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(Galesburg Register-Mail)   Burglar breaks into home, bypasses the television and other valuables to steal the sex toys. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG   (galesburg.com) divider line 55
    More: Dumbass, sex toys  
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3551 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2012 at 11:31 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-25 08:41:21 AM
No, no no, subby...the thief it doing it right. Soo....right. YES, DO IT RIGHT!
 
2012-07-25 08:45:31 AM
a pink Adidas bag containing sex toys and antibiotics had been taken.

Sounds like someone was ready for the weekend.
 
2012-07-25 10:38:36 AM
This isn't surprising. I had a house guest steal 2 pairs of my favorite underpants, 1 pair of bike shorts and my vibrator.

I mean. Seriously!?? WTF

Creep.
 
2012-07-25 11:33:38 AM

xanadian: This isn't surprising. I had a house guest steal 2 pairs of my favorite underpants, 1 pair of bike shorts and my vibrator.

I mean. Seriously!?? WTF

Creep.


I'm all done with them now. You need them back?
 
2012-07-25 11:35:57 AM
I know buying sex toys is embarrassing, but resorting to breaking and entering? Sheesh...
 
2012-07-25 11:37:02 AM
Are you kidding me subby? I get go out and buy a TV anywhere for next to nothing from some meth head.. But tracking down a potentially used by an actual woman vibrator? You know how much those things go for?
 
2012-07-25 11:39:11 AM
sex toys and antibiotics
seems like a great band name
 
2012-07-25 11:39:39 AM
www.karolinagames.com
 
2012-07-25 11:39:51 AM
there's no RIGHT way to burgle a house. it's like eating a Resee's
 
2012-07-25 11:40:03 AM
The suspect is most likely an envious neighbor/competitor that she's consistently outsold,thus preventing her from nabbing her own penile-shaped Cadillac....
 
2012-07-25 11:41:21 AM
just gotta follow the trail of fish smell and clitty litter.
 
2012-07-25 11:42:51 AM
I wonder if I'd even report them stolen. On the other hand, I'm grinning broadly imagining myself wildly embellishing the inventory and descriptions while itemising the losses to the police.
 
2012-07-25 11:46:39 AM
Reminds me of a story a good friend of mine told me years ago. Their friend had somebody break in and ramsack their house pretty good. The odd thing was, nothing was stolen. There was some expensive electronic equipment, jewelry, and a very expensive film camera out in the open that were not touched.

A few weeks later, they finished the roll of film on the camera and took it to have it developed and prints made. Quite a shock when they opened the packet of pictures. Along with their vacation photos were several pictures of the intruders, bent over with their pants down and the toothbrushes of everybody in the household shoved up their ass.

Needless to say, they would have much rather they just stolen all of their stuff.
 
2012-07-25 11:49:19 AM
First of all, some of those toys are insanely expensive. Second of all, who wants to use second-hand sex toys?

/perplexed
//would not want to see them on CraigsList
 
2012-07-25 11:49:56 AM
Look for someone buying an abnormal amount of batteries.
 
2012-07-25 11:50:58 AM
Hey Girl I smell your lightsaber.

Vrooommph
 
2012-07-25 11:51:15 AM

wildcat2011: Reminds me of a story a good friend of mine told me years ago. Their friend had somebody break in and ramsack their house pretty good. The odd thing was, nothing was stolen. There was some expensive electronic equipment, jewelry, and a very expensive film camera out in the open that were not touched.

A few weeks later, they finished the roll of film on the camera and took it to have it developed and prints made. Quite a shock when they opened the packet of pictures. Along with their vacation photos were several pictures of the intruders, bent over with their pants down and the toothbrushes of everybody in the household shoved up their ass.

Needless to say, they would have much rather they just stolen all of their stuff.


Story seems very similar to this urban legend
 
2012-07-25 11:52:51 AM

wildcat2011: Reminds me of a story a good friend of mine told me years ago. Their friend had somebody break in and ramsack their house pretty good. The odd thing was, nothing was stolen. There was some expensive electronic equipment, jewelry, and a very expensive film camera out in the open that were not touched.

A few weeks later, they finished the roll of film on the camera and took it to have it developed and prints made. Quite a shock when they opened the packet of pictures. Along with their vacation photos were several pictures of the intruders, bent over with their pants down and the toothbrushes of everybody in the household shoved up their ass.

