Also: Multiplayer Doom and Duke Nukem 3D. So much fun. Did anybody ever play multiplayer Interstate '76?

No, I wanted to so bad though.

I did play Doom and Duke 3D...plus Red Alert and Mechwarrior 2....that is all I can think of right now.


Playing Doom deathmatches on custom maps created with DoomCAD is still one of my best computer gaming memories.
 
2012-07-25 01:20:06 PM

The English Major: impaler: I'm glad they included real player on that list.

God I hated real player.

Is it still around in some form, or was it finally killed?



I installed Real Alternative just because the BBC was using real files for some of their streaming material.
http://download.cnet.com/Real-Alternative/3000-2139_4-10698783.html
 
2012-07-25 01:21:03 PM

cig-mkr: Icetech3: 2 ways it was better.... NO farkING VIDEO ADS.... everywhere...
and more type less videos.. sick of clicking something to read it in 3 seconds.. instead lets make it a video and have a 30 second ad before you can get to the actual video for what could have been explained in 5 seconds of reading...

oh.. and German Goo Girls.... thats better also...

WOW, they are still around! Probably the same girls.



I hope at least the goo is fresh.
 
2012-07-25 01:21:31 PM

Icetech3: 2 ways it was better.... NO farkING VIDEO ADS.... everywhere...
and more type less videos.. sick of clicking something to read it in 3 seconds.. instead lets make it a video and have a 30 second ad before you can get to the actual video for what could have been explained in 5 seconds of reading...


A combination of FlashBlock and AdBLock work for me in those situations.
 
2012-07-25 01:26:45 PM
I got my first computer in 96 when I was 10 years old. A Compaq Presario with a 75mhz processor, 8MB of Ram and a 1 GB hard drive LOL. I remember making cheesy websites on GeoCities and I HATED real player too. Cool it was added to the list. I remember me and my friend would look up softcore Playboy images on Compuserve...that shiat would take like 10 minutes to DL a single pic. He used my printer and printed out a book - I think he still has it somewhere. Funny stuff.

/buffering........
 
2012-07-25 01:29:20 PM
Door games were far superior to Farmville
 
2012-07-25 01:30:13 PM
Jeezus. I've been a Linux user longer than many of you n00bs have been on the Internet.

Lemme break it down:

1989:
DNS was an /etc/hosts file
56k from our campus to Syracuse
80286 system running DOS
USENET
9600 bps dialup to a Gould system running some horrible version of UNIX
TinyTIM started around that time (year or two later maybe) - MUDs and MUSHes was the entertainment of the day

video? audio? pshaw. We did get dedicated sound cards in the early 90s, but it was almost always the honker.
 
2012-07-25 01:31:00 PM

Krieghund: There was porn on usenet that was just as sick and twisted as today's stuff.


Yep. 1992. Working at a helpdesk for a newfangled "Internet" network. In-between playing Scorch and Civ we would WAIS and Gopher around. I remember one of my coworkers suddenly letting an in-drawn whistle and saying, "Oh my God that's a HORSE."

We also got the Nieman-Marcus cookie recipe sent to us many times.
 
2012-07-25 01:36:28 PM
Canter and Siegel Green Card Lottery
 
2012-07-25 01:40:40 PM

keepitcherry: I got my first computer in 96 when I was 10 years old. A Compaq Presario with a 75mhz processor, 8MB of Ram and a 1 GB hard drive LOL. I remember making cheesy websites on GeoCities and I HATED real player too. Cool it was added to the list. I remember me and my friend would look up softcore Playboy images on Compuserve...that shiat would take like 10 minutes to DL a single pic. He used my printer and printed out a book - I think he still has it somewhere. Funny stuff.

/buffering........


Ohhhhh look at Mr. fancypants!

Got our first one around the same time...25Mhz, 4MB memory and a 200MB compressed drive... Could actually play some games on it after I installed another 4MB of memory, sort of.. It also had this wierd CD-ROM disk drive hybrid where instead of a tray you had to load the disks into special cases that looked like oversized 3.5" disks.
 
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