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Colorado shooter's apartment filled with first post traps, Ric Flair welcomed by group who really appreciates a good penis-waggling, and a Ford recall when the carpets don't match the brakes: Fark's favorite headlines for 7/15 - 7/21
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-07-24 5:52:28 PM (11 comments) | Permalink

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4427 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2012 at 6:00 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Some really good headlines last week. Everybody really loved "Colorado shooter's apartment loaded with Boobies traps" and I have to admit--that's a thing of beauty.

For those of you that worried that the poetic headline about the nuclear reactor shutdown isn't here, don't worry--it's been saved for the end of the year contests. Even though it's pretty good on its own, the fact that it's regarding the Limerick Nuclear Power Plant makes it a slam-dunk context headline of the year candidate, and a pretty strong one at that.

Enjoy the rest, and hopefully see a headline you missed last week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-07-15 to Sat 2012-07-21:

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  Man caught breaking into drug store in a Mr. T mask one week after breaking into same drug store in a Mike Tyson mask, will now spend several years in a Ned Beatty mask    
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  Man arrested for assaulting cousin in Gorman. Subby doesn't know where one's Gorman is located, but it sounds like it hurts    
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  Donald J. Sobol, Encyclopedia Brown author, dead at 87. Killer last seen running away putting the murder weapon in his left pants pocket with his right hand    
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  Researchers link anxiety to accelerated aging, so if you fear death, you probably should    
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  Fresh clashes rock Damascus, the Casbah    
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  Coachella might be headed to sea, which would expose attendees to water for the first time in months    
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  B - A - N - N - E - R - P - L - A - N - E - C - R - A - S - H - E - S - i - N - M - Y - R - T - L - E - B - E - A - C - H    
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  Bullying in the workplace increases staff turnover, even among those not being targeted. HEY DUMMY, WHY ARE YOU EVALUATING YOURSELF? STOP EVALUATING YOURSELF    
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  Onion products may be contaminated with listeria, says area man    
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  Colorado shooter's apartment loaded with Boobies traps    
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  Step 1: "Unleash the Power Within" with motivational speaker. Step 2: Walk on hot coals. Step 3: very quickly followed by steps 4,5,6,7 and 8    
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Sports:

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  As the biker climbs ever higher, wondering why there's a farking tack in his tire, oh my god -- the Tour's a mirage, I'm telling you all it's sabotage    
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  Wife of former Mets pitcher who famously said she would sleep with the whole Mets organization if he ever cheated, files for divorce after he cheated. Looks like the Mets are finally going to score    
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  Michael Phelps unhappy with USA swim caps, while his dealer is just unhappy that he's at the Olympics    
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Geek:

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  Laboratory successfully tests 500 terawatt laser. You may fire when ready, Commander    
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  Guy finally meets girl after spending five years courting her on Halo, promptly teabags her    
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  Idioms lost to Tech. I didn't even know they were playing each other    
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Entertainment:

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  Six feet Deep Purple    
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  Former Full House star Jodie Sweetin sues man who hit her in car accident, claims he really methed her up    
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  Ric Flair to appear at the Gathering of the Juggalos. Subby thinks it's nice Flair has finally found a group of people that will not only appreciate, but encourage his habit of waving his penis around in public    
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Politics:

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  Sarah Palin can't see her Republican National Convention invite from her house    
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  GOP strategist: "Romney needs to grab a bottle, break it on the bar and start fighting back"...just as soon as he takes off his white dressage tights and silk shadbelly, and prays to his moon God for permission to enter an ale house    
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  Bachmann, despite slanDER Ploy against Huma Abedin, is a top GOP fundraiser as House Tea Party caucus founDER, Providing further evidence of the sociopathic unDERPinnings of her cerebrally unDERPowered political base. Makes one wonDER, People  


Business:

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  Ford recalls 8000 Escapes because the carpet doesn't match the brakes    
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  Lower profits at Philip Morris prompts increase in second hand stock    
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  Not so fast, we can't allow you to wear your Pepsi® shirt to The Olympics. I'm sorry, I mean Coca-Cola®'s The Olympics. Excuse me, I mean McDonald's® and Coca-Cola® Present The Olympics Featuring Adidas®    
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11 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2012-07-24 06:01:08 PM  
And naturally, I got tripped by the Fark filter just posting the "post which happens to be first" boobie trap headline.
 
2012-07-24 06:06:04 PM  
The "post which happens to be first" traps headline caused the first real spit take I've done in a long while. HotY!
 
2012-07-24 06:08:40 PM  
What if there were an infinite number of HotY candidates within an infinite number of universes? You could see all the candidates win in alternate universes.
 
2012-07-24 06:19:39 PM  

img.fark.net Guy finally meets girl after spending five years courting her on Halo, promptly teabags her


Don't understand it, but I knows comedy when I sees it.
 
2012-07-24 06:28:54 PM  
Post before second trap
 
2012-07-24 07:16:30 PM  
I've never heard of 'Boobies traps' before
I think y'all are just making things up as you go
 
2012-07-24 08:07:32 PM  

brewswane: I've never heard of 'Boobies traps' before
I think y'all are just making things up as you go


It's in the FArQ.

"Boobies" time warp

For whatever reason message boards on sites like Fark are forever plagued with morons posting "Boobies" anytime a link is posted. Fark automatically turns the words "Boobies" into the word "boobies" and resets the timestamp on the message to some time in the future so that it isn't the Boobies anymore. Attempts to evade that sometimes result in it becoming "weeners" instead of "boobies".

The "Boobies" line item in your MyFark profile is the date of the Boobies you ever made to Fark.
 
2012-07-24 08:37:53 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: brewswane: I've never heard of 'Boobies traps' before
I think y'all are just making things up as you go

It's in the FArQ.

"Boobies" time warp

For whatever reason message boards on sites like Fark are forever plagued with morons posting "Boobies" anytime a link is posted. Fark automatically turns the words "Boobies" into the word "boobies" and resets the timestamp on the message to some time in the future so that it isn't the Boobies anymore. Attempts to evade that sometimes result in it becoming "weeners" instead of "boobies".

The "Boobies" line item in your MyFark profile is the date of the Boobies you ever made to Fark.


And by "Boobies", he of course means Boobies.
 
2012-07-24 11:08:21 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: brewswane: I've never heard of 'Boobies traps' before
I think y'all are just making things up as you go

It's in the FArQ.

"Boobies" time warp

For whatever reason message boards on sites like Fark are forever plagued with morons posting "Boobies" anytime a link is posted. Fark automatically turns the words "Boobies" into the word "boobies" and resets the timestamp on the message to some time in the future so that it isn't the Boobies anymore. Attempts to evade that sometimes result in it becoming "weeners" instead of "boobies".

The "Boobies" line item in your MyFark profile is the date of the Boobies you ever made to Fark.


If I hadn't been on fark so long I'd be so confused right now. Well done!
 
2012-07-25 08:41:00 AM  
It's not even 8:00 and already I've lol'd myself.
 
2012-07-25 07:43:54 PM  
Filter pwnage is funnier than any of these headlines. Bad week....:(
 
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