Needless to say, they would have much rather they just stolen all of their stuff.


Urban legend (or at least I hope so).
 
2012-07-25 11:53:56 AM

Babboonrash: wildcat2011: Reminds me of a story a good friend of mine told me years ago. Their friend had somebody break in and ramsack their house pretty good. The odd thing was, nothing was stolen. There was some expensive electronic equipment, jewelry, and a very expensive film camera out in the open that were not touched.

A few weeks later, they finished the roll of film on the camera and took it to have it developed and prints made. Quite a shock when they opened the packet of pictures. Along with their vacation photos were several pictures of the intruders, bent over with their pants down and the toothbrushes of everybody in the household shoved up their ass.

Needless to say, they would have much rather they just stolen all of their stuff.

Story seems very similar to this urban legend


Aw, crap. Thought I'd hit F5 recently enough. Kudos to you!
 
2012-07-25 11:54:50 AM
GAH! Stealing someone's sex toys? That's so nasty.

CSB time:

Hubby and I were visiting the in-laws in Tampa and an adult video / toy store was en route.
Out in front was the following sign:

*** SALE ***
Used Videos, Sex Toys

All I could think was "ewwwwwww". I mean, who would buy a used vibrator? Wait, on second
thought, don't answer that. Rule 34 and all.
 
2012-07-25 12:00:07 PM

digitalrain: GAH! Stealing someone's sex toys? That's so nasty.

CSB time:

Hubby and I were visiting the in-laws in Tampa and an adult video / toy store was en route.
Out in front was the following sign:

*** SALE ***
Used Videos, Sex Toys

All I could think was "ewwwwwww". I mean, who would buy a used vibrator? Wait, on second
thought, don't answer that. Rule 34 and all.


Not as nasty when some one donates them to a second hand charity store. Happens quite a bit.
 
2012-07-25 12:05:21 PM
Frankly, I don't see what all the buzz is about.
 
2012-07-25 12:07:41 PM

MattyBlast: Frankly, I don't see what all the buzz is about.


Yes, they will have to look long and hard for the perpetrator
 
2012-07-25 12:08:48 PM
Everyone can relax. I'm a sex toy, but no one stole me.
/some might even call me a...sex machine
//get on up
 
2012-07-25 12:10:36 PM
I had a burglar walk around my Les Paul to steal some DVDs, thankfully.
 
2012-07-25 12:12:21 PM
That's not mine, baby!
 
2012-07-25 12:13:16 PM

limeyfellow: digitalrain: GAH! Stealing someone's sex toys? That's so nasty.

CSB time:

Hubby and I were visiting the in-laws in Tampa and an adult video / toy store was en route.
Out in front was the following sign:

*** SALE ***
Used Videos, Sex Toys

All I could think was "ewwwwwww". I mean, who would buy a used vibrator? Wait, on second
thought, don't answer that. Rule 34 and all.

Not as nasty when some one donates them to a second hand charity store. Happens quite a bit.


what else are you going to do with it when cleaning up Grandma;s house when she dies?

Put it on the mantle and tell everyone, that little thing there made grandma very happy these last few years, on hot nights with high humidity its like I can smell her with us?
 
2012-07-25 12:13:20 PM
CSB time....

Years ago, I worked for a home improvement company and we were replacing the windows at the residence of an older widow in her 70's. Now, I get that people enjoy sex on into their older years. That's not what creeped me out. My workmate & I were moving a dresser away from a window. Chris kicked something that was under the dresser and out of a sock jump some vibrators which roll about the floor as granny, redfaced and frantic, scoops them up.

Now normally, that wouldn't bother me but...well....

Have you ever noticed what happens to a leather steering wheel after a couple hundred thousand miles of driving with no cleaning?
 
2012-07-25 12:16:50 PM
Have you ever shopped for sex toys, subby? Those things can get damn expensive.
 
2012-07-25 12:17:45 PM

fappomatic: Have you ever noticed what happens to a leather steering wheel after a couple hundred thousand miles of driving with no cleaning?


It starts to taste better?
 
2012-07-25 12:22:50 PM

Teufelaffe: Have you ever shopped for sex toys, subby? Those things can get damn expensive.


Burgler won't get squat selling them out of the back of a van. The best return would be to fence it to a "legitimate" establishment - which means taking a huge cut under wholesale prices on items that are already generally marked up 200% retail.
 
