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(National Geographic)   700-year-old toothless "Vampire" skeleton found entombed among church ruins in Bulgaria   (news.nationalgeographic.com) divider line 25
    More: Interesting, Bulgaria, Reuters News, Bram Stoker, Venetian  
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20070 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2012 at 5:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-24 05:14:03 PM  
4 votes:
Here's a different report on another very disturbing find.
2012-07-24 02:19:18 PM  
4 votes:
The skeleton had been stabbed in the chest with an iron rod

DON'T REMOVE THE ROD!
2012-07-24 02:11:23 PM  
4 votes:
Whoa.

We lycanthropes are a much nicer lot. We buried gramps with Snausages, Kongs, and PetCo gift certificates.
2012-07-24 02:48:46 PM  
3 votes:

RexTalionis: Fun fact - the whole point of the stake/rod through the chest isn't to kill the vampire. It's meant to nail the vampire into the ground so it can't get up.


FUNNER FACT: THAT FACT IS NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM "FUN".

*continues to unblinkingly stare at ceiling, drinking coffee through an IV whilst laying on a bed of garlic, unable to sleep*
2012-07-24 07:55:20 PM  
2 votes:
splendidfred.files.wordpress.com
2012-07-24 05:26:19 PM  
2 votes:

TheHappTroll: toothless "Vampire" ? What did he suck?


Dick
2012-07-24 05:09:04 PM  
2 votes:
This here is an argument for good traditional Christianity.
2012-07-24 02:51:01 PM  
2 votes:

Walker: The skeleton had been stabbed in the chest with an iron rod

DON'T REMOVE THE ROD!



In Rod We Trust
2012-07-24 10:45:33 PM  
1 votes:
Just had 5 teeth pulled so I'm getting a .......iron rod through the heart out of this?
2012-07-24 10:26:58 PM  
1 votes:
Scoff if you must, but the stake in the chest obviously worked. He didn't rise out of his grave to terrorize the countryside.
2012-07-24 10:10:49 PM  
1 votes:

Alpha Sierra Foxtrot: Does anyone really believe that the whole vampire thing started with Bram Stoker?

PSA for those of you considering reading Dracula the Un-Dead by Dacre Stoker: Don't. Just go read the original again. You'll feel more accomplished.


I was living with a friend when "Bram Stoker's Dracula" came out. She was so psyched about seeing it that she bought the original book and read it through, so she'd get as much out of it as possible.

I didn't go with her to the premier, for reasons that are unimportant here, but stayed home and played cards. I knew she was home when I heard the back door slam. Then I heard another sound. She'd thrown her wad of keys and fobs at the kitchen table, a small enamelled job, and it skipped off and sailed the length of the house, almost into the room where I was at the end of the hall. When I stepped out, I saw her standing in the kitchen with her fists balled and trembling at her sides.

"I don't know *whose* 'Dracula' I just saw," she growled, then shouted, "but it was NOT. BRAM. STOKER'S!"
2012-07-24 06:27:31 PM  
1 votes:

Tsar_Bomba1: I was reading a criminal profiler's book and he suggested that the legends of vampires and werewolves could possibly come from serial killers way back then. People finding bodies that were slaughtered in some horrific manner - that may have been the way the populace dealt with crimes like that. So far removed from out of the ordinary...


Vampirism was actually an allusion to STDS and sex. It was considered improper to speak openly in texts about sex, so the biting on the neck was just a way of saying they had sex. Its also where other parts of the lore come from... IE you have to invite a vampire into your home... same thing, they're saying you willingly allow strangers into your home for sex, being a slut is a choice you made.

Like most old folk tales, it was meant to scare people into behaving. In this case to stop you from whoring around town and catching bad diseases.
TWX
2012-07-24 05:45:52 PM  
1 votes:

brap: *continues to unblinkingly stare at ceiling, drinking coffee through an IV whilst laying on a bed of garlic, unable to sleep*


y'know, if you stop mainlining caffeine and pick a bed that's less pungent, you might be able to catch 40 winks...
2012-07-24 05:35:58 PM  
1 votes:

TheHappTroll: toothless "Vampire" ? What did he suck?


Menses.

/sorry/sub>
2012-07-24 05:34:49 PM  
1 votes:

Alpha Sierra Foxtrot: Does anyone really believe that the whole vampire thing started with Bram Stoker?

PSA for those of you considering reading Dracula the Un-Dead by Dacre Stoker: Don't. Just go read the original again. You'll feel more accomplished.


Didn't he also write "A Sale of Two Titties?"
2012-07-24 05:22:49 PM  
1 votes:
Shoot just imagine you lived back then and were knocked out for a day or were in a slight coma you wake up thrilled to be alive only to be chased down by your family and friends and have a stake shoved thru your chest...
2012-07-24 05:19:46 PM  
1 votes:

Slaves2Darkness: Meh ... in some of the original vampire folk lore a vampire only lived for about 40 days. You know what else only lives for about 40 days? Somebody infected with rabies.

That is right a vampire is just some asshole with rabies and delusions of grandeur.


Or it could be Bath Salts....
2012-07-24 05:18:28 PM  
1 votes:

Magnanimous_J: That part of the world is just chock full of awesomely creepy shiat. One day I would love to go on a tour of Eastern European medieval crazy stuff.


Best behave, the old ladies in small towns will put the evil eye on you.

/old traditions die hard.
2012-07-24 05:13:46 PM  
1 votes:
Meh ... in some of the original vampire folk lore a vampire only lived for about 40 days. You know what else only lives for about 40 days? Somebody infected with rabies.

That is right a vampire is just some asshole with rabies and delusions of grandeur.
2012-07-24 05:13:14 PM  
1 votes:
To hell with the "vampire" skeleton... I want one of those tiny chameleons at the bottom of the page. SO CUTE!
2012-07-24 05:11:32 PM  
1 votes:
Was my ex-wife resting next to him?
2012-07-24 05:08:35 PM  
1 votes:
robotandghost.com
2012-07-24 05:08:31 PM  
1 votes:
700 year old desecrated human corpse used to get page views
2012-07-24 05:06:10 PM  
1 votes:

The_Sponge: Walker: The skeleton had been stabbed in the chest with an iron rod

DON'T REMOVE THE ROD!


In Rod We Trust


Aw, they were about to show close ups of the rod.
2012-07-24 02:50:30 PM  
1 votes:

brap: RexTalionis: Fun fact - the whole point of the stake/rod through the chest isn't to kill the vampire. It's meant to nail the vampire into the ground so it can't get up.

FUNNER FACT: THAT FACT IS NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM "FUN".

*continues to unblinkingly stare at ceiling, drinking coffee through an IV whilst laying on a bed of garlic, unable to sleep*


Whatever. Coffin time.
 
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