2012-07-25 12:26:03 PM

xanadian: This isn't surprising. I had a house guest steal 2 pairs of my favorite underpants, 1 pair of bike shorts and my vibrator.

I mean. Seriously!?? WTF

Creep.


How you doing.....
 
2012-07-25 12:27:36 PM

ChipNASA:


AWESOME!!!!
 
2012-07-25 12:28:05 PM
Can Grable's Daughter account for her whereabouts?
 
2012-07-25 12:28:06 PM
Someone is doing it right:) and sorry this was the closest pic to what i was thinking:)

verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-25 12:28:21 PM
Subby here:

If they ever catch the person who did this, I want to go watch their trial.

Prosecutor: "Your honor, the state introduces Exhibit S-1...a vibrator."
Judge: "Ewwww..."

Can you imagine sitting around the cellblock?

Inmate 1: "What are you in for?"
Inmate 2: "Murder. How about you?"
Inmate 1: "Stealing sex toys."
Inmate 2: .......
 
2012-07-25 12:37:41 PM
YOUR DONG IT WRONG?
 
2012-07-25 12:49:04 PM

PsyLord: First of all, some of those toys are insanely expensive. Second of all, who wants to use second-hand sex toys?

/perplexed
//would not want to see them on CraigsList


This was my reaction. I would not have wanted to touch them. This is Fark though. Probably a dozen or so Farkers here with stories about going to flea markets and garage sales shopping for blow up dolls.
 
2012-07-25 12:56:36 PM
That's always where I keep my antibiotics.
 
2012-07-25 01:03:25 PM
Perhaps the thief knew they weren't the cleanest people and was planning to use the toys in crimes to frame them.
 
2012-07-25 01:15:21 PM

redundantman: YOUR YOU'RE DONG IT WRONG WONG?


/I still long for a reincarnation of long duck dong
 
2012-07-25 01:16:38 PM

Enigmamf: Teufelaffe: Have you ever shopped for sex toys, subby? Those things can get damn expensive.

Burgler won't get squat selling them out of the back of a van. The best return would be to fence it to a "legitimate" establishment - which means taking a huge cut under wholesale prices on items that are already generally marked up 200% retail.


Oh, I wasn't thinking they were stolen to be resold, just reused.

/Ew
 
2012-07-25 01:22:03 PM

Teufelaffe: Enigmamf: Teufelaffe: Have you ever shopped for sex toys, subby? Those things can get damn expensive.

Burgler won't get squat selling them out of the back of a van. The best return would be to fence it to a "legitimate" establishment - which means taking a huge cut under wholesale prices on items that are already generally marked up 200% retail.

Oh, I wasn't thinking they were stolen to be resold, just reused.

/Ew


and most likely smelled and tasted.

the perp knows the person they were stolen from... guaranteed

hell.. HE/SHE, depending on what was stolen will possibly even have it inserted in themselves the next time they talk to her..
 
2012-07-25 01:24:01 PM
doing it wrong?
i126.photobucket.com

///gross
 
2012-07-25 01:46:06 PM
Not surprising in this down economy, have you prices a Lelo recently?
 
2012-07-25 01:59:46 PM
Does GD have an alibi?
 
2012-07-25 02:09:05 PM
The fact that they were used is exactly why he wanted them. The same reason weirdos buy used panties.
 
2012-07-25 02:09:09 PM
No subby, wrong would be putting them back when he was done
 
2012-07-25 02:18:38 PM

Hand Banana: The fact that they were used is exactly why he wanted them. The same reason weirdos buy used panties.


He has to fill the inventory of his used sex toy vending machine that is sitting next to the used panties vending machine?
 
2012-07-25 03:40:19 PM

SuperChuck: xanadian: This isn't surprising. I had a house guest steal 2 pairs of my favorite underpants, 1 pair of bike shorts and my vibrator.

I mean. Seriously!?? WTF

Creep.

I'm all done with them now. You need them back?


I checked xanadian's profile, and it appears he is a gay man. I could be wrong, and NTTAWWT, but you might want to find out exactly who was using those panties and vibrator. Maybe you like ballsack grease on your used panties, and poo on your vibrator. If that's your thing, I'm not one to judge. But if you where expecting muff blossoms in the panties and slug trail residue on your vibrator, you might be a little disappointed.

Just saying.
 
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